Thanks for sticking with me all this time. Your continued support fuels me to keep going! By the way, I'm changing Kai's eye color to magenta-ish. Whatever color it is in G Rev. Tyson's eyes are also the color it is in G Rev. I know, I'm so inconsistent! Anyway, enjoy.
Chapter Twenty-three
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"I can't believe you slept through the entire drive," Tyson commented as he parked on the fifth floor of the parking lot. He nudged Kai in the shoulder and received an unappreciative moan in response.
"And why is that so hard to believe?" Kai asked sleepily, opening his eyes and yawning. He waved a hand over his mouth. Tyson turned off the car and got out, coming around to open Kai's door for him.
"Because I drove all the way to the airport and back to drop Wyatt off for his flight. He'll be visiting his parents for a few days," Tyson said, stepping aside so Kai could get out. He left the fact that Kai would be living alone for the time being unsaid. He wanted to stay with him during that time and fill in as a temporary roommate, but he also didn't want to invade in on his privacy.
"Oh. Where did Tala go?"
"I dropped him off at Rei's house. He said he just wanted to let Rei know that you were all right and all. He told me to take you straight home and put you to bed, since you conked out in the car. He's one to talk—he slept through the drive as well." Tyson watched him closely to see if there was any reaction to the mentioning of Rei's name. If Kai even noticed, it didn't show on his face. The pair began to walk at a leisurely pace to the elevator. Tyson considered for Rei's sake asking Kai if he honestly hated him for what he did, but decided against it. Maybe tomorrow.
Tyson pushed the button beside the elevator and waited for the doors to open. He gave Kai a sidelong glance, then frowned when Kai looked back at him with a blank look.
"Hey, you've been kind of quiet lately," Tyson said. "Are you all right?"
Kai looked back at the elevator doors, seemingly examining the sleek, metallic surface. "I've been out of the car for all of thirty seconds. What did you expect?"
The dry sarcasm in his voice left Tyson puzzled, but at that moment the doors whooshed open and they were greeted with a couple in the corner of the elevator, sharing a heated lip lock. Kai and Tyson stepped inside, not exactly feeling comfortable talking with the two lovers shamelessly making out not two feet away from them. The doors slid shut and Kai pressed the button of the floor his room was on before leaning back against the wall.
The girl giggled for a moment as they broke their lip lock and instead began planting kisses all over each other's faces. Tyson heard Kai sigh beside him, and when he glanced at him, there was a faraway look in his eyes. He moved his hand closer to him and touched it gently. Kai looked down and watched Tyson take his hand into his own and give it a squeeze.
The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open once more. Kai set off down the hallway, his hand sliding out of Tyson's. Slipping it into his pocket, he pulled out his keys as Tyson scampered to keep up and fell in step beside him. Kai stopped at his door and paused a moment before inserting his key and unlocking it. He twisted the knob and swung it open slowly.
Kai bit his lip as he gazed into the room. Everything was the same as he remembered it. His desk sat untouched, his bed neatly spread. It had been a little over a month since he had set foot in it. He felt Tyson's hand on his shoulder and looked at him. Tyson's prodded him to go in, giving him a reassuring smile.
"It looks the same," Kai said, holding the door for Tyson.
"Well, yeah," he answered with a light laugh. Kai took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly. It really was over. He was home again, with Tyson. Voltaire was in jail and Boris was dead. He realized that he would never again have to worry about anyone from Biovolt ever coming back to haunt him. He walked over to his desk and looked down blankly. His fingers curled around the back of the chair and he suddenly shut his eyes and sniffed, letting out a shaky breath.
Tyson came up behind him and settled his hands on his shoulders. After a moment, they slipped down his arms, and Kai turned around to look at him. His magenta-colored eyes looked sad and he shook his head, brushing his bangs aside.
"Is it really this easy?" he asked softly, shaking his head again. "Can everything really just… go back to they way it was?"
