The 'Ron Loves His Shoe' challenge guidelines:
1. Ron has to seriously be in love. The rest of the characters/story can be insane, but Ron has to really be in love.2. The following characters must be in the story and do the actions required.
A) Harry and Hermione. They have to want to help him.
B) Professor McGonogall. She has to want to stalk him in hopes of figuring our why he's obsessed/in love with his shoe.
C) Dumbledore. He has to turn up at all possible moments, offering sweets.
D) Snape. He has to laugh himself silly everytime he sees Ron.
E) The Weasley twins. They must want to study Ron in hopes of developing a new WWW product.
3. The following items must be mentioned or used:
A) Homework
B) Pills (it can be drugs or prescription
C) Trousers/Pants (Lots of them. Seriouslys, LOTS of them.
D) Designer sunglasses.
E) A camera.
F) Tissue paper. The kind you'd find in a bag that you give someone.
G) Curtains. Any kind of curtains.
4. It must take place at Hogwarts in fifth, sixth, or seventh year.
One comfortable, sunny afternoon in the early October month at Hogwarts, Ron Weasley sat on his four-poster bed, carefully tying his shoe.
Ron was always especially careful with how he took after his shoes. He always rolled up his trousers to his knees when he did it, just so they wouldn't get in the way. He made sure each bow was even in size and length and that the strings hanging from the bow didn't get in the way of his shoe's sight.
He wasn't exactly sure if the shoe had sight. But the little metal-clad holes near where the tie went would suffice to his imagination for the time being.
He had received the shoes as a gift in the beginning of summer. He'd been growing so much that hardly any shoes fit him anymore. These, however, were beautiful. Dark brown with black laces, a soft, leathery cover and a thick but not too flashy of a tongue. He loved it, and had named it Jessariahlanarachel.
At first, Ron had been convinced that he had to keep their love in secret. Jess loved him as much as he loved her, he knew it. She didn't say much, but that was how he liked them. Mysterious but dead sexy.
And now, that sunny morning previously mentioned, Ron had decided to expose their relationship. Once the shoe was secured, he got to one knee. Slightly uncomfortably, Ron reached down and kissed the shoe.
"Don't listen to what they say. Just know we love each other and leave it at that," Ron assured Jess, who said nothing. He smiled reassuringly. "You needn't worry. Everything is going to be fine."
Confidently, he strode from his dormitory and down the steps, walking far too much like Percy had when he had become Head Boy.
Harry and Hermione looked up from the sofa, having been waiting for Ron to come down.
"What took you so long? All you had to do was tie your shoe," Harry pointed out, standing up.
"Oh, Jess? Well, she's a bit picky as to the bow size of the tie," Ron said carefully, thinking of this as his first step towards exposing the relationship.
"Who's Jess?" Hermione asked, picking up her bookbag gingerly and pulling it onto her shoulder.
"Oh, you haven't met her?" Ron asked curiously, tilting his head.
"No."
He placed his foot carefully onto the side of the couch, displaying Jess in all her beauty.
"Jess, this is Hermione. Don't be shy, she won't bite."
Hermione blinked. He couldn't be talking about his shoe…could he?
A grey haired man with half-moon glasses and a long beard popped up in the fire.
"CANDY, ANYONE?" it shouted, holding out dozens of sloppily wrapped goodies.
Harry, who was beginning to think this morning couldn't get any weirder, led his two friends down towards the Great Hall.
"Be careful!" Ron growled. "Jess doesn't like to be dragged around like that!"
Hermione just blinked, staring at the shoe on Ron's foot. When they finally reached the Great Hall, Ron slipped off his shoe and placed it in the empty seat beside him.
"Ron, are you all right?" Harry asked, glancing over the table at the shoe.
"Of course," Ron said casually. He leaned down to the shoe, stroking its side. "Would you like some pumpkin juice?"
"Ron, are you stressed?" Hermione asked quietly.
