O Brother, Where Art Thou? Chapter 18: Circus Envy, a sonic the hedgehog fanfic

Ah, man, so many people like this fic! You guys, you're all too much, really!

Anyway, here is the next chapter! Please enjoy, yes?

Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic. I do own copies of Sonic SA2B and Sonic DX. Go me!

It was almost amusing, where they had ended up. Shadow would have giggled at the very least if not for two facts: One, he was hiding from Raven and those weird Chaos Blades of his, and Two -

Shadow. Did NOT. 'Giggle.'

Raven's own giggle echoed through the reaches of the vast, unlit room, emphasizing Shadow's point.

"Fi…fie…fo…fum…I smell something that I'm gonna blow up!"

There was a flash of light as a piece of equipment - weights, it looked like - near Shadow's hiding place was suddenly blown into its respective molecules.

That triggered something - a sensor, he would guess - and abruptly the lights flickered on. And thus the ARK's gymnasium was revealed in all its three football field's-length splendor.

If the idea for a true space colony had ever gotten worked out, the Gymnasium had been presented as a public meeting place, not just an exercise area. Gerald Robotnik, ever meticulous, had been planning ahead every step of the way - because of course, what single creature could possibly need all this space to run in, anyway?

'I still remember when this place seemed too small,' Shadow thought to himself as he ducked to a new piece of cover, 'Still does, a little.'

"Excellent," cut in Raven's voice, "FINALLY, someone gives me space to stretch my legs properly…Oh Little Brother! Why don't you give up this silly hiding business, and we can have a little race, just like old times."

"Bored already, Big Brother?" Shadow called back, still moving around to avoid being targeted.

"To be completely honest," Raven's tone was now calm and level as he replied, "Shadow, my boy, you're going far too slowly. What say you we finish this little debacle up with a good old fashioned game of Tag, eh?"

When Shadow peered at his brother from his hiding place, he was surprised to see that Raven was just standing around, not even looking for him. There were no signs of any Chaos Blades - Raven had used them both already, Shadow recalled - and Raven appeared perfectly serious.

Just to be safe, Shadow grabbed the nearest small object he could reach - a loose wrench from an emergency tool kit of some kind - and tossed it out into the open, before darting out from cover in a different spot.

The wrench met with a fiery, untimely demise. Shadow noted that Raven barely seemed fazed at how he'd been tricked.

"It was worth a shot," Raven said with a quick shrug, before turning to face Shadow head-on.

For a long time, the two brothers just faced each other, unmoving. To the casual eye, both hedgehogs were relaxed, but in reality they were both tensed and ready to move.

And that was when Knuckles, Tails, and the Real/Memory-Shadow stepped into the wreckage of the doors. When the echidna put his hand on the edge of the hole, a piece of steel snapped right off. Before it could caught, it fell to the floor and shattered into a dozen pieces.

The sound of the smash was drowned out by the sound of two near-sonic booms as Raven and Shadow went for each other's throats.

When the Ultimate Life Forms bounced off each other, Shadow took the opportunity to bolt onto the track, Raven hot on his heels.

The ARK was experiencing its very first colonyquake as Raven and Shadow repeatedly approached the speed of sound. Not to mention all the stray Chaos Blades and Spears that they were tossing at each other.

When before they had not been moving, now the Ultimate Life Form Brothers were accelerating and decelerating far too rapidly to keep track of, or at least by ordinary senses.

Sonic the Hedgehog was very proud to have extraordinary senses to go with his extraordinary speed. Plus there was his extraordinary coolness, but there would be plenty of time to talk about that later.

He'd completely lost track of Tails, Knuckles, and the younger Shadow after staying behind to see that rather disturbing memory. But he'd actually almost gotten all the way to the Gym on his own when he felt the rattling of the ARK take on a familiar and welcome pattern.

There was a reason they called him Sonic the Hedgehog, after all.

He was almost halfway to a sonic boom himself when he burst through the ex-doors, past the gawking trio of memory-Shadow, Tails, and Knuckles, and didn't bother slowing down at all before he threw himself right into the battle between Raven and Shadow.

The lack of slowing down and looking at the situation first was probably the reason that he knocked both Ultimate Life Form Brothers for a loop.

"Mind if I help?" Sonic asked, blushing sheepishly when he next had to help Shadow get back to his feet.

"Your definition of 'help' needs some fixing," Shadow retorted.

Raven, on the other hand, took one look at Sonic and snorted dismissively.

"I remember YOU," he said, "I don't want to kill YOU right now - you're no fun at all!"

"Well, if I'm working on 'help', then your bro's gotta fix his definition of 'fun'," Sonic commented to Shadow.

"Go away, blue hedgehog," Raven grumbled, "I don't want to play with you. My soon-to-be-vivisected Brother is faster than you are, slow hedgehog."

"Ooh, shouldn't have said that," Knuckles muttered.

"GRR - them's FIGHTIN' words, Whitey!" Sonic yelled, "Nobody, but NOBODY, calls me slow! I could run circles around you with one leg tied behind my back!"

There were a few hastily stifled snickers as some of Sonic's friends contemplated this mental image, but Sonic was too busy glaring at Raven to check where it had come from.

"Seriously, go away," Raven said.

"Seriously, shut up," Sonic countered.

"Make me."

"Stop copying me."

"What did I do to deserve this," Shadow muttered to himself.

"Shut up, stupid hedgehog!" Raven bellowed at Sonic.

"Shut up, stupid hedgehog!" Sonic yelled right back at Raven.

Raven was quiet for a moment.

"My favorite word is antidisestablishmentarianism," Raven told Sonic.

"My favorite word is anti…diss-something-something."

Sonic stumbled over the long word, before shrugging and conceding the game to his opponent. Raven let out a short bark of laughter. And everybody else groaned and sweat-dropped.

"If, at some point, you two want to fight like adults," Shadow mentioned, "I'm right here."

"And I am over here," Raven called, having bolted to the center of the track area before Shadow had finished his sentence, "But I left you two little gifts. Maybe you shouldn't look up, though."

Sonic and Shadow looked up anyway. Two Chaos Blades were hovering, one over each hedgehog's head.

The instant the Blades started moving - aimed right for their heads - Sonic and Shadow bolted in opposite directions down the track. Much to their dismay, the Blades followed after their targets at almost the exact same speed.

"WHOA! Heat-seeking energy blasts!" Sonic yelped as his Blade nipped at the ends of his quills.

Shadow didn't waste breath with words, but ducked and weaved as he skated round the track, trying to shake his pursuing Blade off his tail. But to no avail.

In the center of the track, Raven was making hand motions, directing the Blades' paths with perfect precision. He was concentrating on it so much that he didn't spare any notice for the echidna, young hedgehog, and two-tailed fox that had made their way into his immediate space.