Chapter One

Leonardo couldn't take it anymore. Normally he was quiet and focused during his mediation session with Splinter, and after 24 years of doing so, he knew that an outburst of any kind was not aloud. He watched Splinters' face with a nervous twitch in his eyes, feeling as if he was going to have an anxiety attack. He tried to take a deep breath and start his mediation over again for the hundredth time, but as soon as Leonardo closed his eyes, all he could see were those horrible images that haunted him day and night. He figured that after three years of seeing a psychiatrist that those dreams would be gone for good. Leonardo just didn't understand why these dreams were coming back.

To avoid bothering Splinter while he was in his trance, Leonardo let his eyes wonder around the greenhouse they sat in. He and his brothers had built the greenhouse for Splinter, mainly so Splinter could have his own quiet place away from the house. Raphael joked, saying it was a way to keep Splinter out of the house so they could party more.

The green house was fashioned after the gardens in Japan that Splinter loved so much. Dogwood stretched up to the glass and marble ceiling, while Banzai trees were scattered between the wooden walkways and the white gravel that covered the ground. In the far eastern corner of the greenhouse, where they now sat, a secluded area surrounded by bamboo trees was created for Splinter's mediation sessions. A slightly raised marble platform was placed in the middle of the trees, its smooth top inscribed with various Japanese characters that describe a horrible war, and those that had triumphed over evil.

Leonardo's eyes traveled back down the urn in the middle of the platform and watched the smoke from the incense. It twisted and turned as it rose back up the ceiling where Leonardo's eyes had begun. He sighed heavily, then looked back down at Splinter.

"Are you having trouble concentrating, my son?"

Leonardo jumped slightly as his eyes met Splinter's own. He was totally unaware that his sensi had been watching him the entire time.

"Yes," Leonardo said. "I'm sorry, master."

Splinter gave him a smiled back in response. " It is all right my son. If you do not wish to do this, you may leave."

Leonardo shook his head. " It's not that I don't want to be here, I- I've been having those dreams again, and I didn't know how to tell you without disrupting you."

Splinter closed his eyes once again, and inhaled deeply. " I have seen your dreams, Leonardo, and I know how to rid of them, as you yourself know-"

Leonardo laughed in an I-don't-think-so manner and stood up, brushing the dust from the platform off of his dark-blue yoga pants. "There is NO way, master. Dr. Foster told me the same thing, and you know for a fact I'm not going to contact her. No way!"

Splinter opened his eyes. "Leonardo, why can you not forgive that girl? Your brothers have. It is time to move on from this. You cannot carry this burden with you forever. That is why you have those dreams. You need closure."

"I know." Leonardo crossed his arms and looked down at the Japanese writings, rereading, and in a way, reliving the past. "I just can't. I'm not ready. It still hurts."

Splinter said nothing in return, then bowed his head to Leonardo, as if saying he understood, and bid him a farewell. Leonardo pushed his way through the bamboo and followed the walkway to the greenhouse glass doors.

He exited to the outside, making the doors were fully closed before letting out the breath he had been holding after Splinter's silent goodbye. He couldn't help but feel a touch of guilt for leaving, let alone acting hostile towards Splinter. Leonardo knew Splinter meant well, that he was only looking out his sons' best interest. But this was one thing Leonardo did not want to be pushed into.

After feeling a slight breeze from the ocean whip across his face, Leonardo followed a stone and gravel walkway that continued from the greenhouse across the back lawn to the half-circle shaped driveway in front of the house. His hands were clasped together and stuck against his mouth while he let himself become lost in his thoughts. Leonardo went up the shallow steps of the large open front porch of the house and absentmindedly sat down on the concrete, which had not yet been warmed by the morning sun. He jumped a bit as the cold went through his thin pants, but soon forgot it and started to think again.

A small beeping noise startled Leonardo back to reality, and he glanced down at the source, which had been his watch, and read the time: 6:00. The sun had already broke over the horizon and the various breeds of birds were well into their morning chirping concert, when suddenly a large roar from a sports car engine broke through the peaceful scene. Leonardo shook his head, as he had done every morning, as his brother Raphael came flying down the street and into the driveway in his red Ford Mustang. Leonardo yawned and stood up as the loud engine and even louder rock music was shut off and Raphael stepped out. He was dressed in his work uniform, which consisted of blue jeans and a white tee shirt. The logo on the left chest of the shirt read in black letters: East Side Dock Bar and Grill.

