Disclaimer: No DBZ is owned by me. *Tra-lala*

A/N:

Hey! Sorry this took longer than expected. I've been really busy lately and suffering from the lack of iron in my blood (Causing me to be unusually tired and prone to injury--ow...) Plus the sort of lack of interest in the fic I've invested most of my time in, 'Collision'. But hey, can't let that get me down, right? Your reviews helped me out a lot with writing this next installment. So... Here's the next chapter--I hope you enjoy it!

Mission: To Be, or Not to Be...A Woman??

The First Term

Master Roshi was having a lovely time at home. His hobbit-like feet were propped up on a stool as he basked in the open rays of the sky, his sunglasses mounted lightly on his nose. Oh yes, was he sexy (Cough, cough). A very 'interesting' magazine had found its way into his hands, and he was reading it closely. Every minute or so, a few snickers would escape him.

Turtle, Roshi's long-time friend, sat on the sands of the beach and sweatdropped at his master. Didn't he ever want to do something with his life?

As if an answer to Turtle's earnest prayer, a green angel--with a smaller green angel struggling in a hand--landed on the beach of Kame Island.

Master Roshi's sunglasses flashed as he peeped over his magazine, instantly recognizing Piccolo and Dende. "Why, hello Piccolo! Dende!" Master Roshi greeted, quickly stuffing the magazine under his reclining beach chair. "What brings you out here?!" Nervous chuckle.

Piccolo let Dende go, which resulted in the young Namek smacking into the ground. Quickly jumping up, Dende spat sand out of his mouth, shot a glare at Piccolo and brushed off his robes. "Hello, Master Roshi," Dende welcomed with that fake-nice voice of his.

Piccolo watched a hermit crab idly scoot along the sand towards Dende, and thought to warn the young guardian--but, being the sadistic Namekian he is, Piccolo said nothing. Turning his attention to Master Roshi, Piccolo's voice was blunt and to the point. "I...-We- need your help."

Master Roshi perked an eyebrow. Piccolo needed his help? Now that was new. As the Turtle Hermit was contemplating this, his gaze fell to Piccolo's chest.

"Wha...WHOA!! Those are some nice honkers you got there!!" Master Roshi crooned.

Piccolo's face went twenty shades of red as he exploded. "STOP LOOKING, YOU DISGUSTING PERV, BEFORE I BLAST YOU INSIDE OUT!!"

Dende sweatdropped massively. The effects were starting to kick in. Piccolo even had that tone of VOICE like a female now! "Eh--Master Roshi! Please, listen!"

It took Roshi a minute to figure out it was abnormal for Piccolo to have this mysterious growth on his chest anyway. "Eh??!" Roshi looked from Piccolo, Dende, Piccolo's chest, and back again. "What's going on, is this some kind of trick??"

"Seems someone thought it was a PRANK," Piccolo snapped, glaring daggers at Dende.

Dende immediately felt very small and insignificant. "It's NOT a prank!" In a flash of breath, Dende explained everything to Master Roshi, still unaware of the crab that had lodged itself in his robes.

"And that's why we came to you!" Dende finished, fists clenched. Dang, he STILL had the sand taste in his mouth. Why didn't Popo have to come and endure this?! Just 'cause someone had to stay and watch the Look-Out didn't mean anything... Sneaky little rat of a genie.

Meanwhile, Mister Popo was watching Saturday morning cartoons. Even though it wasn't Saturday morning. How did that happen?

Back at the beach, things weren't getting any better.

"So...you need my help?" Roshi pondered, trying to keep himself from looking at Piccolo's 'new look'. He snickered. "I suppose I can help you out...Come in!" With a gnarled hand Roshi motioned in as he scurried inside the house.

Piccolo shot Dende a 'if something goes wrong, your hanging from the Look Out again' look as he followed Roshi inside. Dende gulped, halfway thinking about running for it...but then decided if he did THAT and Piccolo found him, he would be hanging from the Look Out butt-naked with no undies. And that was even worse. Darn those pigeons.

So, reluctantly, the young Namek followed his elder.

"Hey! Is that Piccolo?"

Piccolo froze upon entering the living room. Krillin's voice!! He had forgotten all about Krillin and 18 living here!

At that moment, the Namek felt like banging his head against a wall. Repeatedly. At his own stupidity.

Oh, Dende was enjoying this. Sadistic bast-

"Heyy! Piccolo!" Krillin welcomed as Piccolo, Roshi and Dende entered the living room of Kame House. 18 was standing in the corner, watching the TV out of the corner of her eye.

Piccolo was fighting the sweat that was trickling down his green skin. "Eh--hello, Krillin..." He folded his arms in such a way, so his clothing didn't make him seem so...'large'.

"Hello, Krillin!" Dende called merrily, waving at the ex-monk. Oh, he was one sadistic bast-

"So, whatcha up to?" Krillin asked, looking to Master Roshi. Krillin was wearing some slacks and a simple red Hawaiian shirt.

"Oh--ho-ho, nothing, Piccolo just asked me for some, eh...advice. Advice best given from the back of the house!" Roshi motioned for Piccolo and Dende to follow him as he scuttled back to his room. "Don't bother us!"

Krillin sweatdropped. "Well, I guess..."

Piccolo bolted after Roshi like a fox on a frying pan. Dende scuttled after him, grinning like some manic gerbil.

