Disclaimer: No DBZ is owned by me. *Tra-lala*

A/N:

Wow! I had such a great response...you guys got me hyped up enough to drink another can of coke and write more! Woo! Thank you so much. All of you are so very awesome. *Boogies*

Mission: To Be, or Not to Be...A Woman??

Terms of Education

After numerous instances of Dende repeatedly smacking his head on the table as Popo took his last pair of twos, Dende admitted defeat in his fourth round of Go Fish. Mr. Popo, on the other hand, was jolly because Dende kept falling for the 'Look behind you! A dancing stork!' trick which permitted him to steal a peek at Dende's cards.

Dende, meanwhile, was beginning to question the existence of this 'dancing stork'.

"So, the proud Namek falls!" Mr. Popo crowed as he gathered up all the cards, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Dende rubbed his forehead, frowning at the welt that was forming from many collisions between his head and the table.

Before the defeated Guardian could respond, a familiar voice broke the silence.

"DENDE!!!"

Mr. Popo and Dende exchanged brief glances, their mouths formed into little 'o' shapes. Only one person could make THAT noise.

"Well-uh...you're being called, Master Dende!" Mr. Popo hurriedly chirped as he quickly shuffled up all the cards, idly dropping them into his pocket before anyone could see them. Dende blinked, nodded then took off to the open part of Kami's Lookout, nearly tripping on his Guardian's robe.

"Piccolo!" Dende greeted warmly, waving idly up at his Namek companion as he hurried out into the open sun. But something made him stop and look twice.

Piccolo looked POed.

Oh yes. He looked VERY POed.

Piccolo landed on the Lookout, his whole body quaking as his right eye twitched.

Thoughts processed through Dende's mind.

POed Piccolo + Eye twitch = bad things to come.

"Dende..." Piccolo's voice was low and gruff, almost a growl.

Dende hastily added that into the equation.

POed Piccolo + Eye twitch + Growling = Very, very bad things to come.

Subconsciously taking a step back, allowing individual beads of sweat to trail down his green-skinned face, Dende laughed nervously. "Uhm, yes...eh, what seems to be the matter, Piccolo?" In his moment of hesitation, Dende noted the way Piccolo had his cape folded around his chest and waist. Kinda looked that like that Greek goddess, Aphrodite. Well you know, except he was green and fully clothed and...

Piccolo threw off his cape.

...Had boobs?!?

Dende's eyes widened. This definitely did NOT add into the equation!

Hah..haha! Dende decided he must be seeing things. Piccolo with breasts? Unheard of. Must be a trick of the light causing two odd lumps to be poking just under Piccolo's shirt. "Well, um..." Dende spluttered, trying to look like a mature guardian. "Uhm...?"

Piccolo crossed his arms, trying himself to act mature. Who cared about dignity at a time like this? He had THINGS growing on him, probably all because of Dende, and he needed answers!

"Dende...explain..." Piccolo hastily jerked his finger at his chest, "...What THESE...are doing here..."

Okay...so maybe it wasn't a trick of the light.

"I...don't know, Piccolo...?!" Dende responded, quickly glancing around for an escape route. He was reminded of the time Piccolo had caught him after the itching powder incident. Bad memories, and painful at that.

"I know you had something to do with this..." Piccolo snapped, taking a step forward. Dende simultaneously took a step back.

"Well, hello Mister..." Mr. Popo stopped in mid sentence as he walked out onto the open marble, a tray in hand. "...Oh my..."

Piccolo's eye twitched again. "Dende...Mr. Popo...what is going on..." Oh, it was so hard to contain his anger. Too bad the eye twitching couldn't be helped.

Dende and Mr. Popo exchanged glances again. Both were immediately reminded of the vial.

Piccolo caught the glance. "What are you, Batman and Robin, partners in crime?!" Piccolo grumped.

"Actually, Batman and Robin FIGHT crime...EEK!" Dende squeaked as Piccolo suddenly phased in front of him, glowering down at him from beyond two mysterious lumps.

Piccolo addressed the guardian again. "Dende..." Growl. Hiss.

Words flooded out of Dende's mouth as he hastily explained the whole incident with the vial. No way did he want to be strung at the edge of Kami's Lookout from his undies again!

The words all blazed by Piccolo's mind, except three.

"...and well, you're a woman!!" Dende finished, taking large breaths.

There was a very long pause. The only sound was Mr. Popo occasionally scratching his arm. Hey, that genie had nothing to lose. He had kicked butt at Go Fish. If he was going to die today, at least he could die with dignity.

Meekly, Dende glanced up to catch Piccolo's eye.

"..." Piccolo turned, and walked a few feet before pausing again. His cape billowed idly a few feet away.

"Uhm...Piccolo?" Dende asked weakly. Memories came flooding back. Hanging upside down, the wind whipping at him...and dear God, those pigeons!

"...Please explain...the significance...of a woman..."

These words caught Dende off guard. "Huh..?"

Piccolo turned, his eye ceasing to twitch as horribly. "The spell of the vial should wear off...at least, that's what Kami says...though it's not sure when. But meanwhile...I'm stuck with the effects..." Eye twitch, "Of your inherent STUPIDITY..."

Mr. Popo was reminded of the stork trick and snickered.

"Well...er, a woman..." Dende was at a loss for words. He really didn't know that much about women. He was just a Namek!

"Is this all that is going to happen?" Piccolo asked, trying to make his voice calm as he motioned to his lovely new chest adornments.

Dende blinked blankly as Mr. Popo took up for him.

"I'm afraid not, Mister Piccolo sir," Mr. Popo said. "I've been on Earth for many years, and know a little bit more than you Namek kind do...I do believe there's more, I think."

"Like what?" Piccolo asked, a tinge of fear rising within him.

"Oh, well..." It was Mr. Popo's turn to be at loss for words. He didn't know that much about women himself. "Perhaps...perhaps you could talk to one of the Z senshi's females? I'm sure they could help you!"

Piccolo's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "Are you absolutely insane?!" he barked.

"That's a good idea!!" Dende seconded, laughing nervously as he rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, they ARE women, you know!"

"I don't want them to see me like this!" Piccolo yelped, exasperated. "I don't want ANYONE to see me like this!!"

Mr. Popo's mind raced for ideas. Even though he was a scheming, evil little genie, he still didn't want to see his friends in distress. "Maybe...we could buy...videos!"

Dende and Piccolo blinked. "Videos?"

"Yes!" Mr. Popo exclaimed, on a roll now. "You know, how humans have those educational videos! I'm sure they'll have SOME educational videos about women! I keep hearing how men say that they don't understand women, so there has to be videos!"

Piccolo glared daggers down at his chest. So this WASN'T the end?? These were bad enough to have aimlessly attached to him! "So, we should get these...videos? How are we supposed to do that?" Slight eye twitch.

"Well, we can get into contact with one of our friends!" Dende though aloud. "Maybe...oh, I know! Master Roshi!"

"The Turtle Hermit?!" Piccolo squeaked.

"I hear he has lots of things pertaining to females!" Dende said in defense.

"This idea could work," Mr. Popo cautioned. Piccolo sighed in defeat.

"Fine...let's get into contact with the Turtle Hermit."

A/N:

Hey again! I know, you're tired of listening to me. Oh well! I've actually been having a lot of fun with this. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to review and tell me how much you love/hate me! Oh yeah, and you can review to talk about the fic too...*Sweatdrop*