A story about life, love, courage, and testing ultimate friendship. What happens to Beetlejuice and his friends when one of their own falls into despair and changes completely? Nothing will ever be the same. This story is an Alternate Universe set five years after Dark Shadows, and does not follow the intended story line. I repeat, this story does NOT follow the intended story line of the two stories (A New Beginning & Dark Shadows) included in my Beetlejuice Afterlife series, which is why it is simply titled "Mania" and not "Beetlejuice Afterlife – Mania". If I have someone ask me why I would put this as a sequel, I'll ignore them, because, right here it says: THIS STORY IS NOT A SEQUEL. This story was just bursting to be written, but I have no intention to make it part of my previous series. It just happens to use that series' events as a prelude. I hope there is no confusion.
Please note the rating. The language in this story is a lot harsher than that of the other stories I've written, so be forewarned in case you weren't expecting something "tame" like that. This story also addresses adult subjects such as suicide, sexuality, and nonconsensual sex (ie rape) which are not intended for children under the age of, really, 18. In essence, read at your own risk. I am not responsible if you get in trouble when there have been warnings and ratings posted all over this story.
I had this whole big hooplah written about my reasoning for writing this story the way I did, concentrating on only a few characters, etc. But I realized something when I remembered what I read in a "how to write" book once. "Never give a synopsis of your story or explain your workthe work should explain itself. If It needs help, it isn't ready to be sent out." So, I am going to let my work speak for itself. So aside from the usual technical dribble that's already been stated, I will say nothing more in this intro about what to expect, or explain my reasoning for what I've written. All I will say is: I haven't been this excited over my own writing for a long time, and I hope it shows through when you read it. I've poured a lot more than I usually do into this story, and I hope that shows through as well. All in all, please enjoy, and do let me know how you liked it in a review. Thank you! ^_^
DISCLAIMER: The only one you'll see on this story, since it only needs said once at the beginning. Beetlejuice and all affiliated copyrighted characters, names, locations, and concepts are copyright Geffen Film Company. Original characters Endri, Kyle, Avo, Dr. Pepper, Faygo, Moira, Kaia, Frank, and other randomly inserted original people, and original story concept are copyright to me, Spencers13 (or Lacey G to be technical). Dr Pepper (the soft drink - with no period ".") is copyright Dr Pepper/Seven-Up Inc. Faygo (the soft drink) is copyright Faygo Beverages Inc.
Mania
Spencers13 – March 2003–March 2004
R – Drama – Angst
Chapter One – All Is Lost
Deep, melancholy tones floated over the Neitherworld landscape perfectly accenting the surrounding night. Infinite stars shone overhead, twinkling brightly. Three ratty moons hung in an arc over the sky, setting the unnatural land beneath aglow with ethereal blue. It was hauntingly beautiful, but also hauntingly oppressing.
A slow, somber tune floated across the atmosphere, dripping with sadness, longing, and sorrow. The source was a fife, it's player sitting alone upon the roof of BJ's Roadhouse. His eyes were closed, and his body swayed just slightly, lost in the dark tones of his song.
The man, young by many standards in the Neitherworld, was Endri Juice, son of Beetlejuice, the self–proclaimed "Ghost with the Most". He had been up there for almost three hours, losing himself in his song for over half an hour now. The blonde ghost enjoyed the solitude, craved it sometimes, even. And when he played his fife, he was able to express so many emotions otherwise difficult to get across to otherseven himself.
Gradually, his song, signifying his entire afterlife up until that point, came to an end. The small instrument was lowered away from his lips and rested into his lap, his fingers still poised over the keys, simply holding it there. He sighed, staring out over the landscape at the horizon in the distance, watching as the stars slowly spun in their places in space and watching as the Neitherworld spun slowly. It made everything seem as though those heavenly bodies were moving in and endless circle and not the planet.
The three moons overhead—full of holes, but still massive enough to light the land below with their pale, blue light—shone on Endri's pallid, nearly lavender skin, setting it aglow. A light breeze drifted by, disturbing his long, blonde hair and playing with the strands, tossing it about his head in a beautiful dance. The wind was warm against his skin and smelled a lot fresher than usual. The Neitherworld wasn't exactly the freshest or cleanest place in the Universe, but tonight it was reeking with it's own unnatural beauty.
All of it was lost upon the ghost, however.
Nothing could seem to penetrate the depressed air about him. He simply sat and brooded, thought and stared straight ahead. To any onlookers, he could have been mistaken for a statue—another odd piece that Beetlejuice had collected from someplace or the other.
"Kyle"
Stepping out from behind the neon BJ's sign, Kyle Bennington reached up and held onto the frame for support. "HeyI stopped by for a while, and when I couldn't find you I–I heard this music playing and thought"
"It's all right," Endri said, not looking over. He reached down to the side and patted the roofing next to him, offering Kyle a seat.
The human stepped over cautiously, wary of falling off of the slick roof. He sat down next to his friend and propped his heels into one of the corrugated dips in the roofing tile, feeling safer with that bit of support under his feet.
They sat in silence for a time, both staring off into the sky in the distance and watching everything go by. The night was clear and bright, and it brought a smile to Kyle's lips. Neitherworld nights, as long as they weren't frightening, were quite a spectacle to behold. He sighed quietly, and finally tilted his head to take a peek at Endri beside him. The ghost's visage was twisted into a perfect mask of indifference. Something had to be up.
"Endriis there something bothering you?" Kyle asked, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the peaceful mood that hung around them.
"What makes you think that?"
"I can feel it almost—sense it like you can sense stuff."
Endri smirked emptily but never looked over. He sighed and blinked slowly, lifting his eyes more skyward. "You knowsometimes I stare at the skies, and I think of all the other planetseverything else out thereand I realize just how absolutely insignificant I really am."
Kyle frowned slightly, carefully observing his friend. Something didn't sound right about his voice.
"You know that the smaller something gets, it will eventually not exist anymore. And I'm so tiny in the vast scope of the UniverseI don't really exist."
The human still couldn't shake that uneasy feeling that something wasn't right, and now he was positive. "Oh, come–on, Endri, don't be dumb."
Shaking his head, the ghost continued to stare upward. He had yet to even glance at his best friend. "You're a scientist, Kyle. You know all about that. You know it's true."
"Yeah, but you do exist. That crap is only a theory anyway. Why are you talking like this? I've never heard you say suchdepressing things."
Endri sighed and lowered his head, closing his eyes. "BecauseI'm tired. I'm so weary of waking up every single day and thinking, 'Oh, boy, another fun–filled, glorious day! What, oh, what shall I do today? How about the same exact thing I did yesterday!'" He sighed deeply, slipping his lavender tongue from his mouth to wet his lips. "No, Kyle, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trudging through my existence from one day to the next and losing my sanity bit by bit. I'm tired of it all. I just want everything to stop."
Kyle sat quietly for a moment, going back over some of what the ghost had said and picking it apart, as he usually did. "Endriwhat's wrong?"
Smirking emptily, Endri only shook his head, still not opening his eyes. "Nothing's wrong, Kyle. Nothing but me."
"What do you mean?"
The ghost just sighed and shook his head again.
"You don't sound like yourself at all."
"Well, maybe I'm not myself!" he snapped, finally twisting his head to look upon his friend's surprised face. "Am I not allowed to be depressed once in a while?! Am I not allowed to be anything but my normal, barely emotional self?!"
Kyle's eyes widened. "Wellsure you are, Endri. Everybody has the right to get emotional whenever they want. II just wanna know why you're depressed."
"Why should you care?" Endri hissed, looking away again.
"Because I'm your friend?" The human's voice was quieter, hurt leaking into his tone.
"Friend?" The ghost paused for a while. "No, Kyle. No, I—You don't need me to lay my burdens on you. It's nothing anywaynothing that can't be fixed," he mumbled.
"What do you mean—'fixed'?" Kyle asked suspiciously, one eye squinting.
"Nothing." Endri cleaned his fife carefully, running the soft cleaning cloth over its surface and down through parts of the hollow tube. Gently, he stowed it away in its carrying case and closed and latched it with care. He handed the box to Kyle. "Here. Take this. Keep it."
The human suddenly found the case shoved into his hands, and he looked at it curiously. "K–Keep it? Butthis is yours. Claire gave it to you. Don't you want it anymore?"
"I don't need it anymore."
"Wellwhy?"
The ghost was quiet for a minute. Finally, voice just barely a whisper, he said, "I just don't."
"Endri, you're not making any senseand you're worrying me."
"Don't worry about me, Kyle. Nobody needs to worry about me anymoreif they ever did in the first place."
Kyle frowned and gave his head of white hair a disbelieving shake. "Endri, what?"
"Go."
The human blinked in surprise. "But, I came to vis—"
"Go!"
"But, Endri—"
"I said get the hell out of here!" Endri stood quickly, clenching his fists at his sides and staring down at his friend with almost hateful eyes.
Kyle blinked up at him in shock. Slowly, he stood, mechanically doing what his friend wished, not really taking the time to think it over. He took a few wobbling steps away, but stopped suddenly. What was he doing? Leaving when he knew something was wrong with his friend and not trying to help him with it? Some best friend he was turning out to be!
Turning back, the human uttered one word, firmly. "No."
Endri's head whipped in his direction, eyes glaring daggers. "What?"
"I said, I'm staying! I'm staying until you tell me what's wrong with you!" Kyle shouted, concern turning to anger quickly.
Growling, the ghost took two stomps forward until he was standing only a foot away from his friend. He locked glittering, green eyes with the human. "You want to know what's wrong with me?!" he hissed, suddenly radiating anger and frustration. "I'll fucking tell you what's wrong with me! My whole existence is what's wrong! My whole, meaningless, pitiful excuse for an existence is what's wrong! I can barely count the times on my right hand for when I've gotten a break from anything! Always, one fucking thing after another! And no one cares! No one gives one flying fuck about me!" His voice cracked, and he paused a moment to catch his breath, his shoulders trembling just slightly.
"I'm sick of it. I'm sick of existing day after day and getting nowhere. I'm sick of trudging on day after day feeling like there is nothing for me here or anywhere else. It's the same old shit every single day, and I'm tired of it!" His voice cracked again, the trembling travelling to his arms and hands now as well.
Kyle stood with his mouth gaping, staring at his best friend as if he had just grown another head and a few indecently–placed tentacles. "Endriyou don't mean that."
"Oh, don't I?! Read my lips, Kyle! I'm—getting—out!"
