Disclaimer: Anything you recognise isn't mine – god bless JK!!!
Chapter 11 – Beyond the Grave
Reminder: One moment together in heaven, and then back into my life, my death, my permanent hell.
I began to wish we had never shared that brief moment of contact.
Dreams and Secrets
For a long time after than night in the graveyard I sank into myself, becoming the Ginny of old, the girl who never spoke, the girl who was so caught up in a fantasy that she could barely tell it from reality, a girl full of innocence but even still a sense of belonging.
That girl had been lost when the diary came into my life, because it was after Tom Riddle that became isolated and I began to fight my lot in the world, and strive for a better future.
But more and more I found myself sinking into despair, and from the despair dreams began to flow, until I found myself losing all interest in a reality that would allow us to fall in love, but never let us be together.
Whilst I lived the life I could never have through my dreams, I lost all real sense of time, knowing only that life was going on, and leaving me behind. Soon I would be just another memory, another statistic, just another reason why the world was a cruel place full of pain.
Day after day I sat in my reverie, making no plans, no caring about my future or indeed the lack of one, my dreams became all that mattered to me, because they alone could bring me happiness, and make me contented.
They became a strand of light shining into the darkness of my existence, but even ray of sunlight can be blocked by a menacing cloud, and the cloud that hung over me was no exception.
In my dreams I lived a life, free from misery and oppression, a life spent with Harry in a world that could let us be together. But even in the happiest moments I would be jolted back to earth by the nagging voice that would tell me it was all fantasy, that I was in fact dead, and destined to be alone for eternity.
In these times I found myself thinking of the life and people I had left behind, old memories would resurface and on more than one occasion one particular night had remained with me.
A night spent in front of the roaring Gryffindor fire, Ron and Hermione had been together for just over six months and Harry and I had found ourselves spending more and more time together.
On this occasion we had been talking about our wishes, and Harry began to tell me about a mirror he had found in Hogwarts during his first year, a mirror that revealed your deepest desires and secrets.
Of course I had wanted to go see it immediately, I asked him to take me to the mirror, so that I could see my hearts desire, uncertain of what I desired most.
It was then that he had told me that the mirror was lost, that Dumbledore had secreted it away somewhere, saying that it did not do to dwell on dreams.
Well Dumbledore clearly didn't know anything… that one glance of a dream, could help us strive to achieve our desires, to work towards bridging the impossible.
As a child of 14 I had been told of the mirror, and I wanted to look because I did not know what I would see.
Now I fancied I would have seen a long life spent with Harry, in a world without fear or danger or pain, much like the fantasies I found myself imagining night after night.
A world where we could be just two people in love, just love and nothing more.
A world where we didn't need barriers to protect ourselves,
Where we were free to be whoever we chose to be,
A world where we were safe.
And most importantly, a world where we could be together.
The dreams consumed me and more and more I found myself returning to the one thought, it does not do to dwell on dreams…
Maybe Dumbledore had had a little sense after all, I found myself applying his worlds to my own situation. As long as I pined for my old life I would be of no use to anyone, even Cedric had deserted me after his efforts to rouse some sort of reaction or emotion out of me other than sadness had failed miserably.
The seasons passed and soon the winter was upon us, Ron, Hermione and Harry had returned to school, and piece by piece life at the burrow was returning to normal, well as normal as a Weasleys life could get.
It was as the snow began to fall over Hogwarts, that I finally saw the clarity in Dumbledore's words. He may have been referring to life, how dreams alone could not sustain you, but I saw deeper meaning…
I may be dead, but those around me were still alive, and while they lived someone had to watch over them, and while I could dream forever, I saw how fragile human life was, how any moment I could lose one of them forever.
I decided It was time to bring all my thoughts and all my plans into action, and if it took my eternity to do it - then so be it.
I needed to come up with some sort of plan of action, and in order to do this I could think of one person who would be perfect to help me. Shaking off my depression once and for all I found myself in the Hogwarts Library.
I began looking through the dusty stacks, no longer following the given pathways but instead embracing my ghost heritage and walking right through them.
It was as I searched in this manner for Jane that I overheard several conversations….
"He's got a plan" drawled a familiar voice, "My father told me; the dark lord is going to pick them off one by one"
Draco Malfoy sat with his feet on the table in front of him, his lanky form stretched out and relaxed, obviously not studying I observed.
He was of course talking to Blaise, those two had become inseparable during they're sixth year, after Malfoy had finally realised how incompetent both Crabbe and Goyle were.
While they were ideal as lackeys, neither of the burly pair offered much in the way of stimulating conversation, whereas Blaise with his ebony hair and calculating eyes was the perfect strategist, him and Malfoy combined became a force to be reckoned with.
The perfect pair, in they're own eyes at least….
A group of Hufflepuff second years came into the recess between stacks and proceeded to empty the contents of they're schoolbags onto a nearby table much to my disappointment,
I saw Malfoy playing with his want obviously entertaining the idea of cursing them for the invasion, but instead he stood up and with Blaise in tow he stalked out of the library.
I sighed... I had almost learnt something then; Draco's biggest weakness was his desire to brag to his friends, something that had helped Harry out-smart him on more than one occasion.
So Lucius Malfoy was up to something, again… Damn and blast fudge for pardoning the creep.
I glared momentarily at the giggling Hufflepuffs for interrupting just as I was about to find out something, and began once again walking through the stacks, intent on finding Jane.
Almost immediately another familiar voice caught my attention,
"I've found it, declared Hermione triumphantly patting a book,
"Wandless magic – Fact or Fiction?" read Ron loudly over her shoulder… "Codswallop" he said leaning back.
"Ron Weasley you don't know what you're talking about" declared Hermione in her snootiest impression of McGonagall
"Artemis Verinstadt is I highly acclaimed author" she continued,
"Highly acclaimed or not" interrupted Ron, "Wandless magic is nothing but a fairy story... It's impossible"
"Not necessarily" interrupted an amused voice, "Might I ask Miss Granger what your interest in Wandless Magic would be?" twinkled Dumbledore.
"Though it might be interesting reading sir" she replied meekly flushing red … Hermione had always been a bad liar.
"Very well Miss Granger" continued Dumbledore, "but I think you might fine page 342 very interesting" he continued with a smile and disappeared almost had suddenly as he had come.
"See, even Dumbledore believes in it" she hissed to Ron
"Yeah but Dumbledore believes Snape can be trusted" retorted Ron going slightly pink around the ears.
Hermione silenced him with one of her looks and began flipping through the pages as they left the Library,
"This'll do just perfectly" I heard her say to herself quietly just as they moved out of hearing distance. For a moment I deliberated over following them, finding out what they were up to, but instead I went back to the task at hand, I was allowing myself to get distracted too easily. I had to become focused on my goals.
Emerging through the nearest bookcase I grinned inwardly as I spied Jane say at a table with a boy who had his back to me. Raising a hand in greeting as I circled in closer my words caught in my throat as I recognised the messy hair and the glasses.
The boy sat talking with Jane was none other than Harry Potter.
SilvermoonLuna – more soon – please don't hesitate to review – and Darlon you'll be pleased to know I sorted out the problem in the last chappie