Changing of a Slut: Diary of a Good Prep Gone Punk
By Jasmine Starlight
Disclaimer: Save some face, you know you've only got one. Change your ways while you're young. Smile like you mean it. Boy one day you'll be a man, oh girl she'll help you understand. Smile like you mean it. Looking back at sunsets on the East Side. Dreams aren't what they used to be. Smile like you mean it.
The Killers…………………..TT
Shameless Plug: Read A Trial Separation, A Yuy Daughter, The Element's Intervention, Breaking The Band, Familial Ties, Youth Lost Is Never Forgotten and if you're really a masochist read Things Change. :D
Another chapter. Another plot twist.
CHAPTER TEN
EMOTIONAL 360°
The next few days after that, while I was still wearing my all-black wardrobe, were hard.
I was still clinging to that cliché of an axiom that read: "If you truly love something you'll let it go and if it doesn't come back to you, it wasn't meant to be."
I was such a retard
OoOoOoO
As I sat at my customary place at our lunch table, I poked at my green Jell-O halfheartedly, watching it jiggle in place.
Proverbially, do any of us really move forward? Or are we just jiggling in place like my square of gelatin.
Are we all fooled that well, that we think that we move forward but it's only an illusion of the shimmy and the shake?
"Mina?" asked Rei.
"Hmmm?" I replied distractedly, this time studying my yams.
"We need to talk," she said firmly.
"What about?" I said absently.
"I think you know." she replied.
"Rei, if this is about Seamus you—"
"I can what? Tell you the truth? Tell you that Relena doctored those pictures? Tell you—"
"What?" I said, twitching.
"I said that Relena made those pictures so she could bring you down." said Rei tersely.
I made a face so cross, homicidal and trenchant Heero would have been proud.
"You know she's expecting you to fall on your face." Rei said nonchalantly.
"Oh, she wishes." I said mordantly.
"So, what're we going to do about this?"
"We?"
"Yes. We, as in us. Like us girls."
"I'll tell you what we'll do." I said slowly.
"What'll we do?"
"Hmmm?" I said dazedly.
"You trailed off."
"Oh, sorry."
"So?"
"So what?"
"What're we doing?"
"About?"
"Relena."
"Oh, yeah." I replied as I leant forward and relayed my brilliant scheme to her.
OooOoOI fiddled nervously with the mini skirt and halter top that I wore to Relena's door, I almost wobbled on the high heels that were the bane of my existence.
Ringing the doorbell and steeling my face, I waited for an answer.
When Pagan answered, I requested to see Relena, he acquiesced and I was in her dreaded house once again.
As I made my way up the grand staircase to Relena's room, I put on my best-broken hearted-cute-girl-and-I-know-it face.
As I entered Relena put on her best I-told-you-so-but-I'm-not-trying-to-hide-it face.
"I'm so sorry." I started.
"It's okay." Relena said syrupy sweet.
I wanted to vomit, but I suppressed the urge to barf all over her designer clothes.
"They were so—pedestrian." I trailed off, trying not to choke on my own words.
"I know."
"They brainwashed me, into dating that loser skater freak."
"I know, it's all right, we'll repay them."
"Really?" I said blinking fake tears away.
"Yes, let me tell you all about it." she said slinging an arm around my shoulder and leading me into her room.
Sucker.
"Relena can I have something to drink?" I asked mistily.
"Of course, Mina, I'll be right back." Then she left the room.
I waited until her footsteps could no longer be heard on the soft carpet, and then I began to search her room.
I was searching for her yearbook, PDA, and diary.
The yearbook and diary were crucial to our plan, and the PDA was just for my personal enjoyment. It was a good thing I had closed the door; for if Zechs happened to walk by on his way to his own quarters he might ask some questions I couldn't really answer.
Suddenly Relena's footsteps were making their way back to the room. I panicked, what was she coming back for?
"Mina?" she asked suspiciously. "Why is the door locked?"
I had to think quickly, banging my head on her dresser; I answered in a pained voice. "Oh, Relena I'm just so sorry, my emotions ran away with me. I didn't want you to see me like this, you've done so much for me already."
I could feel her smirking, "Mina, is vodka alright? I have tequila as well."
"Umm… whatever you think is best Relena." I replied quickly, to chase her away.
This time I watched her walk down the stairs, then I re-locked the door and placed a chair against it for good measure.
I took out my digital camera and began taking close-ups of the pages in her diary, I couldn't take it or she might suspect something. Then, pulling out the disk I copied it onto my own PDA, after saving a copy, I emailed it to Ami.
Putting it back in its place, I moved onto her PDA. After copying her schedule and serial number, which I also emailed to Ami so she could hack into it later, I put that back in its place.