The human shook his head in disbelief. "Butyou're already dead."
Hysterical laughter burst forth from Endri's throat, and he reached up to hold one hand to his forehead as he laughed before running the fingers back through his long, blonde hair. "What, you think that since I'm dead, I can't die again? You think there's no way for a ghost to die—to cease to exist? Well, you're wrong, Kyle. I've found a way. And I am going to use it."
"Wha—?! Endri, how—?"
"Think about it. When my mother showed herself a few years ago and divvied her energy between me and my father, she ceased to exist because all of her power had been used up. Soif I expend my energyall of itevery last dropI will cease to exist as well. I'll finally be free! I'll finally not have to put up with this dreary existence any longer!"
"You selfish bastard!" Kyle snapped. "Don't you care about the rest of us?! What about your dad? What about Lydia? What about me?!"
Endri's once laughing expression quickly plummeted to anger once more. "Selfish?! I will tell you right now, I have never been selfish ever! Always, I have put others before myself in everything! Well, you know what? I don't care! I don't care about anyone anymore! I'm finally being selfish for once in my entire existence, and it feels fucking great!" He grinned again, breathing heavily, clenching his fists at his sides. His mouth expressed happiness, but the rest of his body betrayed his anger and frustration.
"I don't believe you. You have to care about someone! What about Claire?" Kyle argued.
"Claire?" Endri chuckled. "Claire?!" He suddenly burst into more hysterical laughter, holding a hand over his stomach and leaning back, letting his hysteria carry off into the night. "Claire?! That—that bitch could care less about me, just as I could care less about her!"
The human's mouth dropped open. "How can you say that? You've been dating for almost five years now!"
"Not anymore. She left me about a week ago." Suddenly, the ghost became calm again, tilting his head a bit to the side in question. "Do you know what she told me?"
Kyle could only shake his head dumbly.
"I asked her why—why she would want to leave me. She told me because 'I wasn't what she needed.' Well, what the hell does that mean?!" he growled. "I'm not what she needed?! What did she need then?! I asked her that too. Do you know what she said?"
Again, the human shook his head 'no'.
"She said she didn't know! Well, why the hell leave me if she didn't even know what she needed?! Apparently, it wasn't me, I'll tell you that!" His voice reached an unnatural high, and it almost cracked again at that point. "But I still wanted to know. I needed to know if I'd done anything wrong, said anything wrong. She said no, it wasn't me at all. I asked her if it was because we started having sex. We had sex, did I ever tell you, Kyle? She was my very first, did you know that?"
Kyle again shook his head.
"Oh" He held his hands against his chest and fisted his white shirt. "And it was amazing! I'd never felt anything so wonderful, ever. When I was with her, I felt happy. One tiny shred of happiness. She was beautifulher body was perfectshe was so warm." He paused for a short time, allowing his face to harden again. "She said, no, of course not. Having sex wasn't the reason she was leaving me. I asked her about it again. I asked if she was sure because only after we started having sex did she begin to drift away from me. She denied it again. I pressed it. I was sure it was at least part of the reason. I asked if I had performed badly, if I hurt her, if I made her feel uncomfortable. She hesitated then. I yelled for her to tell me, demanded it! And then she finally shouted back. Do you know what she told me?"
Swallowing, Kyle kept his wide, blue eyes trained to the ghost's visage and shook his head 'no' once more.
"She told mesh–she told me" Endri's body began to shake, and he took a wavering breath to steady himself. "She told me she couldn't stand having something cold and hard shoved into her!" he shouted, voice cracking. Stumbling over to close the space between them, he grabbed Kyle's lapels, staring wildly into his eyes. "I'm not that cold, am I? I'll admit, I'm not the warmest thing in the world, but I'm not that cold, right?!"
"Of course not, Endri," the human admitted freely. "You have warmth to you. I can feel it from here."
"Then why? Why?! Am I not attractive either? Am I some nasty rotting corpse that would repulse you?!"
"No, not at all!"
"Do you think I'm attractive? Am I even worthy of you to look at?" Endri asked desperately, voice wavering.
"EndriI—"
"Tell me the truth!" he shouted, giving Kyle a light shake.
The human stuttered for a moment before pulling some semblance of a sentence together. "WellI meanyes, Endri, you're attractive. I mean, look at you. Your hair is long and such a nice, light blonde. Blondes areare really attractive, ya know?"
"Wh–What else? Is there anything else attractive about me?" The ghost looked almost desperate to have his friend give him an approving compliment, so Kyle continued on, hoping to calm Endri with a few kind words.
"Well–umyyyour eyes. Your eyes are a really pretty green, and they sparkle. Damn, man, I–I'd love to have eyes like that! And–umyour ears arec–cute." He felt a little awkward complimenting his friend like that, but continued on anyway. Endri seemed to need it terribly, no matter who it came from. "Andshit, your body"
"It's—?" The ghost leaned in closer, his eyes widening with childlike hope.
"It's" Kyle faded out, mumbling something under his breath that even Endri, with his highly sensitive ears, could not hear.
"What?"
Kyle swallowed. "H–Hotit's hot. I mean, damn! You're built like a fuckin' tank, Endri. Anybody'd kill to get with someone like you."
"Would you?"
The question came out of the blue and blindsided the human. His eyes widened exponentially, and he could only stare for a moment at the pleading, green eyes of his best friend. "M–Me?" He pointed to himself and swallowed. "Uh–uh w–well, I–uh" He swallowed again. "Y–You're a great friend and all, Endri"
Endri's eyes fell in despair, his hands slipping from Kyle's shirt to fall limp at his sides.
Kyle sighed and reprimanded himself. He's just looking for reassurance, that's all. Just tell him yes, and maybe he'll be happy. "EEndri, I" He swallowed. "S–Sure, I'd kill for ya." Shrugging, he feigned nonchalance, trying to make himself think that it was a common occurrence to tell his best male friend that he'd kill to sleep with him.
Endri's eyes brightened again, and he smiled. "You would?" Looking off to the side, the light smile fell from his face as quick as it had come. "Then it was just her, thenright?"
"Absolutely!"
"She lied to me then! The sex bothered her because I was cold to herbecause I'm a ghost." The ghost turned and stumbled away, losing but regaining his footing as he made his way across the roof to sit down heavily upon it, facing away from his friend. He crossed his legs and leaned forward a bit, rocking ever so slightly. After a brief moment of silence, he suddenly cried out, "It's not my fault!" His voice cracked, and he crossed his arms over his chest and rocked more pronounced. "It's not my fault I'm dead! I was killed! I was murdered!!"
Kyle rushed over as best he could without loosing his footing on the corrugated roof. He plopped down beside Endri and threw his arms around the ghost's shoulders for comfort. "Shhh! Shhh!"
"No! Always, I've been a thing of fear and disgust because I'm a ghost!" he shouted, still rocking in the circle of his friend's arms. "Pushed away, segregated, screamed at, run from! It's not my fault! No one will give me a chance! No one cares! No one ever cared!"
"You're wrong, Endri," Kyle argued, something telling him that Endri must not be allowed to think that way. "Your dad, Beetle, cares about you. Lydia cares about you. And I sure as hell know I care about you!"
"Kyle" The ghost's voice was weak, and he blinked dazedly at his friend.
The human nodded. "Yes."
Grimacing slightly, Endri dropped his gaze to his lap. "Kyle, youyou're my best friend. We've known each other for so long, it amazes me. Wh–Why you haven't left me like all the rest is lost on me."
"I would never leave you, Endri," Kyle assured. "You're my best friend. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, ya know? Youit's because of you that I'm here today. You saved my life so many times, I lost count. Andand remember way back when we were partners on Earth, still looking for those keys?"
Endri nodded.
"Whether you realize it or not, you were always there for me. Especially when we first met. I was a real mess, remember? But, you were there for me in all your subtle ways—I could tell, even then. When I'd start to get paranoid or start to feel really depressed, you would stand that much closer to me, sit that much closer to me, say just the right thing to put me back on track. You supported me at every turn, and I'm so grateful for you."
Quietly, the ghost mumbled, "I'm glad I could help."
Kyle smiled. "It's my turn now, ya know? Now it's not me that needs the help, it's you. Endri, you don't need to throw everything away just because some bitch dumped you."
Endri shook his head jerkily. "NoI wasn't good enough. I'm not good enough. I was never good enough! I will never be good enough!! Not for her, not for you, not for anyone!!"
The human grabbed his friend's shoulders and shook firmly, making sure to get his attention. "Stop talking shit! You certainly are good enough! That's not even in question here! You just have to forget about her, Endri. She's a waste of time now. If you don't push her away and move on, you'll never be happy."
"H–Happy?" Endri asked, voice barely a whisper.
"Yes, happy."
Staring over Kyle's shoulder at the stars, Endri whispered his thoughts, his voice instilled with insurmountable despair. "Happiness has alwaysalways been denied me. It's such a rare, fleeting feeling for me."
"Stop joking. You have to be happy about something. You had to've been happy at some point." Keep him talking; just keep him talking. Make him remember the good things. He can't be allowed to think there's nothing for him. I won't let him.
The ghost nodded slowly, still staring at the stars over his friend's shoulder. "Yes, II have felt happiness before. Only on occasion," he mumbled, seeming as though it was an incredible strain to gather his thoughts into a coherent statement. "There's only one real time that I remember being truly happy for more than a few minutesfor more than a few days even. There was one point in my long, weary existence when I was truly happy. When I looked forward to another day. When my existence began to have a little meaning."
"Tell me, Endriwhen was that?" Kyle asked quietly. Yes, this is good. Just stay calm, pal.
Endri sighed, finally looking over into Kyle's blue eyes. "When you and I were partners."
A look of surprise drifted over the human's features, and he leaned back just a fraction.
"I treasured the time we spent together," the ghost went on, blindly speaking his mind for probably the first time. "Travelling, searching, staying together constantly, eating that fast food you love so much, occasionally having a nice dinner, the conversations we had, just our plain companionship—I loved it all! I never wanted any of that compromised, so I never told you I was a ghost. You already know about that, though."
Kyle nodded faintly.
"Those yearsthat was the only time I can truly say I was happy. I was happy because I had someone. And youyou depended on me almost," Endri said, tilting his head to the side the way he always did. He was almost amazed by the words he himself uttered. "I cherished that feeling—that feeling of someone needing me. At times II almost felt that I" He broke off, shaking his head. "But now, everything's changed. We do none of those things anymore. II hardly see you anymore. You rarely visit, and II somehow don't feel welcome in your home to visit you. I'm sorry, I can't explain it. I get thisnegative feeling from Pepper, like she doesn't really want me there, so I stopped after a while."
