Rinoa watched Squall storm up the stairs of the club with mixed feelings. Part of her wanted to reach out and touch him, try to comfort him, especially considering how cruel she felt she was being to him. Another part scoffed at him, almost mocking and wondering if he felt the same amount of pain that she had been for the last there years. Yet another part just wanted to jump back into his arms and pickup where they left off the day before she left Garden, while another part wished she had never hired Garden or that it was not Squall who was sent on the mission.

It's strange, Rinoa mused. Even though it was dark and I couldn't see the audience, I could somehow sense where he was, almost like he was highlighted for me. Even after his departure, his anger still bubbled through the room and she could almost taste it. It was almost like she was feeling it herself. The feeling refused to go away after almost half a minute and Rinoa sighed, and turned to Natalie, nodding at her to begin the next song.

Been a fool, been a clown

Lost my way from up and down

And I know... yes I know...

And I see it in your eyes

That you really weren't surprised at me at all

Not at all...

And I know by your smile it's you.

Rinoa slowly looked around the audience, barely picking out Irvine's cowboy hat sticking up through the crowd. She could not make out his face, or tell what he was feeling, nor could she get any reading from the person sitting next to him, which she assumed was Zell. In fact, she could not even be sure it was Zell there, but Squall's feelings still bubbled around her, somehow. She took these feelings and put more soul into her words, hoping he could still hear them.

Don't care for me, don't cry

Let's say goodbye, Adieu.

It's time to say goodbye, I know that in time

It will just fade away, it's time to say goodbye.

I stand alone, and watch you fade away like clouds

High up and in the sky

I'm strong and so cold

As I stand alone

Goodbye, So long, Adieu.

Squall listened from the hotel lobby as Rinoa's voice echoed up the stairwell and filled the room with her rich voice. If it was possible Squall was even more disheartened by this song. The lyrics again told him that somewhere down inside her, Rinoa still loved him and still felt that love deeply, but something had happened that had made her decide, rather violently, to leave him. The fact she was saying good bye to him, knowing he was listening, yet still keeping the song sweet, mellow, and almost happy was almost as heart wrenching as the day she left. He lived through the pain once, but it left him a hollow shell of a man. I didn't know if he could live through it again.

Oh how I love you so, lost in those memories

And now you've gone

I feel the pain, feeling like a fool, Adieu

My love for you burns deep

Inside me, so strong

Embers of times we had

And now here I stand lost in a memory

I see your face and smile.

Something about Rinoa's voice pulled Squall back into the room, and he was not one to resist her beck and call, even after all the torment and pain she had caused. Slowly, inexorably, he made his way back across the hotel lobby and to the steps, where he paused for a moment.

If only she knew how her words tortured me... She is not the person to purposefully cause pain to anybody, even those who work against her or she even hates. Whenever she fought, even against Ultimecia, it was always to protect herself, her friends, or the world. Squall slowly walked back down the stairs and into the dimmed room.

Almost at once Rinoa felt his presence, slowly descending down the stairs, even before she could see his face he knew who the darkened shadow on the stairwell was. Natalie was playing solo for the moment, allowing her to concentrate on his features. The pain that seemed to be radiating from his soul hurt her more than she could fathom why. It hurt so much that even when she started singing again, she couldn't keep her mind off it.

Oh how I love you so, lost in those memories

And now you've gone

I feel the pain, feeling like a fool, Adieu

My love for you burns deep

Inside me, so strong

Embers of times we had

And now here I stand lost in a memory

I see your face and smile.

The audience predictably broke into applause again. Rinoa wondered if the audience was applauding her singing or the two angelic pieces of meat on the stage. It sickened her that so much of the crowd considered her no more than a political tool that she did not want to be. Living with and loving Squall might not have been easy, especially the day I "broke up" with him, but at least it was simple. No subtle affairs, no political currents that shifted daily.

Rinoa was not sure if it was the audience or Squall's ever foreboding presence in the room, but suddenly she could not breathe. She put the microphone back on its stand. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be taking a 15 minute break, after which requests will be taken. Thank you." Rinoa bowed slightly at the renewed applause and quickly strode off the stage.

