mistymidnight
Author's Notes: I think I'll state right up front that I have no idea where this chapter is going. I have no plot in mind and no…well, no anything, really. So if the chapter seems pointless, that's probably 'cause it is. =-P
And…the lack of reviews is making me very sad and not in the mood to update. I noticed that lots of folks have me on author alert, but not many of them reviewed. If y'all wanna read, you gotta review. I write whole chapters for you, can't you write a sentence for me?
Also, Buffy was born in '81. According to , Willow was born in '82. I've decided that Tara was born in '82 as well. This way, Cordelia could have been born in '81, making her be older than Tara (see chapter 10) but having her fall in the same age group as well.
Chapter 14"I don't understand," Tara said to Mommy, picking at the vegetable soup her mother had made instead of leftover chicken. "Why did the bird have to die? Why today? Why Donny? Why that bird?"
Mommy sighed and stroked Tara's hair. "We don't understand everything that happens, Tara," Mommy said. "But there's a reason for everything. We might not know why, or how, but nothing happened accidentally. Nothing."
"What about car accidents?"
"Car accidents are sad, and they might seem like they have no reason for happening, but each being on this earth—ants to birds to people—has a destiny. If I died tomorrow, there would be a reason."
"What?"
"What what?"
"What would the reason be?"
Mommy pulled Tara onto her lap. "I don't know, sweetheart. I don't make the plans. I just live them out."
"Is that why Daddy yells?" Tara asked. "Because it's part of his plan?"
Mommy sighed. "People have plans, Tara, but they have free will, too."
"Free will?"
"People can choose, sweetheart. Daddy's life is mapped out for him, the big parts, at least, but he has to decide what he does in between."
"What's my plan?" Tara inquired.
"I can't answer that, sweetie," Mommy replied. "All I know is that you are going to be a beautiful young woman. You're going to make me very proud."
"Really?"
"Really. It's in the life-time Mommy guarantee."
Tara giggled. "So there's a reason for everything?"
"Yes," Mommy confirmed. "Everything. Don't ever forget that."
Tara looked solemnly up at her mother. "I promise."
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OCTOBER 23, 1998
"Mom?" Tara slid her backpack off her shoulder and it fell to the ground. She realized what she'd done and quickly picked it up, opening the closet door and hanging it on the hook on the wall next to the coat rack. "Mom? Where are you?"
"Here, sweetie," she heard her mother call from upstairs. Tara rolled her eyes slightly, but only jokingly. She liked how her mother still used 'baby names' for her. Even though she was seventeen now and starting her senior year, the baby names let her hold onto her childhood. Tara wasn't quite sure it was much of a childhood to hold onto, but it was hers nonetheless. She secretly pitied Bethie—no, wait, Beth—whose parents insisted that she drop her own baby name as soon as she entered second grade. Beth had gone along readily, but in her mind Tara would always know her as Bethie.
She jogged lightly up the stairs toward Mom and Dad's room, pumping her arms like she was jogging for real. Daddy thought jogging was un-lady-like. Tara had discovered this early on, but it was reinforced freshman year. Tara thought girls' cross-country running would be fun, but didn't dare mention it to Dad. No, it was Bethie that did that. Tara could remember the day perfectly, how Beth had told Dad that Tara wanted to run, to get sweaty and wear shorts and travel. Dad had thanked Beth for this information and given Tara the same speech as usual: you are nothing. You are good for nothing except housework. Remember that you are unimportant. You are not needed in this family. And by God, you are not going to act un-lady-like.
In her heart, Tara knew all this. She was not much of anything—a stuttering, ugly, useless girl. She was reminded of this every day. No matter how much Mommy told her that she was smart and beautiful and precious, Tara knew Mom was lying. It was Mommy's opinion against the other six billion people in the world. Three guesses at whose opinion mattered.
"What's going on, Mom?" Tara asked. "How did your doctor's appointment go?"
"Fine. There's a few tests that the results haven't come in for yet. They'll be ready next week."
Tara frowned. "Is anything wrong?"
Mom smiled and shook her head. "Tara-bear, it's just routine. Everything will bne fine." She turned away from Tara and coughed. "Excuse me."
Tara patted her mother's shoulder. "It's a good thing you went to the doctor's today. You've been coughing more than usual." She thought for a second. "Maybe you're coming down with something."
"I hope not," her mother said. "But that's not important right now. Why don't we talk about Samhain?"
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"Samhain?" Beth scoffed as she and Tara walked to school the next day . "Don't you and Aunt Brooke do anything normal?"
"It-it's just Halloween," Tara said meekly. "That's normal."
"Not the way you folks celebrate it," Beth sniffed. "Why can't you go to parties like normal people?"
Tara decided to use the opportunity to change the subject. "You're going to a Halloween party?"
"Yes," Bethie said. "Well, not so much a party. Mom and Dad would never go for that. I'm just going over to Holly's, and we're going to watch her brothers and sisters and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, you know, stuff like that."
"Cool," Tara said, because it was pretty much the only thing she could say. According to Beth, everything she did was cooler than anything Tara did.
Tara never said differently.
No one likes land mines.
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I told you I had no idea where this chapter was going. I'm not quite happy with the characters. Beth didn't sound like enough of a Daddy's girl, Tara didn't sound timid enough, etc. But hopefully it'll work out later.
mistymidnight