A/N: hey, this is one of my first more serious fics, so go easy. It's rated for all the graphic scenes in the begining of this chapter. Enjoy the rollercoaster ride.

I do not own any of the characters of Final Fantasy VIII.

Back in the Day

Chapter one:

Seifer ran through the halls of Balamb, screaming bloody murder.

He had a gun in his hand, and everyone was running from him. Random shots were heard, as a teacher was running down the hall infront of him. She ran into the library where many students were studying for their final exams for Quistis' class.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! UNDER THE TABLES! HIDE!" The teacher yelled. No one believed the teacher, and just still sat there and studied. Until they heard gun shots and people running and screaming past the library. All the students scrambled under the tables and onto the floor. By now the teacher was at the phone dialing 911.

Seifer ran into the Library and shot random people and ran out. The teacher was on the floor in shock from loss of blood. She had been shot near the stomach just above her abdomen.

"911 what is your emergency? Hello? Hello?" there was a click and the phone began to beep. All the students that had survived the encounter with Seifer in the library sat there holding their breath to see if he would come back. He never did. Night fell, and they decided that it was safe to come out. What they saw was something they would never forget.

"Oh my God." Rinoa said as she stared at the dead bodies laying on the floor. There were at least fifty just in that one hallway. Seifer really had had a bad day. Rinoa ran to Squalls dorm to see if he was okay.

"Squall answer the door." Rinoa said quietly to herself as she banged on his door. After a few seconds Squall came to the door rather drowsily. He wondered why Rinoa had blood splattered on her.

"What's wrong Rin? What happened?" Squall said as he looked outside his door. Squall was shocked when he saw the bodies lying on the floor.

"Who could do such a thing?" Squall said in disbelief.

"It was Seifer, he went on a rampage and almost killed the entire school." Rinoa said as Ellone came running up to Rinoa and Squall.

"Ellone, thank god you're all right." Rinoa said as Ellone took them to where the other part of the gang was.

Selphie, Irvine, Zell, and Quistis were all hiding behind the counter in the kitchen. Unfortunately Zell didn't know the intensity of the shootings. He was just munching away on his hotdogs.

"Hey guys you need to come help me search for anyone still alive, and we need to do a dead check for everyone." Squall said as everyone who was behind the counter saw what exactly had happened.

'How could someone do a thing like this?' Quistis thought to herself. She walked around inspecting everyone.

"Seifer, he went mad, and I guess he decided that everyone else needed to pay." Rinoa said as Quistis' eyes went wide.

"Seifer did this?" Quistis asked. She was confused of why Seifer would have done anything so hurtful.

' "Seifer, you wouldn't hurt anyone would you?" Quistis asked Seifer who was eating his food at the table. He was a nice eater, better than Zell to say the least. His perception of eating was 'eat until you choke' which he did quite often. "No of course I wouldn't hurt anyone, I wouldn't dare hurt someone even if I was truly mad." Seifer said as Quistis just stared at him and the rest of the gang came up and joined them to eat.'

Quistis wandered down the halls of dead bodies, and charred walls. She had never seen such a horrid sight. She tried to picture what might have happened, but everytime she did, she just couldn't stand the images she saw. She walked out front door and saw the worst sight she had ever seen.

Quistis screamed and began to cry.

"QUISTIS!" Ellone screamed, thinking that Seifer who could still very well be running around the halls hurt Quistis. The gang all followed Ellone to the front door, and saw the weeping Quistis who had fallen to her knees, and cried in her hands. They looked up to see what she had seen. They all gasped.

Seifer had hung himself on the tree, and he was bleeding down his face, with one large bullet hole in his skull. It was as if he had hung himself and then shot himself to die faster.

Quistis sat there talking to herself softly trying to calm her shattered heart. Ellone, Selphie, and Rinoa went over to comfort Quistis.

"I.. I never got to tell him how much I cared." Quistis said in between breaths.

"It's okay Quistis, Seifer would have done this no matter what." Rinoa said as Quistis looked up and began to become angry.

"No, he wouldn't have, he would have loved me, and known that life was worth living for, not for killing." Quistis said as she stood up and ran off.

