Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any related characters. Also, I do not own anything related to Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm only borrowing characters and settings to appease my muse.
Why is the Coffee Gone?
Daniel felt the beginnings of a headache coming on as he started to wake up. Now how had he gotten a headache? Oh yes, of course. SG1 had gone to px746, a water world where the inhabitants lived on remote islands. They had then proceeded to get kidnapped my vicious pirates who wanted to sacrifice Jack and Teal'c to appease the savage gods, or something like that anyway. Apparently they hadn't needed him and Sam. That became apparent when they had marooned them on this tiny island. Daniel thanked the stars that they hadn't taken his pack away, it had his coffee supply, enough to last three weeks! He and Sam had stayed up half the night drinking coffee, and had gotten very hyper.
Daniel came fully awake when he realized something was burning. Startled, he leaped to his feet and looked around for Sam. There she was. What was she doing? It looked like half the island was on fire! Running like a mad man, he made his way over to her.
"No good, no good!" Daniel yelled. "What are you doing, you're burning all the shade, our food, and my coffee's GONE!"
"Yes, your coffee's gone." Sam calmly replied.
"But, why is the coffee gone?"
"Because" Sam replied, "In large quantities it makes even the most respectable men make complete idiots out of themselves. Besides, Jack spiked it before we left. I'm using the alcohol in the coffee to burn the trees. You see that smoke? It's over one thousand feet high. By this time, Hammond will have Thor over the planet looking for us. Do you really think he won't see that?"
"Yes" Daniel replied. "But the COFFEE IS GONE!" With that, Daniel turned and stomped away muttering to himself about meddling women and coffee. Suddenly, he felt himself in the grip of what he knew to be Thor's beam up device. His last thought before he disappeared from the island was "There will be no living with her after this."