Author's Note: Hey, guys. Sorry it's been so long, but I have a free day and I thought I'd update this. I know there's only two chapters left, so I figured I should hurry up and finish this one, so I won't have to worry about it anymore, since I already have a lot of others ones on the go. Anyway, this is going to be the last chapter from Haley's POV, just so you guys know. I hope you enjoy it.
-OTH-
Haley's POV
I'm finally home. After what feels like a year of my life has gone by, that son of a bitch that likes to call himself a doctor, finally let me leave. God, if I have anything to say about it, I'm never going to see the inside of a hospital again. I just hope that those stupid sessions that they scheduled for me with that therapist aren't in the hospital. I'd take a psyche ward over the hospital. Brooke and Peyton already agreed to come with me to the sessions when the doctor suggested that they should start seeing someone too. I feel horrible that what happened to me is affecting them the way it is. They're going to miss school, start going to therapy, but at least they're talking again that in some strange, self punishing way, it makes this whole thing seem worth it. If this whole situation taught me one thing, it's that I have the greatest best friends in the whole entire world. Who would have thought a month and a half ago, that I'd be best friends with the two most popular girls in school? Not me and probably not them either. Yeah, it completely sucks that it took Nathan raping me to finally see how lucky I am to have Brooke and Peyton in my life. Not to mention that I have the greatest 'mom' anyone could ever ask for. I didn't always have the best life, but I'm starting to make the best of it. I may not have a boyfriend, which considering what happened with my last one, I should be grateful, and most of my family may be completely useless, with the except of my big sister, but I do have more than most people have. I have a 'mom' who loves me more than my own does, a sometime slutty sister who has a heart of gold and two best friends that care more about me than I care about myself most of the time. It may not seem like much, but it's more than I've ever had and it makes me sick to know that I have Nathan to thank of it.
-OTH-
"Why did he do it?" I asked, staring at Brooke. She refuses to look at me as I ask the question, and for a split second, I regret asking her. I don't know what I'm expecting to hear, it can't be anything good, but I just need to know.
"Haley, please," Brooke pleads with me, finally looking me in the face. Her eyes are filled with pain and if I didn't know any better, I'd say that she looks like she's about to cry. "You don't want to know."
"Yes, I do," I disagree with her. There's a part of me that really doesn't want to know, my head is telling me that it's a bad idea to continue to push her on this, but I need to know. I'll never get over it if I don't. "I need to know, Brooke. Tell me."
"I can't," she says, her voice quivering. Wow, she doesn't even look like she's lying. The obvious thought would be that she was just saying that to get out of this whole thing, but she seriously looks like she's incapable of saying it.
"Yes, you can," I assured her. I shift in my position on the bed slightly, pushing myself further down the bed so I'm closer to her. I'm sitting on the edge of it now, my legs dangling over the edges. I'm closer to Brooke, but still far enough away so we both have our space. "Brooke, I want to know. I'll you have to do is say the words."
"You have no idea, Hales," she tells me. Does she really think that I'll be surprised at anything he has to say? He's a dick; I've known this since forever, he raped me for God's sake. I'm not going to be surprised at his reasoning for his action. Hell, if I want to be honest with myself, I probably already know what he said. I just want to hear it from Brooke's mouth to be sure. "You're better off not knowing."
"You don't know that."
"I do," she argues. I narrow my eyes a little to focus on her hands. They're shaking. Aw, Brookie. I fight the urge to wrap her up in a hug. "Going there was a mistake. If I could erase the things he said, I would do it in an instant. You don't want to know, you're better off not knowing."
"Maybe so," I say quietly. She is right. I see a bit of relief flash on her face before she sees me and realizes that I'm not changing my mind. "But I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what I did to deserve what he did to me."
"You didn't do anything," she quickly answers before I have a chance to continue. I smile softly at her, thankful that she's still strong on her opinion in that area. Though, I'm not too sure how I feel about it. I stand up on wobbly legs and walk closer to her. She moves over in the fuzzy purple chair to make room for me. I plop down beside her. Wow, my ass must be getting bigger, cause it's pretty squished.