"Why would I be?" Ron replied jovially, pouring some pumpkin juice into a glass for the shoe beside him.
"I dunno. Didn't finish your homework or something," Hermione chanced, eyes still wide as he dished up a plate for the shoe.
"I finished it," he shrugged. At that moment, a figure appeared behind them. The same one who had appeared in the fireplace that morning.
"CANDY, KIDDIES?" he offered manically, holding out the handfuls of sweets.
Ron, shocked, had spilled pumpkin juice all over his trousers.
"My trousers!"
"Your trousers?" Hermione repeated.
"Yes, my trousers! I've just spilled on them!"
"Just go change them," Harry suggested, eyeing Dumbledore suspiciously. He had disappeared to go on to other students.
"Jess really likes these trousers, and, well, since she was nervous about everyone finding out about us, I told her I'd wear these."
Hermione just blinked.
"Ron, do you take any sort of pills in the morning?" Harry queried, pulling out his wand.
"No," he replied, eyeing his friend like he was a hag wearing designer sunglasses.
"Oh… Want me to do a Scourgify on your trousers?" his bespectacled friend asked, raising his wand.
"Are you mad? What if you messed up the fabric?"
Hermione rubbed her eyes, trying to wake from some horrific dream.
At that moment, Colin Creevey passed by. Around his neck was a giant camera, hitting his chest with each step.
"Oy, Colin!" Ron called, and the fourth year boy turned.
"What?"
"Mind taking a picture of me and Jess?"
"Who's Jess?" Colin asked, preparing his camera.
Ron didn't answer, just held up the shoe near his cheek and smiled like a Cheshire cat.
Colin looked like Ron had gone mad, but figured it was some sort of joke. He took the picture and promised the red haired boy to have it to him the moment it was developed.
"We've got Potions first," Harry informed them, looking over the schedules.
"This is the big step, Jess," Ron said quietly to the shoe. "Everyone's going to be watching us this time."
"Come on, we'll be late," Hermione muttered, standing up and leaving her breakfast untouched.
They waited nearly five minutes for Ron to put the shoe back on "just the way Jess wants it" and then headed off.
Once they entered the classroom, Ron took his normal seat and slung his bookbag over the chair. Next, he slipped off his shoe and placed it on the desk.
After the students had piled in for the most part, Snape stalked in. He passed up the trio's desk, but did a double take and stepped back.
"What's the meaning of this, Mr. Weasley?" he asked, holding up the shoe. Ron looked murderous.
"What do you think it is?" he snapped, snatching Jess back and holding it close to his heart.
"What will you take off next, your shirt? Merlin forbid," the teacher snarled, looking dangerously close to taking off points.
"No, this is Jess. My girlfriend."
Silence spread throughout the class. Each and every student looked like Ron was mental.
"Come again?" Snape gasped, staring at Ron with the same expression the others sported.
"You heard me."
As if on queue, Snape burst into a tyrant of laughs. He clutched his stomach, leaning onto the desk for support as he threw his head back, laughing so loud that the sound echoed off of the corridors. When he finally calmed himself down, tears of laughter were streaming down his pale cheeks. He hurriedly wiped them off, giggling a bit more before going to the front of class.
Every few moments, Snape would glance at Ron and giggle hysterically. He sounded very much like a little girl, but nobody would tell that to his face. Ron was looking angry, assuring and reassuring Jess that he wasn't laughing at her.
Later that day, the three were walking down the hallway. Ron, with a bit of a limp, determined to not put too much pressure on the foot that Jess was on. He even had a change of shoes for Care of Magical Creatures. No way was Jess going into the dirt with him.
"CANDY, ANYONE?"
The bearded old man bellowed down the hallway. Professor McGonogall patted his back, accepted a candy but did not eat it and shooed him down the hallway.
She saw the trio and immediately started for them, stopping along side them.
"Mr. Weasley, may I speak with you a moment?"
Ron turned to her, shrugging and giving a wave to his friends before walking over to her.
