This week we say 'Happy Birthday' to Mr. Rickman, who turns 59 on Monday 21st February - and (blushes) to me, because I blow out my birthday candles on the same day.
My many thanks to my betareader JessiokaFroka.
Chapter Nineteen
THE THIN BLUE LINE
Andi wasn't quite sure how you phoned in sick at Hogwarts, but she sent a note to Albus by floo the following morning, saying she was taking the day off, hoping that was the correct procedure.
She was in no fit state to face anyone. Her cheeks were pale, her eyes bloodshot and she was sick to her stomach with the pain of breaking-up with Severus.
How could she possibly ever face him again? How could all those intimate moments, those beautiful private times simply be swept aside as though they had never happened? How could she just stop loving him?
Every time these questions popped into her head, her eyes would well up again until her head ached and nothing could make her warm.
She didn't bother answering the door when someone knocked around five, she just pulled the sheets further up her face and eventually slept.
-
"Andrea?"
Andi woke to the muffled voice from outside.
"Andrea, it's Sylvia. Are you all right?"
Slowly, groggily, she slipped out of bed and went to the door.
"Sylvia, I'm fine," Andi croaked through the door. "I've got a bug or something. I'll be OK. Just let me rest for the weekend."
"I've brought you some soup."
Reluctantly, Andi opened the door.
"Gods preserve us, you look like shit!"
"Yes, well that sums up how I feel."
Sylvia looked as though she expected to be invited in.
"Look, I'm really not feeling very well," she said truthfully. "I don't want you to catch anything."
"At least take the soup."
"Soup? What time is it?"
"Just after lunch, Saturday."
Andi took the lidded-cup.
"And you know I'm just next door if you need anything."
"Yes. Thanks, Sylvia."
Andi closed the door and sat down in the armchair. She didn't know how long she sat there staring into space, but when she eventually lifted the lid on the cup, the soup was barely warm.
Absently she sipped it, staring into the fire - feeling its heat and wondering why she was still so cold.
She put the cup aside, the soup half gone. She really didn't have the stomach to eat anything. In fact...
Andi ran to the bathroom as the soup reappeared.
-
It happened about midday on Sunday.
She was lying, as she had all weekend, in the bed, staring at the canopy above, thoughts of happier times when he'd shared the bed with her forcing their way into her head when, out of the blue, something occurred to her; something she couldn't believe hadn't occurred to her before now. She got out of bed and flew to the calendar on the wall.
Shit!
Her first instinct was to run to Severus, but then remembered they were no longer together. Who then? Who could she run to? Complete panic assailed her at the realisation there was no one, no one in the whole Castle.
LIZ!
Andi grabbed her dressing-gown and hurried up the many stairs, trying to find the Owlrey; and of course, became completely lost.
There was someone up ahead. Thank God, he didn't look like a Slytherin. She called to him. He turned.
A sixth-form boy. Messy dark hair, startling green eyes behind round glasses. He looked shocked and it was then she realised how much of a mess she must look.
"Um, I'm trying to find the Owlrey."
"It's this way. I'll show you. Er, Professor, is everything all right?"
"Yes, yes. I'm feeling a bit under the weather, but I need to send an urgent letter to someone."
He led her up some more stairs until they reached the owl tower. Andi shivered and pulled her dressing gown closer as the cold air blew in through the unglazed windows.
"Do some birds fly faster than others?" she asked him.
"Yes. The school owls are colour coded. If you have an urgent message, it's usually best to use a Screech Owl." He gestured to one, perched high in the tower and it flew down to them.
Andi checked her note one last time:
"Liz,
Shall be at your flat within the hour.
Please be there.
It's urgent.
Love, Andi"
She rolled up the parchment, her fingers trembling as she tried to attach it to the owl's leg.
"Would you like me to do that for you, Professor?"
"Yes please."
They watched the owl fly off. She turned to the boy.
"Thank you for your help, er..."