I hid the yearbook in my bag, then I turned to her computer, and forwarded several messages to our student body, going to her recently deleted mail, I sent that to Ami, and saved it onto a floppy of my own for safety precautions.
Putting all my technology away save my camera, I moved onto her closet from which I took several pictures.
Then I pulled on my gloves and went through her dresser.
During my search I found several voodoo dolls and surprisingly many schemes that Relena had plotted out on paper.
I had to give her an A for effort, taking the dolls, scraps of paper and the odd picture of Heero, I moved onto to her shoe bin.
Digging into it, I found the box that was hidden under the Gucci sling backs and Manolo Blahniks.
Opening it, I took inventory, her second diary, a green tank top and spandex shorts, which were oddly enough, in a men's size, and jackpot another book, her day planner, I put it in my bag as well, and took off my gloves disposed in the trashcan.
Just for the fun of it, I found a pair of scissors and began snipping, nothing too noticeable, but just the right size to draw the eyes and piss off Relena to no end.
I then, camouflaged it with several tissues, I took one and crumbled it in my fist, and then I unlocked the door and sat on the bed.
Relena entered and gave me a pitying look at my disheveled appearance, thinking I had been crying, in actuality it was because I had been rummaging through her personal affects.
Handing me a snazzy looking drink, (which I subsequently fed to a houseplant), she sat down on the bed next to me and relayed her "brilliant" plan to me.
Which I was recording with my cassette player, really it wasn't worth it, as her plan was just to spread some rumors, get people drunk, play Truth Or Dare, and make people reveal the skeletons in their respective closets while catching it all on tape.
Dumb whore.
OoOoOoOThat night, I was to go a karaoke bar as usual, with my phantasm of new friends, Relena of course knew and so did they but Relena didn't know they knew.
It was really recondite. SAT word.
Whatever, what was most significant about that night was the company that met us there.
OoOoOoO
As we arrived, like a swarm of locusts, we seized a whole section of the place for ourselves and ordered what seemed like enough food to feed an army.
We were about to decide what music to choose from jukebox, because no one felt singing, when the guys entered.
Which would have been fine, normally.
Key word being normally.
You see the only problem here was Seamus.
They made their way over to our table, as Seamus passed me I felt an intense burning into my back.
Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I made my selection and prowled back to the table.
Giving the male end of the table a cool once over, I resumed my previous conversations, patiently I was waiting for the music to come drifting out of speakers, washing over us and riddling us with a phantasmagoria of mental images.
The night will come
And rip away,
Her wings of innocence
Through every word we say
Maybe it's time
To spit out the core
Of our rotting union
Hopefully before it chokes
Us to our senses
I carefully watched the emotions play across Seamus' face, I waited for the eruption.
Guess it's too bad
That everything we have
Is taken away
There was none, Seamus was cool and collected, I waited.
Swim in the smoke
The hero will drown
Intoxicating beauty tears
Everything down
But our hands are
Still bound at the wrist
This romantic tragedy is
Suffocating from your fist,
In a sea of fire
Hero, hero, this word you'll never know
As the last strains of the song drifted off, Seamus got up and placed a request of his own.
Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
When all your lies become your truths
And I don't care…yeah, yeah, yeah
Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
I responded with:
Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance
Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss guarded heart
Miss play it smart
And so we were at war, his next move was this:
Hey I see the trees are green again
Maybe this time around you'll set the trend
Today's the day you make your mark I'm sure
But I, can't stop you
There you go again
Falling like a star
Sinking like a stone
Watching as the world you're in
Now takes it's toll
I seethed, which in itself was odd, in retrospect I never realized why I was so angry about that particular song, and Seamus sat coldly.
Brush the dust off
It's dawn again my friend
Next time you'll get it
Next time you'll make amends
Tomorrow's children will need a light to shine the way
Without you, without you, who will tell them to stay?
Cause you're falling like a star
Sinking like a stone
Watching as the world you're in now
Slowly takes it's toll
I don't think you know
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
But you try, but you try, but you try
You lucky you
You lucky you
You lucky you
You lucky you
You lucky you
You lucky you
You lucky you
Guess you know what I did next.
Kanashii hodo hikari dashita
Shiroi yami kirisaku tsubasa ni nare
Tsumetai taiyou ni terasareteta
Kainara sareta Jiyuu ga atta
Kagami ni utsutta kiseki no yoru
MASUKU or hazushi hajimeta MY SOUL
Kuzure te yuku abe no mukou wa
Zetsubou mo kibou mo onaji kao suru
Mita sare kokoro aru nara
Tobi tateru shuumatsu no PUROROOGU e
I felt as if I knew this song from somewhere, a TV series or something.
Yaiba no youna kaze fuku sekai
Mamoru beki mono wa nan nano ka?
