Disclaimer: So, I don't own FMA. Although I want to own Roy and Ed!
A/N: Okay I'm terribly sorry for the once again very late update. Stuff happens but that's still not a good excuse, for me anyway. This is the last chapter! YAY! There are no warnings aside form the language. There will be another A/N at the bottom of the story so read it please. It's just a few things to be aware of XD! But anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this story. I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you!
Oblivious
Roy did not see hide nor hair of Ed until the day before he was to leave for Xing. Ed had ordered Hawkeye to deliver his last reports for him justifying this with excuses regarding the amount of work he had to do before he left. Roy had known better but let it slide anyway. He had to pick his fights very carefully right now. He now had less than a day to convince Ed to stay and if he badgered Ed about the whole ordeal with Hawkeye it would surly make it worse. Mustang already knew that if Ed was to choose not to go things could be easily arranged to allow him to stay. So that wasn't the problem. The problem was that Ed wanted to go.
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Surprisingly enough, as Roy was fulfilling his duty of being the last to leave the office (which was a very unusual occurrence for the Colonel) Ed walked into his office. Roy was shocked that Ed even came in. Even more surprised when Ed had called him by his first name.
"Roy"
"Uhhh… yes." Roy replied stunned as he looked up at him. You could easily tell he was distraught.
"I just wanted to tell you goodbye. I'm sorry things didn't work out. There was a lot said that I think damaged a lot of what we would have had. There is a part of me that forgives you and a part of me that don't. I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt you so I believe that this is probably the best for us both."
Roy sighed deeply.
"I don't entirely agree with you. Yes there were things said that probably screwed everything up but there comes a time where you have to chose whether or not you are going to try to fix it." Roy stood up and walked over to Ed.
"You have to try to fix things sometimes. You can't just write us off. So much happened in such a short period of time and I just think we need time. If you go away now, you are not giving us a chance to work things out." Roy said.
"Don't put this on me! You don't know how badly you hurt me. You see, I never thought that you would. Never. You were the only person that I was able to go to. You were the only person who I trusted not to hurt me. But you did."
"And I'm sorry for about that. Do you actually think that I meant to hurt you? After everything you've been through, you think I wanted to hurt you?"
He said as he grabbed Ed and pulled him close to him.
"I love you Ed and I'm sorry for what I did. I can't go back and change what I did. I can only prove to you how sorry I am. What do you want me to do?"
Ed pulled away from him. He stared at him so intensely.
"Why do you keep asking me that? I don't want you to do anything. You should have figured this out along time ago. I don't want anything from you besides what you are willing to give. Maybe I should start asking you these questions. What do you want from me? More appropriately, what do you expect me to do? Do you want me to stay and just be miserable because I have to see you everyday?"
"Of course I don't want you to do that."
"Good, because I can't do that. I have given you so much more then I have given anyone in my life. But I will not give you the little bit of self-respect that I have left. I will not sit here and play like I'm happy when I'm not. You are worth more then that. You will be happier when I'm gone. Just look at it this way. You will not have a handicap with you on your way to the top."
"You are not a fucking handicap! You are the only person that I have ever felt comfortable with! There has never been anyone, ever, that has completed me that way you have. I don't understand what the hell it is going to take to get you to fucking realize that you are not just something to me!"
Roy had finally lost all the control he had left in him. He was simply put, freaking out. Ed backed away from him. He had never seen Roy this way and it slightly frightened him.
"I have tried to tell you that I don't know what I'm going to do with out you. You are not a toy to me. If this is what loves feels like then you are the only one that I have ever loved. God why don't you just listen to me!"
"Roy." Ed said in a low voice.
"No you aren't listening to me!"
"Roy! Please calm down! You're freaking out!"
Roy sighed and slid down the closest wall into a sitting position. He sat there with his head in his knees. He could of continued to tell Ed why he needed him to stay. He could have gone on for hours.
Ed walked over to him slowly. He sat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulders and pulled Roy towards him.
"Come here." Ed said. Roy let the young man pull him close.
"You will be ok. I know you will. You did just fine without me before you can do it again." Ed said as he held Roy.
"That's the thing Ed. People change. Once someone has been in your life for so long it's hard to go back to the way you were. I don't want to go back to the way I was. I am so much better with you."
"No, I just brought out the best in you." Ed snickered which made Roy laugh.
"This can't be it, Ed. It just can't. It doesn't seem right."
"Things don't always go as planned. You'll be fine, given time."
