--Beyond the Grave--
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise isn't mine – god bless JK!!!
Beta Reader: Sir Darlon – big thanks I couldn't do this without you!
Chapter 18 – Beyond the Grave
Reminder: Cedric meanwhile grasped at the one straw we had remaining,
"Godric came from the Welsh moors? Well there can't be that many moors in Wales, it's all mountains"
-- Broken Dreams--
I sat in the darkened common room, the only source of light the glow of the flames that flickered in the grate, I fancied that if I still could feel, the flames would be burning my face, and possibly even snatching my hair and creating a true fiery mane homage to the metaphor that people often gave it.
Instead I felt nothing, except perhaps the coldness inside. A coldness created by a sense of failure and loneliness.
After two weeks of searching for Godrics Hollow I was no closer to my destination, indeed it seemed further off than ever, my journey loaded with obstacles beginning primarily with the un-scalable block wall that I found myself facing now, I had exhausted all options and followed all avenues, and there was still no trace.
The moor the friar had mentioned turned out to be a bad lead after all, and it was only after hours of pouring over maps of Wales that I realised that it didn't have any moors as such, well not moors vast enough to be classed as the moors, I was starting to wonder if Godrics Hollow was indeed in Wales after all, the books all said it was, and books couldn't be wrong right?
It was times like this that I really could have done with Hermione and her unsurpassed research skills.
As if she had heard my thought the portrait to my left swung open, and I was surprised to see Ron Hermione and Harry clambering in. I stood up to face them wondering why they were out so late at night and remembering the last conversation of theirs that I had overheard.
The firelight reflected in Harry's glasses as he looked directly at my position.
"Ginny?" he said quietly and then louder he rushed towards me,
"Ginny it's you isn't it!"
Ron and Hermione both swung around open mouthed, and Hermione voiced uncertainly
"Harry there's nobody there"
Harry swung around to look at them and then swung his head back to me, "It's you isn't it Gin, I can see you" he said quietly,
A riot of emotion overtook me and I felt a tear make its way down my cheek, perhaps I was wrong perhaps it had all been some nightmare, but somehow I know it was real, and I couldn't work out why he could suddenly see me. I sat down not knowing what to do what to say,
"It's me Harry, I" my lip trembled uncertainly, "I'm dead" I whispered, this seemed to be the wrong thing to say, because he looked down at his hands wringing them together
"Harry? Are you saying you can see my sister?" Ron's voice interrupted the silence
Harry at looked at him and turned back to me, "Why can only I see you" he said in the same detached voice,
"I don't know" I whispered back longing to reach out and touch him and quell some of the turmoil I could see in his eyes, and ignoring my better instincts I reached with my hand and he did the same, but as our fingers would have met my hand passed through it leaving him clutching at air, and me thrown into another fit of memory
I crawled backwards through the mud, as the rain washed down in torrents, hitting my face and hiding any tears that would have otherwise shown. The shadowy figure stood above me wand raised as if taking aim to perform a spell, and fear coursed through me as I realized and spells made would be directed straight at me. "Why? Who are you?" I yelled, and then more scathingly "Another lapdog doing his 'masters' bidding?" the figure reached out a hand at that one and struck a blow across my face, but even now the face was shrouded in shadow, and although I was almost certain it was somebody I knew I could not identify them.
I'm not sure why I thought I knew them, perhaps it was a particular smell that tinged on the edge of my senses, but either way it was something I had smelt before, something familiar to me, that I realized I could not place. I backed away further struggling to get to my feet and sending a frantic glance at my surroundings, trying to see my wand.
"You shouldn't have messed little girl" came back a voice low and gruff, a voice that also had a tinge of familiarity, but sounded like its maker had attempted to disguise their own natural tones somewhat. "What made you think you could protect me, what make you think that I would need your protection?"
I realized that the
person in front of me was wearing a hood, another faceless death eater, another
mindless minion, the idea caused hot blood to run
through my veins.
