In This Life

A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic

by Moonchild Abigail

responses:

Ryou Shirogane: Thanks! RxI-ness is great and so is torturing Shirogane. o.O

RoseRosa I'm glad you find it interesting.

ariasunset Thanks! Don't worry, this fic is going to be shamelessly RyouxIchigo. XD

Jana Lybarger: Um.. chapter two is up. But if you're reading this you've already figured that out.

Nibzo Yep, its definitely a RxI story. I'm not giving away the ending yet, though.

Fuzzy Wuzzy Bear: -glomps back- I have so many of my own fics that I'm juggling that I could never write requests, sorry.

Chibi Fluffy Muffin: Thanks! I like your nickname. -eats you-

Chibi-Squirrel: Okay. -marries you- -pokes- Oh wait, you've already died from suspense! T,T Ha… sorry, I'm terrible about getting new chapters out quickly. You're actually very lucky with this update compared to my other fics.

Author's Notes: I was listening to the radio at work and realized so many songs inspired me. From now on I'm going to add a "soundtrack" song to go along with each chapter. I've decided them all except for the next chapter's, so I'll welcome any suggestions. Any songs about being confused or indecisive, or being torn between two people would be great, but it doesn't need to be limited to that. If a song reminds you of RyouxIchigo, let me know.

chapter two. diagnosis

soundtrack. 02. if you only knew. maroon 5

I wake up, thought of you / Tattooed to my mine, as I wonder / What to wear, what to eat, who to be / Will I see you again / And as my car breaks down / I shake my head and say / What a day

If you only knew, what I went through just to get to you.

She couldn't stop thinking about him. Even now, when she should have been listening to the teacher lecture about English participles, she was thinking about him. For some reason, she couldn't get his pain-tortured face out of her mind. And afterward, he had simply walked away without any explanation at all – the same way he had that time before, after transforming from a cat on top of her to her utter shock. Akasaka's telling of his past was still fresh in her memory. As it slowly sank into her understanding, it had helped reveal just a little bit more of the person who fate had somehow, whether she liked it or not, thrown her together with. But there was still so much more about him she didn't understand. How many more secrets did he hold?

Akasaka had said there was nothing wrong with him, that they didn't need to worry, but she had seen the uncertainty in his eyes. She wondered if the other girls had seen it too, or was she just being paranoid? Why did he always keep things to himself like that? If it was just a virus, he could have said he was feeling bad, couldn't he? Maybe he didn't want anybody to worry, but it was always like this. It was annoying. He never revealed anything unless it was in his own interest, or he had some mission he wanted them to complete.

Of course, she'd made it clear enough that she disliked him. And who could blame her? He worked her like a slave, always ordering her around with no regard for her personal time or feelings. He'd made it clear that he only cared for her as his "ultimate weapon", and on top of that, he was always teasing her and saying cruel things! But it was on the very rare occasion, just every once in a while… that he did something nice. And that annoyed her the most, because it meant… she couldn't hate him completely, no matter how much she may have wanted to.

She managed to sneak into the café just in time to start work, slipping into her uniform and joining the girls in the kitchen. The dining room began filling up fast, but not fast enough not to linger in the kitchen and sample Akasaka's new cinnamon peach crumble cake first. Shirogane was nowhere around, and Ichigo found herself glancing around even as she waited tables watching for his face without really thinking about it. She must have been obviously distracted, because she jumped when Zakuro laid a hand on her shoulder. The violet-haired model's eyes were softened with understanding. "If Akasaka is not worried, neither should you be."

Ichigo managed a small smile. Zakuro was right, she didn't need to be so worried. She was being silly, it was just a little virus. And this was Shirogane they were talking about. Since when did she even care about Shirogane, anyway? "Thanks, Zakuro-san." She took the older "oneesama's" advice to heart and went back to work with a lighter step. But it wasn't many steps before heaviness was dragging her shoes and her mind once again. What if Akasaka really was worried, but only didn't want to show it? Something uncomfortable still nagged the edge of her instincts. Ichigo resolved she would find out.

On a mission, Ichigo kept her cat-eyes on alert for an open opportunity. When it did, she pounced with a stealth that would make her feline genes proud. "Akasaka-san?" She cornered him alone in the back of the kitchen when the rest of the girls were busy with other tasks.