They both sat there for a little while longer just enjoying each other's warmth. Nothing more was said and nothing happened for a long period of time. Ed was still holding him and Roy was listening to his heartbeat and every breath he took. Ed enjoyed how Roy snuggled his chest. It was quite amusing given the fact that it was, on more then one occasion, the other way around.
It was way past closing hours when Ed told Roy that he had to go. His train left rather early and he should probably get some sleep. Reluctantly Roy let Ed go.
"I hope to see you again at some point in my life, Colonel. I enjoyed being under your command."
"Me too Ed me too." Roy smiled mischievously.
"You perverted bastard." Ed smiled. "Good night Roy."
"Good night Ed." Roy smiled.
He watched Ed walk down the hall until he was completely engulfed in the darkness. He wasn't going to let him go. He couldn't do it. It wasn't in his nature to give up so easily.
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Ed walked away from Roy not knowing exactly why he was still leaving. Roy had evidently meant what he had said. He had practically had a breakdown. He knew he should leave for a while but he didn't know if he wanted to anymore. He wanted to stay there and hold Roy forever.
'What the hell am I thinking! Wake up Ed! You are going to fuck your self over again. I'm leaving tomorrow and I can't get anymore attached then I already am. God, why did I have to say good-bye? I knew it was a bad idea."
Ed continued to walk home slowly. He was subconsciously taking in a lot of the things that he would miss in Central since he was going to be clear across the world.
He reached his door and unlocked it. He threw himself on his bed, clothes and all and closed his eyes. He laid there forever trying to get to sleep but couldn't. He had so much in his head. 'Why did I have to say goodbye?' He reopened his eyes and stared into the darkness. 'It's because I love him. I said goodbye because I love him.' As soon as he thought it he felt himself drift off into sleep. He didn't want to leave him without saying goodbye.
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The next day, Ed awoke to find that it had been and still was raining a great deal. It always seemed to be raining when he had a long train ride to embark on. As much as it bothered him he was in a hurry to get on the damn train. He had a little time to pass so he would be able to run over to HQ to give them the last few things that they needed. That was something he was not anticipating. He hoped that Roy's need to get to work on time would not be there today.
When he got to headquarters Roy was already there. So he used the other avoidance technique, duck and cover.
He had managed to give Hawkeye the last remaining things he had and was walking out of the building when he heard an all too familiar voice call from behind him.
"Ed?"
He slowly turned around to face the person who had spoke his name.
"Are you going to say good-bye?"
"I already said good-bye to everyone." Ed said.
Hawkeye peered down at him from the top of the stairs leading into the building.
"There is one person that I know you haven't said good-bye to." She said.
"He will understand I'm sure. If not tell him I said good-bye would you." Ed said and then turned around and started to walk away.
She stood there watching him. If this really was the end of them why did he look so reluctant to go? Why did he seem like he was just trying to get out of here as quickly as possible to avoid any second thought on the subject.
Ed had walked to the station so fast that one could consider it running. He ha had gotten there with 15 minutes to spare. He immediately boarded the train and found an empty compartment to inhabit. After he had put his suitcase under the bench, he sat down and put his head in his hands.
'If this is what I really want, then why is it so hard for me to leave? This is what I should do isn't it?' He thought.
He listened to the other passengers moving about trying to find seats and getting comfortably prepared for the long trip ahead. Everyone seemed anxious and happy to get out of central. Why wasn't he?
"5 minutes before departure," a loud voice announced over the intercom.
"Ok, 5 min. and everything will be fine," He thought.
He held his head in his hands. In just a mere few minutes he would be leaving so much behind him. He would practically be starting a new life, a life without Roy.
" So are you just going to throw it all away?"
"That's unlike you… Giving up something so important to you so easily."
"What am I suppose to do with out you, Ed?"
"You have to try to fix things sometimes."
"…Can you honestly tell me that you don't want anything to do with me ever again…"
"…I said goodbye because I love him."
"I am on a train to one of the furthest places I can go from here just to avoid one personal problem. That's not me. Why am I doing this?" Ed thought.
"Attention all passengers, the train will be departing shortly. If you could all please take your seats and fasten your seatbelts. The train will be departing shortly."
"I have never ran away before, why am I doing it now? I can't do it now! I have to stay!"
Ed jumped up from his seat on the bench. As he took a step forward the train began to move. Before he could do anything else the train was moving to fast to stop. He was on his way to Xing.
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Hawkeye entered Mustang's office with the miniscule hope of finding him doing his paperwork. Instead she found him sitting by the window staring helplessly out at the world below him. She should of known better then to expect him to do anything else.
