In This Life

A Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic
by abigail / pikari
abigail - at- makenaiDOTorg

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chapter three. complication

(soundtrack. 03. harder to breathe. maroon 5 )

How dare you say that my behavior's unacceptable / So condescending, unnecessarily critical / I have the tendency of getting very physical / So watch your step, cause if I do you'll need a miracle / What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head / You should know better, you never listened to what I said.

Is there anyone out there, 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

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She swung by the handrail turning the corner of the stairwell, her feet flying down the stairs. Masha jangled from her backpack zipper, grateful to be firmly attached. She weaved in and out between students deftly, hoping he hadn't left yet. Breathless, she peered into the classroom. A group of third-year girls stood in a corner chattering, lingering together in the room even after the final bell had rung. But there was no one else. With a sigh, she turned away. Suddenly in the hallway, she spotted the exact object of search walking toward her. Ichigo jumped to attention, a cheerful smile overtaking her face. "Aoyama-kun!"

His look of surprise mingled with something else was quickly replaced by a smile to match her own. "Ichigo."

She bounded up to him nervously. "Um, hey, you don't have practice today, right?"

"Nope." He held up a portfolio of papers. "Just delivering these to the office for Takano-sensei."

"Oh… right." She fell into step alongside him. Geez, I guess he really is a model student. They walked together for several minutes in silence, and all the while Ichigo fretted and squirmed inside, though Aoyama seemed pretty oblivious.

"I'm sorry!" Her words finally shattered the silence.

He stopped in his tracks, obviously surprised at her sudden outburst. Ichigo started talking fast in explanation. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you or call you yesterday. I know I said I was going to get off work, and well, I could have left work, but Shirogane was… well, it's kinda hard to explain, but I was at the café yesterday and I'm so sorry I messed up our chance to have a date!"

"Oh…" He pasted a bright smile on top of his hurt and disappointment. "Don't worry about it, Ichigo! There'll be plenty of other times we can do stuff together."

"Really? You're not mad? Yay, thanks!"

They paused outside the teacher's office. "Um… do you have time to do something right now?" he inquired. "Before you go back to the café?"

She'd been working at the café nonstop, it seemed, so it only came natural that he'd assume she was working again today. Because, she was. But that didn't mean she couldn't take her time getting there. Just a little bit of time with Aoyama-kun… that's not selfish, is it? She cocked her head cutely without realizing she was doing it, and grinned brightly. "Yeah, that sounds great."

An afternoon with Aoyama was giggles and butterflies as always. He rambled on about efforts to save the great pandas in China, but she didn't mind, because the breeze was warm and the chocolate sundae melted on her tongue, cool and sweet and pleasant like the whole world around them. There was something safe and secure in the innocence… in the warm touch of the sun, in the dark folds of his uniform, in the crowds of people who were strangers yet all part of the same thing. If perfection existed in the world, this might be it. She found the day had lulled her to contentment, like a lazy dream… though something unwelcome still nagged the edges of the dream in her mind – a blonde head… and lonely blue eyes.

"Ichigo?" Somewhere Aoyama realized the catgirl wasn't listening. "You seem… distracted."

"Nya? Wha? Wha? No way, not at all!" Ichigo jumped back to attention, rambling like she tended to do when nervous. "Yeah, the pandas are great, I love the pandas! We need to have more pandas in Japan and on TV and stuff like… like the Tare Panda!"

"Ichigo, the Tare Panda is a cartoon character," Aoyama chuckled.

"Oh… right. But… it's still a panda!" She emphasized with a wave of her finger. Closing her mouth quickly, Ichigo decided she had better shut up before she embarrassed herself further. Aoyama-kun probably thought she was an idiot.

He laughed as he stood up. "Well, I'll walk you to the café."

They were only a few blocks from Café Mew Mew, so the walk was a short one. But upon arrival, a "closed" sign stared back at them from the door. "That's strange," Aoyama noted. "Is the café usually closed on Thursday afternoons? I thought you were working."

Ichigo felt the pace of her heart quicken. There was only one reason the café was ever closed. "Ichigo!" Masha squeaked in her ear, and she felt a familiar cold chill run up her spine. She grabbed the pink fluffball and hid it behind her back before Aoyama could notice. "Ah, they must have forgotten to change the sign on the door!" she fibbed quickly. "See, haha, it says closed but it's really open! I'll go in the back door. Okay, bye!"

