I'm updating this quick because I'm bored and am avoiding updating other stories lol. Well anyway, if anyone ever wants someone to read his or her story just say so in your review! I promise I don't bite! I might not get to read it right away, but I'll get to it! Okay, and now to the story;

Chapter Two

And her friend Jamie Lou

Harry and Ron didn't get the cell phone like suggested. Morons.

But it was okay because Hermione's spasm was over. Well really, it wasn't okay. Not at all. Because when she lifted her head besides her new raccoon-like eyes there was something very different about her…very…

"Hey, OMG what are you wearing? Do you like my thong? It has sparkles! Omg, I broke a nail!" she rambled on and on and on. Ron and Harry couldn't stop her. Or at least her thong prevented them from trying to.

"I got this shirt half of! Do you like? Omg Seamus is such a player and…"

Right then the door burst open and Fred, George and Ginny came in.

"Hey, didn't you guys leave like, last year?" asked Hermione, who had given up her rambling and now sat comfortably in Harry's lap.

"No," said Fred who fallowed suit and sat on Ron's lap.

"Oh ok," said Hermione twirling her hair around just like Mary Sue had. Harry jumped up and freaked out, sending Hermione out the window.

"Hermione!" screamed Ginny, her face full of tears. "First Draco, now you…." She sobbed.

"Draco?" asked Ron, who the whole time had been struggling to push Fred off of him.

"He left me for the giant squid!" she cried. "I must go find Blaise's shoulder to cry on!" she ran dramatically into the compartment door. "Ow! That wasn't suppose to happen…" she muttered and opened the door carefully.

"Who's Blaise?" asked Harry, who was now struggling to keep George off of his lap.

"Uh… I think he's the guy who became Malfoy's best friend since…. since Crabbe and Goyle flew out the train a few seconds ago…" said Ron who had successfully managed to push Fred off his lap.

"Oh, must be another one of Mary Sues plans…" said Harry.

"Who?" asked George who had gotten bored and was now trying to sit on Fred's lap.

"You'll see," said Harry as the train stopped immediately because the author was getting bored.

They all pushed the younger ones out of their way, and for once did not hear Hagrid being all "Firs years" and blah because he flew out a window too. Starting now.

So anyways they got off and a bunch of pretty purple unicorns took them to Hogwarts because the thestrals were too ugly and Dumbledore thought the unicorns were cuter.

They four of them eventually found their way to their table and sat down. The hat ceremony was about to start when someone stood up and shot it.

"I demand to know who did that!" commanded Dumbledore from the staff table.

"I did sir! Sorry it was an accident," said Mary Sue sheepishly from Harry's table putting down her shotgun. Harry freaked out and jumped under the table.

"Oh, that's alright Mary Sue, why don't you come up here and make your announcement?" Dumbledore smiled.

Mary Sue came up to the staff table and gave the school one of her glittery perfect smiles and giggled. Everyone's mouth hung open in shock of this beautiful creature. "Um…ok hi everyone!" She blushed. Harry knew that she was faking it, but he was so afraid of the gun incident he hid further down the table. "Well first things first, I hope everyone has a great year! Hehe! Well I'm new, which means everyone has to notice me and um.. Well I have complete rule over the school! Tehe! Oh and my friend Jamie Lou will be helping me!" she giggled some more pointing to an equally beautiful girl standing behind her. She had raven black hair, stark green eyes, and a peculiar scar of a cloud on her forehead. Oh and a perfect curvy figure and olive complexion. She ran from behind Mary Sue and ran to Draco Malfoy and swung her arms around him.

Draco, who had been busy with the squid, did not seem to mind the interruption. In fact he took both Jamie and the squid into some mysterious room that had appeared out of now where.

Ginny who had been sitting with Blaise began to cry. Harry began to cry too.

"So umm…first things first…Hermione and Draco have to share a bed because I said so…whenever they get back…. oh ya, anyone can go in any common room, and Harry and I are head boy and head girl! Even if we're both in 6th year. Oh…and a mandatory new class is spin the bottle! Ok your dismissed; the house elves will cater the food and stuff to your room! K, do whatever you want bye!" she happily bounced away from the staff table and towards Harry who was still crying.

"Come on sweetie! We have to go to bed!" she started winking and that only caused Harry to go into further hysterics. She dragged him by his arm (which got better by the way, just in case you were wondering) up some stairs and into a huge room with a giant bed. She then tied him to it with some magic wand spell thing.

OMFG Harry! Will he escape? He has too! He must escape and gain order back to the school! He must over throw Mary Sue before he too goes insane!

Thanks to reviews Leigh A. Sumpter (bestest daughter!), singin in the rain again, and ash vault rose garden. Yes I know, NOT HERMIONE!