Reversal: Regret
(Standard Disclaimers apply.)
It was a day that could be described as perfect. The skies were clear with the sun shining brazenly among fluffy white clouds. Plus, there was a cool breeze that took away the mild discomfort the heat on such a sunny day.
Riku walked into the stadium. Instead of heading to the practice field that the other blitz ballers were gathered at, he moved silently towards the rows of empty stadium seats. As he climbed the steps, he could hear the monotonous chant of numbers to calculate the number of sit-ups accomplished. By the time he arrived at his secret spot, shouts of excitement echoed throughout the stadium complex. From his vintage point, he could see the all blitz ballers dividing themselves into different teams. The mock game was about to begin. Since it was just a practice session, the game was to be carried out on dry land. In other words, it was just a normal football game.
But Riku was not interested in the game. His eyes searched the field for the only person who would have a head of mocha brown spikes. Sora isn't there. Suddenly, the little spark of something disappeared. It was rapidly replaced by a strange and uncomfortable emotion that Riku was unable to identify. Seeing no point in remaining, Riku turned and left.
Just was he was about to exit the stadium, Riku heard a familiar voice call out to him. He turned. His blue-green eyes flashed with annoyance before turning back to carry on walking, completely ignoring Tidus.
"I saw you up there."
Riku stopped. He thought that it was a blind spot from the field. Apparently he was wrong. Tidus took lengthened strides to catch up with Riku. His hand touched the silver-haired boy's shoulders and was issued a glacial stare that convinced him to retract the friendly gesture.
"Why aren't you attending practice?" Tidus asked. For the past few weeks, Riku had been skipping all blitz ball activities. Thankfully, there were no major league games scheduled or Wakka would have a fit at having one of the team's best scorers being missing in action.
A question usually required an answer but Riku thought otherwise and remained stubbornly silent. Tidus rolled his eyes and walked in front of the other boy to see the passive expression masking Riku's face.
"We are worried, Riku."
Eyes the colour of polished turquoise flickered with agitation.
"Who are we?"
Tidus could tell from the slight sneer in Riku's voice that the older boy was not exactly in an amiable mood. Thus, he struggled to find the words to say what he wanted without offending the other boy further. "Erm, the whole crew! Kairi, Selphie, Wakka, me and... Sora."
Riku laughed. The cold, emotionless laugh sent shivers down Tidus' spine.
"So." Riku said, "Why should you all be so worried?"
Tidus hesitated before he replied, "We care about you, Riku. You have not been acting yourself lately..."
The blond boy did not get a chance to finish because Riku interrupted him coldly, "You care? I am sick and tired of you and Kairi butting your noses into my life. I don't need you to tell me how to live my life."
"Riku! Are you listening to yourself? Can't you hear how self-centred you have become?" Tidus' temper flared at Riku's callous words.
Riku titled his chin into a defiant pose, "I can hear myself perfectly loud and clear. Self-centred? I am just looking out for my best interest. Why did I have to live up to your expectations? I do as I please."
Tidus felt sad for his deluded friend, "How can you do this?"
"What exactly am I doing?" Riku asked with nonchalance laced into his question.
"You are hurting Sora! Don't you see that he needs you..." Tidus looked towards the heavens for some divine intervention or the sort to cope with Riku who was remaining obstinate. He was sorely disappointed as the skies turned grey with clouds heavy and ready to rain. A sudden flash of lightening cut through the growing darkness. The angry rumble of thunder followed it.
"Sora? He has always been the one who thinks I need him. Isn't having you and Wakka enough?" Riku paused recalling the unforgettable pain of jealousy that plagued him since he heard their laughter from the wooden tower the day he was confronted by Kairi. "I saw how you three were so close. Hugging each other and all. Sora doesn't need me when he has friends like you. And I never needed him."
"Riku..." Tidus pleaded.
The silver-blond boy lashed out, "Tell Kairi that I am not lying when I say that I don't need some kid who follows me where I go! I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone to protect me. Sora has no right to protect me!"
When Riku saw Tidus look pass him with an anxious gaze, the silver-haired boy had a sense of impending doom. Not him. Please. Anyone but him. As if on cue, rain started to fall the moment Riku turned to see Sora's frozen smile melt into a stricken expression.
Riku stood rooted to his spot as he watched Sora's tears fall in sync with tears from the heavens. "Sora... I..."
Before Riku could finish, Sora ran.
"I hope you are happy." Tidus's voice was filled with sarcasm as he shot Riku one last glare before chasing after Sora.
Riku collapsed helplessly onto the soft ground as the rain continued to fall with more and more intensity. He felt numb from the impact of pelting raindrops. All he could think of was how much he wished he could take back all the hurtful words he had said. He knew that what he voiced were the total opposite of what he truly felt. It was fear and uncertainty that goaded him into saying cruel things that were untrue. This time, he had gone too far. In trying to deny everything, runaway from everything, Riku rejected the only person he cared about. His words were harsh and Riku knew it cut Sora deeply. He saw pain fill those innocent blue eyes and fall. Maybe... just maybe... if I had gone after him... I could have taken the pain away...But Riku panicked and froze. He had no courage to go after Sora.
No matter how long Riku kneeled under the rain, it could not wash away the regret that assaulted his senses.
Dcal's note: You are probably cursing me right now for posting this very short angst-filled chapter. Forgive me. I had to pump myself with depressing love songs and sappy OSTs before I could stumble over that nasty writer's block that kept me from continuing this fic. I promise I will try to make things better between poor Riku and Sora soon.