"Yes?" he asked, taking a glance down at Jess.
"I heard…from Professor Snape that you were claiming your shoe to be your girlfriend."
Ron nodded.
"You do realize that shoes are inanimate object incapable of emotion, don't you?" she asked stiffly, narrowing her eyes behind her square shaped glasses.
"You're hurting her feelings!" Ron bellowed, gingerly removing Jess from his foot and holding her to his chest. "Don't listen; just do as I told you…"
He took off down the hallway, at an odd pace due to one foot having a shoe on and the other not.
McGonogall, however, was curious. How on Earth could someone fall in love with a shoe? Deciding to investigate, she hurried after him.
Ron reached the Gryffindor Common Room, catching his breath before entering.
He looked down to the shoe in his hands, smiling a brief but pleasant smile. Perhaps he should propose to her. He loved her enough.
Sighing affectionately, he entered the common room, avoiding the gazes of others and going up to his dormitory. Harry was in there, along with Neville, and the two were engaged in a dull game of wizards chess.
"Oy, Ron, have you seen my brown trousers?" Neville asked, looking up from the game. In the moment, Harry switched a few pieces to his advantage.
"Brown trousers? No. Jess?" Ron asked, looking down to the shoe. Nothing. "I haven't and neither has Jess."
"I almost forgot, you got a letter. It's on top of your trousers there on the bed," Harry informed him without looking up from the board.
While Neville tried to make sense of why his knight was almost all the way across the board, Ron went over to his bed and lifted the letter.
He opened it, only to have a picture fall atop the trousers. It was of him and Jess, a beaming smile on his face. Jess remained motionless.
"You're so photogenic," Ron commented, stroking the shoe before pinning the picture carefully to his wall.
There was a knock on the door. Without waiting for a reply, Fred and George Weasley walked in. They offered brief smiles to the members of the room before crossing over to Ron.
"Ron," Fred began.
"We've heard a rumor."
"Apparently, you've fallen in love—,"
"with your shoe,"
"I told George it couldn't be,"
"But naturally, I didn't believe him,"
Ron looked up from stroking Jess.
"She's not just any shoe," he said defensively, and the twins gaped.
"I know you've always been in our shadow," Fred continued.
"But this isn't funny--,"
"It's just weird."
Ron shook his head. George and Fred were always finishing each other's sentences.
"What if Mum bought you a nice pair of trousers? Would you fall in love with them too?"
Ron narrowed his eyes. "Jess isn't just any shoe. She's amazing. And I wouldn't cheat on her with a pair of trousers."
The twins looked thoughtfully at their brother for a moment before nodding simultaneously.
"We wish to take you under research," George began. "If we can find out the source of your inanimate love, we can channel it into a joke."
"So the eater will fall in love with the nearest inanimate object."
The twins grinned mischievously.
"No!" Ron snapped. "I'm not going to let you get in the way of our love!"
The twins looked absolutely flabbergasted. Ron shooed them from the room, unaware of a cat having slipped in when the door was left open. He also didn't notice her odd markings, like rectangles, around her eyes.
The boys settled into bed, Ron cuddling Jess close to his chest.
The cat, who also happened to be Professor McGonogall, hopped onto the nightstand. In the dead of the night, she studied the picture of Ron and Jess hanging on the wall. When she had speculated every detail of it, she found his other shoe, Jess's twin, and observed it. It wasn't unlike any other shoe, looking new. She supposed Ron may have been so attached because he wasn't used to having new things. But that much? It was odd.
When one of the boys woke and opened the door to head down the breakfast, she slipped into her classroom and copiously created notes on every detail of her night's stay in the 5th year boy's dorm.
Ron woke, stretching and looking over to Jess, who was 'sleeping' soundly on the mattress. A glazed look came into his eyes as he carefully adjusted the tie so it would be to her preferences.
"Ron, you up?" Harry asked, hoping Ron was over whatever had come over him the day before.