"I wondered why you never came over anymore."
"I'm sorry." He paused, mulling over some odd thing or another in his mind.
Kyle wished desperately that he could know what the ghost was thinking. It seemed like he had a hard time gathering his thoughts.
"It's just not the same anymore. You have things you need to do, and II have nothing to do. I'm just wasting away."
"Endri, if you want to see me, I'm more than happy to visit you. I will make time to see you," the human argued. He hadn't realized his absence was affecting his friend so much.
"No. No, I won't put you out because I want to see you. You'reyou're too busy for me." The ghost dropped his eyes to stare at Kyle's shoulder where his neck met his green T–shirt.
"That's not true. I'd drop everything to see you."
"Pepper would have none of that."
"I don't care what Pepper says or thinks about you. You're my best friend, and I'd do anything for you!"
"You would?" Endri asked, lifting his eyes once more to his friend's.
"Yes, absolutely! I wanna be here for you, 'Dri," Kyle said lowly, softly using his friend's nickname to calm him even more so.
The ghost's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "YouI haven't heard that in so long."
"You like it when I call you that?" the human half–whispered, making sure to keep his voice soft and calm.
"Itit makes me feell–like you really care—care enough to call me something so familiar."
Kyle smiled. "Of course I care. You're my best friend." He squeezed his best friend tighter, cupping his blonde head and tucking it into the crook of his neck. "Don't be upset, 'Dri. I'm here for you. From now on, I'll be right here for you, I prom—"
"No, stop it! I can't take this!" Endri shouted, squirming from Kyle's restraining hug and standing. He wobbled over to the neon BJ's sign, saying along the way, "You're just trying to distract me from what I want to do! Saying everything I want to hear and making me remember the few things that were good about my afterlife. But that's all they are now! Memories! I'm sick of dwelling in the past! I'm sick of dwelling in the present! And I sure as hell don't want to stick around for the future!" He paused long enough to turn around and settle his eyes upon his friend. Tears slid down his pale cheeks, and his lower lip quivered.
"Kyletell Fathertell himI love him. And know that you're my best friend, and II–I will always care so much for you too!" he finished quickly. He turned and made to take off into the air.
Kyle charged forward, using his unsteady footing as an excuse to push his body faster. He gripped his hands onto Endri's shoulders and used his momentum to all his ability, slamming the ghost against the BJ's sign and sending sparks flying from loose wires and some exposed light fixtures. "Don't you dare fuckin' leave!" he hissed, leaning all his weight against his friend to keep him pinned.
"Let go of me!" Endri struggled but didn't use his full strength. He was still sane enough to know not to hurt his best friend. "Let go, Kyle!"
"No! Not until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you!"
"Let go, or I'llI'll push you!" he growled, bracing his hands on the man's shoulders.
"Go ahead," Kyle challenged. "If you push me, I'll go flying off the Roadhouseand I'm sure, with your strength, I won't land on that little outcrop below. I'll keep on goingstraight down to Sandworm Land. I wonder if I'd survive the fall?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, sounding genuinely curious. "If I did, I'd never be able to walk again. I'd probably end up a vegetable in a hospital bed, though. But if you really want me to let go so badby all meanspush me." His blue eyes stared intensely into Endri's green ones, not backing down in the slightest.
The ghost growled, baring his teeth and put pressure on Kyle's shoulders. But his hands shook violently, torn between the need to be free and the need to not hurt his friend.
The human's eyes narrowed, knowing he had him. "Do it," he hissed. "I won't let go any other way. Not unless you tell me what's wrong. Something had to have happened to tip you off like this, 'Dri. I wanna know what it is. And I'm not leaving until I find out. Show me, Endri! Show me what's inside that hurt you so bad that you'd want to wipe yourself out!" Between his shouts, Kyle shoved the ghost's body back against the sign, making more sparks fly from the jostled wires.
"No! No, you don't want to see what's inside me! I don't want to see it!" Endri shrieked, looking very panicked at the request. "My afterlife has been one big smack in the face! I never had a chance, not once! Only with you did I have some semblance of a slightly normal lifestyle. That was it! You're the only one who's stuck by me for so long—"
"So let me continue to stick by you, dammit! You've done so much for me, now let me repay you! Let me be here for you! You know just about everything about me, and I hardly know anything about you still! Let me in! Let me in, dammit! Tell me what happened to you! Fuckin' let me see what's wrong! Let me help you! Let—me—in!" Kyle shouted in his friend's face, slamming his body against the sign with each word.
Endri's entire body shook, and he brokenly leaned into his friend, dropping his head against the human's shoulder and sagging, unable to support his body any longer. Kyle slid down to the Roadhouse roof with him, sitting them both to their knees and holding the ghost's chest against his.
A bitten off sob spilled through Endri's lips before he could catch the entire thing, but once it escaped, more tumbled forward as if the floodgates had been opened. The last of the ghost's strength seeped from his muscles, and he sagged fully against his friend, fisting his hands into the front of the man's green shirt. His shoulders lurched with each sob, and the tears blinded his vision to where he could only squeeze his eyes shut and let them come.
Kyle soothed him quietly, holding him close. There was no way he would let go now, no matter how strange it felt to hold his crying, ghostly friend. But, he had done it before about five years ago when the ghost had his first fight with Claire. He had been upset, and it had taken a little persuading to get him to release his pain in the form of tears. But even then, he wasn't so broken as he was now. For some reason, the ghost seemed to have reached the end of his ropeand it was so very painful to continue holding on.
Kyle slipped forward, feeling the awkwardness fading in light of the need to help his friend. He slid his knee between Endri's legs, forcing them apart just slightly so he could get closer and sit more comfortably. The ghost only continued to cling to him like he was some sort of lifeline, not seeming to care how close they were, actually pulling on Kyle's shirt to get closer. His body shook weakly with each wrenching cry, and the human sunk his fingers into Endri's blonde hair and massaged at the back of his neck with one hand and kept a firm grip on his back with the other.
"Shhhh" he cooed softly, gently cupping the back of his head and lightly nuzzling against his pointed ear. His heart was practically breaking for his friend, the ghost's sorrowful sobs making his throat tighten. "I'm here. I'm here for you always. I'll never push you away. I'll never run from you. I'll always be your best friend Oh, shhhh"
Endri only continued to sob, clinging tightly to his friend. Slow minutes passed that way, and Kyle could think of nowhere he would rather be than right there. At that moment, he was so very grateful for deciding to stop over that night. His friend needed him, and he would be there for him no matter what, just like he promised. The ghost meant so much to him. Kyle would be lost without him.
Frowning, the human opened his eyes that had closed when he began massaging Endri's back and looked past his shoulder at the ever–lit BJ's sign behind him. Something wasn't quite right aboutsomething. Something was different, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't the sign itself—that was just something for Kyle to train his eyes on to allow thought easy passage through his mind. No, something else was amiss.
The shuddering body in his arms shifted, and Endri leaned back to look up into the human's face.
Kyle repressed a strangled gasp. Endri hadchanged!
The once large, muscle–bound, blonde man had regressed into a skinny, frail–looking boy! His blonde hair was short but shaggy, laying in almost greasy layers about his small head. His once abundant muscles were completely gone, leaving in their place practically nothing but pale skin and fragile bones. Tears stained his little cheeks, and he sniffled weakly. To all appearances, Endri was now only about eight or nine years old!
The boy pulled his hands before his gaze, also surprised at his sudden change. He looked them over front and back; touched his chest, face, and hair, even his little pointed ears. Then something seemed to click inside him, and he reached his hands back to Kyle's shirt, gripping weakly. He sniffled for a moment, simply staring at his surprised friend, as if the look itself could answer all the human's questions.
"This is how old I was when I found out I was a ghost," Endri finally spoke. His voice was high–pitched, not having reached puberty yet.
Kyle's jaw worked with no sound for a moment as he stared at his friend. His blue eyes scanned rapidly over the boy's body, taking in how small he was compared to his grown size. Even to the human's own size, he would only come up to his waistline if they were standing.
He heard and felt the spatter of something dripping onto his jeans and looked down. "You're bleeding!" Kyle gasped, tenderly running his fingertips along young Endri's forearm where a deep cut resided, oozing dark red blood.
The boy looked at it as well, surprised at first, then felt the same click as before. "That's how I found out I was a ghost," his high voice said matter–of–factly, gazing back into his friend's eyes. "I saw a man get killed in the village. His blood was bright and came out quick, and I put it in my head. Then I saw a killed bear in the woods. I cut it open to see if it bleeded the same way. It bleeded slow, and the blood was thick and dark red, and I put that in my head too."
Kyle blinked in astonishment. It seemed that Endri had not only regressed to look like a little boy, but his mind and knowledge had as wellat least partly. He literally spoke like he hadn't learned proper English and grammar yet.
"Then I started to see a bunch a differences from me and the other people in the village," young Endri went on. "Mama and Papa wouldn't tell me why I was different. They just said I was special, and I was gived to 'em as a gift 'cause they wasn't able to have babies. But I needed to know more.
"Some boys I played with talked about bein' alive once. They said when you was alive, your heart beat inside you, and you could feel it all over. ButI couldn't feel it all over. It made me think. I pulled outa my head Mama and Papa telling me that my real papa killed lots a people in his village, even my real mama. So I started to think even more.
"So one night, I took my Papa's knife and ran into the woods to my secret place. I sat there and took the knife and did my arm." The boy made a slicing motion across his forearm, right over the cut already marring his pale skin. "I watched the blood to see what it would do. It didn't come out quick and bright like the man in the village. It came out slow and dark like the bear in the woods.
"I put things all together in my head, then. I figured my real papa killed me too. So I got mad at him. I wished he was still alive so I could kill him again! He killed my mama! He killed me! I wanted revenge for us! So the next night, I took my stuff I had and left my village forever. I–I never saw Mama or Papa again."
The little ghost leaned forward and cried anew. He switched positions, spinning his small legs forward and scooting up to sit fully in Kyle's lap, one leg to each side and bent back at the knee. He cuddled as close as he could against the human and rested his weeping eyes to the man's shoulder, fisting his shirt tighter and trembling as though cold. Blindly, Kyle reached up and comforted him, able to wrap his arms fully around the small body in his lap. He spaced out for just a moment, and that moment was long enough for Endri's body to change yet again, his crying voice growing slightly deeper.