"What is it, Ichigo-san?" The tall man bent to retrieve a steaming cake from the oven with an aroma that would make any mouth water.

"Um, well…" In her strategic planning to confront him alone, she hadn't even considered what she was going to say. "Is… is Shirogane here today? I mean, I just haven't seen him around today and was just wondering, well… if he, um…"

Akasaka straightened and faced her, realization knitting his brow. He set the cake down on the counter and smiled gently. "He's working on research in the basement today. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already lost track of the hours. If you'd like to speak with him, I'm sure he wouldn't-"

"No, no!" Ichigo waved her hands quickly. "I didn't wanna talk to him. Actually, um, I was hoping I could talk to you…"

"Certainly." He was gathering ingredients into a bowl now to mix up the frosting.

"…about Shirogane."

Akasaka's hands slowed for a moment, but he continued preparing the frosting. "Is something the matter?"

"Akasaka-san, is he really okay? After what happened yesterday?" There. She'd finally spilled it. Everything that had been worrying her since yesterday when she didn't even know why.

"Ichigo-san…" The older man's voice remained pleasant as his hands continued to busy themselves with the work in front of them. "You shouldn't be so worried." He smiled, but his eyes would not hold hers for long. There was something he wasn't telling them, and he was doing an awful job of hiding it. She knew it. She exploded.

"How you can say not to be worried! What do you expect me to do, when no one says anything! Because you're a terrible liar, Akasaka-san!" Ichigo clapped a hand over her mouth as soon as the words had come out. She hadn't meant to be so rude to gentle Akasaka, and what if she had just accused him when he really wasn't lying?

But he was smiling softly, maybe even chuckling a bit. "Yes, I suppose you're right." He placed the spoon back in the bowl with a sigh and faced her. "I'm sorry." Ichigo suddenly wished she'd never asked. His words had just confirmed what she knew was true, but she'd never thought to hope they were not true, until now.

"I knew it!" she burst out, "Shirogane's dying, isn't he! He's got some kind of deadly disease, what is it! Cancer? AIDS? Malaria?" She paused, realizing she'd exhausted her knowledge of deadly diseases, and she wasn't even sure if malaria was actually fatal.

"Ichigo-san." He placed a firm hand on each of her shoulders. "Ryou is not dying of any disease." His words were serious, and she knew he was not lying this time. Relief fluttered down inside of her, tinged with the uncertainty of what might be worse.

"Oh… uh, sorry," she replied softly, apologizing for her earlier outburst. Akasaka looked down at the frosting mix in silent thought as if he were considering something. Finally he motioned for her to follow.

"Please sit down."

She did so stiffly. Sitting down meant bad news, didn't it? Akasaka sat at the kitchen table across from her, folding his hands on the tabletop. "You know," he began, "that Ryou has the ability to become a cat?" She nodded, suddenly confused. What did Alto have to do with this? Akasaka continued speaking. "Ryou was the first human experiment of the Mew Project to receive animal DNA. It was thanks to that we were able to learn more about the injection process before any of you girls received your DNA. Even still, there were some things about the genes that we couldn't predict. As you know, the genes of endangered species have incredible instincts to preserve themselves, which is why they were ideal to use to fight against the aliens, because of the power they held. Power even to mutate and evolve in order to survive. The genes have gone beyond and exceeded all our expectations for the Mew Project."

Ichigo had heard this before, at least, what she understood of it. But she was still waiting for an answer to her question.

"Ryou's genes differ from your own, of course. A person's genes must be compatible with the animal DNA to fully utilize its power, and Ryou's body has never completely merged with the animal genes as yours has. Each time the DNA mutates, his immune system rejects the new genetic code and reacts against it. We've been able to isolate a protein to neutralize the antibodies and act as an antidote, but it only functions as a temp-" Akasaka broke off his explanation, realizing Ichigo's utterly blank look. He paused, continuing more slowly. "That is to say, each time the DNA mutates, Ryou's body no longer recognizes it and treats it like an invader, causing the attacks like you saw yesterday. We'd been able to easily manage them in the past, as the only symptoms had been occasional headaches, but recently the attacks have grown more frequent and more severe. The antidote we've developed only works as a temporary solution until the next mutation, and the next attack. We think the new increase in attacks is probably the DNA reacting to the recent rise in alien activity. We're continuing to study the DNA patterns and work on a permanent solution, so we didn't want you to be worried."