"Tigger," I begin, covering her hand in mine. I can see her shoulders slump because she knows that she's lost. She'll tell me because I'm going to ask her to. She can never say no to me and she knows that. Especially when I give her the puppy dog face. "I promise that I can take it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." I kinda feel bad that I'm guilt tripping her into telling me, but there's no other way because Brooke Davis is one of the most stubborn people I know, besides me, she probably is the most stubborn person I know. I know that what she's going to say is only going to make me feel worse than I already do, but there's no turning back. It's like what they say, you have to hit rock bottom before you can get back up again. How sad is it that after all I've been through, I still haven't hit rock bottom yet? "Why did he do it?"
"Because he's Nathan Scott," she answers, her voice very low. If I hadn't had moved over to share the chair with her, I probably wouldn't have been able to her because he voice was so low. It takes me a minute to let her words sink in. Finally, it hits me and it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
"That's what he said?" She doesn't say anything or do anything for a moment, just sits in silence, biting her bottom lip and staring at the opposite side of her room. After a moment, she finally nods her head.
"Yes," she chokes out, letting her lip free to speak. She shallows and turns to look at me. I find that as long as I'm watching her face and focus on trying to figure out what she's feeling, than I don't have to think about the way I'm feeling. "He said that he did because he could, because he always gets what he wants. He wanted you and…"
"And now he has me," I finish, knowing exactly how Nathan's mind works. As sick as her answer makes me feel, I can't say that I didn't expect it. Nathan was never a very complex person, and now that I think about, I can't really think of any other possible reasons he would have to rape me the way he did.
"He doesn't own you," she protests, her voice getting a little stringer. I wish I could believe her words, but I have to admit that now a part of me, a big part at that, will always belong to him. I can't bring myself to agree or argue with her, so I simply nod my head, letting her decide what to make of that. She waits a moment, thinking something over. A really bad feeling washes over me.
"There's more, isn't there?" She doesn't say anything, just nods her head, the tears finally escaping their prison and streaming down her pale cheeks. Do I want to know what else the bastard had to say? I mean, I know why he did it, what else do I need to know. One more bad thing and I just might break, but there's just something inside me that needs to know everything; even if it kills me. "What is it? What else did he say?"
"He didn't say anything," she begins, her voice and tone affected by the tears that were still falling. She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks with her sleeve. "There's this girl, Courtney. She was outside the door with Tim at the party and kinda gave me the heads up about what was going on."
"Was she the one that brought the pants in?" I question. That was one of the only things I remember from between when Brooke barged into the room and I woke up in the hospital later on with Luke. Brooke nods. "I remember that."
"Well, she was at the hospital," she continues. She was? I would have liked to see her, thank he for giving Brooke the tip, whatever it was. She may have saved my life, and I could never be more thankful. "She was visiting her sister, I think. Anyway, I ran into when I was on my way up to your room, after I talked to the cops. I asked her what she had told the cops when she was talking to them and…" She trails off and looks down at our hands.
"Tigger, what did she say?" I ask as I tugged on her hand gently to get her attention back up on me. She looks up into my eyes and she looks completely lost. The unshed tears glisten in her eyes and I can't believe how beautiful she still looks. Even now, when she crying and almost broken, she's still gorgeous. I wonder if I looked the same to her when I was in the hospital.
"There was this bet," she begins. Yep, defiantly don't want to know where this is going. Too late now. "Nathan had bet Tim that he couldn't get you to sleep with him. She tried to stop what happened, but Tim wouldn't let her." I break eye contact with her when I feel the tears spring to my eyes. I thought I was done with crying, I want to be, but things just won't stop.
"So," I asked, trying to get passed the lump in my throat. I stare at the ground of a moment longer before looking up at her, tears running down my face, just like her. I can tell that this is hurting her too. "He's been planning this from the start? Everything was just a big lie?"