Tyson swallowed. He honestly didn't know how to answer Kai's question straightforwardly, so he decided to tell him exactly what he thought, whether it was right or wrong.
"Nothing's ever going to be the same, Kai," Tyson said, rubbing his arms up and down. "And it might take a while for everything to be truly comfortable between us again. A lot of things have changed, and there's nothing we can do about it."
"I don't want everything to change." Kai moved closer to Tyson and rested his head on his shoulder with a sigh. Tyson smoothed a hand over his hair and smiled sadly at the blank wall above Kai's desk.
"They already have," Tyson murmured. Kai lifted his head and looped his arms around Tyson's neck before burying his face into his shoulder again. Tyson returned the embrace, closing his eyes for a moment. It was quiet for a while as both of them simply took comfort in each other. Tyson looked down and saw Kai toying with a strand of his hair.
"Don't worry," he said, the sparkle returning to his eyes. "So what if things have changed a little? Everything's going to be all right. You're still you and I'm still me… and I still want to spend every minute I can with you."
"Tyson, I'm going to go take a shower," Kai said, pulling back from him quickly and crossing the room to his closet. Tyson was momentarily speechless as he watched Kai.
"That was kind of sudden, but okay," he said, scratching his head.
"After that I think I'm going to bed. It's been a long time since I actually slept properly, you know." He turned around and looked at Tyson. "I hope you don't feel like you have to watch over me or anything. I'll be okay."
"Of course not," Tyson laughed sheepishly. "But you can hardly blame me wanting to, or being the least bit worried. I mean…" He let his words trail off, knowing that Kai knew exactly what he was talking about. If anything, Kai's expression hardened for a split second before going completely neutral again.
"I guess not." The tiniest bit of self-hate seeped through his words, and Tyson stood astonished before shaking his head vigorously.
"Kai, I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again," he said, a good bit of harshness in his voice.
"Talk like what?"
"You know what I'm talking about! Like you're inferior, or any lesser than you were before. I'm not going to give you any pity, I'm going to pound your pride and common sense back into your skull."
"I wasn't asking for anyone's pity," Kai said, narrowing his eyes. "And my pride is still very much intact, thank you."
Tyson stayed silent, pressing his lips together and watching Kai. Before he could say anything more, Kai spoke again.
"How could you blame me, anyway? You have no idea what it's like. You have no idea how it feels to—" Kai quickly cut himself off, drawing a ragged breath and covering his mouth with his fingers, his eyes looking shocked at his own words.
Tyson's anger fell away, immediately replaced with concern. "Kai…"
"I'd never want you to know how it feels, Tyson," he said, looking away. He swallowed painfully and shook his head, closing his eyes. "Not ever." That kind of pain being inflicted on someone I care about would be a million times worse than my own suffering. He looked up, his eyes expanding slightly as realization dawned on him.
So that's the kind of pain Tyson feels because of what happened to me… that pain that's so much worse than my own…
"Hey, Kai…" Tyson was standing right in front of him with a frown on his face. "I'm sorry if I upset you."
"I upset myself. It wasn't you," Kai replied quietly. "I just need a little time alone… I think."
Tyson smiled, worry still slightly evident in his eyes. "I understand." He slipped his hands into his pockets and looked at Kai for a moment longer. "I'll come by and check on you after work. Just get some rest."
Kai nodded vaguely, imagining how nice it would be if he could do just that. Tyson leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek before heading for the door. Kai stood still and listened to Tyson let himself out. The door clicked shut behind him, and Kai sighed deeply before trudging to his desk. Tyson was right; things weren't the same. His eyes rested on the photograph of the Blade Breakers on his desk. His paperweight was still pushed in front of Rei's face, and he gently moved it aside to see the whole picture. Gazing at Tyson's boyish grin softened his features and made a faint smile light in his eyes.