Rinoa gazed out at the courtyard in back of the hotel from a balcony connected to the lobby. The lights lit up the flowers and water of the ponds like a miniature Garden of Eden. Trees, some with fruits on them, rose above her head, despite the fact she was ten feet off the ground of the courtyard. Flowers blossomed aplenty throughout, with bushes, shrubs, and other plants filling a lot of the void. Small cobblestone paths made their twisting way through the plants like grey veins of life, pumping humans through slowly to admire the view. Several artificial ponds lined with concrete also ate up space, with fountains spouting water at various angles and splashing down gently into other ponds. All in all, it was a paradise one could get lost in.

It was also a paradise that attracted others, and right now Rinoa wanted to be alone. She was on the balcony to enjoy the view of the orchard while being separated from the people idly strolling around. She had hoped she could clear her mind quickly, and get back into the club to finish off the night, but her center was highly elusive tonight.

Watching a couple stroll slowly down one cobble stone path, she considered the last week, probably one of the longest in her life. She had gone from a broken shell longing for the one thing she never thought that she would be able to see again, then suddenly it was dropped on her lap like a gift wrapped present. And not one iota of remorse from him.

This thought flashed through her mind just as the door to the balcony opened. So much for being alone. If I ignore him he will… Rinoa paused in mid thought. Him… Squall. It's Squall behind me. I don't even need to look to know. How the hell…? Rinoa sighed softly "Squall, go away please. I don't want to talk to you."

Squall stood silent behind her, gazing at her figure and again admiring the figure in front of him leaning on the balcony rail. She is so beautiful… Who is it that said you don't know what you stand to loose until you already lost it? Squall stayed silent considering what responses he would give.

Rinoa, on the other hand, was getting more and more nervous by the moment. "Squall…" she spoke more loudly as she turned and faced him, and stopped cold. What? Why? Can we at all maybe pick up? Or are we doomed to repeat ourselves?

Squall interrupted her before she could speak further. "Rinoa, why?"

Rinoa tilted her head softly, feigning confusion, even though somehow she knew exactly what he was thinking. Why did you leave? Why are you saying good bye to me now? Why did you attack me? Why Why? "Why what Squall?" She asked with genuine curiosity, wondering if Squall had improved his speech ability in the last three years.

Squall was not forthcoming, or talkative. Not one sound came from him, but instead he continued to stare at her, with pain etched softly on his face. And he can't even keep his eyes above my neck! Almost like he had been caught red handed in the girls dorms after curfew, Squall looked up at her with guilt written all over his face and reddening slightly in the cheeks. Rinoa smirked almost impermeably and shook her head. Still the same stupid lug. She sighed and pushed past him heading towards the door.

"Why did you leave? Why are you trying to say good bye to me now? Why did you attack me? Why…" Squall's voice stopped her cold, and she turned around to face his back. In any other situation she would have been laughing pretty hard at that. Look out Quistis; you're not the only expert Squall reader anymore. "You should know the answers, Squall. I know everything you did and everything you didn't tell me."

Squall stood rooted in place, his hands in his pockets like a statue. "You say you know everything I did. I don't believe that for an instant, or else you would never have left." His voice sounded with conviction and as he spoke, Rinoa got a flash of the ballroom of Garden in her mind. Why am I thinking of Balamb's ballroom now? Those were the happiest days of my life but…

Before Rinoa could continue this thought further Squall continued. "Do you know all the pain I suffered over 3 years? The worst day of my life was the day you left me, and I've been living in hell since."

Rinoa exploded in anger. "YOU suffered?! YOU were living in hell?! Let me tell you something Mister 'I'm the most important man in the world'… YOU are really clueless because I had to live and suffer like you, only much worse! You don't know what others feel, and you never did, nor did you care! I… I…"

Rinoa's verbal assault lost its steam against Squall's stone passive face. "Squall, I can't live like this anymore."

With that, Rinoa spun on her heels and headed to the doors with every intent on walking out.

Why did you leave Rinoa?

Rinoa's anger resurfaced as she spun around with renewed vigor. "You want to know why I left? I left because you're a cheating, cold hearted, emotionless son of a bitch! You're like a robot, doing Cid's bidding mindlessly. You … what the hell are you frowning at?!"

All this time Squall was frowning, the first facial expression he had displayed besides his stone hard emotionless mask. "I could have sworn I didn't say anything out loud."

Rinoa laughed harshly "I'm sorry Squall, I heard you loud and clear."

They stood staring at each other with silence reigning between them. Rinoa couldn't stand the sight of him any longer and turned her back on him. You don't know how much you hurt me.