"Potter. Harry Potter."
"Harry. Thank you."
-
Forty minutes later, showered and dressed, Andi clattered into Liz's fireplace.
"Jesus! I'm never going to get used to you doing that." Liz helped Andi out of the grate.
"Bathroom..!" Andi barged past Liz and went scuttling to the toilet, heaving.
"I assumed you'd get used to traveling that way," said Liz, following her. "But you seem to be getting worse."
"Yes, well," said Andi, wiping her mouth on toilet tissue. "There may be another reason why I'm sick."
"What do you mean?"
"We need to go shopping..."
-
"It's positive."
Andi felt the blood drain from her face as she stared at her friend. For a moment she couldn't remember what 'positive' meant. Was that 'yes' or 'no'.
"Are you sure?" she whispered with difficulty.
"Yes, Hon," said Liz, gently. "Look - two blue lines, clear as day."
Andi stared at the two little windows in the pregnancy test stick, each with a thin blue line clearly visible. How could such a small thing carry such mammoth news? This couldn't be right, surely?
Liz was watching her, and Andi knew she was waiting for her reaction before saying anything.
"I don't know how this has happened." she said, shakily.
"Did you forget your pill?"
"No, I came off the pill." She saw Liz's face. "We were using a wizard method."
"Oh dear."
"Severus said it was fail-safe, that's why I can't believe-"
"Well, obviously it isn't as safe as he assumed," said Liz.
"He said if it failed it was the fault of the wizard not the method." Andi stood up and walked to the fireplace. "I trusted him. I trusted him. He was as adamant about this as me. I can't believe he's let me down."
Andi meant every word. She would never in a million years believe that Severus would be so irresponsible - especially over something as important as this.
"Well, obviously he has."
Andi felt bound to agree. All the evidence was there, in the little plastic stick in her hand, but...
"No, you don't understand, Liz. He would never forget, never."
Andi sat back down. They were silent for a moment and then Liz said,
"Look, why don't we work out when it happened? Perhaps that will help." She went to her handbag and brought out her filofax. "When was your last period?"
"I think it was the eleventh or twelfth."
Liz began to count and then looked up. "Of December?"
"Yes."
Liz gave her a funny look and went back a few pages before counting again. "So that would bring us to...Christmas."
Andi's mind flew over the events of Christmas and remembered her shoe piercing Severus' shoulder.
Then remembered something else.
"Oh my God!"
"You've remembered."
"It's my fault!" Andi dropped her head into her hands, feeling overwhelmed with guilt. "I put a spell on him."
"You what!"
Andi looked up at Liz. "I tapped him on the head with my wand and accidentally put a spell on him. It made him all...light-hearted and... reckless ...he dragged me behind a tapestry and...It's all my fault."
The two women were silent for a while.
"Andi," said Liz, eventually. "If your last period was two weeks before Christmas - that makes you nearly two months pregnant." Andi looked at her as Liz continued, "Don't think I'm being funny or anything but, how could you be nearly three weeks late and not notice?"
"I haven't been very regular since coming off the pill. I...things have been a bit frantic, I guess I've had my mind on other things and, I assumed I was sick because I was worried. Severus' home was destroyed by an attack; the stepmother of one of my pupils was murdered, and..." Liz was looking more and more shocked. Andi gave a sob and burst into tears. "Sev...Severus broke up with me."
Liz's arms came around her and she clung to her friend and cried.
"He's going to hate me," she sobbed. "This is the last thing he needs. He...he told me...it had been just for...sex - I meant n..nothing...to him at all." A quiet 'bastard' was whispered by Liz as she hugged her tighter. Andi's body shook with sobs. "Liz - I can't go through with this, I just can't."
"Andi," said Liz, softly. "What are you saying? That you want to terminate?"
"What else can I do?" wailed Andi in despair. "It's all too complicated. He doesn't want me - or it. The scandal would be too great at school - I'd have to leave...I'd have to come back to the Muggle world-"
"You have to talk to him."
