A Call Of Nature

'So where is the alcohol then?'

It had taken a full two minutes of forced conversation as coats were removed and hung and a further three minutes of awkward silence filled with curious looks and a range of facial expressions before Sam asked this al important question.

'Alcohol, Carter? Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?' asked Jack, silently harboring his thirst for Guinness.

'Not at all.'

'You know where it is.'

'Yes the cheap beer, but not the alcohol. Sir, if we're…'

'Ah ah now; no sirs, I'm in here too thank you very much.' Said Sally jumping into the conversation. 'And the alcohol is in that cupboard over there.'

Why didn't you just tell her where it was?

It's a human thing.

Hard to get, right? Don't you thin that you've been playing that game for too long.

Jack had no reply.

Sam had watched the expressions to go with the silent conversations then saw eyes focus on the room and what was going on, she smiled gently then moved over to the cupboard for something to quell the uneasy feeling in her stomach, and hopefully remove the equally uneasy thoughts from her mind

Bending down she opened the cupboard to be faced with whiskey and beer; leaning further in she searched for something with a little more kick. But as her fingers gripped round the neck of a bottle of tequila she heard the unmistakable sound of skin striking skin behind her.

'Jonathan.'

Turning so she was crouched on the floor looking at an ashen-faced and shocked colonel.

'What the hell was that!' he asked.

'That was a slap!' answered Sally, 'and thoroughly deserving in my opinion.'

His hand reached gingerly to the reddened skin on his cheek.

Sam giggled slightly. Enjoying the escapades of Sally and yet she was still very aware of the fact the she was laughing at her superior officer.

'Having some internal conflict over there?'

'To say the least.' He murmured in his reply.

Why did you do that?

You were staring at her ass Jack, and that was nothing on the thoughts going through your gutter of a mind

God, I could do that in peace before you came along

Well you shouldn't be doing it at all

I can't help it, look at her; it's the only thing I've got.

Sam could see a visible change in the man before her, he looked dog-tired; shoulders hunched and head drooping. She was glad that she was here to watch over him as the words of the good doctor (depression) flitted through her mind. The fingers that held the bottle captive slackened.

'On second thoughts let's forget the tequila?'

'Tequila?' asked Jack.

'How about hot chocolate?' asked Sam.

'Hot chocolate?' said Sally taking over,

Chaos soon followed in liberal amounts. Hot chocolate, syrup and marshmallows where hunted down and consumed by the curious alien. Not to mention bags of chips, frozen pizzas and ice cream. And as when Sally announced that her 'partner' had gone to sleep the real fun started. They found a small cache of girly movies (for such times as Sam was over of course) and watched 'Coyote Ugly' then sang along to the music videos once it was finished. They then found themselves looking up pictures of men on the web and compiling a list of those that were the cutest. Things were going pretty well all thing considered. That was until a call of nature.

'Arrrgh!' came a male voice from down the hall, said in such a way that could only indicate that the original owner of the body was now awake.

'Sir?' said Sam questioningly as she moved down the hall towards the voice.

'Carter! Do you know how weird it feels to wake up and be standing taking a piss?'

'Er no sir.' She said desperately trying to keep a straight face. She stayed close. Able to hear the one sided conversation.

'I don't care that you were desperate!… You should have woke me up!… Thank you but I'll be the only one who takes a piss in this body!… WHAT!… Jeez… No, you can't! … No, no and guess what NO!… Sally leave it alone…Ahhh! … If you were careful this wouldn't have happened!… Oy…'

A shaken man emerged from the gleaming bathroom, whilst drying his hands on his pants he saw the laughing form of Major Samantha Carter on the floor in front of him.

She sat with her back resting against the wall opposite the door, her entire body shuddering and shaking with silent laughter.

'You think this is funny?'

The only form of reply he received was in the form of a short sharp burst of sound form the woman before him before she slipped into her silent shakings once more, broken by attempts to breathe in.

'Oy' he said yawning and looking at his watch, '03.13 am, time for bed.'

xxx end of chapter xxx

HELLO THERE!

nice to be writing again and i hope any of you who get alerts will be plesantly surprised to see the return of this story!

this is mishy - suz will be writing the next chapter and we do hope to have this finished and updated almost weekly over the summer

thanks from the crazy scots and keep the reviews coming!