The smile slowly faded once his mind was brought back to the present. Those youthful days were long past. Kai was by nobody's standards old, but he felt beyond his years. He had never really had much of a childhood, anyway. The year he had spent with the Blade Breakers easily ranked as the most memorable time of his youth. Kai sighed again and plucked the photo from its place and laid it facedown so he couldn't see it. He turned around and headed for the bathroom.
He stayed in the shower until all the hot water ran out. During that time, he heard the phone ring approximately four times, once every twenty minutes or so. He took his time getting out and drying his hair, then put on his bathrobe and checked his messages. Wyatt had called all four times and left three messages. Feeling guilty, he called his roommate back. After Wyatt scolded him for not answering the first time, Kai sensed unease in his friend's voice. He assured him that he was fine, but Wyatt was upset that he was spending the night alone.
"What if something happens?" Wyatt asked worriedly.
"What could happen?" Kai dropped his bathrobe and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms.
"I don't know… but still."
Kai shook his head. "Tyson said he'd come by after work, anyway. I'll be asleep, Wyatt. It's pointless for you to worry."
"I know," he sighed. Kai switched the subject and asked about his parents, and they conversed lightly about his family for a moment. Finally, Kai told him to enjoy his trip and they both wished each other farewell. Kai dropped the phone back into the cradle and tugged on a white t-shirt before flopping down onto his bed. He rubbed his eyes and pushed his bangs back before curling up on his side and pulling the covers up to his chin. He sighed restlessly, hoping sleep would come soon.
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It was dark and late at night when Tyson returned to the University. Turning off his car, he took off his baseball cap and tossed it onto the passenger seat, running a hand through his thick bangs. He was planning to drop by Kai's room, make sure he was sleeping all right, and then go to his own room for some sleep. Leaving his hat in the car, he got out and took the elevator to Kai's floor.
The halls were silent and dark, and Tyson fumbled to find the key and then made a racket trying to put it in the lock. Upon opening the door, he was relieved that he hadn't woken Kai, whom he knew to be a light sleeper. In the meager light the moon cast through the window, he saw him move on the bed, and walked over to make sure he was fine. He leaned over the bed and gazed down, a frown wrinkling his forehead when he saw his lover wasn't at all fine. Kai's pillow had dark droplets staining it, obviously where tears had fallen. They were still damp, too. His hand had a good bit of the sheet scrunched into it, tightening and relaxing. He was breathing harder than usual, and the occasional moan dimpled the silence.
Tyson reached out and brushed his hair away from his face, seeing the tightness of anxiety around Kai's eyebrows. A breath escaped his lips, and Tyson could hear desperation in it. Tyson walked to Kai's desk and turned on his writing lamp to provide him with some light, then turned to Kai again. He leaned down, resting one knee on the bed, and stroked his cheek.
"Hey, Kai," he said quietly, pushing his bangs back again. "Shh, just relax. It's okay."
Kai shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. With a groan, he tossed and turned restlessly. Tyson leaned over him, bringing his face close.
"Kai, wake up," he said, louder. He shook him gently and Kai made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. Tyson took his shoulders and called his name again, and Kai responded with a string of breathless pleading. Tyson was startled, but could imagine what he was having a nightmare about.
"Wake up, you're in your bed and you're fine," Tyson ground out. "Just open your eyes!"
Kai whimpered and his eyes suddenly flew open, glassy and frightened. They focused on Tyson, who was on the bed in a slightly compromising position, oblivious.
"It's ab—"
"Get off of me!" Kai shoved Tyson to the ground, sitting up and drawing his legs to him. He brought a shaking hand to his chest, which was rising and falling rapidly. Scattered thoughts ran through his mind, putting him on edge. His stomach churned with nausea.
Tyson landed on his rear, breaking most of his fall with his hands. "Relax, I'm not going to do anything. It's me, for crying out loud!"