"NO!" Andi stood up in horror. "After what he said, I can't go back to him and tell him I'm pregnant - it'd be too humiliating. He mustn't even know about it. He wouldn't want to know about it. He hates kids, he won't care. He'd agree this is the best way to deal with it..."
"By 'it' I take it you mean your baby?"
Andi froze. She looked at Liz. "What?" she whispered, her hands moving to her stomach, instinctively, protectively.
"Your baby, Andi. It's not his inconvenience - it's your baby. Are you seriously thinking of getting rid of your baby?"
"Since when were you anti-abortion?" spluttered Andi.
"I'm not," said Liz. "But I know my best friend; and I know it's not something she could ever bring herself to do."
Andi covered her eyes. A fresh wave of tears flooded out as she realised Liz had spoken the truth. Liz stood up and led her back to the sofa.
"You have to tell him, Hon."
Andi nodded. "I know."
-
Albus was waiting for her at the other end of the floo. He did not look amused.
Andi stood up, brushing the soot from her robes and swallowing the bile rising inside.
"Would you care to explain why you were off the premises without my permission, Andrea?" he said.
Right now, no she wouldn't.
"With all due respect Albus, I'm a grown woman and I am not a prisoner in this school-"
"However you are under Hogwarts protection-"
"Albus, I'm sorry, but I'm really not in the mood. You can fire me tomorrow if you like, but right now I have other things on my mind and I need to talk to Severus."
"Severus is not here. Did he not explain to you...?"
"I haven't spoken to Severus. We've...ended our relationship so no, he wouldn't have explained anything. Where is he?"
Albus sat on the sofa and indicated Andi should sit also.
"When a House, such as the House of Snape, is attacked, the senior members of the family are, traditionally, duty bound to defend their name and all it stands for. Severus has decided to act upon that duty."
"What do you mean?" gasped Andi, frightened. "You mean he's gone after...but isn't that what they want him to do? He'll be in too much danger."
"I know, my dear," said Albus, his voice softening as Andi's distress increased. "I told him that and more, but he was determined, and I have no authority to override his duty."
"He could be killed."
Albus put his hand over hers. "Or he could return tomorrow," he smiled, encouragingly. "Are you still feeling poorly, my dear? You are looking very tired."
"The floo makes me queasy," she said. "Albus, I'm sorry I left without your permission. I did send you a note but I couldn't wait for an answer - this was urgent."
"Yes," he said, looking back into her eyes. "I imagine it was; but you took a great risk leaving without wizard protection. Please do not do it again." He stood up. "Now I suggest you rest. I shall let you know the moment I hear anything from Severus."
Andi went to bed and tried to sleep.
Why on earth had Severus done such a gung-ho thing? It didn't seem right; and to put himself deliberately in danger.
She turned over and wondered when he would return - and what the hell she was going to say to him when he did.
Queen of the Faeries1 and Kristi M - You'll never know how happy I was to learn you are both still reading. Thank you so much for letting me know. I thought I'd lost you both way back. I was truly touched and delighted to know you're still with me. It put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.
Britchick - That goes for you, too. I'm so glad you enjoyed MwtB. I hope this second part keeps you entertained too.
May-Luna - Thanx for your review. I am pleased you liked that line. I did wonder if it would work.
Thouandl - I felt Snape's character was getting a bit loose (although obviously Andi would see a different Sev to everyone else). It felt good to bring the original back, even at Andi's expense.
Helena Oe - Because he's Snape, I suppose. As J.K. has warned 'you shouldn't think he's too nice.'
Kerichi - You skim through my sex? How dare you! (jk). Yes, the old standards by Ella are very apt at this point in the story, aren't they.
Aries1 - Thanx Aries1. I love your 'to the point' reviews.
Josie - Oh, I have some hideous cliffhangers coming up, I warn you.