He backed away again, older than before, but still not his right age. His hair was longer, but reached only his chin, the bangs dangling limply in his tear–streaked face. His body was still very thin but was more lean than scrawny that time, still with no muscles, and the nasty gash in his arm was gone. His face was boyishly handsome, looking about seventeen or eighteen.
The ghost looked at his hands again and ran them over his hair and face. Realization struck home once more, and he gazed up to lock eyes with Kyle. "This is how old I was when I first fell in love." He held the human's shirt shakily, his entire body trembling in the man's lap. "She was beautiful. She was everything. Kyla" he whispered. "Her name was like soft bells on the windher voice was a sweet melody sung by the most revered choir on Earth. Her body was perfect—hair like the deepest red sunset, face of an angel, eyes like the sea after a storm. I loved her. I loved her with all my being and more." He paused for a second. "But when she told me she loved me as wellit feltwrong. I knew she shouldn't love me like that. She loved only what she thought I was. She didn't know what I really was. And I so wanted her to love me for who I was. I thought for sure she'd understand. If she already loved me as much as she said, then she should understand and accept me. Butbut I was wrong." The teenaged ghost's voice cracked weakly, and he dropped his gaze to Kyle's chest, sadness permeating his being even more so.
"Back then, no one could understand things like me. Andsh–she was no exception. She screameds–screamed right in my face. It scared me, and I backed away. Th–That's when she ran. She ran so fastaway from me. K–KylaKyla, my beautiful angel, why did you have to leave me like that?" he moaned, sobbing once more and leaning forward to rest his head to Kyle's shoulder. "Why?"
Endri cried again, his voice reaching new heights of sorrow and clutching to his friend tighter than ever before. Kyle soothed him has best he could, realizing that what the ghost was going through was some strange way of him opening up and telling the human about his past, helping him understand all that had happened to bring him to tonight. And, from what Kyle could tell, Endri was not controlling himself at all, seeing as he looked surprised each time he changed before he realized how old he had become and where he was in his afterlife.
Again, Endri pulled back from his friend. His body was now beginning to show some bulk, but no clear definition was evident. His hair fell down to just graze the tops of his shoulders, the bangs in front more pronounced. Now, he looked about twenty, maybe even twenty–one.
He gazed at his hands, then brought them to his chest. "This is me when I studied with my sensei in Japan." The ghost's voice was even deeper, almost—but not quite—back to normal. "I lived there for over 100 years, but the time spent learning from my sensei was the best. I was actually happy then, like I was happy when I spent time with you. I loved that land, their culture, their simple way of living. Even the language was beautiful.
"I was an odd stranger in the land, but Master Kashikoi didn't care. He took me in and took it upon himself to school me in his language and culture. He also schooled me in the matter of self defense—of Martial Arts. He said I was a natural. I picked up on things quickly, getting the moves down only after one or two times being shown, and I would improvise upon them. Soon, I was able to defeat my master even.
"But he taught me a valuable lesson. I can never rely solely on my moves. I must use my other 'special talents' to aid me as well. At the time, I never knew what he meant, but years later, I realized that he was no old fool. He knew I was a ghost, but he took me in anywayfed me, clothed me, taught me all he knew, and was like another father to me. I cherished my time with Sensei, knowing he was already very old. He was the first of only two people on Earth to ever accept me for who I really was.
"One night, I was practicing my katas later than usual. When I was finished, I took a small break and sat down at my master's desk. On there was a very old scroll, just sitting alone in the middle. I picked it up and read over it, becoming more excited as I went along. After years of trying to find a way to achieve revenge on my father for murdering me, I had found my answer! That scroll described the worm gates and keys, the Neitherworld and how it worked, and even had maps of its lands, showing where each was and where each gate was located in them. I stowed the scroll away in my gi and left a note for Master Kashikoi, apologizing deeply for my abrupt disappearance. I told him how I cared for him and thanked him profusely for his kindness and the knowledge he generously bestowed upon me. Then, I left, not knowing I'd never return to that place again.
"Only after I stood back years later and took an analyzing look at how that particular scroll came to be sitting alone on his desk when I was the only one therehe was a sly old man." The ghost smirked. "He knew of my desire for revenge on a man who could no longer be touched, who could no longer be hurt, even if I could get my hands on him. He must have known a lot more than I realized." Endri's eyes dropped to Kyle's chest, staring blankly. "I found outthat very same night I lefthe died. That scroll was his parting gift to me. He never even read my note. He was already gone. I searched all over the Neitherworld after I arrived here, but I've never found him. I've never been able to tell him all that was in my letterhow much he meant to a lost soul such as me. I miss him greatly."
Endri bowed his blonde head, but did not cry. His hands drifted to Kyle's forearms and gripped him there firmly. The human twisted his hands to hold the ghost's arms also, giving him reassurance that he was still there and wasn't leaving. Endri's body bulked up before Kyle's eyes. Muscles tightened and compacted under taut skin, hair lengthened to almost normal, leaving the ghost looking about twenty–four.
He seemed to already know where he was, looking directly up into the human's eyes and staring. "This is me when I met you, Kyle," he said quietly. "And after I met you and got to really know youthings changed for me. With you, I wanted everything to be perfect. I would take my time with youshow you the kind of person I really was: gentle, not harsh all the time; kind, not hateful; eveneven a little caringif not loving." Endri looked as though he was about to blush, and he gently tossed his head to the side, looking down at the roof, averting his eyes almost shyly. He seemed to only then realize that he sat intimately upon his friend's lap. An embarrassed blush spread over his cheeks, but he just chose to not call attention to the situation, choosing instead to go on recounting his past. That was more important anyway.
"I had shielded away so many of my emotions, I thought I could never feel some of them again. But youyou brought them all out of me without me even realizing it." He brought his eyes back to Kyle's face and looked upon him intensely. "You showed me how to feel again. You showed me how to care for another person again, even though I never wanted to. You wormed your way into my heart, you bastard, and I still haven't forgiven you for it!"
Kyle swallowed nervously and slid his arms around the ghost's back, making sure that if he tried to jump up, it wouldn't be without a fight.
He never knew he meant so much to Endri.
"Forfor a time, II hated you for it," the ghost continued, baring his teeth in a snarl. "I was so angry because you made me feel when I swore to myself I never would again. Feeling causes only pain! Caring for another causes only suffering! I didn't want it again! But then you'd look at meand smileand point out something on your computer or put your arm around me and say, 'Hey, 'Driwhy don't we go out and treat ourselves to a nice dinner. We've been working hard lately, and you look like you could use a break.' And I would smile—smile!" His voice was airy and disbelieving even of his own previous actions. "Then I would nod and follow you to whatever restaurant you wanted. Only you could get me to smile like that. Only you could get me to submit to your every whim. Damn you, Kyle! You" His entire body trembled violently, and Kyle tightened his grip.
Reaching up, Endri touched madly shaking fingers to the human's cheek, tilting his head a fraction to the side in that way of his, almost curiously. Kyle held still, afraid to move away and afraid to speak. Even if he did try to say something, he had no idea what it would be.
"And you're still the only one who can make me smile like that," Endri whispered. "You're still the only one to get me to submit to your every whim. And I still hate you for it!" he shouted, voice reaching another high peak and cracking, releasing the tears to spill down and trace the dried paths of the previous ones. "But II don't blame you. You didn't know you were doing ityou were innocent. It's my fault. You were just yourselfit was I who endeared you to me. You di–didn't know. Shhhit's all right."
Shaking fingers caressed Kyle's cheek as Endri tried to calm him when the human needed no calming at all. It was the ghost who needed calmingand needed it desperately. Whatever was wrong with him, it was messing with his emotions and actions, making him do and say things he never would have considered before. He was almost behaving like a madman—ranting and raving one second, and soft and demure the next.
"Tell me something, Kyle," he went on, his speech trembling from his lips. "H–Have I shown you the kind of person I really am? Have I shown you that I'm more gentle than harshmore kind than hatefuleven a little caring? H–Have I shown you that I'm more than what I appear to be?"
Kyle stared for a moment, forcing himself to calm his disbelief and be the sturdy rope that Endri needed to hold onto. But what the ghost had saidit shocked him. To think that he had such a strong pull over Endriit wasastonishing! But that whole time, the ghost only wanted to have just one close friend out of all the hundreds of years where he could find none at all—just one person that was different from the rest. And that person Endri chose to be close to, to share everything with, to offer all he had, was Kyle.
Wow, what a good feeling it was to know that! To know that out of millions of Humans the ghost had met over the centuries, he was the only one that meant a hill of beans felt so damn good!
The whole time, the ghost's shaking hand never left Kyle's cheek, and it felt oddly nice to have it there, like it was some bit of reassurance, though for what, the human didn't know.
"Yes, 'Driyou have," Kyle almost whispered, making sure his voice was steady and strong.
Endri exhaled gratefully and lowered his head with relief, letting his hand fall to his friend's arm again. His body shifted slightly, but not much. It was barely noticeable. The ghost looked back up, the tears still on his cheeks.
"And so here we are. Now you know more about me, Kyle. I've opened up for you. I've let you into a place no one has ever come close to. You know some of my secrets. You know what hell my afterlife has been, but even from what you've seen, from what I've revealed to you tonight, that isn't even scratching the surface," he grumbled, obvious distaste for himself in every word he spat.
"One thing after another denied to me. Happiness dangled before my grasp then tugged away before my hands could take hold. And I have done so much for everyone else after I changed for the better. I've bent over backwards to make sure others wouldn't feel awkward in my presence. I've sacrificed so much of myself for everyone else that I have nothing left for me anymore. I'm spread too thin. I have nothing left. So it's time I stop. Stop this pointless façade. I'm tired of pretending I'm happy. I'm tired of stowing my feelings from the light of day. I'm tired of existing!"
Endri ripped himself away from Kyle, standing shakily and backpedaling a few steps, almost bumping back into the BJ's sign. The human jumped up right after him, ignoring all the pricking tingles in his sleeping legs and grabbing the ghost's shirt tightly.
"Don't you dare! You just sat here and practically told me you love me, and now your gonna pop off and ace yourself?!" he shouted, pulling everything into one sentence and throwing it at his friend.
"No! No, I don't dare think it could be that! Everyone I've ever loved has destroyed me!" Endri shrieked, cracking his voice harshly. Any more abuse, and his speech might never be the same. "I can't love you too! You're too important to me! If I let myself love you, you'll destroy me too! Then there would be absolutely nothing of me left! I can't love you! I can't love anyone!" He drifted off for a long moment, breathing heavily, staring into Kyle's immovable blue eyes.