"Tyson," Kai choked out. "My God, I went to sleep and I started seeing Cleft everywhere and no matter where I went, he was always right there and I couldn't get away from him and then he—"
"Stop it," Tyson ordered gently but firmly, cutting off the terrified words spilling forward from Kai. "Don't recount your entire nightmare."
Kai was staring sightlessly at the wrinkled sheets, looking like he didn't hear Tyson. His voice was shaking badly. "He pinned me down on the floor and—"
"Kai, stop," Tyson ordered. He picked himself up and slowly walked closer to his distraught lover. Kai closed his eyes, sounding as if he might cry any minute. Tyson wanted desperately to wrap his arms around and hold him until all the darkness in his soul disappeared, but knew Kai would probably scream if he touched him.
"It's okay," he said softly, watching Kai's hands tighten. "Nothing's going to happen to you."
Kai moaned painfully and pushed the sheets back. "I feel sick…" He stumbled to the bathroom and Tyson winced as he heard Kai proceed to throw up everything he'd eaten. He ventured to the bathroom door, ready to lend a hand if needed, or move back if Kai wanted space. Kai stayed in front of the sink, so Tyson came closer to stand next to him.
"You're going to be okay," he assured soothingly, not letting the worry of seeing small traces of blood in the sink show on his face. Kai let the water run, washing it away. He didn't object to Tyson standing close, he just looked very tired of everything. Tyson tentatively reached out and rested a hand lightly on Kai's back, trying to give comfort.
"I'm scared," Kai admitted.
"There's no need to be. As long as I'm here, I won't let anyone touch you."
Kai closed his eyes and pressed his lips together in a dismal line, and Tyson went on.
"All that time you were the one who watched over me when we were younger. It's my turn to repay you."
Kai gazed at him, misery reflecting in his magenta gems. Tyson hesitated, then gathered Kai into a gentle embrace to which he seemingly gratefully fell into. Kai breathed in Tyson's scent, feeling his fear ebbing away slowly.
"I don't want to be like this," Kai mumbled. "I'd rather go back to the way things were when we were young… me watching over you instead of the other way around."
"Good things can come from change." Tyson wanted very much to kiss Kai, but contented himself with stroking his back. "And there's nothing wrong with needing someone to help, someone to support you just like you did to me all those years ago… in your own Kai-ish way, but that's beside the point."
"I'm glad you came," Kai said softly. "If you weren't here, I don't know what I would have done." He closed his eyes and Tyson saw a tear run slowly down the side of his face. "Probably something I would have regretted…"
Tyson's brows knitted together as a painful ache made itself known in his heart. He shook his head and hugged Kai closer, burying his face in his hair. "I'm glad I came, too," he said, his voice breaking.
Kai was suddenly aware that Tyson was crying. He pulled back gently and looked into Tyson's moist auburn eyes, filmy with tears. His face was wet where they had run down, and he sniffed as Kai touched his cheek with the back of his fingers.
"I think this is one of the first times I've ever seen you cry," he said, his voice quiet and wondering. Tyson sniffed again and tried to smile.
"Well, I don't do it very often."
"You're beautiful." Kai traced his finger over his eyebrows, then his nose, slowly moving down to touch his lips. Tyson closed his eyes, the last of his tears slipping down his cheeks, landing on Kai's hand. Kai didn't seem to mind. He brought his other hand up to lightly wipe the wetness from Tyson's features as he moved closer, until their noses brushed.
He felt Tyson's breath on his face before he closed his eyes and let their lips touch. His hands slid back and clasped behind Tyson's head, his arms resting on his shoulders, and he was aware of Tyson's arms holding him from behind. The kiss deepened slightly, but they were both content with just the gentle, lingering touch of the other.
Kai unclasped his hands and hugged Tyson close, breaking his lips away for just a moment to whisper an apology. He had been putting Tyson through a lot of pain for a long time now, what with all that had happened. This may have been the first time Tyson had cried in front of him, but Kai could imagine all the sleepless nights he'd endured, sick with worry for him. It made Kai feel joyful to know that someone loved him more than anyone had in his entire life, yet weak with heartache at the same time. Tyson didn't deserve all the grief that came with him.
