mistymidnight
Author's Notes: I have returned!
I'm in the mood to write again…vacation was great, but a week without updates is too long for me, and I know what's going to happen!
I was planning to spread the storyline out more, but in the next few chapters I'll probably cut to school age and pre-teen/teenage Tara. I love writing this story and I don't want it to end too fast!
Also, not only is this story the most-reviewed, it's also officially the longest! Yay!
Chapter 13Tara swept Miss Kitty off the ground and hugged her so tightly that it was like Miss Kitty was an extension of Tara herself. Miss Kitty cried when Tara cried, and Miss Kitty laughed when Tara laughed.
Miss Kitty was sobbing.
And she was confused. And Miss Kitty's tummy hurt from where Daddy stepped on her.
Tara heard the door slam and a car engine start. Daddy was going for coffee. He always went for coffee when he was mad. Tara was glad it wasn't whiskey. Once Bethie's daddy had whiskey, and Bethie had cried afterwards. Tara had never seen Bethie cry before.
Tara tiptoed down the hallway to the bathroom, where she unrolled the roll of toilet paper and wrapped Miss Kitty's stomach in it, the way she'd seen doctors do on TV, when she was allowed to watch it. Except the doctors used real bandages. But then again, their patients were real people, not stuffed cats. Miss Kitty was pretend, so pretend bandages would work.
Tara shoved her thoughts about Miss Kitty being pretend out of her head. She didn't like to think Miss Kitty was pretend. But Miss Kitty was her only friend, aside from Mommy.
And Mommy needed a friend now.
"Sweetheart, go call Donny and Timmy inside for lunch," Mommy said, placing two plates of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the table.
"Okay," Tara said. Daddy had acted all week as if nothing was wrong, and Tara was trying to act like it, too. But inside she was confused. Why wasn't anybody talking about it? Tara had expected that Daddy was punish she and Mommy as long as possible, but he hadn't mentioned it at all. Tara was treading carefully. Like a land mine, she thought. Most almost-five-year-olds didn't know or understand land mines, but Tara did. Men on TV talked about it, and Tara had heard them. She had asked Mommy what they were, and Mommy explained that they were bad things for war. If you stepped on one, everything went ka-boom. If you step on Daddy, things go ka-boom.
Tara went out to the backyard and searched for Donny and Timmy. They were nowhere to be seen.
"Donny?" she called timidly. "T-Timmy?"
She heard a loud rustling in the woods near the edge of the backyard. Donny and Timmy burst through, Timmy empty-handed, Donny with a slingshot and something fluffy in his hands.
"Look, Tare!" he yelled. "Look what I shot!"
Shot? Tara thought. Then she realized what Donny had said. She felt sick.
"A bird!" Donny exclaimed, dropping it on the porch. Tara wanted to look away, but her eyes wouldn't listen. Her neck wasn't working. It wouldn't turn away. Tara stared at the bird's still form, then asked quietly, "What are you going to do with it?"
"I dunno. That's not the point. I got it!" Donny did a small dance of triumph. "It was just sitting there, and I took aim, and whoosh! The dumb thing never knew what hit it. I was that good!" He thought for a second. "I guess I'll wait for Scout to come around and chew on it."
He and Timmy ran inside, screen door banging behind them. Tara looked at the bird again. If she concentrated very hard, she could almost see it's chest fall and rise, alive.
Then she blinked, and reality took hold again.
She wished she could bring the birdie back, but Mommy had always told her that you couldn't use magic to change life and death. The Circle of Life must be honored, Mommy said, and death was a natural part of the circle.
Tara walked over to the bird and knelt beside it. She placed her hand on its wing, its head. Then she picked up the dead bird and carried it to the woods.
Other bird chirped in the trees and bugs hummed around. Tara looked around the woods and found a perfect spot: A place where the sun shone through the trees just right, making a heart-shaped section of light on the ground.
