Nick woke with a start and sat straight up in the bed, clasping his hands over his mouth to stifle the screams that were on the verge of spewing forth. He was shaking and breathing in sharp, panicked breaths. He couldn't get enough air.
"Are you OK?" she asked sleepily. She ran a hand up his trembling back. Sara was there in his bed. He had forgotten, though it all came rushing back to him now. He smiled in the dark, even though the nightmare still had him edgy.
"Just a dream. I usually go in the living room and turn on the TV," he said, moving to put on some pajama pants laying near the bed. She sat up and put her arms around him. The feel of her warm skin against his back was comforting.
"Lay back down with me," she said, pulling him down to the bed. "We can talk about it if you need to." He did lay down and let her soothe him with her hands. Surprisingly, he felt his heart slowing to a normal rate and his breathing became deeper and relaxed. The nightmare was actually fading a little, though not much. It made it so much easier to have someone with him. They talked in slow, gentle murmurs until they both went back to sleep.
She woke up the next evening with a clear head. She always knew exactly where she was when she woke up. It was a trait that had served her well as a child, when hiding and sleeping in unlikely locations had been a survival mechanism. She looked at Nick's clock and was surprised to see that she had slept more than eight hours. It was unheard of for her. She was sore from sleeping so hard. She thought about how she and Nick had passed the morning and decided the soreness might come from some other activities as well. She moved quietly out of the bed, careful not to disturb him. If the nightmare he had with her was any indication of what had been happening to him, he needed the rest. He looked pleasant in his sleep.
She doubted that it was a recommended therapy by psychoanalysts, but if Nick's unfurrowed brow was any sign, a good screw did wonders for the wounded psyche. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her own mood was very bright. She didn't know if it was the sleep or the sex.
Nick had said they would overanalyze and worry today. She was getting a head start without him. It was obvious that they had both benefitted from the carnal activities they had engaged in. She loved Nick, as a friend, but did she feel another way toward him? Was this just a friendly fuck? Sara wasn't a prude, but she wasn't sure if she was into such casual sex.
But then, what had really been casual about it? It had been a natural outgrowth of two friends bonding and sharing pain.
"Yeah, right," she said to herself. "I don't see Warrick's clothes lying in a heap in the bedroom." For a moment she stopped and laughed at the thought. She wished she could talk to someone about this. Catherine would be the perfect person if she didn't have her head so far up her own ass right now. Sara was sure Catherine had managed some friendly screwing around in the past. Sara would never share this with her. What about Greg? They had grown close over the past months, but even Greg might not understand the dynamic. Hell, she didn't understand the dynamic. She got dressed and left Nick a note on the kitchen counter. She wasn't sure she was ready to hear his side of the story yet.
Nick woke to hear Sara's GMC pulling out of his driveway. He looked at the time and realized he had slept better than he had since being kidnapped. He was a little glad that Sara had left without waking him. Then he was guilty for being glad. As of right now, he wasn't sure where they stood. All he knew was that he would be grateful if this was a one time occurrence. He would be more grateful if they could continue being friends. And if this was to happen again, well, he would cross that bridge when he came to it.
He padded into the kitchen, thankful that Catherine hadn't come by on her way to work, as she sometimes did. He snagged a diet Pepsi out of the refrigerator and read the note Sara had left on his counter.
"I've left to overanalyze and worry. Call me or don't," it said. Sara was so blunt. He smiled to himself when he saw the disarray of the couch pillows. He thought of his bed, rumpled all over instead of just where he slept. He knew she hadn't had time to arrive at her house, so he called and left a message on her answering machine.
"Come after while, if you'd like. It'll be safe. Warrick is supposed to come by and eat breakfast. You can join us. And thanks, you know. Just thanks," he said and hung up the phone. Was that the lamest thing ever, to thank her? He had meant for coming by and trying to make him feel better and for settling him down after his dreams. He hoped she didn't take it as for sleeping with him. He called back. " I meant everything, and not just the, well. Anyway, thanks for being there for me." He hung up and felt lamer than he had before. "What a dumb ass I am," he said out loud. "So much for being erudite and debonair," he thought.
When the knock came on his door several hours later, he thought it was Warrick. He had yet to put a fresh shirt on, so he opened the door in his jeans, shirtless and shoeless, to Sara. She tried to suppress a grin when she saw him.
"Is this how you always greet Warrick?" she asked. He smiled sheepishly. He looked like an entirely different man than the evening before. It was amazing what rest could do for you. She walked into his foyer as he held the door wide for her. "I thought you said it was safe. You're trying to seduce me, aren't you, Mr. Stokes." Nick blushed and chuckled.
"Let me get a shirt on," he said, walking down his hall. "Make yourself at home," he added. Sara wandered over to the couch, but looked down to where they had made love on the floor and thought better of it. Made love didn't really capture the rapacious, unthinking way they had behaved at that point. She wasn't sure it described their bedroom aerobics, either. She couldn't help but grin to herself. She was interrupted by a knock on the door.
Warrick was a little surprised to see her standing there, but not much. She must have been stopping by on her night off. What did surprise him was how good she looked. Though she had been doing much better in the last couple of months, since her blow up with Catherine, she was looking really good tonight.
"Hey girl. Good to see someone besides me here to keep Nicky company," he said. She thought again about Warrick's clothes being tossed on Nick's bedroom floor instead of hers and gave him a gap-toothed grin.
"Good to see you too," she said.
They had laughed and talked, and even Warrick commented on the difference in Nick, who chalked it up to a good night's rest. He didn't even look at Sara when he said it.
"In fact, I feel so much better, I am thinking of asking to come back to work next week," Nick said, surprising both Warrick and Sara. He did look at Sara then, and gave her a true, Nick Stokes million watt smile, which she returned.
Warrick left after an hour or so. Sara helped Nick clean up the kitchen and started to leave as well. Nick pulled her back from the door.
"Are we OK?" he asked. She loved to think that she had helped him come back in some small way.
"Yeah. We are. I've analyzed and thought, and you know what? No regrets, no looking back," she said. Nick looked doubtful. "Seriously, it was obviously something we both needed in some way. I doubt my PEAP counselor or yours would condone it as good therapy, but I feel better and you do as well."
"I slept better last night than I have since, you know, it happened," he admitted. He was glad Sara was being so logical about all of this. But then, what other way could Sara be. He hugged her tightly, proving to himself that they could be platonic friends again.
"So. No regrets, no looking back?" she asked him.
"No regrets. No looking back," he repeated. And she had left. That day, when the nightmares came, he lay in bed and thought about her warm skin and soft voice, and was able to fend the images away. But he dreamed it again, and again.