Hitotsu hitotsu itami o shiru tabi
Honto no jibun e to chikazuku
Kie yuku Fake Light
Umare yuku True Light
Kono te ni…
Kie yuku Fake Light
Umare yuku True Light
Kono te ni…
Back and forth, to and fro.
This wasted so many nights and again
I've wasted so much time on a friend
Too young to proud to understand
So this is the end
It looked like the others were planning something.
You've gone too far. I'm standing alone
Let's sort this out together
You're right, without a fight
It might worth it to you, but I can't take this anymore.
Duo stood up with a large smile on his wide face, "Mina! I need you to help me get some drinks!" he said, clapping his hands together enthusiastically.
I stood up warily, keeping an eye on Duo to see if he did anything funny.
As we made our way towards the bar, I was vaguely, aware peripherally, that two more people were standing as well.
Duo lead me toward the bar, then he veered off towards the coat closet, "Hey Duo, the bar is that way!"
Suddenly he stopped short causing me to bump into him, "Hey what's the big idea—"
Grabbing my arm he shoved me into the closet and shut the door.
"Hey! Let me out!"
The door was opened briefly, so they could shove Seamus in as well.
"Hey! LET ME OUT!" I bellowed.
"I'm sorry I can't hear you until you and Seamus have made up!" said Duo jovially.
I scowled fiercely, Seamus grunted noncommittally.
"So, what do we do now?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"What do you mean nothing?" I asked incredulously. "If you haven't noticed they just locked us in a closet."
"Eventually they'll let us out."
"Which would be when?"
"How should I know?"
"This is just great."
"I know, isn't it?"
"Not in the mood for your attitude."
"Really? I wasn't in the mood to be dumped, but that happened anyway didn't it? Stop whining." he said leaning against a wall.
"What exactly is that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think it means?"
"You tell me."
"Alright, I think that you're being hypocritical by going back to hanging out with Relena and not telling everyone here, especially since she broke us up. Oh, yeah, you don't care about that."
"I do care about it." I said quietly.
"That's funny, because it doesn't seem like it to me."
"I'm hanging out with Relena again because we're planning something."
"Who's we?"
"The girls."
"That's nice."
"You don't have to be sarcastic and bitter you know."
"And you didn't have to dump me."
"Still on that aren't we?"
"Yeah, I wonder why?" he said sarcastically.
"Stop that." I said.
"Why? I want a reason, I deserve a reason."
I remained silent, "No answer? Aww, poor Mina—"
"I was scared, alright!" I exclaimed.
Seamus seemed puzzled, "This was my first real relationship, with actual feelings involved, and it was getting serious and then that thing happened, so I backed off."
"You couldn't have told me this before now?" he asked indignantly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean if you had told me you needed space, I would have backed off."
"You would have?" I asked dumbly.
"Yes." He replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it might have been.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Then I attempted to start up a conversation, it was squashed by Seamus' lips against mine.
It had been a long time.
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're waking up
And I'm tangled in you
Yeah
I'm open you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
As we broke apart for air, I leaned my head against his chest, "So, still need that space?" he asked cockily.
I thumped at his chest half-heartedly before leaning onto him and listening to his heart thump.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
END
Look for the next chapter of A Trial Separation, soon.
Songs I Used
Howie Day-
Collide
Story of the Year-
Razorblades
Burning Years
And The Hero Will Drown
Lostprophets-
Lucky You
Michelle Branch-
Are You Happy Now?
Kelly Clarkson-
Miss Independent
Bon Jovi-
It's My Life
No Doubt-
I'm Just A Girl
Placebo-
Sleeping With Ghosts
Slackerbitch
Linkin Park-
Crawling
Place For My Head
With You
D N Angel-
Opening Theme (I love that song!)
Actually I like all these songs or I wouldn't have chosen them to be in a fic that turned out to be one of my best.
This story beats TEI by a slight margin.
Only because I have 15 chapters of TEI up and only ten of this.
But TEI is doing ok with 50ish reviews so I'm not complaining. Or was it 60?
Doesn't matter to me, some of my reviewers have disappeared though.
Cough cough Firenze!
ROCK ON
suntiger- short? Um… couplings…I was thinking Hiei/Ami and Lita/ Kurama I got a review asking for Mina/Kazuma and one for Hiei/Hotaru and another for Kurama/Lita, which doesn't surprise me because there are like two of those and they are both by the same author. I need feedback, let me know in your next review.
Jewels14- Coo coo. Peeps.
NixiNox- Interested in another chapter of Youth Lost But Not Forgotten or A Trial Separation? I think you might have reviewed both of them.
Seishuku Shinimegami- I also have a powerful weapon. HAHA! The delete button. HACK HACK! I'm dying of a cold here.
SachiNyoko- I think I might have saved your story somewhere. I was looking at the date of your review and thinking was I really that late? Updating in April when you reviewed in March?