Peyton pulled the door
to Karen's café open and walked out in a hurry. Even though
she was hoping that Lucas was following her, she never looked back to
see. But as she continued down the street, she knew she was all
alone.
I walk a lonely road
The
only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it
goes
But its home and I walk alone
She
wrapped her arms around her, trying to keep warm on that cloudy, cool
afternoon. Peyton didn't know where she was going. She had nowhere
to go. Tree Hill used to be her home, but it wasn't anymore. There
was nothing here for her anymore.
I walk this
empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were
the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk
alone
Her eyebrows narrowed as she thought about
her brief moment with Lucas. She was confused about his embrace. Her
heart believed the hug meant more then just a comforting hug. She
felt his arms pull her into him. He held on to her tightly, as though
he never wanted to let go.
My shadows the only
one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the
only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone
out there will find me
Till then I'll walk
alone
But Peyton's
doubting mind told her that it was just a hug out of pity. If it
meant more, then Lucas would have chased after her. He wouldn't
have let her go so easily.
I'm walking down the
line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On
the border line of the edge
And where I walk
alone
I walk alone
I walk
alone
I walk alone
I walk
a...
When Peyton snapped out of her thoughts, she
found herself standing in front of her mother and father's resting
place. She stared at her mother's tombstone, then at her father's.
The thoughts of Lucas quickly vanished.
She couldn't believe that both of them were gone and were never coming back. They had abandoned her. Peyton could no longer fight her emotions. She felt them flowing through her mind and body. There was so much built up inside of her, she couldn't hold it in any longer. She fell to her knees and began crying uncontrollably.
With hot tears streaming down her face, she yelled at her parents, "How could you leave me? You weren't supposed to leave. You promised me that you'd never leave me. Both of you promised. How could you…how could you lie to me like that?"
She waited for answers, but never got any. Peyton wiped tears from her face with the back of her hands. "Do you know how it feels to be alone? How it feels to watch other parents hug their own kids? Or how it feels to miss something that you can never have? Do either of you get how I feel? Do either of you even care?"
A light rain began to fall from the overcast sky. As Peyton felt the drops falling on her, she laughed and shook her head. She looked up to the sky. "You can rain on me all you want. I don't care. You already took my parents,"
Peyton looked back down at the ground. Her eyes looked at her father's freshly buried grave. There wasn't any more anger, but a sad depression. "Was I that bad of a daughter? What did I do to deserve this?"
Peyton sat on the wet ground for a few moments when suddenly, the rain stopped falling on Peyton. She could hear and see the rain falling around her, but she wasn't getting wet anymore. Confused, she looked up and saw a golf umbrella protecting her. She turned around and saw a familiar face. It was Whitey.
"Thought you might need this," Whitey said. He slowly took a knee beside her. Peyton wiped her tears again. She was glad that she wasn't alone anymore.
"Thanks," she relied.
Whitey nodded. "It's a shame you know. The good ones really do die young. Guess that's probably why I'm still around,"
Peyton laughed at Whitey's joke.
"Got tired of talking to everyone at Karen's café?" Whitey asked.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"When Camilla died the last thing I wanted to do was talk or listen to people tell me they were 'sorry for my loss',"
"Why do people say it? 'I'm sorry for your loss,'? I mean they don't understand. They don't know how it feels to lose both parents,"
"Maybe not, but I think they say it because they don't know what to say. Their hearts are in the right place though,"
Peyton nodded. "So you bring Camilla flowers today?"
"No, I just thought you might need someone to talk to. Someone to tell you that it's not your fault. Cliché as it might sound, it was just their time to go. I know all too well what it feels like to keep searching for answers that you'll never get. I also know what it feels like to be alone…push people away, even when you need them the most,"
"Yeah, I guess I have a knack for doing that. I try not too, but I don't know what happens. I still end up being alone,"
"Well, I think it time that you tried a bit harder. Let your friends in. You're lucky you know. You have a great group of friends,"
Peyton looked down. She felt guilty for not being able to let them in, but deep down she felt as though it was better off being alone because, in the end, people always leave her and it hurt so much.
"Look, I've got to get going. Anytime you need to talk, you know where I'll be," He handed the umbrella to Peyton.
"thanks," she said as she took the umbrella.
"Just don't take off without returning it," Whitey winked.
"I promise,"
"Peyton, it's good to have you back. I hope you plan on staying awhile. Maybe Lucas will start playing better again,"
Peyton stared at Whitey as he walked back to his truck. She wondered what he meant by his last words.
Haley made her way up to the roof of Karen's café. She opened the door and stepped onto the fake lawn. She spotted Lucas near the barrier at the edge of the roof looking out over Tree Hill.
"Whatever you do, don't jump," Haley joked as she tried to lighten the mood. Lucas turned his head and gave her a half smile.
"Hey, Hales,"
"You up for a round of nine?" she asked as she motioned to their homemade mini putt course.
"Nah, not right now. Some other time?"
"Yeah," She stepped beside Lucas and leaned again the wall too. "So what's going on in that brooding head of yours?"
Lucas let out a breath of frustration, "I don't know what to do Hales. I've waited all this time for Peyton to come back so I could explain everything and give us a second chance. And now that she's here, I can't tell her,"
Haley nodded, understanding what he meant, "Because she's got enough to deal with right now and you're afraid that she'll just push you away. But can I ask you something?"
"Yeah,"
"Regardless of this situation, do you want to tell her?"
"More than anything, Hales," Lucas answered without any hesitation. "Do you think it's selfish of me to ignore what she needs and tell her?"
"No. What she needs is you, Luke. She needs to know that you've always loved her and never deserted her. Lucas, even if she pushes you away, don't let her cause she needs you more than ever right now,"
Hearing Haley's thoughts comforted Lucas. He thanked Haley by giving her a hug. Haley hugged him back before pushing him away to look straight into his eyes. "Go. Go find her,"
Lucas looked at Haley, still unsure. Haley nodded her head, letting him know that it'd be OK.
