Our Beloved Tekken Characters
By BahamutZERO
Disclaimer: It's the same as before.
Chapter 11: Yoshimitsu
Yoshi was walking down a dark alley. The reasons for this are unknown. Why he would walk down an alley and why the alley was dark are two questions that, quite possibly, cannot be answered. The only thing that needs to be known is that Yoshi was in this dark alley, in Tokyo, in Japan, in Asia, on Earth, in the Milky Way, and in the Local Group. Perhaps even Yoshi did not know why he was in this dark alley. Since this story is being told from a third-person omniscient point of view, it's reasonable to assume that the motives for being in this dark alley would be revealed to the reader, but they won't. Just know that Yoshi was in a dark alley and no force in the universe could change that.
There was also another man in this dark alley. As you may guess, the reasons for this will not be revealed. How this man and Yoshi ended up in the same dark alley walking towards each other was not influenced by fate, destiny, or karma. It just happened and that's all that's important.
The man, finding Yoshi a few feet in front of him, stopped abruptly and pulled a face mask off. He revealed himself as Heihachi Mishima. Being a big business CEO, Heihachi should be at a desk doing paperwork or whatever big business CEO's do, but instead he was walking along this dark alley in the middle of a Friday afternoon meeting someone whom he did not view in the most positive light.
The two eyed each other for a moment. Why they simply eyed each other instead of speaking is completely unknown. Hell, even I don't know.
But then, as if an ethereal watcher manipulating these strange occurrences (Yoshi walking down a dark alley for no apparent reason and Heihachi walking down the same alley when he should be doing paperwork), Heihachi spoke. The question he uttered was extremely important to him but by some strange and whimsical contrast, it meant absolutely nothing to Yoshi.
"Where is the porn?"
Yoshi responded not with a spoken word but with a curt jerk of his head in the opposite direction he was facing. Heihachi's eyes lit up and he dashed over to the dumpster Yoshi had indicated, tore open the lid, and began to rip piles and piles of pornographic material out. Yoshi sighed.
"I honestly don't see why I did this for you. Don't you think you're a little old for this?" Yoshi almost kicked himself for offending the man with his use of the word "old" but Heihachi had become completely absorbed in his business; an expression of unmitigated euphoria came to his face.
Seeing that Heihachi was unlikely to volunteer any answer, Yoshi spread his wings (which strangely resembled a mosquito or some other disgusting insect) and took to the air, riding over the rooftops of the crowded industrial city. Why no one saw him, will never be known. Perhaps no one noticed; perhaps they didn't care; or perhaps he was invisible while flying (even though I didn't specifically state that as fact). Regardless of the reasons, which will never be known, he was flying and no one saw him and/or alerted national authorities. That's just the way it was and nothing can change it.
After flying for about an hour, he stopped. Again, the reason for this unclear but know that he just stopped. He looked around for a moment, changed direction and then took off again.
After flying for another hour, he finally landed at his home. His home was basically a small hut in the middle of a dense forest. He entered the hut and found his roommate, Kunimitsu, in a state of extreme anger.
Yoshi's first action when he entered was not a true action; it was more of a reaction. The sharp dirk flew through the air, spiraling directly towards Yoshi's throat. With agility not of a regular human, he dodged to the side and let the dirk fly out the door. Despite the fact that she was wearing a mask, Yoshi knew that Kunimitsu's face was completely red.
"YOU STOLE MY PORN!!!!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. At first, this meant nothing to Yoshi but then it began to dawn on him. He flashbacked.
-
"Dammit, I want this porn and I want it right now!"
"But sir, I cannot authorize any sales without express permission from the owner."
Yoshi was furious. He had a job to do. He needed to deliver some porn to that old CEO. Why he so desperately needed to do this, you can probably assume that I'm not going to tell you. But the fact remains that he needed to do it. Without alerting the clerk, he slipped a few magazines at a time into a rather large duffle bag he was carrying. With the bag stuffed full, he left the store, the clerk somehow stupid enough to not question the ninja.
-
Yoshi figured out the ordeal in an instant.
"So, you must be the owner of that porn shop?"
Kunimitsu, knowing the cat was finally out of the bag, nodded her head.
"And," Yoshi continued, "since all of the porn there was for men, I can only assume that you're a lesbian."
"I HATE THAT WORD!!" Kunimitsu lashed out with her dirk.
Yoshi could not evade the attack, but when his assailant stepped back, he looked perfectly untouched. Yoshi chuckled.