Roshi made Piccolo and Dende stop following him with a raise of his hand as he entered his room. "You just hold up right there! Now, NO ONE enters my room!" There was the sound of scuffling...and a few explosions.

Piccolo and Dende exchanged glances. Piccolo, despite all of his bravery, just wanted to shrink into a little corner and curl into a ball. And stay there.

Roshi came out a moment later, a small tape in his hand. The package of the tape was absolutely blank. Roshi held the tape up to the light, smirking from ear to ear. "Now...if THIS doesn't tell you about women, nothing will!" He giggled.

Piccolo sweatdropped. Well, if that tape was going to cause him to giggle like that, he'd just turn around and leave right then.

"Are you sure it will help Piccolo?" Dende asked skeptically. Piccolo almost snorted. Oh, so NOW the mini Namek was looking after Piccolo's well-being. Dende just wanted to get on his good side so good-ole Piccolo won't hand him from the Look-Out again.

Tough luck, my dear Dende. Wedgie Airlines are coming in for a landing soon.

"Well, if it don't help him, it'll sure show him SOMETHING!" Roshi howled in laughter. Grabbing Dende and Piccolo by the arm, Roshi dragged them into a joining room. In it sat some boxes of magazines, and a lone TV sitting in the center of the room.

"Just pop it in!" Roshi instructed. Turning to leave, he grabbed Dende and began to pull him out.

"Hey! I wanna see!" Dende protested.

"Sorry kid--you're too young, tee-hee..." Roshi giggled.

Dende's eyes widened. "Too young?! What kind of movie is that?!" But it was then that Roshi tugged the young Namek out and shut the door.

Piccolo glanced around the room, shrugged and sat cross-legged on the floor. He leaned forward and popped the tape in. Re-arranging himself a few times to get comfortable, Piccolo grunted.

Briefly he wondered if his butt looked big.

Maybe he needed to get a new wardrobe? The shades of purple and white might not be working for him...maybe some navy, or red. Maroon? No yellow, that would clash, he'd look like a sick rat...somehow.

"DEAR KAMI!" Piccolo screeched as the tape began to play.

Meanwhile, outside the door, Roshi was listening in with his ear pressed against the door. Oh, and did I mention giggling? (Ah! *Hides*). Dende was trying to pry the Master away from the door, so he can see...er, HEAR what was going on.

Random shrieks and crashes were heard from inside. And odd elephant noises...what that has to do with anything? One can only guess.

"Hee-hee! Now THAT's education!" Roshi howled. Dende huffed, placing his hands on his hips.

"I demand to know what's going on!" Dende demanded.

"Hey! What's up??" Krillin asked, suddenly appearing behind the Turtle Hermit and the young Namek. Both fell over in surprise.

"Wow! What's that noise?? Sounds like something's wrong!" Krillin reached for the door.

"Nooooo!" Roshi yelled, and watched Krillin's hand reach for the door in slow-motion.

Krillin pushed the door open, confused. "Eh-"

Crash.

"OH MY KAMI!!"

Krillin fainted on top of Roshi. The Turtle Hermit protested byt squeaking and shoving the monk off. 18 chose that moment to make her appearance.

"What the hel--?!? How dare you! You disgusting baka!!" 18 accused angrily, kicking Roshi away from her husband. "Hitting on men!! My very on husband no less!" She didn't mention she was peeved because her favorite soap opera was on re-runs.

Dende rubbed his head in confusion as Krillin jerked away. "P-Piccolo!!" Krillin squeaked, pointing inside. At that moment Piccolo bolted out of the room, pale-faced, and zipped out of the Kame House.

"?!" 18 peeped into the room, and her eyes bugged as she saw what was playing on the TV. "Piccolo was watching that?!"

Dende slapped his cheeks. This was hectic! He had to get out of here!

While 18, Roshi and Krillin were lost in confusion, Dende flickered out of Kame House as well. Piccolo was already well in the air, zooming out into the open sky towards Kami's Look Out with what seemed to be no intent of turning around and getting his companion. Dende huffed. "Fine then!" Gathering up ki, the young Guardian shot up from the beach and was flying well into the sky. He had to explain to Piccolo that he had no idea that was going to happen!

It was at that time, that the crab that had lodged itself in Dende's clothes earlier decided to make it's presence known.

"YEAAAHHH! AHH! AHH!" Dende squeaked, jerking wildly in the air as he attempted to pry the crab off of him.

Somewhere, on a beach, a little girl was standing with her dad. Looking up, the little girl pointed. "Look Daddy! It's a little green man!"

The Dad looked up, shading his eyes. "Well, by crikey...it is! I TRIED TO TELL THE GOVERNMENT THEY WERE REAL!" Whipping out a camera, the man began to snap pictures.

The girl just blinked, sweatdropped, and continued to play Beach-Side Barbie. At least it was Bigfoot this time.

A/N:

Another update, more chaos. What can all this nonsense amount to? Who knows? ^_^

Sorry it's taken my so long to update. A lot has been going on in my life as of late. Plus I've been extremely busy. But as usual, you're reviews--which are absolutely some of the funniest, greatest things I've ever read--helped me through. I apologize if this installment wasn't any good. Hopefully the next one, I'll be able to get out sooner!

Ciao.

P.S.: It has come to my attention that some of you, indeed, ARE banging her heads against walls and screeching about jelly beans. Next time you do this, please tape yourself. That way, I can get the tapes and laugh madly at what I'm making people do just out of pure insanity.

^_^ Just kidding.