"How are you not deaf from all of that?" Leonardo asked, crossing his arms and leaning against one the tall pillars that connected to the second story balcony.

Raphael removed his sunglasses. "What?"

"How are you not deaf from that car?" Leonardo said a little louder, and a little slower.

Raphael rubbed at his ear holes. "What!"

"I said, how are you not-" Leonardo in mid-sentence when he saw the mischievous grin that spread across Raphael's face.

"Smart ass," Leonardo replied as he turned for the front doors, opening them and letting Raphael go in front of him. Raphael sat down on the bench in the doorway and removed his tennis shoes, while Leonardo slipped out of his sandals.

"So how was work?"

Raphael leaned back against the wall. "Well, let's see. I stopped three fights, played marriage consular to a couple of gay guys, then had my butt smacked by a drag queen named Big Mama."

A look of confusion and disgust set across Leonardo face as Raphael jumped to his feet and nodded.

" Yeah, they don't pay me enough to put up with all of that."

The smell of coffee greeted them in the foyer and they followed the scent into the dining room, which was adjacent from the kitchen. In the dining room, seated at the far end of the long, oak dining table was Donatello. A cup of steaming coffee was on his left side and various piles of paperwork were scattered around him. The jacket to his gray suit hung over the chair next to him, where his open briefcase also sat.

"Morning gentlemen," Donatello said without even looking up from the table. His brothers watched as his hand raced over the papers with a red pen.

"Forget to do your homework last night, Donnie?" Raphael joked as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee while Leonardo set the tea kettle on the stove and hunted the oak cabinets above his head for his tea bags.

"Yeah," Donatello laughed. "Just remind me next time that I decide to assign my physics class an essay assignment before spring break to go ahead and put a bullet in my head." Raphael laughed as he took a seat across the table. Donatello tapped his pen on the table as he watched Raphael take a drink of his coffee.

"How can you drink that before going to bed?"

Raphael shrugged. "This stuff don't do anything to me. I could drink a whole pot then go to sleep." He took another sip, then studied the coffee mug, watching the lights of the dining room chandelier reflect off of the mugs' black surface. Leonardo then appeared behind Raphael, pulled out the chair beside of him, and sat down. He placed his cup, which contained green tea, on the table and, without thought, slouched in his seat, placing his left foot on the chair next to him. Donatello took note of this, but said nothing, figuring Leonardo didn't want to discuss how he slept last night.

"So, Raph," Leo stretched his arms above his head. "What do you want to do tonight?"

Raphael sighed in disgust. " Man, do we have to do anything at all? I just wanna relax. I've had a long week."

"It's your birthday, Raph," Leonardo said after a long yawn.

"Aw, it's just another day to me. All my fun birthdays are past me."

Donatello raised his head from the table. " 'Fun birthdays'? And what does that mean?"

"You know." Raphael ran his finger along the rim of his mug. " At eighteen you can smoke, 21 you can drink. I can do everything legally now. There no fun left after you turn 21."

Leonardo gave Raphael a weird look. " But you never did either one of those things."

Raphael laughed while he exchanged a smile with Donatello and took another drink of coffee, letting his eyes wonder to the ceiling. Donatello chuckled also while Leonardo's eyes grew big.

"All right Raph, what have you been doing?"

Raphael laughed a little louder at the older brother tone in Leonardo's voice. " I ain't doin' it now. That was years ago- when I was thirteen."

Leo jaw dropped. " Raphael!"

Raphael, still laughing, pointed at Donatello. " It wasn't my fault. He made me do it!"

"You liar! I did no such thing!" Donatello said through his own laughter, but stopped when he watched as Leonardo cross his arms in front of his chest. " Oh, come on Leo. We were stupid kids back then. Everyone experiments at one point in their lives."

"I never did!" Leonardo stated.

"No, he didn't Donnie," Raphael agreed. " He just kept an issue of Playboy under his mattress."

This time, Donatello's mouth dropped along with Leonardo's. Leonardo stared back at Raphael in disbelief.

"How did you know-" Leonardo shook his head. " Okay, anyway. Birthday plans! What are we doing?"

Raphael shrugged, sinking down into the chair. After a moment of thought, he spoke up.

"You know what I really want to do?"

"What?" Leonardo asked.

"Get a six pack, crash on the couch, turn up Alice In Chains, and veg all night."