"Our accuracy could use a bit of work, I see."
Without warning, his left arm fell off and hit the floor with a sickening thud. He looked at the offended limb.
"Dammit!"
Kunimitsu lashed out again and Yoshi suddenly found himself with his right arm missing. Not showing any sign of letting up, Kunimitsu lashed out again at the armless Yoshi but he nimbly ducked aside and leapt to the other side of the room. Kunimitsu gave chase; they ran around the perimeter of the room for hours, neither of them gaining. Out the breath, the two stopped and decided to find a diplomatic solution.
"Okay," Yoshi said in between breaths. "I have an idea to settled this. Since you have a weapon and I am literally unarmed, I think it's okay to say that you should have a free hit on me."
"I see where you're going," Kunimitsu replied. "So if I miss, you win. Got it."
They two took up fighting stances. Kunimitsu, in her rage, let out another blind slash. Yoshi simply took a step back and let the dirk cut nothing but air. The two stared at each other in a moment of silence; Yoshi in smugness, and Kunimitsu in disbelief.
After that, Kunimitsu threw down her dirk and let out a horrifying scream.
"AAAGGGHHH!!! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!! I can't believe I MISSED!! AAAGGGH!!!"
Yoshi could only nod in agreement, though he wondered if she was really better off since he had departed with both of his upper appendages.
Kunimitsu finally calmed down and asked how Yoshi intended to finish her off. With that, Yoshi spun around behind her and punted Kunimitsu squarely in the buttocks. She blasted out of the ceiling and flew for three whole hours towards Tokyo (why it took her three hours to make the trip and why it took Yoshi only two will never be known).
She landed in the middle of a street in the city. For moment, she lay there, slightly stunned. Soon, however, she looked up into the headlights of an approaching car.
WHAM!!
"OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY!" Xiaoyu screamed, after having run over Bryan in the previous chapter. She spun the car in a 180 and slammed into side of a building.
"HOLY SHIT, I'M SORRY!"
She then sped off, careening over the sidewalk and barely avoiding other pedestrians. Perhaps she will one day learn to drive properly, but then again, we may never know.
=
As you can see, I took a different approach to this chapter. I just thought all the "know" and "not-know" stuff would help make the first part more interesting. Next chapter: Heihachi Mishima.
By BahamutZERO
Disclaimer: It's the same as before.
Chapter 11: Yoshimitsu
Yoshi was walking down a dark alley. The reasons for this are unknown. Why he would walk down an alley and why the alley was dark are two questions that, quite possibly, cannot be answered. The only thing that needs to be known is that Yoshi was in this dark alley, in Tokyo, in Japan, in Asia, on Earth, in the Milky Way, and in the Local Group. Perhaps even Yoshi did not know why he was in this dark alley. Since this story is being told from a third-person omniscient point of view, it's reasonable to assume that the motives for being in this dark alley would be revealed to the reader, but they won't. Just know that Yoshi was in a dark alley and no force in the universe could change that.
There was also another man in this dark alley. As you may guess, the reasons for this will not be revealed. How this man and Yoshi ended up in the same dark alley walking towards each other was not influenced by fate, destiny, or karma. It just happened and that's all that's important.
The man, finding Yoshi a few feet in front of him, stopped abruptly and pulled a face mask off. He revealed himself as Heihachi Mishima. Being a big business CEO, Heihachi should be at a desk doing paperwork or whatever big business CEO's do, but instead he was walking along this dark alley in the middle of a Friday afternoon meeting someone whom he did not view in the most positive light.
The two eyed each other for a moment. Why they simply eyed each other instead of speaking is completely unknown. Hell, even I don't know.
But then, as if an ethereal watcher manipulating these strange occurrences (Yoshi walking down a dark alley for no apparent reason and Heihachi walking down the same alley when he should be doing paperwork), Heihachi spoke. The question he uttered was extremely important to him but by some strange and whimsical contrast, it meant absolutely nothing to Yoshi.
"Where is the porn?"
Yoshi responded not with a spoken word but with a curt jerk of his head in the opposite direction he was facing. Heihachi's eyes lit up and he dashed over to the dumpster Yoshi had indicated, tore open the lid, and began to rip piles and piles of pornographic material out. Yoshi sighed.
"I honestly don't see why I did this for you. Don't you think you're a little old for this?" Yoshi almost kicked himself for offending the man with his use of the word "old" but Heihachi had become completely absorbed in his business; an expression of unmitigated euphoria came to his face.
