Chapter 5
First Born
I will keep my promise to him. I must keep my promise. Those words echoed in my mind as I stood in the center of my Honored Father's Great Hall, the stench of magic and treachery still lingering. The court faces I had grown to know turned to me questioningly. After what had just transpired I was certain they would never do the same to my Father again. As they waited for my hesitant direction, my thoughts turned back to my sixteenth birthday when Father indirectly decreed I would take my place in his stagnant court. When I arrived at Castle Hafodan I was only planning on humoring a few of Father's extravagant whims. I would become one of the fifty nameless courtiers on Father's countryside hunts, one of the faceless partygoers, one of those voiceless under Father's booming opinions. I would return home and continue my exile with Mahon until Father realized his mortality. I did not count on the opinions of the nameless, faceless, and voiceless.
Because Mahon and I had been kept from them, the children of the Lords and Ladies of the court had been curious about us for their entire lives. Mahon was much better at dealing with their undisguised interest than I. He did not care at all about the opinions of others, I however, always found myself aware of their scrutiny. Maybe it was the prospect of the future kingship, maybe it is just in my nature. I have always known about my need for acceptance, and yet I still allowed it to change my actions.
At Hafodan I became a mystery man, someone everyone wanted to know everything about. At their queries I suddenly became shy of my sheltered background of study. I looked at their extravagant court clothes and masked court faces and knew they would shun me if I was not as they were. So I put on the mantle of the court favored prince and the mask of the courtier, if only it had stayed a mask.
In the beginning, I attempted to approach Father with the ideas Mahon and I had formed in regards to the troubles of the nation. After these attempts, I was repeatedly told to mind the business of court and leave the "governing" to him in his growling voice, so like that of the great red bear he was often compared to. Trying to placate Father, I did as he asked and spent my time participating in the activities of the court. The younger members did not discourage me, so long that I did not broach subjects they did not care about. Once, when I was on a long hunt with several young lords, I quietly asked about one of the decisions my Father had made before the court a few days prior. As I recall, it was a justice case, a local man against a merchant who was obviously cheating him. My Father sided with the merchant, a good friend of one of his favored Lords.
Alan, a second son, who was known for his popularity with the ladies of the court, answered first, "What brought on this discussion, Teirnan? To tell you the truth, I hardly ever listen to the court proceedings. My mind usually lies on other things."
It felt as though they all turned their questioning, doubting eyes on me, and I knew none of them would share my interest in governing. Those who were born to it would do as they must, so as to keep their positions. What I had noticed however, was that most of the young people at court were second and third sons, and not the heirs. I hoped with my heart and soul that the first born were keeping the provinces safe in their Lords' absence at Father's behest.
Keene, one of the most popular at court, spoke next, "Yes, Prince, I thought you would have been preoccupied with the roving doe eyes of Lady Catrin. Be careful, T, or you will catch up with Alan here." I, being my Father's son, was by right the highest ranked among the young court, Keene was the highest respected. He never let me forget it, and I, in my quest for acceptance, allowed him to keep his dominance. I dropped the subject, and quietly decided not to pick it up again. Soon, my attitude began to change.
Day after day of my newly acquired peer acceptance and Father's courtly extravagance lulled me into a state of complacence. What did I care of the troubles of the populace? It would be many years before Father handed the reins of the country to me and I could wait and deal with his negligence then. The only thing that worried me was Mahon's reaction to my change of mind when I returned to Eisgairdin. Even then, my conscience was gnawing at the back of my mind, yet I dulled myself to the pain it caused me, and to the pain I caused Mahon.
When I returned home, I tried to behave with the court as I had at Hafodan, this meant leaving Mahon behind. Looking back, it did not trouble me as much as it should have. But again, I was caught up in their games and did not look any deeper. Where I only found acceptance, Mahon saw the manipulation and exploitation of those around me. I did not see it clearly until it was too late. He must have perceived it as he watched me dismount and reenter Eisgairdin the day of my return. I remember the look of rejection and disbelief on his face as he stood next to Conroy, our old boy-hood tutor. At the time I thought it only some kind of jealousy. Oh, how the high and mighty can fall.
After my return, and the seasonal relocation of the court, matters settled into a routine. I was wherever it was most convenient for Father and the court and Mahon disappeared into the library and the catacombs with Conroy, now his near equal in scholarship, emerging only to eat and beat the dust from his clothes every day or so. Years passed, in this way. He may have thought I was solely concerned with the court, which was mostly true, but I did keep track of his activities. At the time, I made the excuse that I was watching out for him, making sure he did not get into trouble. This was another aspect of my imprisoned conscience, my cowardly way of being with Mahon when my pride and my disguised shame would not allow me to approach him.