"Maybe at one point, I would have admitted itI would have gone through some kind of pact with you to make you mymy blood brother."
Kyle's mouth hung open in surprise.
"I hate to disappoint you, but that's as far as my love went for you," the ghost went on, shaking his head. "And that time has passed anyway. Now it's impossible. You have too much else in your life to include me in the mix."
"Don't be ridiculous! I've always had a place for you in my life!" Kyle hissed, giving his friend a firm shake.
"Maybe so, but things can't be stopped now. It's too latetoo late for everything!"
Endri tried to take a step back and pull away, but the human only gripped his shirt tighter. "Don't you dare try to fuckin' leave! I won't let you do this, Endri! This isn't you! You would never take your own life!"
The ghost laughed bitterly, giving his friend an empty smirk. "Too latesomeone has already taken it away from me. Stolen from me twice now."
Kyle winced. "Youyou know what I mean. Please, 'Dri, don't leave. Promise me. You said I can get you to do anything, well I want you to stay right here and work this out with me."
Endri only shook his head sadly, dropping his eyes. "I'm sorry, Kyle. Not this time. It won't work anymore. I've already thought about this for a long time. Ever since I saw my mother vanish into oblivion, I've been wishing I could join herjoin her in that nothingnessthat bliss of not being." He trailed off, staring blindly, but snapped back a second later. "Now, I'm finally ready. Get out of my way." He pushed Kyle back as gently as possible, but firmly as well.
The human tried desperately to cling to the ghost's shirt, but Endri snapped it out of his grasp and lifted into the air before Kyle could reach back and grab him.
"No! Endri, please, no! You can't do this!"
Looking down on his friend's panicked expression from above, the ghost sadly shook his head again. "I'm sorry, Kyle. I wishI wish things could have been differentI really do. But it's impossible now. Things are already set in their paths. We can't go back and change them." He paused, watching Kyle pant desperately, staring up at him. A pang of emotional pain zipped through his heart, and Endri grimaced against it, feeling the tears sting his eyes again.
"Take care of yourselfPartner." He turned and sent his body through the atmosphere, sailing away toward the dark horizon.
"No, dammit! No!" Kyle shrieked, running forward. He slipped on the corrugated roofing and slid down over the side, a startled shout erupting from his throat.
When he thought he'd be in for a broken leg for sure, Endri was there, catching him up in his arms and floating gently down to the ground. They stood there, in front of the Roadhouse, for a moment, arms locked around each other's shoulders, Kyle still feeling that rush of panic.
"Are you all right?" Endri whispered.
The human chuckled shakily, keeping his hands fisted into the ghost's shirt in the back. "See? I–I can't take care of myself, 'Dri. I need you here to watch out for my clumsy ass."
Endri smiled and pulled away enough to see into Kyle's blue eyes. "Kyle" he whispered, "II'll never—" his voice caught in his throat, and the tears just poured out. He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to Kyle's forehead. "G–Goodbye, Kyle. Think of me." he whispered. Without another word or warning, Endri twisted away and blasted off the ground before Kyle could even blink, his trail of blue energy disappearing into the distance behind him.
"No" the human breathed. "No! Endri!" He ran forward as far as he could before having to stop at the very edge of the pillar of rock supporting the Roadhouse. "Endri, you bastard, come back here! How dare you do this to me?! You son of a bitch, come back! Come back!!"
The maroon door to the Roadhouse creaked open and Beetlejuice stepped out, quickly finding Kyle at the ledge with his eyes. "What the hell is all the yelling out here?!"
The human whirled around, wasting absolutely no time. "Beetle! You have to stop Endri!"
"What the hell's that boy up to now?" the ghoul asked, crossing his arms over his striped chest, much like his son.
"He's gonna commit suicide!" Kyle shrieked, running over.
Beetlejuice froze for a moment, worry leaping up to let butterflies loose in his stomach. No, that couldn't possibly be right. Endri? His son? Committing suicide? That just wasn't possible.
"What? He's already dead, how can he—"
"He's gonna drain all his energy until he doesn't exist anymore! Stop him!"
At that point, others had joined the ghoul and human outside. Lydia stood at Beetlejuice's one side, and Jacques and Ginger occupied his other. The Monster Across the Street meandered over the rickety bridge with his dog, Poopsie, in tow, brought over by the shouting.
As soon as Lydia heard Endri was trying to erase himself from existence, she gasped and tugged on her lover's arm. "Stop him, BJ!"
Beetlejuice just couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. Not his son! His son would never be reduced to such an act! "But, why would he want to—"
"That isn't important now!" Kyle shouted. "You have to find him and get him to listen to reason!"
This had to be some joke. That's right, some joke that Kyle and Endri were playing on him. Wellhe could play along for now. "Okay, okay, where did he head off to?"
The human immediately pointed off to the north.
Beetlejuice closed his eyes, reaching out with his otherworldly senses to feel for his son's energy. The boy's power spiked strangely, catching the ghoul's attention and giving away his position. Beetlejuice smirked, but couldn't keep his worry far at bay.
"Everybody, stand around me. He might need a little encouragement, and if he sees all you guys, he might realize he's being stupid."
All the friends stood close together, and with a snap of the ghoul's fingers, they all vanished in a mist of yellow.
I know it was pretty long, but everything that was in there, needed to be in there and wasn't easily separated into parts. I was really waiting for my one friend to edit this for me before I posted it, but, I'm impatient, and after literally months of being unable to get her to do it as she has no time to spare (which is okay ^_^), I decided to go ahead and post it sans editing by someone not me. :P I went through with a fine toothed comb looking for errors and wording problems and anything else, but I'm not perfect, so there's probably gonna be mistakes here and there. Just try to look over it.
Thanks for reading this far, and please spare a moment to review. I hope to see some of my old reviewers again! *hugs you guys if you came back* Until next chapter! *waves*
Please note the rating. The language in this story is a lot harsher than that of the other stories I've written, so be forewarned in case you weren't expecting something "tame" like that. This story also addresses adult subjects such as suicide, sexuality, and nonconsensual sex (ie rape) which are not intended for children under the age of, really, 18. In essence, read at your own risk. I am not responsible if you get in trouble when there have been warnings and ratings posted all over this story.
I had this whole big hooplah written about my reasoning for writing this story the way I did, concentrating on only a few characters, etc. But I realized something when I remembered what I read in a "how to write" book once. "Never give a synopsis of your story or explain your workthe work should explain itself. If It needs help, it isn't ready to be sent out." So, I am going to let my work speak for itself. So aside from the usual technical dribble that's already been stated, I will say nothing more in this intro about what to expect, or explain my reasoning for what I've written. All I will say is: I haven't been this excited over my own writing for a long time, and I hope it shows through when you read it. I've poured a lot more than I usually do into this story, and I hope that shows through as well. All in all, please enjoy, and do let me know how you liked it in a review. Thank you! ^_^
DISCLAIMER: The only one you'll see on this story, since it only needs said once at the beginning. Beetlejuice and all affiliated copyrighted characters, names, locations, and concepts are copyright Geffen Film Company. Original characters Endri, Kyle, Avo, Dr. Pepper, Faygo, Moira, Kaia, Frank, and other randomly inserted original people, and original story concept are copyright to me, Spencers13 (or Lacey G to be technical). Dr Pepper (the soft drink - with no period ".") is copyright Dr Pepper/Seven-Up Inc. Faygo (the soft drink) is copyright Faygo Beverages Inc.
Spencers13 – March 2003–March 2004
R – Drama – Angst
Chapter One – All Is Lost
Deep, melancholy tones floated over the Neitherworld landscape perfectly accenting the surrounding night. Infinite stars shone overhead, twinkling brightly. Three ratty moons hung in an arc over the sky, setting the unnatural land beneath aglow with ethereal blue. It was hauntingly beautiful, but also hauntingly oppressing.
A slow, somber tune floated across the atmosphere, dripping with sadness, longing, and sorrow. The source was a fife, it's player sitting alone upon the roof of BJ's Roadhouse. His eyes were closed, and his body swayed just slightly, lost in the dark tones of his song.
The man, young by many standards in the Neitherworld, was Endri Juice, son of Beetlejuice, the self–proclaimed "Ghost with the Most". He had been up there for almost three hours, losing himself in his song for over half an hour now. The blonde ghost enjoyed the solitude, craved it sometimes, even. And when he played his fife, he was able to express so many emotions otherwise difficult to get across to otherseven himself.
Gradually, his song, signifying his entire afterlife up until that point, came to an end. The small instrument was lowered away from his lips and rested into his lap, his fingers still poised over the keys, simply holding it there. He sighed, staring out over the landscape at the horizon in the distance, watching as the stars slowly spun in their places in space and watching as the Neitherworld spun slowly. It made everything seem as though those heavenly bodies were moving in and endless circle and not the planet.
The three moons overhead—full of holes, but still massive enough to light the land below with their pale, blue light—shone on Endri's pallid, nearly lavender skin, setting it aglow. A light breeze drifted by, disturbing his long, blonde hair and playing with the strands, tossing it about his head in a beautiful dance. The wind was warm against his skin and smelled a lot fresher than usual. The Neitherworld wasn't exactly the freshest or cleanest place in the Universe, but tonight it was reeking with it's own unnatural beauty.
All of it was lost upon the ghost, however.
Nothing could seem to penetrate the depressed air about him. He simply sat and brooded, thought and stared straight ahead. To any onlookers, he could have been mistaken for a statue—another odd piece that Beetlejuice had collected from someplace or the other.
"Kyle"
Stepping out from behind the neon BJ's sign, Kyle Bennington reached up and held onto the frame for support. "HeyI stopped by for a while, and when I couldn't find you I–I heard this music playing and thought"
"It's all right," Endri said, not looking over. He reached down to the side and patted the roofing next to him, offering Kyle a seat.
The human stepped over cautiously, wary of falling off of the slick roof. He sat down next to his friend and propped his heels into one of the corrugated dips in the roofing tile, feeling safer with that bit of support under his feet.
They sat in silence for a time, both staring off into the sky in the distance and watching everything go by. The night was clear and bright, and it brought a smile to Kyle's lips. Neitherworld nights, as long as they weren't frightening, were quite a spectacle to behold. He sighed quietly, and finally tilted his head to take a peek at Endri beside him. The ghost's visage was twisted into a perfect mask of indifference. Something had to be up.
