But Headmaster..!

Author: Sikanna

Chapter Two: A Plea for Help

Harry didn't stop running until he reached the owlery. He really needed some emotional support, and he didn't think he would get it from any of the teachers. 'Now that I think of it, I probably won't get any sympathy from Hermione either…' Right, that meant he needed Weasleys. Specifically, three Weasleys-Ron, Gred, and Forge.

He also needed the joke shop, firecrackers, Peeves, and his invisibility cloak.

He already had a death wish; that was proven when he passed his Potions exam. If he was going to die, he was going out in style. And taking Snape with him. His sanity, anyway.

He grabbed one of the school owls 'Can't use Hedwig, Snape could see her, and figure out where I'm hiding- the Greasy Git probably thinks I'm in the Gryffindor Dorm, or one of the towers…like I'd be stupid enough to cut off my own escape.'

He held the owl, yelping when he was pecked for waking it, and belatedly remembered that he didn't have anything to write a note with 'What to do…what to do…got it!'

"I hope this works. Dobby!"

Dobby the House Elf popped in front of him, making him jump.

"Dobby is pleased to see HarryPotter, Sir, but HarryPotter, Sir is not supposed to be calling Dobby. Dobby is not supposed to be answering calls from students. Ooh, Dobby is a bad Elf…Bad…bad…bad!"

With each 'bad' Dobby proceeded to bash his head against one of the cages, making the unfortunate owl inside hoot angrily.

"Dobby…Dobby! DOBBY!" Harry shouted as softly as he could (he didn't want anyone else to hear him).

"Yes HarryPotter, Sir?" Dobby asked, punishment forgotten.

"I need you to do me a favor. Could you get me some parchment, quill, and ink? I really need to post some letters…it's an emergency!"

Dobby eyed Harry for a moment before nodding "Dobby can do HarryPotter, Sir a favor, Dobby will be right back."

He vanished with another pop.

Harry slumped in relief, he really didn't want to leave the owlery. He supposed that if Dobby had refused, he could have used 'Accio' to get the supplies, but he didn't really want to risk Snape, or another teacher spotting writing supplies float by, they might follow!

When Dobby popped back, Harry suppressed his yelp…Dobby might try to punish himself for scaring him.

"Thanks Dobby, and I promise I'll try to remember that students aren't supposed to call House Elves, ok?"

When Dobby left, Harry began writing.

Ron,

Hope you're having a good summer; mine just ended. It's bad, mate. Real bad.

I passed my Potions exam.

I know we both swore that we'd fail (who knew we could actually be decent at something that Git teaches, huh) but I swear it was an accident!

And it gets worse, mate.

Snape knows.

And I might have…upset him a little when he went up to the Headmaster's office while I was there trying to get out of taking Advanced Potions.

I know he's gonna kill me when classes start (I don't plan on letting him see me before), so I plan on going out Marauder's style. Wanna help? I'm also sending a letter to the twins.

Any ideas on how to bribe Peeves?

The-Boy-Who-Wishes-Voldie-had-Killed-Him,

Harry Potter

After handing his letter to the owl and watching it fly off, he began on the second one.

Gred & Forge,

Do you remember about our 'Things-to-do-to-drive-Snape-Bonkers' Plan?

Of course you do, silly me.

Anyway, I need it put into effect.

I passed Potions.

I'm afraid you're gonna be short one silent partner after this term.

As part of the second generation of the Marauders, I nobly entreat thee…

Pleasepleasedon'tlethimkillmewithoutgivingmeachancetodrivehiminsane!

(Please please don't let him kill me without giving me a chance to drive him insane!)

Eagerly awaiting your owl,

Your Silent Partner,

Harry Potter

P.S. How do I bribe Peeves?

After sending off the letter (the second owl bit him instead of pecking), he hid…ahem, relaxed, in the corner to wait for their replies.

Three hours later, Harry jumped as something whacked him on the face, waking him from his slumber.

Two owls, legs out impatiently, waited to be relieved of their burdens. When Harry took the letters, the owls hooted angrily at him, and flew back to their perches, to resume their interrupted naps.

Harry eagerly opened the first letter, the poor condition, telling him it was Ron's. He really needed to stop wrinkling his parchment…it did not make storage easier.

Harry,

Dang mate, tough luck about the exam. You know I'm with ya all the way; we'll get that Git!

The twins are here visiting, so you'll get their letter at the same time as mine (I'm just glad they're on our side!)

See ya soon,

Ron

P.S. The twins would know a better way to bribe Peeves then I would...don't think he's like being threatened.

Harry grinned in relief, though he knew Ron wouldn't refuse to help, and opened the twins' letter.

Greetings, And Salutations,

We're with you All the way, Mate.

As pranksters we feel… It is our duty to assist… You in your plan…

For our favorite Professor/test subject.

Got to, go… Mum's calling, Gred & Forge

P.S The best way to bribe Peeves...is to let him help…and give him the extra supplies!

Grinning, Harry put away his letters, pleased to have confirmed help.

After checking the Marauder's Map for teachers, Harry made his way toward a certain poltergeist.

He had some bribing to do.

A/N: I'd like to thank my first reviewers ever…even though I've never posted my stuff before and it's my own fault…

Princess-Perfect : I'm glad you liked the chapter, the idea popped into my head yesterday and I had to write it down. The bit with Fawkes and Albus was something of an afterthought-it didn't seem complete without it.

Em0s3xual : I wasn't really planning on doing anything more with this, but you asked for more…hope you like it!

poison blossom : Making people laugh is fun…and contagious. I don't always make humor fics, but I plan on making this one as silly as I can, without it becoming ridiculous.