A/N: Well, we only have one more "major" character to reveal. Unfortunately, this isn't going to be the chapter where you find out who in the world Eddie is! (muwhahahahaha!)

And I have heard the response from my peers… -sigh- I will try and shake it up a bit so that it's not too predictable. However, I would like to remind people that my intention was mainly just to put the Smallville characters (which I do not own) in the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" scenario (which I also don't own). And I'm not always going to be funny. I've thought about this a lot. I may be occasionally amusing, but I'm not "Daily Show" funny by any means! Just imagine a huge grin on my face here… mainly 'cause it's my own personal private joke! So I will do my best, but be patient with me… as always!

Chapter 7

Chloe stared as Lionel lay on the floor. This wasn't exactly how she pictured a multi-billionaire acting. And over a farm boy? Plus, this was Clark. Clark of the flannel shirts and inability to be anywhere he says he'll be? How could he possibly think Clark could be an… The thought was too ridiculous! She looked around. Everyone still seemed to be in some sort of stupor, like someone had hit pause on the action. She shrugged. Well, she had gotten Pete in this mess in the first place. She guessed it was her responsibility to find someway to get not only herself and Pete but also Clark and Lois out of there. The others could fend for themselves, she was sure. She briefly wondered if Clark's immersion in what she now concluded had been liquid meteor rock would turn him into a meteor freak, but shrugged that aside as well… thinking it was too horrible to contemplate.

Lionel slowly levered his way up. Chloe was disappointed that beside some errant hair mussing, Lionel still seemed to be in one piece. He glared at the young man sitting on the ladder above him. "Well! That's no way to behave on your first day out since we apprehended you."

Clark looked at him stoically. Chloe wanted to shout at him, draw some attention to the fact that she and Pete were there and they would figure out some way to get him out of there, but it was like she was frozen. Her skin crawled when Lionel reached out an effeminate hand and caressed Clark's thigh. "But as you're such an exceptionally beautiful specimen," Lionel purred, "I'm prepared to forgive you." Chloe watched as Clark visibly shuddered and shrunk from the older man's touch. Lionel appeared not to notice and oozed around behind him, standing next to Lex. "I just love success!"

"Yeah, Dad. But are you sure about this?" Lex looked at Clark curiously. Chloe knew that he'd investigated Clark even more thoroughly than she had. He handed Lionel some weird contraption. Chloe wondered what it was until it was pulled over Clark's head. It was a gag that cinched his chin tight and effectively muzzled him. He wasn't going to be able to make any kind of sound in protest to anything they did.

"Oh, yes."

Lois moved toward the trio, her eyes burning with desire. Chloe wanted to scream and drag her away from Clark. She'd had way too much trouble with Lana before and she wasn't ready to compete with her cousin… not to mention that she was acting really oddly. "It's about time he was revealed as the freak he is."

Lana walked up and looked him up and down. "He's okay…"

"Okay? Okay!" He glared at her incredulously and dragged Clark down from his perch. Clark seemed to be pouting quite a bit at Lana's dismissal. Lionel was throwing the equivalent of a tantrum as he hauled one teen toward the other two. Chloe noticed that Pete's face was rather pale, his eyes goggled out, and Clark didn't seem to be looking that much better. Chloe tried to gather herself together. Something was going on and she needed to keep her wits about her. "I think we can do better than that! Chloe dear… What do you think about your darling Clark being an alien?"

Chloe finally laughed. Unfortunately, once she started, she found that she was having a hard timestopping. Finally she managed to rein herself in. "Well…" she drawled, looking Clark up and down. "While I have been really enjoying the briefs, Clark is much more comfortable in flannel."

"That hasn't answered my question," Lionel gritted.

"Well, it's a nonsensical answer for a nonsensical question. Clark? An alien? That just isn't possible." Chloe folded her arms over her chest, looking at Lionel with disdain. She didn't dare make eye contact with Clark.

She thought Lionel was going to blow a blood vessel. She almost hoped he did. "Well, just because you can't tell when the best news story in a century is dropped in your lap, doesn't mean that it isn't true." He stalked toward the stage again, dragging Clark behind him. Chloe thought it was odd that a muscular farm boy like Clark couldn't seem to drag his arm away from wimpy Lionel. She tried to pay attention as the madman continued. "He carries the Carl Sagan seal of approval!"

Chloe groaned as extremely cheesy music began to play. She just knew that this was going to be an ear-bleedingly painful ditty. Lionel posed himself and everyone else seemed to be breathlessly waiting for the newest musical "masterpiece". Lana, Lex and Lois started to collect the weight and gymnastic equipment that had been strewn about the room and placed them around the two men.