"Baby," she begins, her voice full of desperation as she tries to pull me to her. I let her take me in her arms for a moment, more for her then me. She's one of those people that need to make others feel better. She'll be an awesome mom. Mom; something that I'll never be. Way to make you're feel worse, James. "I'm so sorry, Hales. This never should have happened to you. God, if there's anyone in the world that deserves this less…"
"Tigger, can I…" I start, but my voice cracks and I stop. I swallow and start again, pulling out of her protective arms. I can't do this right now. "Do you think you could just give me some time alone? Please?"
"I really don't think that you should be alone right now." I know I shouldn't, but I want to be. I am so sick of Brooke and Peyton and Karen seeing me cry. I don't want them to feel like they have to protect me for the rest of their lives. They aren't always going to be here for me, I'm going to have to deal with this sometime. I might as well start now.
"Please, Brooke?" I ask again, trying my best to make my voice as steady as possible. I can tell that she doesn't want to and a part of me is hoping that she'll ignore my pleas and stay anyway, but I know she won't. She'll do what I ask her to because she loves me.
"Fine," she whispers. She stands up, holding out her hand for me to take. Yeah, the bed is probably a better place for me. I take her hand and she leads me over to the bed. "I'll just be downstairs with Peyton and Karen, okay? If you need me, or them, just yell and we'll be up here in the blink of an eye."
"Thanks." She nods, brushes some hair out of my face and kisses my forehead.
"Here," she says, reaching under her bed to pull something out. I smile when I see what she has. I haven't seen him since the first night I was here. I had forgot I even brought him. "I know you want to be alone, but at least let Mr. Waffles keep you company, will you?"
"Okay," I whisper, taking my favorite stuffed animal from her hands and burring him in a huge hug. She smiled at me, ruffled my hair and moved towards the door. She pulled it open and just before she fully stepped out; she turned back and smiled sadly at me.
"I love you." I know she does, but it never hurts to hear it. I smirk back at her, letting her know that I do know that. For some reason, her words bring more tears to my eyes. Sensing that she needs to go, she quickly slips out the door, closing on her way, leaving me alone in my pain.
"What do you think, Mr. Waffles?" I asked him, looking into his cute face. I've had him since I was little; Karen got it for me for my birthday, the first year that I knew her. He always made me feel better. "Will I ever be okay again?" I don't know what I was expecting, but he remained silent, his black eyes staring back at me. I laugh bitterly and hug him again, waiting for the tears to stop.
-OTH-
A knock on the door brings me out of my sleep. Normally, I would be upset that someone woke me up, but since I was really getting tired of that nightmare, I'm not really complaining here. I rub my eyes and the knocking continues. I glance over at the clock and I'm surprised to find that I've been asleep for about three hours.
"I don't want to talk, Tigger," I call out weakly, hoping that Brooke or Peyton or Karen, whoever it is, will just give it a rest. I know that they're worried about me, and that means more to me than they know, but I just need to be alone for a little while, to sort things out. "Please, just go away."
"Hay, it's me." Was that who I think it was? There's no possible way that she could be here, she's out of state at college. She wouldn't even come home for Christmas when mom and dad asked her to.
"Taylor? Is that you?" I sit up in Brooke's bed; Mr. Waffles is still against my chest. I guess she takes that as an invitation inside, because the door slowly opens and a blonde head of hair comes into view.
"Hey, Haley-bub," she smiles sadly at me. Her eyes aren't as vibrate and definite as I remember them to be. She looks sad and upset, empty. As bad as it makes me feel to know that I'm probably the one that caused her to feel the way she does, I can't help but smile brightly at the name. God, it's been so long since someone has called me that.
"Tay," I cry. With strength I didn't know I had, I get off the bed and run towards her. She quickly shuts the door and catches me in her welcoming arms. We slowly sink to our knees on the ground and we're both in tears.
