Harry sat in the gryfindor common common room, staring at the fireplace. 'How much do I fancy a fag right now? Very much… very.'

Me: Harry smokes! OH MY GOD! My life is ruined… maybe

Neville came down from the dorm and Harry had a flash back of how cute he used to look… how cute and cuddly and VERY annoy they ALL were back in first year.

Harry sighed… he just couldn't get this god damn song out of his head – "Oh IIIVE had the time of my liiife…." God DAMN Ron for dragging them into that school play…

School PLAY! Harry thought… that was a first… and Ron had EVERYTHING to do with the idea of introducing them into Hogwarts. Where the idea had come from, Harry had no idea… he didn't even know Ron knew they existed. It was probably Hermione mentioning it at some point in first year or something.

Harry walked up to the dorm… how fucking messy did his hair look today? Like a… well… just messy and long and STUPID, exactly as it had been for every recent school day… he couldn't be bothered to have it cut or learn a spell for it. No matter how many taunts he got from others and nags from Hermione….he wouldn't cut it because of the few obsessed fan girls that loved his hair.

Ron walked in… "I hope you don't mind… I hope you don't mind that I put down in woooords, how wooonderful liiife is now yoooour in the world." He sang, loudly.

"What the fuck, Ron!" Harry asked.

"The PLAY!" Ron replied. Harry sighed… obsessed… that was the word.

"FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!" taken from Shaun of the dead… my favourite quote EVER Ron yelled. "I just found my old love song tape! How I've missed it…" Harry was officially weirded out now, while Ron began singing again… "Moooooove closer, move you body real close untiiil it feels like we're REEEAAAALYYY making LOVE!" Time for Harry to leave now… he couldn't bare the disturbing thoughts any longer. He had way too much if a dirty mind… ew… Snape just crossed his mind…ok, that's just tooooo gross.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… how extremely YUMMY Seamus looked tonight. He thought, as Seamus walked past, smiled and said 'hi' 'Yum, Yum, Yum, I could eat him right now,' Harry thought. Seamus "came out" two months ago, and Harry had had a secret crush on him after the Cho troubles… girls aren't worth it; BOYS are! He was so happy that Seamus was a "fag" now… but he just didn't have the courage to ask him out! This boy was yummy… yum. OK HARRY, enough 'yum's, please. "Maybe if I got the courage I would be able to borrow Ron's song tape (which he knows EVERY single word to, I hasten to add)… Jesus, that was one HOTTT thought!" he whispered to himself.

Harry continued to ponder about things… it suddenly occurred to him that nearly every guy in the school was gay! Well, apart from Ron and the rest of the Weasley's, minus Percy (who now had a VERY nice boyfriend called Oliver Wood) and a few odd lads. There were also a few lesbians… and Pavarti and Lavendar were the FIRST to hear about new gay gossip. They were, obviously, lesbians themselves. Harry decided to go to the Library… he'd see if Hermione was there.

She wasn't… but he decided to take his copy of "Homosexuals Hogwarts issue 69" out and began to read. Sometimes he would show all the straights around the lovely pictures in the mag... it was just too funny not to see their faces at least once a day. "It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!" He sang to himself.

Author comment: I had to… sorry. I don't own Harry Potter or characters and so on. Oh, and, for the record, I'M not gay/lesbian… just in case you thought. I just think it's amusing for the cast to be… and I think homosexuals rock! Lol! Note: anything inside " " means I'M speaking… once they are closed it's the story continuing