Donatello held up his hands. " Whoa, slow down there. That might be too much excitement."

"I'm serious. I ain't in a partyin mood." Raphael finished the last of his coffee and rose to refill his cup. "Man, am I gettin old or what?"

Donatello laughed at Raphael, then glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. " Crap, it's 7:30. I gotta get out of here." He stood up, grabbing all of the papers with both hands and flung them into his briefcase. He straighten his navy tie, then put on his jacket.

"Have a good day, Donnie." Leo said while watching his brother. Donatello smiled back, grabbed his briefcase, then hurried towards the door. After hearing the front doors slam shut and the hum of Donatello's truck pull away from the house, Leonardo sighed once again and stared blankly at the mug in front of him, realizing in a weird way that he didn't even touch his tea.

As Leonardo stared into his mug, the lights above him flickered. He looked up at the chandelier, then turned around to see if Raphael had noticed. Before he could call out to his brother, the liquid in his mug started to boil. Leonardo watched it as it bubbled and spilled over the sides of the cup. Then, Leonardo gasped in horror as the liquid that flow onto the table turned to blood, and the mug had been replaced that familiar metal mask. Leonardo felt a sadness creep over his body, which paralyzed him instantly. He couldn't move or speak. Then, the voice returned.

Leonardo, please, don't hate me, I love you, Leonardo...

"Leo?"

Raphael's voice pulled him away from the table. "Huh?"

"I said, did you talk to Mikey yet?" Raphael asked again, setting his cup down on the table then returning to his chair.

Leonardo closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his fingers. " No. I mean, I tried, but you can talk to Mikey until you are blue in the face and it still goes in one ear and out the other."

Raphael snorted and shook his head. "Did he even make to his bedroom last night?"

"No," Leonardo opened his eyes and pointed at the open doorway of the living room. "He fell asleep on the couch again. I did manage to clean up the mess he made in there finally." Then Leonardo made a small laugh. " Do you know how many bags of Doritos that guy can put away in a day?"

"He is really pissing me off, Leo." Raphael grunted. " The three of us are out there working our asses off just so he can sit in front of the T.V. all day long and eat junk food. He needs to get a job."

Leonardo was about to respond when Raphael stopped him. "And that doesn't mean working in a comic book store one day a week either."

"I know, Raph, I know, "Leonardo sighed, not wanting to get into the same argument that he and Raph had been in several times before. Leonardo rose to his feet and grabbed his tea. " I have to get ready. I'll deal with Mike later. Go get some sleep."

Raphael yawned."You're right. I'm beat."

Together they left the dining room and walked back into the foyer. Before following Leonardo up the stairs, Raphael stopped at the living room entrance and glared at the sleeping Michelangelo, who was on his stomach and snoring loudly on the couch.

"Raph!" His brother called out from the second floor. Raphael looked up and saw Leonardo leaning over the banister. "Come on!"

"I'm coming," Raphael mumbled. He again glared at his sleeping younger brother, then climbed up the stairs.

When Raphael reached the upstairs hallway, Leonardo had already disappeared into is own room. Raphael stood at the end of the hall, looking around as he had done the first time they had moved in four years ago. The walls were painted a soft white color, with a forest green border going across the middle of the wall, and a lighter green wallpaper under the border. Heavy, black iron wall sconces holding frosted crystal lamps lined the walls close to the ceiling, and various photos of family and friends were scattered around.

The upstairs contained five bedrooms: two on one side, two on the other, and the largest one was at the end of the hallway. Aside from the one at the end, which belonged to Splinter, the room setup was exactly like it had been down in their sewer home. Raphael's room was the farthest, with Donatello's next door, and Leonardo's directly across. Michelangelo's was next to Leonardo's room. Then Raphael realized something he had never noticed before: Each one of them chosen the same room they had in the lair! Raphael, who was beyond feeling tired at this point, began to laugh at his little discovery.

Leonardo exited his bedroom, tying the belt to his bujinkan uniform. He then noticed Raphael was standing at the end of the hallway.

" Raph, what are you doing?" Leonardo asked as he walked towards his brother.

Raphael laughter turned into a yawn. "Sleepwalking, I guess," He yawned again, then patted Leonardo on the shoulder. "Have a nice day." He then staggered to his bedroom, and shut the door behind him. Leonardo smiled to himself, then made his way back down the stairs.