Lionel posed behind the microphone. "A farm boy weighing one ninety-eight pounds seems set in his place when working the ground." The crowd tittered. "But then in the gym with a terrible din, forgetting the doors, he works for his ca-ha-hause." Lana began smearing Clark's body with an extremely light green cream. Clark flinched away, which made Chloe secretly relieved. He'd said he was over her, but she had still been very suspicious. She watched green veins bulge out where Lana's hand passed and he was moaning in pain. Chloe wanted to run to him, but knew she'd be stopped before she got two steps.

"It made him glisten and gleam. He was knocked out with some green ste-he-he-he-hem... I'm a fink and quite mean! He's a strong man… Oh, honey!" Lionel held out his hands to encourage everyone to sing with him… totally assured that they would be ready and willing to do so.

"But an alien."

Lionel giggled insanely. He started prancing around the equipment. Chloe wondered if it actually was for him… like he was going to get into shape or something or if they were some sort of test for Clark. She glanced at Pete, who still looked really ill. "Take some deep breaths, sweetie," she murmured, trying to be reassuring. "We'll get out of this.

"But look at Clark. He's been kidnapped by these Luthor psychos!"

Chloe looked at the tableau before them. "We've been in worse spots. If we can work together, I think we can get out of here safely." A glare from Lana effectively shut the teens up as Lionel continued.

"He eats nutritious… high protein. He gathers raw eggs. No need to build up his chest, arms, and legs." Chloe thought Lionel was looking at Clark with lust in his eyes and thought she was going to vomit. She wished Clark would look at them so she could maybe signal him with a plan… but he seemed transfixed by the prancing elder Luthor. "With no effort… Now he really knows of my plan! In just a few days," he paused… obviously for dramatic effect and the crowd around them joined in again, "I'll prove you're an alien!"

"So now we know what he wanted with Clark all those times," she muttered under her breath. "I wonder if he came to that conclusion because of the Indian caves..."

Lex quickly came up behind her and hissed in her ear. "If you don't shut your pretty little mouth, things will go very bad for you very quickly here."

Chloe snapped her mouth shut, her teeth clicking because she'd done it so quickly. Lex had threatened her before, but never with such venom in his voice.

Lionel was totally oblivious. "He'll do bank jobs and hold-ups… Snatch a purse with a jerk."

Chloe gasped. She couldn't believe what he was singing. He was going to make Clark embark on a life of crime?

"You can cut all the tension with no hard work. He'll make me a living I just cannot withstand."

Chloe wondered at all this. At first she thought he was going to sell him for scientific discovery and make his name and fortune shine a little brighter that way. But now he was talking crime… Was Clark really capable of all that?

"Oh, in just a few days… Yeah, baby! I'll prove you're an alien!"

The applause was deafening and Chloe was shocked at what was unfolding before her. Could it be possible? Could Clark really be capable of all this? Was he really an alien? Is this the huge secret he was keeping?

A/N: So, is this adding more depth to the story? Now we don't think Clark is just some brainless buffoon created by a Frank-esque character. Now we know that he's been kidnapped and they have to escape this madhouse. Plus everyone is acting weird. Lex seems to be going along with it 'cause he can… but what about the others? What do you think?

Also, the next chapter may take me awhile. The modified song just isn't flowing into my head!

Snowbunny3, thank you so much for your kind words. I will do by best to put in some twists and turns for you. I'm trying to space it out a little bit, but I am trying to get it done as fast as I can. Thank you.

Markmark261: I'm very sorry that you aren't finding the songs that funny. I am doing my best, but I'm also trying to keep true enough to the original songs so that it would go to the music so I could sing a long. I wish that I had a more innate humor that could translate in this instance, but I guess it's touch and go. Kinda' like "Just Another Day"… Lana's story was funny and Chloe & Clark's bit was funny, but Pete & Lex's weren't so much. (And I have to agree with you about the ending of their chapter. The laughing together at the end is really out of character. I may have to fix that.)

Like I said, I'm going to try and figure out some different twists for the story, but it may be more difficult than I'd anticipated. I could tell you something here, but it would ruin my epilogue so I'm not going to… How's that for a tease:D You are right about it being too predictable if I don't put other story bits in. I'll do my best!

It is not Adam Knight (although considering how Lionel experimented on him, maybe I should reconsider) and it's definitely not her parents or herself (Although that would just be too funny, wouldn't it? They'd have to kill her because one Lana is plenty!). Keep guessing… or just wait for the next chapter when it will be revealed! Muwhahahahaha!