Reversal: Recognition

(Standard Disclaimer applies as usual.)

Sora looked at the lone figure seated on the stretch of golden sand of this memorable part of the island's beach. His ungloved fingers exerted nervous pressure upon the rugged blitzball he held cautiously in front of his waist. A look of uncertainty shadowed the smile that he struggled to keep up. Sora did not know why he kept feeling unusual bothered and nervous around Riku. It was not like this before. In the past, Sora could smile naturally, not putting up a front as he did now.

No one realized that little Sora was hiding behind a mask, behaving far shadier than Riku who was blatantly reacting to the situation by hiding in the open. Unknown to his friends, and of course Riku (who was entangled in his own complicated emotions), Sora knew that Riku was avoiding him. How could he not realize that his best friend was avoiding him? Sora may be naive but he was not insensitive. He was the type of person who reacted by emotions and instinct. Thus, he could sense Riku's retreat into his protective shell. It was just precisely Sora's optimistic and innocent nature that convinced him before that everything would be fine if he ignored it. (It was denial.) However now, deep inside, Sora knew that he and Riku would never be the same again. He recognized this certainty but Sora did not know how to deal with it. So Sora, like Riku, also chose to avoid the problem in his own way: Sora decided to keep on acting as if nothing has changed. And he proved to be a better actor than what his friends give him credit for.

It was getting harder and harder for Sora to keep deceiving himself. The mask was slipping. But even now, he readied himself for the next act.

.........................

"Riku! Riku... I learnt a new Blitzball trick! Do you want to see it? "

Riku looked up from his paperback novel. Silver rimmed glasses slipped a fraction down the slope of his nose. He hurriedly pushed the spectacles up to hide his gaze. From the time Riku realized that he could not look Sora in the eye, he had taken to wearing his low degree reading glasses under the ruse that his eyesight was failing. Riku felt more secure looking at Sora through an objective frame.

Sora noticed Riku's actions and he was aware that he made his friend uncomfortable.

Before Riku could mumble a weak excuse, Sora initiated a new topic, "Ha ha... you're a better blitzballer than I am... I guess you don't need to see me make a fool of myself... ha ha... erm... it's okay... I understand. Okay, erm, what are you reading? Can I take a look?"

The older boy numbly relinquished his hold on his novel to Sora.

Guilt sheared Riku's conscience; it was followed by a dull ache in his heart. He did not like it when Sora put himself down just to ease the tension between them. Sora should not have to be sorry for the situation when it was not the younger boy's fault. But Riku still did not know how to response to how he felt about Sora.

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Sora frowned over the foreign words written on the back of the book. He had resorted using the diversion tactic to prevent Riku from feeding him yet another excuse to avoid him. He could sense Riku's imploring gaze upon his natural spikes, lowered to read the text upon the glossy back of the novel. To take his mind of the situation, Sora concentrated on reading the blurb describing the book. However, a limited vocabulary prevented him from understanding a single sentence. It struck Sora there and then, the differences between he and Riku.

He felt his eyes hurt from the burning desire to cry, but he swallowed the urge.

Using the last of his determination, Sora flashed Riku a sad smile.

"Interesting.... Erm... book. Ha ha.... I... I shouldn't keep you from it..." his voice shook under the pressure of his emotions.

Half-throwing the book into the arms of a startled Riku, Sora turned and ran. He ran away from the silver moon that shone in the horizon, in the mist of the last of the sun's golden light.

..................................

"Sora, you're back! I got the ingredients you wanted for making dumplings.... Sora?"

Sora ran past his mother and up to his room. He slammed the door to show a rare bit of tantrum. His mother wisely chose to leave her son to have the isolation he so clearly seeked.Only when Sora heard the mechanism of the lock click into place did he relax his tense nerves. He felt himself slip to end up seated, his back against the old wood of his bedroom door.

Riku had changed so rapidly while he struggled in his silver friend's wake.

Back then: It was he who taught Riku the rules of playing Blitzball. It was he who fought away the bullies who laughed at his older friend for being the "girly-boy". It was he who fought imaginary monsters who tried to hurt Riku's dreams at night. It used to be him.

But now: It was Riku who scored the winning goals. It was Riku who taught him how to calculate the complicated equations was needed to bake a cake he wanted. It was Riku who took down the last bottle of milk from the shelf for him because he was not tall enough to reach the top shelf. It was no longer him.

He clung to the worn out ball within his arms. As he stared at the roughen texture of the sphere, he realized that it was peppered with wet stains that kept multiplying. Sora was crying.

.................................

Riku took off his glasses.

His gloved fingers unconsciously played with the thin glass. Riku did not know whether it had happened or whether it was just a figment of his unreliable imagination. When he saw the gloss in those baby blue eyes, Riku felt his heart shatter. And fear overtook his rationality, making him stay concrete where he sat, not daring to chase after the boy who ran away. Shattered glass easily cut its way through the black fabric to harm the pale skin hidden within. The silver-haired boy looked down to see blood slowly stain the transparency of the shards of ruined glass.

Riku could not feel any physical pain because the emotional hurt he had inflicted upon Sora felt more painful than the throbbing of broken skin.

...................................

He stumbled as he tried to stand up, abandoning the ball to bounce off into a darkened corner of the room. Using the back of his hands, Sora wiped the tears from his eyes. His face was dried; traces that he had cried were removed. All that was left was a pair of brilliant blue eyes that shone with fierce determination. They found the illuminating light from the moon that could be clearly seen from the tall windows next to Sora's bed.

Though his voice was strained and still shook with emotion, Sora silently swore, "I will become stronger."

Sora wanted to become stronger. Only a stronger Sora could protect and lookout for Riku. Being stronger was the only way Sora knew he could stay by Riku's side.

Dcal's note: Felt that it would be unfair updating "Silver Lining" while this fic was being left on the shelf gathering dust. I can safely say that I have pushed the story to a third of completion. I hope that this chapter was not to saddening. I felt quite sad while thinking of how to describe the way Sora and Riku felt. I guess what I am trying to prove in this chapter is that Sora is not as oblivious and clueless as he had seemed to be. Banzai for Sora-chan !