"Yeah," Ron grunted, standing up and bringing Jess with him to his dresser. He retrieved some trousers and other clothing items, laying Jess gingerly down with her twin and headed for the showers.
Once he was prepared for the day, he slipped the twin on and then carefully put Jess on. Everything was out in the open now, so he had nothing to worry about.
After breakfast, they went to Transfiguration.
Professor McGonogall crossed over to the trio's table on numerous occasions, seeming to concentrate on Ron or the shoe placed on his desk.
Finally, she retired to her desk, when an idea popped into her head. A manic smile on her features, she transfigured a desk item into a pair of shoelaces, hiding them from view of the students. After a few difficult spells, she colored them brown and put a charm on it allowing her to see it anytime she wished, with a wave of her wand. She could see what Jess was doing, and why Ron loved his shoe so much.
So that evening, she carefully left a shiny gift bag on Ron's bed, lying next to a pair of his trousers that were folded neatly.
When Ron arrived at his room, he laid Jess gently down on his bed and looked curiously at the bag.
"What's this?" he asked, mostly to himself as he reached out towards the bag. After removing a bit of tissue paper which he laid atop his folded trousers, he discovered a pair of dark brown shoelaces and a card.
"Look, Jess! A new pair of laces for you! Let's see who they're from," he said eagerly, ripping open the card.
To Ronald Weasley and Jess,
Congratulations on your relationship. I do hope you both are well. I wish the best! I apologize for my behavior in the corridor that day, and hope Jess will forgive me.
Professor McGonogall
Ron trusted that their Head of House wouldn't do anything to upset his happiness, so he quite gingerly laced the new shoelaces into Jess, giggling as he did so.
At last, he had finished. Smiling at the perfection, he lifted Jess and carried her down to the common room to work a bit of homework. Perhaps Jess could help him with a bit of it.
"Hey Ron, nice trousers!"
He smiled at a second year girl who was giggling furiously, blushing crimson. She waved, and he nodded a thank you before heading to the table Harry and Hermione were at.
"Hello," Ron said, sitting down and placing Jess upon the table.
"Ron, is this some sort of joke?" Hermione snapped angrily.
He looked oddly at her. "Joke?"
"This whole shoe bit. Very funny, so quit."
"You're jealous, aren't you? Jealous of what I and Jess have! I can see it! Jealous that she got to me first!"
Harry chuckled to himself.
"What's funny? WHAT'S FUNNY?"
Near him, a bearded man appeared, tilting his oval shaped head to the side. "Who's yelling? I'm the one that does the yelling."
"Sorry Professor Dumbledore," Ron muttered.
"CANDY, ANYONE?"
When no one replied, the headmaster looked satisfied. At least he had been the one yelling. He swept from the room, the curtains blowing from the movement of his neon green cape.
"Look, Ron, I just think it's odd. You really should take some pills."
Ron glared at Harry, lifting Jess off of the table and rushing from the room.
He rushed into the hallway, bumping right into Professor Snape, who giggled hysterically. He clutched his stomach, tears of laughter pouring down his ugly face as he burst into more laughter, echoing along the halls. Ron glared, shoved the professor, and continued on.
McGonogall watched with stunned silence. Ron truly loved the shoe, and was willing to lose his friends for it. This was like reading a story, watching the true love between man…and shoe.
"Professor?" squeaked a student at the door, hoping not to intrude. But she needed help with homework.
"SHUT UP!"
The girl scurried from the room as fast as she could.
Two months passed. It was the day before Winter Break, and Ron's relationship with Jess had become so intense that people shrugged it off as a very regular thing. He didn't spend much time with Harry and Hermione anymore, as they would only question his happy relationship.
And there, before all the school one day, Ron proposed.
With a bit of nervous glances and wondering stares, people began to clap and cheer loudly. Jessariahlanarachel was soon to be a Weasley. And Molly couldn't be more proud.
Snape, however, laughed so hard that he couldn't breathe and died.