It was just a hunt, she had said, and her belly hadn't swelled yet, it wouldn't be in the way. The cub had just begun, she wanted to take part in one more hunt before she would be forced to hole up back at the Holt with the other lifebearers. It was just a hunt, and anyway Rain the Healer was coming with them. Skywise had pleaded, first with Cutter, then with Bearclaw, until they had agreed to take her along.
And of course when they sensed the strange scent and felt the terror in the air, it would have made no sense to send her alone back to the holt. Surely she was safer with all the hunters?
But it would turn out that no one was safe that night. Rain the Healer was the first to die. The monster attacked wolf and elf alike, and with one slash of a huge paw it threw Skywise down before she had time to escape.
She fell on rocks, and the pain was unbearable. The monster was in her head, it could send, but that wasn't the worst of it. The worst was the faint and wordless sending, first inside her, then, horribly, nowhere, out in the air - the last caress of the spirit of her unborn cub as it died and left her. It was with her just long enough for her to learn that it would have been a daughter.
"Run! Run for your lives!" Bearclaw commanded. Skywise couldn't even walk, so Cutter carried her and helped her into a tree. Voices around them called for Brownberry, Longbranch, and Foxfur.
Fahr? Are you all right?
Tam… Oh, Tam! Our cub… is no more. I felt her die.
Cutter wrapped her in a tight embrace, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. Then they heard Bearclaw's anguished voice:
"Joyleaf!"
"Answer us, sister!" Treestump added his voice to the call.
When no answer came, Bearclaw climbed down and stood still a long time, sending.
Go to him. Skywise knew what Cutter wanted. Joyleaf is my mother, too. She would not say "was". Not before it was certain. The thought was too terrible. Wasn't losing one mother enough?
Apparently not. There was no measure, no limit to the pain Madcoil had brought. Joyleaf was gone. Bearclaw wanted to revenge his lifemate, and he wanted to go alone. The others objected of course, but he drew New Moon and made it a matter of challenge.
"Who wants to cross me? You, One-Eye? Treestump?"
A new day was dawning. Skywise had gained enough of her strength to stand on her own. She could hardly believe her ears when Cutter spoke:
"The others must go back, I agree! But I'm coming with you! You can't stop me!"
He had never defied his chief before. To everyone's surprise, Bearclaw didn't object. He turned to track the beast, while Cutter held back a moment longer.
"Treestump… If we don't come back, you are chief. Take the tribe far away from here. Bearclaw and I want you to live – understand?" Then he turned to Skywise.
"That includes you too. Don't come after us, no matter what. I have to know you are safe."
"Oh, lifemate! Timmain keep you!"
She had never called him lifemate before. She knew if she embraced him now she would never be able to let go. So she just stared at him, and after him, until One-Eye had to take hold of her shoulders and turn her to the path towards the Holt.
Days went by. The lifeless remains of the unborn cub left Skywise's womb with more pain than an actual birth would have been. Moonshade had scolded her first, for going on the hunt, but at last she too could only pity the stargazer. She was a shadow of her former self, refusing to eat until Clearbrook forced her to.
Then the summons came. The wolves howled a message from Cutter, and no-one questioned when Skywise declared she would go with the others.
Cutter sat on a stone in the middle of a glade. He did not answer Treestump's greeting. Skywise ran into his arms. They had no words, not even a sending. Skywise sensed his sorrow was even deeper than before, and stood back, waiting.
Treestump spoke, explaining they had left Woodlock to guard the lifebearers. Cutter interrupted his babbling:
"Bearclaw's dead!"
There was a moment of silence. Too much sorrow, Skywise thought, all too much.
Treestump took out a bit of leather cord and tied the chief's lock in Cutter's hair.
"What is your will, my chief?"
Skywise stared at her young lifemate. He seemed older, suddenly. Stronger. She tried to tell herself it was just a bit of leather in his hair, that nothing had changed – but she knew her whole world had changed, and herself with it.
Cutter answered Treestump's question:
"Madcoil can be killed. Bearclaw wounded it! But he was wrong to think he could destroy the monster alone! I promised Bearclaw I'd finish what he began – but I need all of you to help me."
Then he did something Bearclaw had never done. He asked them:
"Will you?" He could have commanded them, but he didn't. And with that choice he won them over.
They tricked Madcoil from its den and caught it in a net, and Cutter stabbed it right through the eye. Skywise watched, heart racing, as he used himself to bait the monster. She loved him with all her heart, but watching him that day she learned to truly respect him, too.
Three turns later Recognition reinforced its hold on them, sudden and undeniable. But no new life began, and Skywise learned the full depth of the wounds Madcoil had left in her. She would never be a lifebearer again, at least not while they had no healer.
After that revelation, of course, there was no reason to keep her from fighting the humans. Cutter was surprised and a bit scared of the wrath his lifemate felt towards them.
to be continued... please review!