It was he who finally tried to bridge the gap I had forged between us. He approached me with one of our old discussion points as I was standing in the entryway before the Great Hall, awaiting the day's court proceedings with Keene and some of his lackeys. Instantaneously and without thinking to who I was speaking, only in whose company I was, I spewed forth a silky court reply. I can barely even recall what it was that I said to him, but I saw his respect for me shatter as his lips returned the same poison, only it was accusing and righteous, as I always should have been to the followers of my Father's court, "I find I am called back to my studies by the neglected cries of our people. My only hope is to try to alleviate them before they disturb the quiet seclusion of you and your precious court."
My jaw dropped and my heart fell in my gut with a nearly audible thud as I stared at him, still reeling from having my own hypocrisy thrust in my face. I knew what I should have been doing all that time, what Mahon would have done, had he been in my place, what I still could not bring myself to do. To my disgrace, later, after Mahon had taken his leave, I laughed with my "friends" about him and his "self-righteous and melodramatic" ways.
However, after that Mahon did not leave me alone. He would follow my every move, he would go to court, not participating, and he would follow after the hunt. His eyes followed me and I felt their gaze become as judgmental as those of the court. I knew what he thought of me and my choices, and again, in my pride, I could not face him. I attempted to pretend he wasn't there, but he was unmovable, waiting for me to come to him. My popularity among my "friends" had begun to slowly wane as a result of my constant distraction. This probably would have continued indefinitely if it were not for the events of my twenty-first birthday.
Father had been, of course, planning an extravagant celebration, one I had actually nearly forgotten about because of Mahon's distracting behavior. The whole event was actually kind of strange. Father had never thrown a party for either of his offspring. The first time he mentioned the affair, it took me a moment to comprehend what he was saying. Even then, with the pressure of the battle between my conscience and my pride, I could not have cared less about it. I began developing terrible headaches. I lost large quantities of sleep. Consequently, I was in poor condition to be the guest of honor at a court banquet, but what Father wanted, he always got.
I could not accurately describe the first two or three hours of the party, I was occupied with desperately trying not to think about or look at Mahon, and failing quite spectacularly. I believe I was sitting on the dias in a grand chair slightly lower than Father's throne, hunched over my knees with my head in my hands. My head throbbing, the myriad of torch lights searing my eyes, I thought, This is killing me, I must go speak to Mahon, I cannot let my pride rule me any longer. I must rule Eisgairdin someday. I cannot let the opinions of spoiled lordlings or my own damn pride get in the way of my responsibilities. How could I have let this go on for so long? I raised my head, searching for Mahon, among the revelers. I quickly spotted him, leaning against the wall on the far side of the Great Hall, as we had so often as boys. As our eyes met, I tried to pour as much regret and sorrow as I could into my face, when suddenly a booming voice, rough and harsh, filled the hall and the massive doors swung violently apart.
"Kail of Eisgairdin, I have come to collect my payment," the voice came louder than even Father's own and echoed several times about the chamber followed by the thumping sound of large footsteps. I heard a shifting of fabric and turned to look questioningly at Father. He sat bolt upright in his lavish throne, with a slightly guilty cast on his ghostly white face. I turned swiftly back to the front of the hall where a surprisingly short figure approached the dias. I realized he must have been using magic of some kind to magnify the sound of his entrance. This was not someone to dismiss lightly. He was heavily cloaked, and held a great weapon in his right hand. I looked closer and saw it was an axe, but the deadly blade protruded from a large orb, golden and bejeweled, like a royal scepter.
The figure abruptly stopped a few feet before Father's throne, made a swift gesture, and the cloak fell from his body, slashed into ribbons. He was half as tall as I, but muscularly built, with enough fat on his frame to suggest opulent living. He wore well made and well used leather armor, studded with more gold and jewels. A gray beard hung to his waistband, but his face did not look weathered from great age. He began speaking in the same rough and gravelly voice, however this time it was not magnified, "To you I gave the highest wish of any man, King Kail of Eisgairdin, born Brody, son of generations of sheepherders in the hills to the east. Now I will have what you promised me so long ago. I will have your eldest son to entertain the lords of my court." At that he turned a cruelly smiling face on me. And I again, foolishly, looked for guidance from my father, the king. He was still staring straight ahead, ghostly white, and his lips began to move but no sound was produced. His large, beast like body, seemed to shrink in on itself and he became frail and worn. I was hardly surprised by the revelation that he was not of noble blood, but many members of the court wore looks of outrage and disgust on their faces. I realized they would never follow him again, he was not good enough of a king for them to forget his dubious origins, and he could not accept their impending rejection.
I knew he would not defend me, so I prepared to defend myself. I saw Mahon moving closer to the dias out of the corner of my eye as I faced the intruder again.