"You shouldn't have to go through this," Kai said between the slow kisses Tyson was planting on his lips.
"I'd walk… to the ends… of the world… with you," Tyson said, stopping between every few syllables to brush Kai's lips with his own gently.
"It's not fair that you suffer for my problems."
Tyson suddenly enveloped Kai in a crushing embrace, holding on as if he would be lost without him. "Kai, please, don't say that. You sound like you did when you made me leave with Tala back at Biovolt… before they arrested you. Leaving you there was the hardest thing I've ever done! If you ask me to do that again… God, that broke my heart."
"I couldn't let you stay, that would have ruined your life," Kai said softly, the ache in his heart growing stronger. What if Cleft had gotten his hands on you instead of me? "I couldn't let that happen."
"If protecting me means that you have to suffer through everything that might happen to me just so I don't, then I don't ever want your protection again," Tyson said in a pained voice. "What Cleft did… it may not have happened if I had been there."
"Or it could have happened to you," Kai whispered, memories flitting through his mind. He clenched his hand into a fist and shut his eyes briefly, feeling rage wash over him.
"Kai," Tyson said softly, feeling him tense up.
"Sometimes I want to see him again…" Kai said, his voice tight with anger. "Just so I can look him in the eye and tell him that he ruined my life. He ruined my body…"
Tyson sadly rested his forehead against Kai's, clearly seeing the pain in his eyes. "With time, Kai… it'll get easier, I promise."
"It won't bring back what I lost."
Tyson could think of nothing to say in response to that, since it was the harsh truth. Kai's eyes were dry now, as he stayed in Tyson's embrace and gazed off at nothing, falling silent. Tyson felt like he could cry buckets just standing there and holding Kai, but he knew it wouldn't change anything. Crying took up a lot of energy, besides, and he remembered that it was very late at night, probably almost one in the morning. Kai shifted, then pulled back to look at his face.
"I'm not the same, you know," he said. Hurt reflected in his eyes, but his voice and gaze were steady.
"You'll always be the same to me. What happened didn't change my feelings. Nothing could."
Kai didn't move for a moment, then shook his head slightly, taking Tyson's hand. "Come on," he said, pulling him with him. "You must be tired." He stopped by Wyatt's empty bed and gave Tyson a gentle push, effectively knocking him back onto it. Tyson stifled a yawn and drew his hands over his eyes.
"You don't mind?" Tyson asked. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Kai all over again.
"No. Just go to sleep."
Tyson felt strange as he lay in bed that night. He didn't know what he had expected to happen, but he had wanted to reach some kind of breakthrough with Kai. Something to tell him that everything was going to be all right, now that they were together again. He closed his eyes and couldn't help thinking about how Kai kept switching between frightened emotional trauma and cold indifference. Kai had never been double-minded, but even the strongest people shatter under certain circumstances.
He was different.
Tyson turned his head and gazed at the other side of the room, where Kai had pulled up his desk chair to the window near his bed. He had pushed the curtains back a few inches and was staring out into the night sky. After a moment, he saw Kai lean back in the chair and draw his legs up, hugging them to himself. Tyson turned away and closed his eyes again, then turned to the side facing the wall. Kai was the one he loved, no matter what. Kai's pain was his pain, and right now he was feeling it deep in his heart.
But he would never let him go. Tyson set grim determination in his mind, vowing that he would be with Kai every step of the way, until he healed. Until he saw his smile again.
---TBC---
The nights are always rocky. But with chapter twenty-four, morning comes! Thanks for reading. You know what to do. xD Anyway, no, I haven't forgotten about Caleb and what exactly is going on with him. All will be known, in due time. And Kai has to talk to Rei eventually… they can't just keep avoiding each other. o.O Review please and thank you!