"Wait, are you sure you don't want me to wait for you unless it's really closed?"

"No, no, don't worry about it! I'm sure someone's here. See ya, thanks for the sundae!" Ichigo dashed around the corner of the building, praying she hadn't been too obvious. "Masha, where is it?" she asked quickly as she released the robot.

"Three blocks from here." Suddenly she was facing Shirogane standing in the back doorway. "A Chimera Anima appeared at the Juuichi Bridge five minutes ago. The others are already on their way. Hurry!"

"Yes!" Ichigo wasted no time in acknowledging and pulling out her round gold locket. She took off across the back lawn, toward another battle, another duty to fulfill. She felt a warm light envelop her as she activated her transformation, and her feet ran swifter and faster toward the danger.

Aoyama walked away slowly from the café's entrance, feeling strangely hesitant to leave. But he did anyway, swinging his bookcase over his shoulder and heading home alone. One last glance back gave him the sight of a single blonde man disappearing into the mouth of the pink building, the towering structure looking lonely in the fading daylight.

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"You idiot!"

Ichigo winced as the reproof came the moment she stepped in the door, like a slap in the face. Though it wasn't like it had been unexpected. Shirogane stormed toward her, and the other girls scattered, eager to avoid getting caught in the wake of his fury. Thanks for the support, guys, Ichigo thought sardonically.

"What kind of stunt do you think you were trying to pull?" His blue eyes flashed. "You could have been killed!"

"I… I was only…" Yes, the move had been stupid. She was lucky she had only walked away with a very bruised arm from landing on the Chimera Anima's diamond-hard scales. When the creature had jumped from the bridge, she had panicked. It was either follow him or let him get away for good, and in her current state of mind she couldn't let him do that. Actually, her current state of mind was she hadn't been thinking, period. Which was why she had very nearly jumped to her death in the middle of rush-hour Tokyo traffic, to apprehend a small-fry Anima that probably hadn't been worth the effort, much less the risk.

"You were only recklessly endangering your life, not to mention the citizens on the street! What would have happened if the Chimera Anima hadn't been there to break your fall?" Ichigo felt her cheeks burning in the face of Shirogane's lecture. I guess he really is mad.

"We'd have strawberry pancakes, that's what." Minto felt the need to poke her head in to answer Shirogane's rhetorical question. Ichigo ignored her.

"But, we beat it, didn't we?" she offered half-heartedly.

He sighed, letting his hand hang wearily. Ichigo noticed that his shoulders slumped and he looked older than his mere fifteen years. "Just don't… ever do that again." When he looked up again, his voice held softer concern. "Are you alright?"

She bit her lip and nodded silently. The bruises still throbbed, but they would heal. She watched him walk away, before something odd clicked in her mind. What was wrong with this picture? She had just saved the day, and how was it that she was one to get chewed out? "Hey!" she started after him as he disappeared into the basement. "Hey, wait a minute!" He paused at the end of the stairway as she ran to catch up. "How about a 'thank you'!" she shot at him. "Or at least a 'good job'! I practically killed myself out there, and all I get is a lecture?"

"Exactly, Ichigo. You could have killed yourself. That's hardly a good job." He turned away toward the computers.

She knew he was only worried about her, and that he didn't want her to take unnecessary risks. She knew that. She should have stopped there, but her mouth just kept moving, almost like she had no control. "So what, you wanted me to let him escape? And that's a good job? At least I'm doing something – I bust my butt every day to fight these stupid monsters! I'm doing the best that I can! That's what I did today. I promised to try my hardest, and that's what I'm doing because if I don't… because otherwise you – " Her breath caught as he turned to meet her eyes, and the last two words from her lips faded in the air between them. " – …might… die."

She watched his eyes widen for a moment, as fragments of rare emotion flickered across his face. His unbroken gaze seemed to pierce straight through her, those eyes full of depth she would never understand. For a few moments that felt like hours, Ichigo told herself to look away, but found it impossible, even while she was mentally screaming at herself to do so. Finally he turned his head darkly, muttering something that sounded like "Keiichirou".