"Visitor to the noble house of Eisgairdin," I began slowly, and the stranger snorted. I ignored the jibe and continued, not thinking for a minute he would oblige me, "What court is it that you would have me entertain? Perhaps we can arrange a meeting of diplomacy."
He let out a barking laugh that seemed to echo for several minutes afterward, "Oh, Prince, what a jester you will make! To think you have never heard of the Dwarven Court? The Halls of the Underground? I am Damek, King of the Dwarves. Your father, the Eisgairdin King, sold your life to me for a sack that held an unlimited amount of gold before you were conceived. On this day I told him I would return for my price, I will leave here with you…unless you are willing to make another wager. I do enjoy a good one."
When he finished I turned to the lunatic sitting next to me and accused, "You had an unlimited supply of gold for longer than I have been alive and you did not use it to feed your starving people?" He did not answer me, I did not expect it. "You could have made this country into the most prosperous civilization in the history of man. If you had done something worth while with your bargain I would have gladly gone with him, but you squandered it. You are more of a fool than I could have thought." I turned from him, disgusted, back to the maniacal grin of the Dwarf King.
"This is already most amusing. Come Prince, you will not go with me gladly. What will you offer?"
After a moment of contemplation, I returned, "A son should not be punished for the sins of his father, allow me to prove myself. Throw me a challenge, King of Dwarves, I will prove my worth over that of my father and your court will have their entertainment." I knew I was taking a risk. He could do anything he wanted with me now, but I had to solidify the court's loyalty to the sons of their long dead Queen. If they thought us worthy they could look past their fallen king. If I did not succeed at the task, I would pave the way for Mahon's reign. At least I knew he would put our old dreams to action, I could not even be so sure of myself.
"Ah, this is better than I could have hoped. Here is my challenge, Prince, for a year and a day you must prevent my forces from stealing that which you treasure most. Before you think of tricking me, know that I have ways of discerning this. If you succeed, you may keep your kingdom, and the gold your father has undoubtedly secreted somewhere on these premises," he pronounced. "Do you accept?"
"I do," I replied, mildly surprised at the simplicity of his trial. "When do I begin?"
"I will give you one day to collect your treasure before beginning my hunt. Oh," he paused, the cruel smile returning to his lips, crinkling the brow above his coal black eyes. "I would not want you to forget the reason for this challenge. Your poor, fool of a father. What was it that they called him when he first wed the Dark Lily of Eisgairdin, whom you so resemble? Ah yes, Kail the Bear." At this I felt a strange wind pick up in the windowless Great Hall. My vision seemed to shift slightly, whirling towards the Dwarf King who had begun to swing his large weapon straight at me. "I believe a change will make this challenge much more interesting. You, my fool of a Prince, will resemble your father as you never thought possible."
The Dwarf King swung his scepter around in an arc, and I felt my insides twist, when suddenly, Mahon stepped directly between us, saying words and making gestures I could not identify. The Dwarf King paused, mid swing and narrowed his eyes at Mahon.
When he again spoke intelligibly, my brother's words to the intruder were labored and breathless, as if he had just done something strenuous and I quickly wondered what it was he had been studying for the past years. "I will not allow you to rob Eisgairdin of its rightful monarch, earth dweller. Teirnan!" he cried desperately, turning his body to face me, "Rule it kindly, rule it justly, rule it well." He spoke again to the dwarf, but did not take his eyes from my own, "I take the challenge for my own," his face contorting in pain, but looking again on the intruder, he displayed an ironic smile, "You cannot undo it now, unless the challenge is completed or abandoned. You have not the skill, and neither have I. You see, we are both charlatans."
The dwarf's face betrayed his anger and incompetence, "One brother is as good as the other for a jester, second-born. It will make no difference," he returned and Mahon let out a scream of agony. I watched stupefied and horrified as, falling to his hands and knees, Mahon's rich court garb burst into shreds and his body mutated, contorting wildly in awkward directions before settling into the form of a black bear. I had not realized until that moment what the Dwarf King had meant by his earlier cryptic remarks. I cried out, and tried to rush to him, but the voice of the Dwarf King brought me to a halt, "Second-born, I know your treasure. You have one day to conceal it, before I begin my hunt for it and you. Keep watch for my lords and I, we will have great sport with you." He turned and began laughing as he leisurely strolled out of the hall, "A family of fools indeed."
The great doors swung shut once more as Mahon, turned and looked to me. I could see sorrow, but also brave determination in his still royal blue eyes. They were the eyes that he and I shared, the eyes of our mother, the Dark Lily. I had forgotten the people had once called her that, before Father had turned the court from the public. I no longer wondered why he had done so. He had been paranoid about the truth of his birth being discovered. I realized Father and I were more alike than I had ever thought. I should have been transformed, I thought, I am already like him on the inside.