"Endriis there something bothering you?" Kyle asked, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the peaceful mood that hung around them.
"What makes you think that?"
"I can feel it almost—sense it like you can sense stuff."
Endri smirked emptily but never looked over. He sighed and blinked slowly, lifting his eyes more skyward. "You knowsometimes I stare at the skies, and I think of all the other planetseverything else out thereand I realize just how absolutely insignificant I really am."
Kyle frowned slightly, carefully observing his friend. Something didn't sound right about his voice.
"You know that the smaller something gets, it will eventually not exist anymore. And I'm so tiny in the vast scope of the UniverseI don't really exist."
The human still couldn't shake that uneasy feeling that something wasn't right, and now he was positive. "Oh, come–on, Endri, don't be dumb."
Shaking his head, the ghost continued to stare upward. He had yet to even glance at his best friend. "You're a scientist, Kyle. You know all about that. You know it's true."
"Yeah, but you do exist. That crap is only a theory anyway. Why are you talking like this? I've never heard you say suchdepressing things."
Endri sighed and lowered his head, closing his eyes. "BecauseI'm tired. I'm so weary of waking up every single day and thinking, 'Oh, boy, another fun–filled, glorious day! What, oh, what shall I do today? How about the same exact thing I did yesterday!'" He sighed deeply, slipping his lavender tongue from his mouth to wet his lips. "No, Kyle, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trudging through my existence from one day to the next and losing my sanity bit by bit. I'm tired of it all. I just want everything to stop."
Kyle sat quietly for a moment, going back over some of what the ghost had said and picking it apart, as he usually did. "Endriwhat's wrong?"
Smirking emptily, Endri only shook his head, still not opening his eyes. "Nothing's wrong, Kyle. Nothing but me."
"What do you mean?"
The ghost just sighed and shook his head again.
"You don't sound like yourself at all."
"Well, maybe I'm not myself!" he snapped, finally twisting his head to look upon his friend's surprised face. "Am I not allowed to be depressed once in a while?! Am I not allowed to be anything but my normal, barely emotional self?!"
Kyle's eyes widened. "Wellsure you are, Endri. Everybody has the right to get emotional whenever they want. II just wanna know why you're depressed."
"Why should you care?" Endri hissed, looking away again.
"Because I'm your friend?" The human's voice was quieter, hurt leaking into his tone.
"Friend?" The ghost paused for a while. "No, Kyle. No, I—You don't need me to lay my burdens on you. It's nothing anywaynothing that can't be fixed," he mumbled.
"What do you mean—'fixed'?" Kyle asked suspiciously, one eye squinting.
"Nothing." Endri cleaned his fife carefully, running the soft cleaning cloth over its surface and down through parts of the hollow tube. Gently, he stowed it away in its carrying case and closed and latched it with care. He handed the box to Kyle. "Here. Take this. Keep it."
The human suddenly found the case shoved into his hands, and he looked at it curiously. "K–Keep it? Butthis is yours. Claire gave it to you. Don't you want it anymore?"
"I don't need it anymore."
"Wellwhy?"
The ghost was quiet for a minute. Finally, voice just barely a whisper, he said, "I just don't."
"Endri, you're not making any senseand you're worrying me."
"Don't worry about me, Kyle. Nobody needs to worry about me anymoreif they ever did in the first place."
Kyle frowned and gave his head of white hair a disbelieving shake. "Endri, what?"
"Go."
The human blinked in surprise. "But, I came to vis—"
"Go!"
"But, Endri—"
"I said get the hell out of here!" Endri stood quickly, clenching his fists at his sides and staring down at his friend with almost hateful eyes.
Kyle blinked up at him in shock. Slowly, he stood, mechanically doing what his friend wished, not really taking the time to think it over. He took a few wobbling steps away, but stopped suddenly. What was he doing? Leaving when he knew something was wrong with his friend and not trying to help him with it? Some best friend he was turning out to be!
Turning back, the human uttered one word, firmly. "No."
Endri's head whipped in his direction, eyes glaring daggers. "What?"
"I said, I'm staying! I'm staying until you tell me what's wrong with you!" Kyle shouted, concern turning to anger quickly.
Growling, the ghost took two stomps forward until he was standing only a foot away from his friend. He locked glittering, green eyes with the human. "You want to know what's wrong with me?!" he hissed, suddenly radiating anger and frustration. "I'll fucking tell you what's wrong with me! My whole existence is what's wrong! My whole, meaningless, pitiful excuse for an existence is what's wrong! I can barely count the times on my right hand for when I've gotten a break from anything! Always, one fucking thing after another! And no one cares! No one gives one flying fuck about me!" His voice cracked, and he paused a moment to catch his breath, his shoulders trembling just slightly.
"I'm sick of it. I'm sick of existing day after day and getting nowhere. I'm sick of trudging on day after day feeling like there is nothing for me here or anywhere else. It's the same old shit every single day, and I'm tired of it!" His voice cracked again, the trembling travelling to his arms and hands now as well.
Kyle stood with his mouth gaping, staring at his best friend as if he had just grown another head and a few indecently–placed tentacles. "Endriyou don't mean that."
"Oh, don't I?! Read my lips, Kyle! I'm—getting—out!"
The human shook his head in disbelief. "Butyou're already dead."
Hysterical laughter burst forth from Endri's throat, and he reached up to hold one hand to his forehead as he laughed before running the fingers back through his long, blonde hair. "What, you think that since I'm dead, I can't die again? You think there's no way for a ghost to die—to cease to exist? Well, you're wrong, Kyle. I've found a way. And I am going to use it."
"Wha—?! Endri, how—?"
"Think about it. When my mother showed herself a few years ago and divvied her energy between me and my father, she ceased to exist because all of her power had been used up. Soif I expend my energyall of itevery last dropI will cease to exist as well. I'll finally be free! I'll finally not have to put up with this dreary existence any longer!"
"You selfish bastard!" Kyle snapped. "Don't you care about the rest of us?! What about your dad? What about Lydia? What about me?!"
Endri's once laughing expression quickly plummeted to anger once more. "Selfish?! I will tell you right now, I have never been selfish ever! Always, I have put others before myself in everything! Well, you know what? I don't care! I don't care about anyone anymore! I'm finally being selfish for once in my entire existence, and it feels fucking great!" He grinned again, breathing heavily, clenching his fists at his sides. His mouth expressed happiness, but the rest of his body betrayed his anger and frustration.
"I don't believe you. You have to care about someone! What about Claire?" Kyle argued.
"Claire?" Endri chuckled. "Claire?!" He suddenly burst into more hysterical laughter, holding a hand over his stomach and leaning back, letting his hysteria carry off into the night. "Claire?! That—that bitch could care less about me, just as I could care less about her!"
The human's mouth dropped open. "How can you say that? You've been dating for almost five years now!"
"Not anymore. She left me about a week ago." Suddenly, the ghost became calm again, tilting his head a bit to the side in question. "Do you know what she told me?"
Kyle could only shake his head dumbly.
"I asked her why—why she would want to leave me. She told me because 'I wasn't what she needed.' Well, what the hell does that mean?!" he growled. "I'm not what she needed?! What did she need then?! I asked her that too. Do you know what she said?"
Again, the human shook his head 'no'.
"She said she didn't know! Well, why the hell leave me if she didn't even know what she needed?! Apparently, it wasn't me, I'll tell you that!" His voice reached an unnatural high, and it almost cracked again at that point. "But I still wanted to know. I needed to know if I'd done anything wrong, said anything wrong. She said no, it wasn't me at all. I asked her if it was because we started having sex. We had sex, did I ever tell you, Kyle? She was my very first, did you know that?"
Kyle again shook his head.
"Oh" He held his hands against his chest and fisted his white shirt. "And it was amazing! I'd never felt anything so wonderful, ever. When I was with her, I felt happy. One tiny shred of happiness. She was beautifulher body was perfectshe was so warm." He paused for a short time, allowing his face to harden again. "She said, no, of course not. Having sex wasn't the reason she was leaving me. I asked her about it again. I asked if she was sure because only after we started having sex did she begin to drift away from me. She denied it again. I pressed it. I was sure it was at least part of the reason. I asked if I had performed badly, if I hurt her, if I made her feel uncomfortable. She hesitated then. I yelled for her to tell me, demanded it! And then she finally shouted back. Do you know what she told me?"
Swallowing, Kyle kept his wide, blue eyes trained to the ghost's visage and shook his head 'no' once more.
"She told mesh–she told me" Endri's body began to shake, and he took a wavering breath to steady himself. "She told me she couldn't stand having something cold and hard shoved into her!" he shouted, voice cracking. Stumbling over to close the space between them, he grabbed Kyle's lapels, staring wildly into his eyes. "I'm not that cold, am I? I'll admit, I'm not the warmest thing in the world, but I'm not that cold, right?!"
"Of course not, Endri," the human admitted freely. "You have warmth to you. I can feel it from here."
"Then why? Why?! Am I not attractive either? Am I some nasty rotting corpse that would repulse you?!"
"No, not at all!"
"Do you think I'm attractive? Am I even worthy of you to look at?" Endri asked desperately, voice wavering.
"EndriI—"
"Tell me the truth!" he shouted, giving Kyle a light shake.
The human stuttered for a moment before pulling some semblance of a sentence together. "WellI meanyes, Endri, you're attractive. I mean, look at you. Your hair is long and such a nice, light blonde. Blondes areare really attractive, ya know?"
"Wh–What else? Is there anything else attractive about me?" The ghost looked almost desperate to have his friend give him an approving compliment, so Kyle continued on, hoping to calm Endri with a few kind words.
"Well–umyyyour eyes. Your eyes are a really pretty green, and they sparkle. Damn, man, I–I'd love to have eyes like that! And–umyour ears arec–cute." He felt a little awkward complimenting his friend like that, but continued on anyway. Endri seemed to need it terribly, no matter who it came from. "Andshit, your body"
"It's—?" The ghost leaned in closer, his eyes widening with childlike hope.
"It's" Kyle faded out, mumbling something under his breath that even Endri, with his highly sensitive ears, could not hear.
"What?"
Kyle swallowed. "H–Hotit's hot. I mean, damn! You're built like a fuckin' tank, Endri. Anybody'd kill to get with someone like you."
"Would you?"