She couldn't react. She wasn't even sure she'd understood half of what Akasaka had just said, but she knew this – she was realizing more every day just how much Shirogane was sacrificing for this project. Confusing medical terms, uncertain worries, and conflicting emotions all competed for focus in her mind.

"I rather suspected there was something more than a mere virus."

Ichigo turned to realize Zakuro had been standing behind her the whole time. "Zakuro-san, but… I thought you told me not to be worried."

"That wasn't what I said," the older girl replied with a cryptic look.

"Will you forgive me for deceiving you, Ichigo-san?" Akasaka reached out to her across the table.

Of course she forgave him, but that was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment. "So will he… be okay?"

"If the attacks continue to increase in severity, they will kill him." At Ichigo's quiver of shock and startlement he quickly added. "But we hope to defeat the aliens before there is any fear of that happening, if we don't finish the antidote first. Please trust us, Ichigo-san."

She extended her hand across the table to meet his, and he covered it with his own. "I'll… do my best," she promised. It was all she could do. "Thanks, Akasaka-san." She stood, her mind still spinning, to return to work.

Zakuro watched Ichigo walk away, the girl's feet weighed down with even heavier thoughts than before. "Mutations, huh?" Zakuro spoke when only two of them remained in the room. "Well, that would explain why our powers have been growing so quickly."

Ichigo returned to work robotically, filling orders without really hearing them and somehow managing to only screw up a few. She wasn't sure it had all sunk in yet. Shirogane was… Shirogane. He was invincible, right? She knew better than that, but it had almost seemed that way. Shirogane was the Mew Project. If he was gone… no, she couldn't think that way. Akasaka was being optimistic, so it had to be okay. Pausing inside the kitchen, she closed her eyes, resolving to take the older man's advice.

When she opened them again, she was face to face with Shirogane.

Her heart nearly jumped to her throat. Ichigo spun around in panic, tripping into the counter in the process. The fruit salad à la mode wobbled from her hands, and soon she was sprawled across the counter chasing rogue cherries and grapes. Without turning, she could feel his eyes on her back. With her behind still half in the air and fruit clutched in her fists, she froze, telling herself to keep cool.

"Where's Keiichirou?" His voice was almost bored, despite the spectacle she'd just played out in front of him.

"H- how would I know?" she snapped in feigned annoyance. She couldn't look at him, or she knew her face would give away everything she knew. Her hands busied themselves putting the fruit salad back together, not that she could really give it to the customer now. She became keenly aware of the silence behind her, and the fact that Shirogane had not moved. Finally risking a peek over her shoulder, she found the blonde studying her with a frown, something that made her very uncomfortable. She wondered briefly if maybe her skirt had flipped up and he was getting himself a full view. I wouldn't be surprised, the pervert. "What are you staring at?" she asked, letting real annoyance seep into her voice this time.

"Your ears," he deadpanned.

Ichigo grabbed at her head, finding a pair of fuzzy cat ears, to her horror. When did those come out! She cursed the blush that threatened to stain her cheeks. Getting control again, she quickly made her ears and tail disappear and scooped up the ruined fruit salad. His eyes had now taken on a strange look that might be read as slight concern or even care. He turned his back, pausing at the doors to the dining room. "Honestly, you shouldn't let those come out so easily."

Her mouth faulted for a moment before she found the words to retort. "Wh- what do you expect me to do, I can't control it!"

He glanced back. "I thought you weren't coming to work today, anyway."

She stared back at him dumbly. Crap! She'd completely forgotten about that! And she'd even told Aoyama-kun she was going to meet him, too. She'd been so caught up thinking about Shirogane after yesterday's incident, it had completely fled her mind. Of course, there was no way she was going to tell him that. "Well… maybe I will leave after all!" she threatened, but the words held no weight, even as she said them. After what she now knew, there was no way she could let herself leave without feeling guilty. Even if it just meant doing a normal day's work at the café, she couldn't abandon him. He had sacrificed everything for this project, and for her, and she was still struggling to comprehend that. She averted her eyes as he turned to leave.

"Suit yourself," he said, and was gone.

She set the dish down on the counter to prepare a new salad. "Sorry… Aoyama-kun," she murmured.