Rinoa let herself shed a single tear before heading to the door a second time, to be stopped a second time by Squall's words. "Tell me"

Rinoa paused and turned around. "Tell you what?"

Squall stared into her eyes, and for a brief flash, she thought she saw pain and longing in his eyes before he reigned in his emotions again. "Tell me how much I hurt you. You want me to know right?"

Rinoa paused. Did I say that out loud? Before she could answer the question herself, Squall was answering it. "Yes you did say that out loud."

Rinoa paled slightly. "Squall… I didn't say it, nor did I ask you if I said that out loud."

Silence reigned once more as the implications of this started to pile on in both their minds. Rinoa spoke first, hesitantly. "Squall… I had a dream a last week, the night before I saw you for the first time. I was in Garden, but I was different, everything was expanded, more classrooms, the infirmary, 5 a gym deck the Quad… Selphie's stage that we designed was built. I saw the tree we planted… it was grown. And you were there under the tree like we had always talked about… And you had stubble like how you were at the club that night. If I had to guess, id say you didn't shave for 3 days, and didn't shave that morning either."

Squall frowned again, and it deepened as she spoke. "We remodeled Garden to handle the huge influx of students. It was completed 7 months ago. I don't see how you could know about all this unless you came."

Rinoa shook her head immediately. "I did not."

Squall thought for a moment. "Are you sure?

"Yes"

Squall considered for another moment. "You're right though, I didn't shave for four days before the night we met again. I also had the same dream. I was under the tree, picking a flower I had planted around it, from Edea's orphanage and then you were there, and you turned and ran."

They stood staring at each other, neither wanting to say what they were thinking. What is going on here? How come he can hear what I'm thinking? Are we dreaming the same dreams?

Squall spoke again. "I also dreamt that I was in the park near here a few nights before that. I never walked in that park until a few days later, yet I knew the details of it… and I saw you there."

Rinoa gasped lightly at this. "I had that dream too! On Tuesday right?"

Squall's brow furrowed. "Yea. What is going on here?" Squall might have asked that out loud but one word rang through his mind immediately. Sorceress.

Rinoa shook her head. "Squall, it can't be my sorceress powers. I haven't been able to read Natalie's mind and she's been a lot closer to me these last three years than you have. Besides, I haven't used them in a long, long time."

Squall turned and stared out at the garden under the balcony. "Yet you managed to hit me pretty hard with magic spells a few days ago."

Rinoa shook her head. "No, Squall, it was..." a thought hit Rinoa. "What if it's because you're my Knight? It would make sense if you are supposed to guard my body spirit and soul for you to hear my thoughts. Also, I've been feeling what I would guess have been your emotions all night. It's really driving me crazy."

Squall shook his head now. "What does this mean, Rinoa? What are we supposed to do about this? I mean, you could be..." Squall visibly paled

Rinoa's face paled with him. "You think I'm possessed because of a few days ago don't you?"

Squall whirled "Rinoa, listen, its not me it's..."

Rinoa didn't give him a chance to speak further, cutting him off with her sharp tongue. "I know what your thinking, Squall, remember? You think I'm possessed or in danger of being possessed. You're mad about my leaving you 'cause I couldn't stand you and your bastard personality. Well I have news for you Squall, I don't want you, or you're Knighthood, or anything else about you. I want you gone from this city. It started when you came into Galbadia and will go away!"

Squall was quick to jump to his defense. "Rinoa! I..."

Rinoa cut him off yet again. "I don't care what you say Squall, I don't EVER want to see you... OR FEEL YOU... again!"

Rinoa spun on her heels a third time heading to the door. This time Squall had no words with which to stop her.

Author's notes:

Well thank you stupidity. I was gonna post this story on wednesday, and work on chapter 14 over thanksgiving weekend, but i forgot the charger to my laptop. Yea that was stupid. anyways, chapter 14 is about half done, and im gonna whip myself to get it done by friday and to the betas. chapter 15 is being merged with chapter 16 because of lack of materiel and should be ready saturday, with the new chapter 16 being posted sunday. after that im afraid im going to have to break for finals, and pick up posting after the new year with several new chapters. Sorry about all the delay!

The song is from Adieu from Cowboy Bebop. Thank you to my beta Raven for finding the song for me!!!! I do not own it.