No One In Town I Know
Summary: What would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud. Never said thank you for that. Now I'll never have a chance.
Disclaimers: mumbles something clever about not owning CSI: But no they're not mine; CSI: and all its affiliates belong to Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis, and CBS productions. The song is 'Hear You Me' by Jimmy Eat World. Jimmy Eat World is copyrighted by SKG Music. Um, I think I read another story using this song, but this in now way copies that story.
Spoilers: 'And Then There Were None, 'Crash and Burn'
A/N:I wanted a sort of bittersweet story and this is my all time favorite song, so the idea has been running around in my head. This was just a little drabble to help along my writer's block with my other story but turned into a really long drabble (shameless plug: Go read my other story, it's really good!) This is what happens when a CSI: fan listens to Jimmy Eat World obessively on six hours of sleep.
A/N: Italics are song lyrics, bold is flashbacks. (My grammar sucks I know) I haven't seen 'And Then There Were None' or 'Crash and Burn' in a while, and I'm too lazy to go look up the scripts, so if the dialogue's a little off, just blame me.
Warning: Character death, some angst but I tried to make it a litte happier than my other stories.
There's no one in town I know
You gave us someplace to go
I never said thank you for that
Thought I might get one more chance
Sara Sidle stood calmly in the desert, staring off into the distance. Up above, a perfect Nevada night sky stretched out forever, million stars all around. A few birds chirped softly, unsure about what to do with this strange, two-legged intruder. For a few moments, Sara just stood there, gazing at the horizon of the desert, the wind gently blowing, loosening her hair from its neat ponytail. Save for the birds, all was silent; no cars, no people talking, the sounds of the casinos miles away. Her mind drifted off to a conversation she'd had with Catherine once on the way to a case.
"Can you imagine living out here?" She'd asked, shaking her head in disbelief.
Sara had shrugged. "It's quiet."
"Quiet?" Catherine had said incredulously, "The town just lost five percent of its population."
A smile came unbidden on her lips, remembering her amusment at Catherine's obvious loathing of anything rural. How that had changed over the years. Shifting her weight slightly, she sat down, wincing as her knees creaked in protest after standing still for nearly an hour. She'd come out here before the sun set, a mistake on her part; her clock in the Denali was off by twenty minutes. There was a sudden stab in her heart thinking about that; Catherine had promised to fix it just ten minutes before it happened. Sara's fingers tightened around the small container she held in her arms. Pretty much any thought of Catherine did that to her. God it hurt so much, it was almost like a dull ache in her chest all the time.
But the pain was bittersweet. Any thought of Catherine brought joy as well as pain. Sara's smile widened as she thought back to the first time the dynamic had shifted in their otherwise tumultuous relationship. Her head had been spinning with the thought of Hank, his infidelity and her own stupidity at thinking they had something together when Catherine's voice had broken through her thoughts.
"You have any plans?" Her question was open, innocent.
Sara just stared ahead, trying desperately to keep it together. "Nope."
"Wanna get a beer?"
Sara looked to her. Catherine looked completely calm, not hinting at anything, just trying to make her feel better. Sara knew she could decline, say she wanted to go home and just listen to the scanner, but something inside her gave a little push forward. "Drive."
Sara sighed, lifting her head to look at the sky. The stars twinkled like eyes in the sky, looking down at her passively. That had been the big moment right there, agreeing to go out for a beer. When she looked back on it now, everything else seemed so small, so insignificant; her relationship with Hank, her attraction to Grissom, they all seemed to fade away with the rest of her past.
What would you think of me now?
So lucky
So strong
So proud
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance
But no one ever knew how much their relationship with each other had changed, not even Catherine herself. They'd become better colleagues, friends even, but never what Sara desired the most. It was her fault, she'd bever actually admitted her feelings for Catherine, never even acknowledged them. There was too much fear, too much apprehension about what Catherine's might've said if she told. She was too afraid that the older woman might've laughed in her face. Never had it occurred to her that Catherine might love her back.
After it happened, they'd found a letter written to Sara among her other personal belongings. Sara's hand drifted to her back pocket where the letter was contained, worn and creased from being read so many times. She could almost recite it by heart she'd read it so many times. The letter was short and to the point, as was Catherine's way, but full of love and compassion. In it, she asked Sara of two things. The first had been for Sara to take custody of Lindsey in her father's absence. Sara had been a bit fearful of that one, but was willing to do anything Catherine asked. The second request surprised her more than scared her. It was this request that had led her to the middle of the desert with a small, grey container in her hands.
If you were here with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one more time
A song for a heart so big God wouldn't let it live
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
Carefully, Sara opened the container and let the contents fly out into the wind, up into the sky, out into the world. Catherine's ashes. She'd asked Sara to spread her ashes in a place that stretched forever; either the ocean or the desert. Sara watched as the ashes were swept away in the sudden wind that had picked up. She carefully closed the top on the container and stood, brushing her pants off. Whispering a silent prayer for her friend, she headed back to the car.
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
So, what do you think? Please let me know by reviewing. If it sucks, let me know. If you like it let me know.