Seeing that Heihachi was unlikely to volunteer any answer, Yoshi spread his wings (which strangely resembled a mosquito or some other disgusting insect) and took to the air, riding over the rooftops of the crowded industrial city. Why no one saw him, will never be known. Perhaps no one noticed; perhaps they didn't care; or perhaps he was invisible while flying (even though I didn't specifically state that as fact). Regardless of the reasons, which will never be known, he was flying and no one saw him and/or alerted national authorities. That's just the way it was and nothing can change it.
After flying for about an hour, he stopped. Again, the reason for this unclear but know that he just stopped. He looked around for a moment, changed direction and then took off again.
After flying for another hour, he finally landed at his home. His home was basically a small hut in the middle of a dense forest. He entered the hut and found his roommate, Kunimitsu, in a state of extreme anger.
Yoshi's first action when he entered was not a true action; it was more of a reaction. The sharp dirk flew through the air, spiraling directly towards Yoshi's throat. With agility not of a regular human, he dodged to the side and let the dirk fly out the door. Despite the fact that she was wearing a mask, Yoshi knew that Kunimitsu's face was completely red.
"YOU STOLE MY PORN!!!!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. At first, this meant nothing to Yoshi but then it began to dawn on him. He flashbacked.
-
"Dammit, I want this porn and I want it right now!"
"But sir, I cannot authorize any sales without express permission from the owner."
Yoshi was furious. He had a job to do. He needed to deliver some porn to that old CEO. Why he so desperately needed to do this, you can probably assume that I'm not going to tell you. But the fact remains that he needed to do it. Without alerting the clerk, he slipped a few magazines at a time into a rather large duffle bag he was carrying. With the bag stuffed full, he left the store, the clerk somehow stupid enough to not question the ninja.
-
Yoshi figured out the ordeal in an instant.
"So, you must be the owner of that porn shop?"
Kunimitsu, knowing the cat was finally out of the bag, nodded her head.
"And," Yoshi continued, "since all of the porn there was for men, I can only assume that you're a lesbian."
"I HATE THAT WORD!!" Kunimitsu lashed out with her dirk.
Yoshi could not evade the attack, but when his assailant stepped back, he looked perfectly untouched. Yoshi chuckled.
"Our accuracy could use a bit of work, I see."
Without warning, his left arm fell off and hit the floor with a sickening thud. He looked at the offended limb.
"Dammit!"
Kunimitsu lashed out again and Yoshi suddenly found himself with his right arm missing. Not showing any sign of letting up, Kunimitsu lashed out again at the armless Yoshi but he nimbly ducked aside and leapt to the other side of the room. Kunimitsu gave chase; they ran around the perimeter of the room for hours, neither of them gaining. Out the breath, the two stopped and decided to find a diplomatic solution.
"Okay," Yoshi said in between breaths. "I have an idea to settled this. Since you have a weapon and I am literally unarmed, I think it's okay to say that you should have a free hit on me."
"I see where you're going," Kunimitsu replied. "So if I miss, you win. Got it."
They two took up fighting stances. Kunimitsu, in her rage, let out another blind slash. Yoshi simply took a step back and let the dirk cut nothing but air. The two stared at each other in a moment of silence; Yoshi in smugness, and Kunimitsu in disbelief.
After that, Kunimitsu threw down her dirk and let out a horrifying scream.
"AAAGGGHHH!!! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!! I can't believe I MISSED!! AAAGGGH!!!"
Yoshi could only nod in agreement, though he wondered if she was really better off since he had departed with both of his upper appendages.
Kunimitsu finally calmed down and asked how Yoshi intended to finish her off. With that, Yoshi spun around behind her and punted Kunimitsu squarely in the buttocks. She blasted out of the ceiling and flew for three whole hours towards Tokyo (why it took her three hours to make the trip and why it took Yoshi only two will never be known).
She landed in the middle of a street in the city. For moment, she lay there, slightly stunned. Soon, however, she looked up into the headlights of an approaching car.
WHAM!!
"OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY!" Xiaoyu screamed, after having run over Bryan in the previous chapter. She spun the car in a 180 and slammed into side of a building.
"HOLY SHIT, I'M SORRY!"
She then sped off, careening over the sidewalk and barely avoiding other pedestrians. Perhaps she will one day learn to drive properly, but then again, we may never know.
=
As you can see, I took a different approach to this chapter. I just thought all the "know" and "not-know" stuff would help make the first part more interesting. Next chapter: Heihachi Mishima.