A/N: Sorry for the short chapter but I am finding this one really hard to write. I will keep working on it though, please let me know what you think!
Chapter 6: If only for a minute.
Carter stood out in the hallway. He could hear the girls crying and knew instantly that Doug had told them the news. He stood there, wondering if he should go back in, but knew that wasn't his place. They needed some time together as family to grief for their loss.
He felt an arm on his shoulder and then heard the voice, "you okay John?"
Carter knew who the voice belonged to; there was only one person who it could belong to, "yeah Abby, I am." He responded back in a very monotone voice. He wasn't sure if he really was okay but for now that was the only thing that he knew to say.
"Why don't we go and get some coffee?" Abby asked softly knowing that he was lying to her.
"I told Doug that I would be here if he needed anything." Carter replied back his tone not changing.
"Come on they can page you if he needs anything." Abby said her arm on his back now as she guided him away from the room; she knew he needed to get out of this environment even if it was for just a minute.
Carter just nodded and let her lead him down the hallway feeling guilty that he was leaving Doug but knowing that Abby was right this time.
Abby hadn't seen him cry yet, he hadn't shed one tear that she knew of for their lost colleague and keeping that bottled up inside of him wasn't a good thing. She knew, he too, even though he might not want to admit it, even the great Dr. Carter needed to grieve.
Abby left word at the nurses' station that they were to page him if Dr. Ross needed anything before she took him down towards the cafeteria. She figured that it would be better than taking him across the street right now. Getting him to leave the floor was hard enough. They walked in silence now, Abby just trying her best to let him know that she was there for him if he wanted her to be, she'd be there for him even if he didn't want her to be.
This was hard on all of them right now. The entire staff was in shock over this. Carol had always been well liked and she worked hard. She was one of the best nurse's that County had, had, and her loss was like losing a cherished family member. She didn't know what to say to him right now, it was almost as if there was nothing to say. They got down to the cafeteria and she got him some coffee and some food. She knew that he needed to go and get some sleep her soon to, the short night was starting to take its toll on him and it showed. Carter had deep dark bags under his eyes and he was almost in a zombie like state as they sat down at one of the tables.
She glanced over at him periodically, just to make sure that he was indeed eating and drinking what she had placed in front of him. She was worried about him; one couldn't help but worry about him when he looked as he did. This was Carter at a low point. Not that they all hadn't hit a low point over the last twenty four hours as reality started to hit home for them. But there were few people at County left that remembered Carol, who had worked with her and Doug before. Kerry, Abby, Susan, Jerry and Carter were the only people who really had. Abby had been there when Tess and Kate were born, she had helped Carol bring them into the world. Carter had known Carol since the first day that he had started there as a medical student.
But it was Carter that had known both of them the longest, with the exception of Kerry who had known Doug while he was at Mount Sinai. They had worked together until Doug was forced to leave County after the unfortunate death of Riccki Abbot. Then shortly after that Carol packed up the girls and headed to Seattle to be with Doug. Now here they had come back to Chicago to be around friends and family and this happened.
It just didn't seem fair that two people so right for each other, who had gone through so much together, were now separated like this. Those two small girls would now have to grow up with out the mother who loved them more than life itself. They would all have to pull together and work through all of this as a family, for that's what they all were, the ER was a family. When one hurt they all hurt.