Ichigo opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She bit her lip instead. He threw his head back toward the ceiling with a chuckle, to her amazement. "That's a stupid reason to risk your life," he said, letting his eyes fall shut, but when he opened them again, they held no laughter. Ichigo felt a pain of disappointment pierce her middle. Did that mean he didn't care? She'd honestly been concerned ever since Akasaka had told her the truth, and would he simply dismiss it like this? She really would never understand him. Yet there was something in his face that didn't match the carelessness of his voice.

He was studying her silently again. She squirmed, wondering if she should voice an excuse to leave or just turn and go. Before she had a chance to do either, he surprised her by stepping forward, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her close. She gasped at the sudden nearness of his warmth, his hand pressed at the base of her spine. What is he doing? Stupid heart, why are you beating like that? Just like at the dance… "Were you worried about me, Momomiya Ichigo?" His voice was soft and low beside her ear. This near, she could even smell his scent. Frantically she told her heart to calm down, wondering what had suddenly caused him to act this way. I mean, she had Aoyama-kun! An involuntary shiver ran through her body at the tickle of his breath on her ear. Shirogane felt her shudder in his arms and smiled to himself at the reaction he'd caused. He glanced up to see his move had been a success, as expected.

"Well, that was easy." He released a very confused Ichigo just as suddenly as he had embraced her. She stood blinking, trying to figure out what he was talking about, when she felt something grasp her tail. Wait a minute! Tail? Her fingers found the cursed cat-ears on top of her head again. She whirled to discover the end of her tail in Shirogane's hands. "Don't worry, all I want is a sample," he said, producing a pair of tweezers from out of nowhere. Her mouth dropped open in speechless disbelief. All he wanted was…a sample! Before she could voice a scream of protest he had plucked a tuft of black hair and instead she gave a yelp of pain. Ichigo snatched her stinging tail back protectively, and dashed for the stairs without a second thought. Her face was burning, and she was fuming inside. How could she have ever thought she cared about him, even the tiniest bit? He'd practically seduced her, for a sample? If he wanted her tail to come out, why couldn't he just scare her like a normal person?

"You jerk!" she exclaimed as she escaped up the stairs. "I can't believe I jumped off a bridge for you!"

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He collapsed into a chair several hours later in front of the microscope. He was exhausted, and this research was going nowhere. Unconsciously he rubbed the side of his neck; he'd had to use yet another injection. Each attack seemed to leave him feeling more and more drained, and he wasn't sure how long he could keep this up. But what was more frustrating was the direction his research was going – in circles.

There was something he was overlooking. There had to be. But he didn't know what. He had trusted Father's research completely, and more than that, he had trusted his own memory of Father's notes. But could there be something they had both missed? The Project was a risk, even the professor had known and admitted that. But their research had been exhaustive. Maybe his real error had been in trusting his own ego to believe the Project was flawless. If it was only his own life at risk, the error would be forgivable, but such was not the case anymore.

He couldn't help a ghost of a smile that crept across his face thinking of the conversation from earlier, if it could be called that. Really, she could be so obvious sometimes, and he admitted he took advantage of that. He probably should have said something more, but what those words would have been he had no idea. He didn't want her pity. That was the last thing in the world he wanted. He hadn't quite figured out what it was he did want from her, though, aside from the obvious saving-the-world thing.

But… he was getting distracted. The data on the screen stared back as if it were mocking him. He wasn't angry with Keiichirou. Maybe a little annoyed, but not angry. But then again, the guy never could keep a straight face when he was lying, so it was bound to come out eventually, especially when the attack from the other day made it clear that something abnormal was up. He'd only wanted to make sure of the real danger before letting the truth out. The real danger to them. He had taken on this project as his responsibility, but now he wondered just how reckless it had really been.

He returned to the computer, hoping it would give him the answers he wanted. Somehow, he doubted it would.

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"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" A familiar chorus of apologies sounded inside the dining room of the cafe, following the crash of dishes. Today's accident wasn't the usual culprit, however.

"Ichigo! Are you being clumsy or just stupid? You're being worse than Retasu today, and that's pathetic."

Hearing Minto's sharp rebuke, a hint of hurt crossed over the mild green-haired girl's face, but she smiled despite it. "It's okay, Ichigo-san. Here, let me help you clean up."

"Leave me alone, Minto!" the catgirl whined defensively. She assumed a pretentious pose. "I've had a very hard day, so you can't pick on me."

"And you think you're the only one? Wake up and stop being so selfish, Ichigo!"