"Did they tell you I'd be easy to beat"
I screamed in fury "did they tell you that the little girl would go quietly" I
rose to my full height making what I assumed was an intimidating pose.
as the shadowy
figure stepped towards me and let out a hollow laugh I took my opportunity.
Calling up every ounce of determination I struck out,
determined to cause as much trouble as I could, determined not to go quietly.
"Not such a weak little girl after all" I laughed with a madness that seemed to have consumed me, all logic and intellect gone and in its place nothing but a wild animal with a shock of red hair.
I threw myself against my aggressor and the hood fell back to reveal raven black hair …hair black as ebony, hair that seemed to refuse bitterly to stay flat. Hair that I had seen brushed flat without success hundreds or even thousands of times.
I blinked, my eyes must have been playing tricks on me, its only hair, and we've been fighting, and anyone could have messy hair. But even as I told myself this I felt a sinking feeling in my gut.
The figure reached for the wand that I had dropped with reflexes that put my own training to shame and as I scrambled backwards a sense of horror overwhelming me the figure turned to face me snatching the featureless white mask away as it did so.
The face was still in shadows, but the height, the build, one I had watched so many times, yet still I convinced myself that I must be wrong, that what was happening was impossible.
It was as I heard the unmistakable chuckle, and watched as the wand hand raised that a flash of lightning tore through the shadows and momentarily caught the features of my attackers face lighting the cheekbones that I had etched into memory, the lips that I had wanted to brush against mine from the moment I saw them.
It was as I heard two words barely more than a whisper that my last remainder of hope vanished.
And as the eerie green light impacted with my chest and I fell to the ground two startlingly green eyes and a lightning shaped scar burned itself into my memory.
I snapped out of my previous vision, and turned accusing eyes on the boy in front of me, and with a fury I had never known I turned on him "you" I said, and glared ready to attack, if only I could.
"Ron, get away from him" I yelled, "Harry Potter is my murderer"
"Ginny" came his voice frantically calling, and I realized Harry could no longer see me.
"Ginny where did you go?"
I backed away, wondering if he had heard my final words, wondering if he realized that I knew he was my murderer. Something nagged lightly at my mind, a little voice repeating over and over again, it couldn't him, Harry wouldn't have done it, and he loved me didn't he?
I ignored the voice in my head and locked it away inside me, along with any feelings that I might have held for Harry. The silver thread that I had felt so often between us pulling us together now broken with the realization that the person I loved, the person I thought loved me had killed me, and was now spending a lot of time with my own family.
The absurdity of it all occurred to me as well, Only days ago I had dispelled the thought that Harry could have attacked me as pure paranoia, and now, I let out a hollow laugh that held no real cheer or warmth, now my nightmares had come true and my knight on his white horse was really the monster coming to get me.
I sent one more sideways glance into the fire besides me, and imagined the last of my feelings for him burning away with the embers, and dissolving into the ash that would scatter on the wind.
"But you didn't see her face" I looked at the person in front of me, no longer recognizing him or caring for him, instead I felt repulsed, how could he have gone on the way he did, spoke of love for me, and then be my attacker. Even after my death I realized, for he had spoken at my funeral as one who really cared, and on occasion seemed totally stricken with my demise.
It now occurred to me that he was covering his tracks, who would ever even consider the boy who lived the boy who spoke of his love for me, the boy who lied. And the tears of loss were they really nothing but tears of guilt because he was tearing apart the only family he had ever had?
I felt like I no longer knew anything, I could not trust my emotions, because they had led me once again in a downward spiral, but this time, Ginny Weasley wasn't going to fall for it, this time I would not be beaten, I would not stay down, I had previously vowed to help Harry, leave him so he was never alone and now, everything I had hoped, and desired, everything of which I dreamed, was broken.
[A/N new chappy for you, don't panic and don't stop reading!! I know it's a little out there, just bear with me ok!! I had a lot of difficulty writing this one hence the large delay, now the worst of it is over it should be more frequent here on in!! Extra big thanks to Darlon who helped me work out my final plot as well!!!! Got it all in head now people, its just a case of getting it down on paper!! Many thanks to all my reviewers, keep em coming!- SilvermoonLuna]