Disclaimer: Not mine okay?

Yami: Oh gods what have you in store for me this time?

Yami Seirei: Your first time cooking

Yugi: Uh-oh…

YamiKITG: You expect there to be a cooker when he's done?

Yami Seirei: Ah well you'll have to wait and see now won't you?

Everyone: (Sweatdrop)

Yami's First Time…Cooking

Yami was seated at the kitchen table thinking. Yugi's birthday was coming up the next weekend and although Yami had bought him a present – a very expensive Duel Monsters card he had wanted for a long time – Yami wanted to do something extra for his aibou to show how much he cared about him. But what?

"I know I'll bake him a cake!" Yami said knowing that his aibou loved chocolate cake and one made for him would be extra special.

He knew Yugi was going out the following day and so he would bake it then. Jii-chan was away for a week but had promised to return for Yugi's birthday.

Yami cuddled up to his aibou in bed later on that night happy with himself. It couldn't be that hard to bake a cake surely? He nuzzled into Yugi's sweet smelling hair and fell asleep dreaming of the gorgeous cake he would bake and Yugi's face when he saw it.

The following day was Friday and Yami sent Yugi out for the day telling him not to return until later on that night. Yugi pestered Yami to tell him what his dark was up to but Yami wouldn't say.

"Okay Yami, I'll go spend the day with Jou." Said Yugi and went off quite happily. He suspected Yami was doing something for his birthday but he had no idea what. Oh well he was sure it would be great whatever it was.

Yami got to work as soon as Yugi left. He rummaged around in the cupboards and eventually found an old cookbook. He scoured the pages until he came to a picture of a large and very delicious looking chocolate cake.

"Mmm I bet my aibou will love this one." Yami said to himself and grinned. He looked at the list of ingredients.

"Hmm flour, eggs, butter, cocoa powder, sugar. I wonder if we have all I need and where is the chocolate? It's supposed to be a chocolate cake, well maybe I can add chocolate into it I'm sure that'll be okay."

Feeling happy, Yami started to get out things he thought he might need for this cake. He got out a mixing bowl, wooden spoon, scales and measuring cup.

By now the kitchen was looking in a bit of a mess as Yami had emptied most of the cupboards when he was hunting for the cookbook. He decided to clear up a little before carrying on.

After he had tidied up a little he washed his hands and began to read the recipe.

"8 cups flour." He read and began to hunt around for the flour. He found a tin marked 'Flour' and opened it. It was empty.

"Ra damn it." He swore and looked around for something else he could use. He looked in all the cupboards and tins until he came across one marked 'Yeast' He opened it.

"Yeast." He muttered, "that rings a bell, didn't Jii-chan say yeast was good in cooking?" Feeling sure that he had found a good substitute, Yami carefully measured out eight cups of yeast and poured them into the bowl.

"What next?" he thought and looked at the recipe again. "Half a pound of butter." He read out loud and went to the fridge but there wasn't any butter. Yami growled in annoyance and then he spotted a wrapped packet. Taking it out he discovered it was lard.

He unwrapped the packet and looked at the hard white stuff inside.

"Well it's like butter so I guess it'll be okay." He said and proceeded to weigh out half a pound.

"Let's see what next?" He wondered and looked at the recipe again. "Three eggs, beaten. I wonder how I do that?" he found three eggs in the fridge and looked at them.

"Hmm how do I beat them? Maybe I should punch them?" He thought and raised his fist before bringing it down and 'beating' the eggs. (AN: He did not remove the shells)

"Messy business this beating eggs thing." He commented before washing his hands. He added the battered eggs to the yeast and lard in the bowl and looked at the recipe again.

"Five hundred ml water. How do I measure that?" He wondered until his eyes rested on the jug he had beaten the eggs in. He snatched it up and saw 'ml' on the side. Happily, he measured out 500ml and poured it into the bowl. He looked at the recipe again.

"Two tsp cocoa powder. What in Ra's name is a tsp? Oh well I'll just stick a couple of spoonfuls in."

He rummaged in the drawer and found a tablespoon, which he used to carefully measure out two spoonfuls of the dark powder.

Two cups of sugar came next and finally the recipe said to mix it all together. He started to try and mix the ingredients but wasn't having much success. After trying for a while, Yami's arms were worn out and still the mixture wasn't mixed. Then he remembered that they had a food processor that should mix the stuff well.

He got it out of the cupboard and plugged it in before adding the semi-mixed ingredients to it and switching the machine on…

Unfortunately, Yami had forgotten to put the lid on when he switched on the processor and so bits of mixture started to fly everywhere. They covered Yami, the surfaces and the floor in big dollops of goo.

"Yargh!" screamed Yami and hurriedly put the lid on the processor.