"Sir?" she said breaking the silence, wishing she hadn't when she saw his face.
Mustang turned around and gave a vague smile. He looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks. Even if you didn't know him you would assume that he had just lost the most important thing in his life.
"Are you ok, sir?" She asked him.
"No I'm not but I guess I'll have to be right." he replied.
"I'm sorry that this didn't work out for you."
"I know." He said as he got up and sat down at his desk. He buried his head in his hands.
"It just awkward." Roy mumbled. " I never really thought about the future. I just assumed he'd be in it."
"I'm sorry, sir. If you wish you can take the rest of the day off. I will cover you this time."
"No, I think I will stay here."
"Well, the option is always open."
"Thank you, Hawkeye." He said as she turned around and left him to dwell in his despondency.
There were things that Roy Mustang was trained to do. He could command and army with the intention of demolishing everything in his path. He could direct a flame and manipulate it any way he wanted. Some things just came natural to him after doing it for so long. He had a reputation for being one of the biggest Lady's Men ever. He had broken the hearts of many women who meant little or nothing to him.
But, He had never fallen in love. He never met someone who truly grasped his attention for longer that 1 night. He never knew that you could be staring at the love of your life for years before even realizing it.
And he wasn't never trained how to deal with the sky falling. He had no idea what he was supposed to do when the world stopped turning.
He was oblivious to dealing with a heart that was beyond broken.
And once more I reply!
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Shingo-sama: Shi-chan I love you and I love your reviews! Yes sad fluff is the best kind ever! You make me soooo happy with your stories! You must update all of them soon: Hugs tightly
Br14nn4: LOL I'm sorry your restricting devices didn't work on him. But it will be okay. I'm not going to leave Roy lonely. I promise! I'm very happy that you like this story. Thank you for all your reviews!
KuramaIsFine: Thank you so much for reading this! I'm very happy that you like it. Thanks!
Syao9: Yes ROY/ED FOREVER! I'm happy that you enjoyed this! I'm sorry if it's not the ending you were hoping for but read the A/N. That might make you happy!
Genkai-Chan: Awwww I'm sorry I made you cry. And don't kill me please. I'm really enjoying the world of Roy/Ed lol. XD Thank you for your reviews!
NaGami cabAsa: (pick you up off the ground) You're so funny! Ed will have to return eventually or the world will die. What is there to do if there's no Roy/Ed! Thank you for reviewing!
Midnightsnow57: I hope that regardless of the ending you had fun read this chapter. Thank you for your kind words! They make me happy XD. I hope to see your reviews again!
Trueblue14: I hope that this chapter had one of those Good Sad Endings that you talk about. XD Thank you for Reviewing! And I hope your at least slightly happy XD!
Anonymous: I'm glad you like it. If my husband ever cheated on me he would have to do a lot more then grovel. He might even have to regrow some body parts! XD
Sinistra-san: Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comments! I hope to see your reviews again.
Ranger: You were mot defiantly right. Well about everything but the whole backing out thing. He valuable enough that he might be able to say, "Jump." and they'd say "How high?" Plus he has friends in high places. Hawkeye for instance started working on that problem as soon as she found out he was leaving. I'm happy you like this and I hope you read the next!
KKSi: Thank you for your review! I hope you enjoyed it!
Loki El Diablo: I would try to kill him before anything else too! However, Now that we know that Ed has it in his heart to forgive him, it's going to be interesting to see just how much there is that can be forgiven. I'm glad the angst is good! I tried. XD
YamiEmmy: Luckily for him he didn't go to the station. Yeah something bad would of happened. Lol Thanks for you reviews.
ForsakenVampire: YAY! I'm so happy that you loved this that much. That's so great! Thanks for the review!
Edward4: (wipes your tears away) Thanks for the reviews!
Dhracth: Am I really a bad person? I hope you read the sequel. I really appreciate your review! And I hope you enjoyed the story!
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Another A/N: Okay you guys; there will be a sequel. It will be called Beneficial Absence. YAY! Anyways I really appreciate all the reviews that I got! I am happy everyone enjoyed it and I promise to make the sequel just as good for you.
By the way, I swear that someone asked me where I got the title for this story. The last line of the story is where I got it. I like to switch things up and most stories have titles that basically tell you what the story is about. Well, I like to be original. I love the title and I hope you guys do too.
Thank you all so much again. I don't know when I will be posting the sequel but it should be soon. I want to do a few things before I do. But I promise you will get it!
Love you all! --Marie