It feels so good to be in my big sister's arms again. I can't remember the last time that I felt this safe. I love Brooke and Peyton to death, but there's just something so calming about Taylor that makes me almost forget about everything concerning Nathan. That's probably because she has no connection to Nathan or the Scott family at all, like Brooke, Peyton and Karen do.
Taylor has always been there for me, whenever I needed her. Sure, there are times when I can't stand her. Hell, out of all of us, I think we fight the most, but that's probably just because we're the two youngest ones. Vivian and Quinn bad mouth her all the time, saying that she's such a screw up and she's an embarrassment to the family, but she's defiantly my favorite sibling.
I remember when a couple years ago, when I was dating my first boyfriend. He broke my heart and Taylor came home to find me crying in her room. She didn't say anything, just asked where he lived and what his name was. She came back with the guy by the collar and forced him to apologize to me. Since that day on, she's been my protector.
Now I remember why I was so sad when she moved out to go to college.
"Come on, baby," she whispered into my ear. I can tell that she's crying. "Let's go over to the bed." She wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me up and into a standing position, helping back to the bed just like Brooke had done before. I crawl back to the top so I'm leaning against the headboard and she follows suite. Once she's in place, I snuggling into her side, wrapping my arms around her stomach and laying my head on her shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, my voice muffled some by her shirt. I feel wrap her arms around me and kiss my hair. She starts running her hand through my hair.
"Karen called me last night," she answers in a low, calming voice. "She said she couldn't get a hold of mom and dad, or any of our other dead beat siblings, and she thought you might want some family around."
"You have no idea," I mumble. I'll have to thank Karen for calling her when I see her next time. I can't believe that I didn't even think to call Taylor. Then again, even if I did think of it, I wouldn't have called; I won't want to bother her. "I thought you weren't coming back home. That's what you told mom at Christmas."
"Are you kidding?" she asked, genuine surprise in her voice. "When Karen told me what happened, I practically ran out of my dorm. I didn't even think twice, just jumped in my car and started driving home." God, I love her.
"Have I ever told you that I love you?" I ask as I pull away from her embrace so I can see her pretty face. She flashes me that gorgeous smile that got her out of so much trouble when we were younger.
"I'm sure you have," she teases me. "There is this time that I vaguely remember you telling me that. I think it was after that time I beat the crap out of Steven Fox for breaking up with you." She tightens her hold on me as she realizes that the last thing I need to be thinking about is a different boy that hurt me.
"Thanks for coming, Tay," I whisper, changing the subject before she has a change to apologize. "I love Brooke and Peyton more than I ever thought I could, but there are just times where only my big sister can make me feel better."
"I know how you feel." She does? I can't picture her ever needing Viv or Quinn. "There are times when I need my baby sister too." Aw, she can be the sweetest thing when she wants to be. Other times she can just be a brat. This is definitely the first one. Suddenly, she gets a serious look on her face and I know what's coming. "You have no idea how much I want to hunt that bastard down and rip him apart with my bare hands."
"Believe me, I know." She's not the only one that wants to kill Nathan, she'll just have to wait in line, and it's a long one. I wish she hadn't brought this up; I was enjoying joking around with her. It was like old times. Those damn tears are starting to creep back up again and as much as I try to hold them back, they win out just like they always do. She doesn't hesitate a spilt second, just wraps me up in her arms again and kisses my hair over and over.
"You're going to be okay, baby," she whispers, her own tears coming back as well. "I'm here now, I'll protect. Nobody's ever going to hurt you again. I promise." I want to laugh, just giggle like a little girl. That's what she said when Steven Fox dumped me in grade nine and look how well she delivered on that promise.
It's all a lie, everything. I'll never be okay again.
-OTH-
Okay, so that's all for now. Also, I've changed my mind. Again. I know, I know, am I ever going to end this? I will, I promise, but I think I'm going to have two more chapters. I don't know why, but I just really want to do a chapter from Taylor's POV, so I think that's going to be the next chapter, then the last one in Peyton's POV, I hope that's okay. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter. Thanks.