The mixture was finally mixed and Yami got out a tin to put it in. He looked at the recipe again and saw that it said 'greased cake tin'.

"Now where am I going to find grease?" He wondered and looked under the sink. He took everything out before coming across a tub that said 'grease'

"Ah excellent." Yami said and smeared some of the thick black stuff on the inside of the tin.

Then he remembered he was going to add more chocolate to make it a perfect cake and went to the cupboard where Jii-chan kept the tub of sweets and chocolate bars.

Grabbing some of the bars as well as other sweets, Yami went back to his mixture and tipped everything in. (AN: he didn't un-wrap the bars of chocolate!)

He switched on the processor again and everything was mushed together. When Yami was satisfied with the mixture, he poured what was left of the mixture into the tin and put it into the oven.

He turned the dial to the right temp and put the 'cake' in. He shut the door and looked round at the mess in the kitchen and then down at himself.

"I think I'll go shower while I'm waiting for this to cook." He said and vanished upstairs. He put his music on loud while he showered and sang along to it while he cleaned the goop from his hair and the rest of himself.

The music and the shower drowned out the sound of the 'BANG!' when the oven door was blown open as the yeast began its work…

Yami had no idea anything was wrong until he went downstairs and into the kitchen where he stopped short and his mouth fell open when he saw what was inside.

The mixture of Yeast and lard etc had expanded and grown out of the oven and now covered the entire kitchen. It was ENORMOUS!

"Oh Ra…" Yami gasped. What on earth had happened? The mixture which had landed on the walls and ceiling when Yami had tried to blend without the lid, had also expanded and grown and was currently running down the walls and dripping off the ceiling.

Yami looked at the massive blob, which was covering at least half the kitchen. What was he going to do about this?

At that moment the front door of the shop went and Yami went out to see who it was as the shop was closed for the day.

It was Yugi.

"Yugi!" Yami squeaked half-glad to see him and half-scared of what his aibou was going to say when he saw the devastated kitchen. Yami's tone must have given something away because Yugi immediately looked at him suspiciously.

"What have you done Yami?" he asked unsure if he really wanted an answer. Yami knew it was no good trying to cover up as Yugi could read him like a book, even when his end of the link was closed off.

"T-the kitchen aibou." He stammered and Yugi looking increasingly worried, made his way into the kitchen but stopped dead when he saw the massive blob which had invaded it.

"Yami…what in Ra's name were you trying to do?" Yugi managed to say while he stared at the mess in horror.

"It was supposed to be the biggest and best chocolate cake I could bake for your birthday." Yami said dolefully.

"That's a cake?" Yugi asked. "Wow Yami do you think I need feeding up or something? Whatever possessed you to do something like this? Why is it so big?"

"I don't know aibou, it was small when I put it in the oven." Yami said feeling really depressed that his brilliant idea was a disaster.

"What on earth did you use in it?" Yugi wanted to know.

"Well there wasn't any flour but I found a tin that said 'yeast' so I used that instead.

"Yeast? Oh no how much?"

"Eight cups." Yami said feeling very small.

"By Ra Yami what am I going to do with you? Eight cups? No wonder it got so big! Oh well we'd better get this all cleaned up before Jii-chan comes home. Do you think you could send it to the shadow realm?"

"Yes of course aibou good idea." Yami cheered up a little and got to work. Soon after all traces of the huge blob had been eradicated but there was still the pots and things to clean so Yugi filled a bowl and washed while Yami dried.

"Aibou what is yeast?" Yami asked and Yugi explained about bread and only a tiny amount is needed to make dough rise to the proper height.

"What else did you put in Yami?" Yugi asked having spotted the remains of a chocolate bar wrapper in the mixture earlier.

"Lard, eggs, chocolate bars, marshmallows, sugar and cocoa powder." Yami said and Yugi stared at him dumbstruck.

"Lard?" He said screwing his face up in disgust.

"Yeah, there was no butter." Yami explained and Yugi had to give him ten out of ten for ingenuity.

"What about the choc bars and sweets?"

"Ah the recipe didn't look chocolatey enough so I added some to make it better."

Yugi couldn't help it, he laughed. He held his sides and doubled over Yami grinning and then finally laughing himself.

When they finally calmed down, they finished cleaning up the kitchen and made it spotless before Yugi drove them both into town where they chose a cake between them before returning home.

"Happy Birthday Yugi." Yami said giving his aibou a kiss.

"Thanks Mou hitori no boku." Yugi said knowing that Yami loved this term for him (AN: Japanese for 'another me') "One thing is for sure, I won't forget it in a hurry!"

Owari – for the cooking one!

Yami: Wow yeast really does that?

Yugi: yup!

Yami: Okay remind me never to attempt cooking for real!

Everyone: That's a VERY good idea!

(Laughter can be heard from everyone)