'Why did he do this? He couldn't have possibly been this miserable. I tried desperately to reach out to him, to love him. I wished that I knew what I know now. I truly do wish. Seifer was one of my best friends. Yes he may have been a little secluded sometimes, but I thought I was giving him the best of life.' Quistis thought as she ran back to her dorm. She ran past Cid, who turned to look at her, and worried that she was hurt.

Quistis ran all the way to Seifer's dorm. There were advantages to being an instructor. She had keys to every dorm, so she could get easy access to each room. She uneasily unlocked the door, and pushed it open gently.

The door cracked just a little as Quistis had to turn away from the room. It was too painful. All these memory's coming back to her, about her and Seifer.

' "I consider you a friend Quistis, and I can trust you right?" Seifer spoke to her. "Yes of course you can trust me." Quistis said as Seifer gave her a big hug and what she saw of a smile. Seifer opened his door just enough to get through, and Quistis slid in after him.

His room was completely the opposite of what she was expecting. His room, was much of what she would expect from Selphie. "You can't tell anyone about my room okay?" Seifer said as gave her another glimpse of a smile. "I promise I wont tell anyone." Quistis said as she held up her right hand and began to giggle.'

That one memory just threw Quistis in an emotion loop. One moment she missed Seifer, she felt lonely. The next she was angry at herself for letting him go down a wrong path.

"How could I?" Quistis said as she tried to figure out what she was mad at. She was so outraged that she fell against the charred wall and slid to the floor. She was tearing up again in her frustration and saw that Seifer's door had creaked open just a little more.

It looked so dark and dreary she couldn't bear to think that once Seifer had been happy just like Selphie, and now he was dead because of his own suicide.

Quistis crawled closer to the door. More memories crept into her mind.

' "Quistis, can I take you out for dinner some night? Maybe tomorrow night, I only have tomorrow night free from training." Seifer said as he sipped on his coke at lunch.

"Sorry Seifer, I have to work on my Semester finals tomorrow with some of the other instructors." Quistis said as Seifer looked down and finished eating his food quickly.

"I'm sure you can get out of training some night for me right?" Quistis asked as Seifer looked up at her. He looked as if she had ripped out his heart. Seifer ran off trying to hold back his feelings.

Quistis felt so confused. She had tried to get together with him some other time, but he ran off.

'What should I do?' Quistis thought to herself as she sat there alone eating the last bite of her hotdog very slowly.'

"Seifer, what have you done?" Quistis said slowly as she was now standing halfway in Seifer's dorm. She almost passed out at the sight.

The room had an eerie feel to it. It didn't help that Seifer was now dead. Quistis felt as if she could pass out at any minute.

Rinoa came up to Quistis very slowly. She tried not to scare Quistis, but Quistis still jumped out of her thoughts.

"Quisty, I'm really sorry." Rinoa said as Quistis turned around and cried on Rinoa's shoulder.

"I miss him so much. I blame myself for the things that he did. I could have helped him, but I didn't." Quistis said as she began to cry harder.

"I'm going to miss him too." Rinoa said as she began to cry also. Another memory was beginning to take over Quistis.

'"Hey Quisty, have you seen Seifer lately? He's disappeared." Selphie said as Quistis thought about what had happened a few days earlier. She had turned Seifer down, and he was heartbroken.

"No I haven't seen him for a few days, but if you would like, I can check up on him." Quistis said as Selphie began to cheer up.

"That would be great!" Selphie said as she bounced up and down and made her way out of the cafeteria.

Quistis had gotten to Seifer's door, but didn't knock hard enough to be heard.

"Seifer I'm sorry I let you down!" Quistis screamed, still crying on Rinoa's shoulder. Rinoa jumped a little at Quistis' outburst, and tried to calm down her dear instructor.

"It's ok Quisty." Rinoa said as she loosened her grip on Quistis and backed away. The two girls looked at each other. They were a wreck.

Rinoa slightly laughed, which made Quistis giggle also.

'How can I be laughing at a time like this?' Quistis thought as she immediately stopped laughing. Rinoa looked scared, and comforted Quistis some more.

"I wish I could go back and fix what I did to him." Quistis said as Rinoa gasped. Quistis knew what Rinoa was thinking and suddenly pulled away.