She found a stick and struggled to dig through the tough dirt and the hard-packed ground. Her stick hit something hard and she used her fingers to unearth a flat piece of rock. She yanked it out of the ground and tossed the stick aside before resuming her task with the rock. It was stronger than the stick, and soon she had a good-sized hole.
She was about to lay the bird in the hole when she heard Bethie ask, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Burying the bird," Tara replied quietly, secretly angry that Bethie had spoiled her private moment.
"That's stupid," Bethie said. "And not only is it stupid, it's a waste. Scout could eat that, you know."
"I know."
"Stupid," Bethie muttered, and turned to leave. "Stupid and boring and gross."
Tara waited until Bethie left before resuming her sad task. "I'm sorry," she whispered to the bird. "Bethie doesn't understand. And I'm sorry Donny killed you."
She laid the bird gently in its grave. "And I'm sorry I don't have a coffin." She began to cover the bird with dirt, saying a silent prayer asking the Goddess to guide the spirit of the bird. Tara wasn't quite sure if this was exactly what the Goddess did, but she figured that since the Goddess was all-loving, she keep the bird's soul safe, and that was all Tara wanted.
Tara finished covering the hole and patted it gently, her hands leaving dents in the ground. Tara hoped she didn't squish the bird.
She picked up the rock she had used to dig the hole and examined its edges. One was very sharp. Perfect. She looked around for another rock, found one, and carried it over to the gravesite, stopping every few seconds to put the rock down and catch her breath.
Once she reached the gravesite, she picked up her sharp rock and began engraving.
It was almost nighttime when Tara returned home. She had spent the last hours painstakingly engraving "Bird" into the rock, along with the date and year. After that she covered the grave with leaves and needles from trees, and picked a fern to decorate the grave.
Daddy wasn't home yet, but he would be soon. Tara went upstairs to wash the dirt off of her hands and out from under her nails, and Mommy washed the tearstains off Tara's face.
Dinner that night was chicken and dumplings. Tara stayed upstairs in her room, not feeling well enough to eat downstairs with everyone else.
After supper Mommy brought some leftover chicken. "In case you want a bite to eat," she said, and smiled. The bruise on her cheek was fading.
Tara looked at her supper and thought of the bird in the woods.
"I'm not hungry."
Okay, now I feel obligated to answer questions and comments I have received and may receive for this chapter.
gidgetgirl—I see Tara as trying to blend in because she was afraid of "land mines". If you blend in, you don't rock the boat or "set people off", so to speak. As for Faith, she reacted in a different way, I guess. Perhaps her abuse was more physical, whereas Tara's mom gets the physical end of the abuse and Tara gets the emotional end.
As for Daddy taking Tara's stuffed animal: I definitely see your point about his wanting her to be a nurturing person. But he was angry, and people do stupid things when they're angry. Not to mention they can be completely out of character. I suppose that's why he gave Miss Kitty back. He was using the scare tactic on Tara, threatening her, though not physically. Tara would do anything to keep Miss Kitty. He was playing on this, letting it hang in the air: If you stay in line, you get to keep Miss Kitty.
As for the religion thing…it just kinda popped in and popped right back out. Christianity is the exact opposite of paganism, and a lot of Christians can take that over- seriously. (To any Christians—don't be insulted by that statement. I'm Christian as well, and I have a pretty strong faith. When I say some Christians, I mean just that—some. Not all. That would be like saying every person that walks into a bank is going to rob it.) Daddy is mad that Tara is being brought up the exact opposite of the way he wants her to be—she doesn't always obey, she's been shown magic, and she's been exposed to paganism.
About Mommy's stuttering—she only stutters around Daddy when he's angry. When things are okay, she tries to keep them okay. But when her husband is abusing her, she breaks down and her front she puts up for the family—especially for Tara—is dissolved. See the author's note in chapter two for a little more reasoning.
As for the exclamation points—I was in the moment. =P
Okay, that should just about cover it. Thanks for reading!
mistymidnight