The question came out of the blue and blindsided the human. His eyes widened exponentially, and he could only stare for a moment at the pleading, green eyes of his best friend. "M–Me?" He pointed to himself and swallowed. "Uh–uh w–well, I–uh" He swallowed again. "Y–You're a great friend and all, Endri"
Endri's eyes fell in despair, his hands slipping from Kyle's shirt to fall limp at his sides.
Kyle sighed and reprimanded himself. He's just looking for reassurance, that's all. Just tell him yes, and maybe he'll be happy. "EEndri, I" He swallowed. "S–Sure, I'd kill for ya." Shrugging, he feigned nonchalance, trying to make himself think that it was a common occurrence to tell his best male friend that he'd kill to sleep with him.
Endri's eyes brightened again, and he smiled. "You would?" Looking off to the side, the light smile fell from his face as quick as it had come. "Then it was just her, thenright?"
"Absolutely!"
"She lied to me then! The sex bothered her because I was cold to herbecause I'm a ghost." The ghost turned and stumbled away, losing but regaining his footing as he made his way across the roof to sit down heavily upon it, facing away from his friend. He crossed his legs and leaned forward a bit, rocking ever so slightly. After a brief moment of silence, he suddenly cried out, "It's not my fault!" His voice cracked, and he crossed his arms over his chest and rocked more pronounced. "It's not my fault I'm dead! I was killed! I was murdered!!"
Kyle rushed over as best he could without loosing his footing on the corrugated roof. He plopped down beside Endri and threw his arms around the ghost's shoulders for comfort. "Shhh! Shhh!"
"No! Always, I've been a thing of fear and disgust because I'm a ghost!" he shouted, still rocking in the circle of his friend's arms. "Pushed away, segregated, screamed at, run from! It's not my fault! No one will give me a chance! No one cares! No one ever cared!"
"You're wrong, Endri," Kyle argued, something telling him that Endri must not be allowed to think that way. "Your dad, Beetle, cares about you. Lydia cares about you. And I sure as hell know I care about you!"
"Kyle" The ghost's voice was weak, and he blinked dazedly at his friend.
The human nodded. "Yes."
Grimacing slightly, Endri dropped his gaze to his lap. "Kyle, youyou're my best friend. We've known each other for so long, it amazes me. Wh–Why you haven't left me like all the rest is lost on me."
"I would never leave you, Endri," Kyle assured. "You're my best friend. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, ya know? Youit's because of you that I'm here today. You saved my life so many times, I lost count. Andand remember way back when we were partners on Earth, still looking for those keys?"
Endri nodded.
"Whether you realize it or not, you were always there for me. Especially when we first met. I was a real mess, remember? But, you were there for me in all your subtle ways—I could tell, even then. When I'd start to get paranoid or start to feel really depressed, you would stand that much closer to me, sit that much closer to me, say just the right thing to put me back on track. You supported me at every turn, and I'm so grateful for you."
Quietly, the ghost mumbled, "I'm glad I could help."
Kyle smiled. "It's my turn now, ya know? Now it's not me that needs the help, it's you. Endri, you don't need to throw everything away just because some bitch dumped you."
Endri shook his head jerkily. "NoI wasn't good enough. I'm not good enough. I was never good enough! I will never be good enough!! Not for her, not for you, not for anyone!!"
The human grabbed his friend's shoulders and shook firmly, making sure to get his attention. "Stop talking shit! You certainly are good enough! That's not even in question here! You just have to forget about her, Endri. She's a waste of time now. If you don't push her away and move on, you'll never be happy."
"H–Happy?" Endri asked, voice barely a whisper.
"Yes, happy."
Staring over Kyle's shoulder at the stars, Endri whispered his thoughts, his voice instilled with insurmountable despair. "Happiness has alwaysalways been denied me. It's such a rare, fleeting feeling for me."
"Stop joking. You have to be happy about something. You had to've been happy at some point." Keep him talking; just keep him talking. Make him remember the good things. He can't be allowed to think there's nothing for him. I won't let him.
The ghost nodded slowly, still staring at the stars over his friend's shoulder. "Yes, II have felt happiness before. Only on occasion," he mumbled, seeming as though it was an incredible strain to gather his thoughts into a coherent statement. "There's only one real time that I remember being truly happy for more than a few minutesfor more than a few days even. There was one point in my long, weary existence when I was truly happy. When I looked forward to another day. When my existence began to have a little meaning."
"Tell me, Endriwhen was that?" Kyle asked quietly. Yes, this is good. Just stay calm, pal.
Endri sighed, finally looking over into Kyle's blue eyes. "When you and I were partners."
A look of surprise drifted over the human's features, and he leaned back just a fraction.
"I treasured the time we spent together," the ghost went on, blindly speaking his mind for probably the first time. "Travelling, searching, staying together constantly, eating that fast food you love so much, occasionally having a nice dinner, the conversations we had, just our plain companionship—I loved it all! I never wanted any of that compromised, so I never told you I was a ghost. You already know about that, though."
Kyle nodded faintly.
"Those yearsthat was the only time I can truly say I was happy. I was happy because I had someone. And youyou depended on me almost," Endri said, tilting his head to the side the way he always did. He was almost amazed by the words he himself uttered. "I cherished that feeling—that feeling of someone needing me. At times II almost felt that I" He broke off, shaking his head. "But now, everything's changed. We do none of those things anymore. II hardly see you anymore. You rarely visit, and II somehow don't feel welcome in your home to visit you. I'm sorry, I can't explain it. I get thisnegative feeling from Pepper, like she doesn't really want me there, so I stopped after a while."
"I wondered why you never came over anymore."
"I'm sorry." He paused, mulling over some odd thing or another in his mind.
Kyle wished desperately that he could know what the ghost was thinking. It seemed like he had a hard time gathering his thoughts.
"It's just not the same anymore. You have things you need to do, and II have nothing to do. I'm just wasting away."
"Endri, if you want to see me, I'm more than happy to visit you. I will make time to see you," the human argued. He hadn't realized his absence was affecting his friend so much.
"No. No, I won't put you out because I want to see you. You'reyou're too busy for me." The ghost dropped his eyes to stare at Kyle's shoulder where his neck met his green T–shirt.
"That's not true. I'd drop everything to see you."
"Pepper would have none of that."
"I don't care what Pepper says or thinks about you. You're my best friend, and I'd do anything for you!"
"You would?" Endri asked, lifting his eyes once more to his friend's.
"Yes, absolutely! I wanna be here for you, 'Dri," Kyle said lowly, softly using his friend's nickname to calm him even more so.
The ghost's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "YouI haven't heard that in so long."
"You like it when I call you that?" the human half–whispered, making sure to keep his voice soft and calm.
"Itit makes me feell–like you really care—care enough to call me something so familiar."
Kyle smiled. "Of course I care. You're my best friend." He squeezed his best friend tighter, cupping his blonde head and tucking it into the crook of his neck. "Don't be upset, 'Dri. I'm here for you. From now on, I'll be right here for you, I prom—"
"No, stop it! I can't take this!" Endri shouted, squirming from Kyle's restraining hug and standing. He wobbled over to the neon BJ's sign, saying along the way, "You're just trying to distract me from what I want to do! Saying everything I want to hear and making me remember the few things that were good about my afterlife. But that's all they are now! Memories! I'm sick of dwelling in the past! I'm sick of dwelling in the present! And I sure as hell don't want to stick around for the future!" He paused long enough to turn around and settle his eyes upon his friend. Tears slid down his pale cheeks, and his lower lip quivered.
"Kyletell Fathertell himI love him. And know that you're my best friend, and II–I will always care so much for you too!" he finished quickly. He turned and made to take off into the air.
Kyle charged forward, using his unsteady footing as an excuse to push his body faster. He gripped his hands onto Endri's shoulders and used his momentum to all his ability, slamming the ghost against the BJ's sign and sending sparks flying from loose wires and some exposed light fixtures. "Don't you dare fuckin' leave!" he hissed, leaning all his weight against his friend to keep him pinned.
"Let go of me!" Endri struggled but didn't use his full strength. He was still sane enough to know not to hurt his best friend. "Let go, Kyle!"
"No! Not until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you!"
"Let go, or I'llI'll push you!" he growled, bracing his hands on the man's shoulders.
"Go ahead," Kyle challenged. "If you push me, I'll go flying off the Roadhouseand I'm sure, with your strength, I won't land on that little outcrop below. I'll keep on goingstraight down to Sandworm Land. I wonder if I'd survive the fall?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, sounding genuinely curious. "If I did, I'd never be able to walk again. I'd probably end up a vegetable in a hospital bed, though. But if you really want me to let go so badby all meanspush me." His blue eyes stared intensely into Endri's green ones, not backing down in the slightest.
The ghost growled, baring his teeth and put pressure on Kyle's shoulders. But his hands shook violently, torn between the need to be free and the need to not hurt his friend.
The human's eyes narrowed, knowing he had him. "Do it," he hissed. "I won't let go any other way. Not unless you tell me what's wrong. Something had to have happened to tip you off like this, 'Dri. I wanna know what it is. And I'm not leaving until I find out. Show me, Endri! Show me what's inside that hurt you so bad that you'd want to wipe yourself out!" Between his shouts, Kyle shoved the ghost's body back against the sign, making more sparks fly from the jostled wires.
"No! No, you don't want to see what's inside me! I don't want to see it!" Endri shrieked, looking very panicked at the request. "My afterlife has been one big smack in the face! I never had a chance, not once! Only with you did I have some semblance of a slightly normal lifestyle. That was it! You're the only one who's stuck by me for so long—"
"So let me continue to stick by you, dammit! You've done so much for me, now let me repay you! Let me be here for you! You know just about everything about me, and I hardly know anything about you still! Let me in! Let me in, dammit! Tell me what happened to you! Fuckin' let me see what's wrong! Let me help you! Let—me—in!" Kyle shouted in his friend's face, slamming his body against the sign with each word.
Endri's entire body shook, and he brokenly leaned into his friend, dropping his head against the human's shoulder and sagging, unable to support his body any longer. Kyle slid down to the Roadhouse roof with him, sitting them both to their knees and holding the ghost's chest against his.
A bitten off sob spilled through Endri's lips before he could catch the entire thing, but once it escaped, more tumbled forward as if the floodgates had been opened. The last of the ghost's strength seeped from his muscles, and he sagged fully against his friend, fisting his hands into the front of the man's green shirt. His shoulders lurched with each sob, and the tears blinded his vision to where he could only squeeze his eyes shut and let them come.