As he made his way back to the kitchen, Leonardo thought about how close he and Raphael had become. They hardly fought anymore, but when they did, it was never like it had been when they were younger, and they would actually carry on conversations with each other instead of yelling. What amazed Leonardo most about his brother was how Raphael controlled his anger, but that had a lot to do with the family psychiatrist. Leonardo never thought in his wildest dreams that they would be this way, but he knew that if they had not been on the brink of death, it would have never happened.

Once in the kitchen, Leonardo turned off the coffee pot, then headed back towards the front doors. A rustling noise made Leonardo stop in front of the living room, where Michelangelo was sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, Leo, what time is it?" Michelangelo asked in a sleepy voice.

"It's a little after eight, Mikey."

Michelangelo nodded, his eyes beginning to close again. "Not quite noon yet." And with that, he laid back down and the snoring quickly resumed.

Leo stood in the doorway for a moment, wondering when Raphael was standing here if he had the same urge to go over to the couch and smother Michelangelo with a pillow. Instead, Leonardo moved to the entrance way, sat down on the bench, and put on his tennis shoes. He grabbed his keys off the key rack, and walked outside, locking the door behind him.

The sun was up a little higher now and its light was hitting the various trees and flowers that were placed along the driveway and scattered around the front lawn. The breeze Leonardo had felt earlier that had blown in from the ocean behind the house had grown stronger now, and it filled Leonardo's nose with the scent of salt and flower pollen, the latter of the two causing Leonardo to sneeze.

"I hate spring," Leonardo mumbled to himself, sniffing and rubbing at the sudden irritation in his eyes. He unlocked and jumped into his blue Jeep Grand Cherokee, placed his sunglasses over his eyes, and drove around the driveway to the street. He waited patiently as a school bus went by, then he drove out into the street.

Leonardo glanced around the neighborhood as he drove, reminiscing about the first time he and his brothers drove around this area. They were all arguing about the right spot to live, especially Raphael and Michelangelo; both preferred to stay closer to the city. As soon as Donatello turned the old van into the small ocean side town of Rockaway, Leonardo instantly knew that was the place. The neighborhood was quiet and clean, and the people were very friendly. Splinter and Donatello agreed with Leonardo, and the skeptical Raphael and Michelangelo changed their opinions after seeing the old Victorian style house with the Atlantic Ocean as the backyard.

Another school bus appeared on the opposite side of the road and flashed its lights, stopping to let on a group of young children. Leonardo stopped and waited patiently, tapping his fingers to an old George Michael song. A young girl with black hair and Asian features stopped directly in front of his Jeep, and stared blankly at him. Leonardo smiled at the girl, and waved her on. She did not move, but instead dropped her backpack onto the street. She unzipped it slowly, and pulled out of it a long, ancient Japanese sword. Leonardo froze in place, suddenly feeling that paralyzing fear grab a hold of him again. His breath slowed as the girl raise the sword and came running towards him.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Leonardo's voice rang out, even though his mouth never opened. He tightened his grasp on the steering wheel and pushed on the gas pedal. He watched as the girl dropped the sword just as the Jeep struck her-

"Hey come on buddy! Move it!"

A loud beep from a car horn woke Leonardo out of his dream state. He blinked his eyes, watching as the school bus pulled away. Another car honked its horn, but Leonardo ignored it as he searched the street for the girl.

"Come on! Get out of the way, you idiot!"

Leonardo blinked again, and looked into his rear view mirror, finally seeing the long line of cars behind him. Feeling totally embarrassed and out of sorts, Leonardo turned onto the nearest empty driveway and let the line of cars drive by him, the last of which the driver flipped up his middle finger at him. Leonardo sunk down into his seat and covered his face with his hands.

"This has to stop," he whispered to himself. " I can't take it anymore."

Leonardo reached down and pushed the speed dial on his car phone, and after a few rings, a female answered.

"Hello, Dr. Foster's office."

Leonardo cleared his throat. " Is Dr. Foster in yet?"

"Yes she is."

"Can I talk to her please?"

"May I ask whose calling please?"

Leonardo gave the receptionist his name and waited for his call to go through. After what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Foster picked up the phone.

"What can I do for you, Leo?"

"I'm sorry to bother you and I know my next appointment isn't until next month, but-"

"The dreams are back?" The doctor finished for Leonardo. "How is 12:30 today for you?"