"Mahon," I began, "You should not have taken my place! The challenge was meant for me. You should not have even been involved. I am so sorry." I paused for a moment and softly uttered, "I promise, I will do ask you asked."
He solemnly nodded, turned and broke into a ground-eating lope, down the Hall and out the doors that had been re-opened to let in the late-coming soldiers. "Let him go!" I shouted to them when they tried to prevent him, thinking he was the reason they had been summoned, "He is not to be hindered." The faces of the court turned to me questioningly, my disgraced father, ignored. I began putting the government back in order.
It took me nearly a week to get a grasp on Father's methods of governing, for he had never bothered to tell me his practices. I was mildly glad that he didn't. I think I would have cheerfully murdered him after he explained his unknowing negligence to me. I should not have been surprised, he was never supposed to be a king anyway. Dealing with the tangled layers of advisors and undersecretaries that never ended up with anything becoming accomplished was not easy. Matters were made more difficult by my broken sleep patterns that had not returned to normal, after Mahon's departure.
I became haunted by dreams of Mahon dying violently, the anguished cries of a woman with white hair and the tears of the same woman, now with hair that was a deep red. My headaches became more acute, never ceasing. I became convinced that Mahon was in danger of some kind, that there was something else he needed to know. I realized that a year of living that way would have killed me. I could never have kept my promise unless I first tried to aid him somehow.
It was midsummer when Mahon was first transformed. I was not able to leave Eisgairdin with certainty that the city would not be burning when I returned before the coming of autumn. Conroy had again gained my respect and that of many others in the few months following my Father's mental demise and I left him in charge of keeping the Lords from killing or warring each other as I set out, alone, from my kingdom, going North in search of my brother. I searched through all of the autumn and most of the winter, making my way slowly through the hills and then the forests of the high mountains, stopping in every town, inquiring about strange bear sightings. I believe most of them thought I was mad, and only a few would give me shelter for long. But despite the hardship, I did not lose my resolve to find Mahon and help him in the task that should have been mine.
When spring came, I found myself deeper into the forests of the northern mountains than I had ever been. The weather had broken, so I had taken to sleeping on the ground, under the stars and the canopy of the forest. One particular night, the temperature dropped farther than I had expected, so I took shelter in a large hole in the ground next to a great oak tree at the edge of a large clearing and promptly fell asleep.
I was awoken in the middle of the night by a familiar laugh emanating from the back of my shelter. I repositioned myself to investigate this sound and discovered a narrow tunnel from which I could see a soft light. In my state of half wakefulness, I unthinkingly crawled into it. I recognized the laugh coming from it, but could not remember from where. Suddenly more laughter joined the first, a voice shouted jovially above them all and I realized where my travels had brought me, "Yes, comrades, the fool spent the winter with a bumpkin widow and her two daughters. You ask how I know this, since none of you could locate him?" he paused dramatically then continued, pride and malice in his voice, "What he does not know and you have not thought of is, his most prized treasure can change and I will know of it. The fair daughter of the widow has been placed above all things in our bear-man's heart. He goes to protect the jewels of his dead mother, buried in the winter's hard ground so we could not dig it up, but we will take his true treasure from him before he realizes that is what she has become."
I listened to the Dwarf King's plan and knew that this was what my dreams called me to Mahon's aid for. I could not let his new love be taken by the king, the challenge would be lost, the kingdom taken back, and he would be left a bear forever. Suddenly, the dwarf's servant added more wood to the bonfire, illuminating the corner of his court where I had hid myself.
Every pair of piercing dark eyes in the cave turned to me and the Dwarf King smiled again as he motioned for two of his lords to drag me before the fire, directly across from him, "Ah Prince, how kind of you to join us in the Halls of my Underground. I am sure that you enjoyed the information I just imparted to you and I know what you plan to do with it. But, you now know too much of my affairs, Prince. So I will take from you the use of your tongue and the use of your hands." He began swinging his scepter in the same motion as our previous encounter and he asked, "How can you warn your brother if you cannot write or speak? How ironic that you as well as the bear would provide me and mine with such entertainment."
He swung his scepter faster and faster as I began to feel a sharp tingling in my mouth and my hands. It was as if invisible sharp wires were twining themselves around my tongue and palms and fingers, imbedding themselves in my skin. The Dwarf King stopped his circular motion and pointed his weapon at my heart. The unseen wires seemed to be attached to it somehow and they instantly dug themselves deeper causing me to cry out hoarsely. He pulled back sharply, and the wires pulled with the scepter. I felt my muscles and flesh rip and tear and tears of failure and pain came to my eyes as I tried to scream. The last thing I remember before hitting the floor was the laughter of the Dwarf King and his court as a river of blood flowed from my open mouth and mangled hands.