"Um... maybe we should just clean this up." Retasu hated interrupting people, but she knew all too well that Ichigo and Minto could go on like this forever.

"Retasu, you shouldn't help her, or she'll never learn to do anything by herself," Minto chided the shy girl, who was already picking up the pieces of the broken dishes.

"Oh, look who's talking, Miss I-never-do-anything!"

"I don't mind, really," Retasu interjected softly. "Since I'm used to cleaning up all the dishes I drop. I can finish this by myself, so don't worry, Ichigo-san," she smiled. She'd changed her mind – the sooner she could get the two squabbling girls away from her, the better. She loved them as best friends, but it could get pretty tiring after a while. That was also probably the reason Zakuro had disappeared to take another break.

"Uh... I guess I can go get a broom," Ichigo relented. With another apology and a deep bow to the syrup-splattered customer, she scurried off to the kitchen, almost getting plowed over by Purin's balancing ball on the way there. She ignored the customers' attempts to wave her down and slipped quickly away from the dining room.

"Ichigo-san!" Akasaka was right there to greet her. His hands flew as he prepared a tray of sugary desserts, and he was looking just a little frazzled. Thursday afternoons were usually pretty busy, but today had been crazy, and there was still another hour left to go. They both cringed as another crash sounded from the dining room, followed by a cry of "Purin is really sorry, no da!" Akasaka smiled and shook his head, but Ichigo could read his countenance, which sighed, There goes another good set of dishes...

"Would you take those to Ryou for me, please? He's been working on the computers in the back all afternoon and hasn't had a chance to eat." Akasaka nodded toward a plate, which was neatly prepared with sandwiches, a sliced apple, and a few of the cream puffs he'd baked yesterday. Ichigo stared at the plate with a little disdain, not for the food but for who it was meant for. Take it... to Shirogane? The memory of her stinging tail still burned freshly in her mind. Maybe she could get out of it by helping Retasu with the cleanup. She opened her mouth to protest. "But, I need to..."

"Thanks!" Akasaka called distractedly over his shoulder as he gathered up the tray and dashed into the kitchen to deliver it to impatient customers. She stared down the plate with her best glare. When it didn't react, Ichigo sighed in resignation. Scooping up the plate, she headed for the computer room, bracing herself for the next confrontation. She shoved the door open roughly. "Hey, Shirogane!"

Silence. No response. No movement came from inside the dim little room. Ichigo stepped forward hesitantly. She could see his figure seated in the chair, a mass of blonde hair illuminated by the computer's pale glow. In a moment of panic she rushed forward, only to stop dead in her tracks at what she saw. His shoulders rose and fell with soft breathing, to her secret relief. But she couldn't believe what was in front of her. He was slumped over on the keyboard... fast asleep.

His head rested on his hand on the keyboard. His features were relaxed in sleep, although even in rest his brow seemed knit with exhaustion. Ichigo stared at the sleeping figure, as her mind had yet to process any better reaction. What should she do? If she woke him up, he was sure to get mad and say something mean. Hesitantly she brought her face down to the level of his. "Idiot," she tested softly, then gaining confidence – "Jerk. Ogre. Big, fat bully. Evil meanie!"

No reaction.

Wow, I guess he really is asleep. She set the plate down on the table behind them, pondering her next course of action. She should just turn and leave, but... he didn't look very comfortable in that position. Spotting a sweatshirt on a nearby chair that probably belonged to Akasaka, Ichigo folded it into a makeshift pillow, and carefully – so very painstakingly careful – lifted Shirogane's head to slide the padding between him and the hard keyboard. She was so certain he would wake up and yell at her, but he never did. He was out cold. She wondered if he'd stayed up all night working on research. Taking his own jacket from its hanger, she draped it over his shoulders as protection from the chilly room air. Satisfied, she stepped back.

Long lashes brushed his perfect cheekbones, lips slightly parted as soft, steady breath escaped them. Strands of wheat-gold hair fell haphazardly across his eyes. She really hated to admit it, but when he was sleeping, he was almost... cute. Frowning, she leveled her face to his again. "Probably because that's the only time you're actually pleasant," she muttered, resisting the urge to flick him on the nose the way he always did to her. Allowing herself to study the sleeping figure for just a few more seconds, she placed the plate of food beside the computer where he was sure to see it, then quietly escaped from the room.