Kyle soothed him quietly, holding him close. There was no way he would let go now, no matter how strange it felt to hold his crying, ghostly friend. But, he had done it before about five years ago when the ghost had his first fight with Claire. He had been upset, and it had taken a little persuading to get him to release his pain in the form of tears. But even then, he wasn't so broken as he was now. For some reason, the ghost seemed to have reached the end of his ropeand it was so very painful to continue holding on.
Kyle slipped forward, feeling the awkwardness fading in light of the need to help his friend. He slid his knee between Endri's legs, forcing them apart just slightly so he could get closer and sit more comfortably. The ghost only continued to cling to him like he was some sort of lifeline, not seeming to care how close they were, actually pulling on Kyle's shirt to get closer. His body shook weakly with each wrenching cry, and the human sunk his fingers into Endri's blonde hair and massaged at the back of his neck with one hand and kept a firm grip on his back with the other.
"Shhhh" he cooed softly, gently cupping the back of his head and lightly nuzzling against his pointed ear. His heart was practically breaking for his friend, the ghost's sorrowful sobs making his throat tighten. "I'm here. I'm here for you always. I'll never push you away. I'll never run from you. I'll always be your best friend Oh, shhhh"
Endri only continued to sob, clinging tightly to his friend. Slow minutes passed that way, and Kyle could think of nowhere he would rather be than right there. At that moment, he was so very grateful for deciding to stop over that night. His friend needed him, and he would be there for him no matter what, just like he promised. The ghost meant so much to him. Kyle would be lost without him.
Frowning, the human opened his eyes that had closed when he began massaging Endri's back and looked past his shoulder at the ever–lit BJ's sign behind him. Something wasn't quite right aboutsomething. Something was different, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't the sign itself—that was just something for Kyle to train his eyes on to allow thought easy passage through his mind. No, something else was amiss.
The shuddering body in his arms shifted, and Endri leaned back to look up into the human's face.
Kyle repressed a strangled gasp. Endri hadchanged!
The once large, muscle–bound, blonde man had regressed into a skinny, frail–looking boy! His blonde hair was short but shaggy, laying in almost greasy layers about his small head. His once abundant muscles were completely gone, leaving in their place practically nothing but pale skin and fragile bones. Tears stained his little cheeks, and he sniffled weakly. To all appearances, Endri was now only about eight or nine years old!
The boy pulled his hands before his gaze, also surprised at his sudden change. He looked them over front and back; touched his chest, face, and hair, even his little pointed ears. Then something seemed to click inside him, and he reached his hands back to Kyle's shirt, gripping weakly. He sniffled for a moment, simply staring at his surprised friend, as if the look itself could answer all the human's questions.
"This is how old I was when I found out I was a ghost," Endri finally spoke. His voice was high–pitched, not having reached puberty yet.
Kyle's jaw worked with no sound for a moment as he stared at his friend. His blue eyes scanned rapidly over the boy's body, taking in how small he was compared to his grown size. Even to the human's own size, he would only come up to his waistline if they were standing.
He heard and felt the spatter of something dripping onto his jeans and looked down. "You're bleeding!" Kyle gasped, tenderly running his fingertips along young Endri's forearm where a deep cut resided, oozing dark red blood.
The boy looked at it as well, surprised at first, then felt the same click as before. "That's how I found out I was a ghost," his high voice said matter–of–factly, gazing back into his friend's eyes. "I saw a man get killed in the village. His blood was bright and came out quick, and I put it in my head. Then I saw a killed bear in the woods. I cut it open to see if it bleeded the same way. It bleeded slow, and the blood was thick and dark red, and I put that in my head too."
Kyle blinked in astonishment. It seemed that Endri had not only regressed to look like a little boy, but his mind and knowledge had as wellat least partly. He literally spoke like he hadn't learned proper English and grammar yet.
"Then I started to see a bunch a differences from me and the other people in the village," young Endri went on. "Mama and Papa wouldn't tell me why I was different. They just said I was special, and I was gived to 'em as a gift 'cause they wasn't able to have babies. But I needed to know more.
"Some boys I played with talked about bein' alive once. They said when you was alive, your heart beat inside you, and you could feel it all over. ButI couldn't feel it all over. It made me think. I pulled outa my head Mama and Papa telling me that my real papa killed lots a people in his village, even my real mama. So I started to think even more.
"So one night, I took my Papa's knife and ran into the woods to my secret place. I sat there and took the knife and did my arm." The boy made a slicing motion across his forearm, right over the cut already marring his pale skin. "I watched the blood to see what it would do. It didn't come out quick and bright like the man in the village. It came out slow and dark like the bear in the woods.
"I put things all together in my head, then. I figured my real papa killed me too. So I got mad at him. I wished he was still alive so I could kill him again! He killed my mama! He killed me! I wanted revenge for us! So the next night, I took my stuff I had and left my village forever. I–I never saw Mama or Papa again."
The little ghost leaned forward and cried anew. He switched positions, spinning his small legs forward and scooting up to sit fully in Kyle's lap, one leg to each side and bent back at the knee. He cuddled as close as he could against the human and rested his weeping eyes to the man's shoulder, fisting his shirt tighter and trembling as though cold. Blindly, Kyle reached up and comforted him, able to wrap his arms fully around the small body in his lap. He spaced out for just a moment, and that moment was long enough for Endri's body to change yet again, his crying voice growing slightly deeper.
He backed away again, older than before, but still not his right age. His hair was longer, but reached only his chin, the bangs dangling limply in his tear–streaked face. His body was still very thin but was more lean than scrawny that time, still with no muscles, and the nasty gash in his arm was gone. His face was boyishly handsome, looking about seventeen or eighteen.
The ghost looked at his hands again and ran them over his hair and face. Realization struck home once more, and he gazed up to lock eyes with Kyle. "This is how old I was when I first fell in love." He held the human's shirt shakily, his entire body trembling in the man's lap. "She was beautiful. She was everything. Kyla" he whispered. "Her name was like soft bells on the windher voice was a sweet melody sung by the most revered choir on Earth. Her body was perfect—hair like the deepest red sunset, face of an angel, eyes like the sea after a storm. I loved her. I loved her with all my being and more." He paused for a second. "But when she told me she loved me as wellit feltwrong. I knew she shouldn't love me like that. She loved only what she thought I was. She didn't know what I really was. And I so wanted her to love me for who I was. I thought for sure she'd understand. If she already loved me as much as she said, then she should understand and accept me. Butbut I was wrong." The teenaged ghost's voice cracked weakly, and he dropped his gaze to Kyle's chest, sadness permeating his being even more so.
"Back then, no one could understand things like me. Andsh–she was no exception. She screameds–screamed right in my face. It scared me, and I backed away. Th–That's when she ran. She ran so fastaway from me. K–KylaKyla, my beautiful angel, why did you have to leave me like that?" he moaned, sobbing once more and leaning forward to rest his head to Kyle's shoulder. "Why?"
Endri cried again, his voice reaching new heights of sorrow and clutching to his friend tighter than ever before. Kyle soothed him has best he could, realizing that what the ghost was going through was some strange way of him opening up and telling the human about his past, helping him understand all that had happened to bring him to tonight. And, from what Kyle could tell, Endri was not controlling himself at all, seeing as he looked surprised each time he changed before he realized how old he had become and where he was in his afterlife.
Again, Endri pulled back from his friend. His body was now beginning to show some bulk, but no clear definition was evident. His hair fell down to just graze the tops of his shoulders, the bangs in front more pronounced. Now, he looked about twenty, maybe even twenty–one.
He gazed at his hands, then brought them to his chest. "This is me when I studied with my sensei in Japan." The ghost's voice was even deeper, almost—but not quite—back to normal. "I lived there for over 100 years, but the time spent learning from my sensei was the best. I was actually happy then, like I was happy when I spent time with you. I loved that land, their culture, their simple way of living. Even the language was beautiful.
"I was an odd stranger in the land, but Master Kashikoi didn't care. He took me in and took it upon himself to school me in his language and culture. He also schooled me in the matter of self defense—of Martial Arts. He said I was a natural. I picked up on things quickly, getting the moves down only after one or two times being shown, and I would improvise upon them. Soon, I was able to defeat my master even.
"But he taught me a valuable lesson. I can never rely solely on my moves. I must use my other 'special talents' to aid me as well. At the time, I never knew what he meant, but years later, I realized that he was no old fool. He knew I was a ghost, but he took me in anywayfed me, clothed me, taught me all he knew, and was like another father to me. I cherished my time with Sensei, knowing he was already very old. He was the first of only two people on Earth to ever accept me for who I really was.
"One night, I was practicing my katas later than usual. When I was finished, I took a small break and sat down at my master's desk. On there was a very old scroll, just sitting alone in the middle. I picked it up and read over it, becoming more excited as I went along. After years of trying to find a way to achieve revenge on my father for murdering me, I had found my answer! That scroll described the worm gates and keys, the Neitherworld and how it worked, and even had maps of its lands, showing where each was and where each gate was located in them. I stowed the scroll away in my gi and left a note for Master Kashikoi, apologizing deeply for my abrupt disappearance. I told him how I cared for him and thanked him profusely for his kindness and the knowledge he generously bestowed upon me. Then, I left, not knowing I'd never return to that place again.
"Only after I stood back years later and took an analyzing look at how that particular scroll came to be sitting alone on his desk when I was the only one therehe was a sly old man." The ghost smirked. "He knew of my desire for revenge on a man who could no longer be touched, who could no longer be hurt, even if I could get my hands on him. He must have known a lot more than I realized." Endri's eyes dropped to Kyle's chest, staring blankly. "I found outthat very same night I lefthe died. That scroll was his parting gift to me. He never even read my note. He was already gone. I searched all over the Neitherworld after I arrived here, but I've never found him. I've never been able to tell him all that was in my letterhow much he meant to a lost soul such as me. I miss him greatly."
Endri bowed his blonde head, but did not cry. His hands drifted to Kyle's forearms and gripped him there firmly. The human twisted his hands to hold the ghost's arms also, giving him reassurance that he was still there and wasn't leaving. Endri's body bulked up before Kyle's eyes. Muscles tightened and compacted under taut skin, hair lengthened to almost normal, leaving the ghost looking about twenty–four.
He seemed to already know where he was, looking directly up into the human's eyes and staring. "This is me when I met you, Kyle," he said quietly. "And after I met you and got to really know youthings changed for me. With you, I wanted everything to be perfect. I would take my time with youshow you the kind of person I really was: gentle, not harsh all the time; kind, not hateful; eveneven a little caringif not loving." Endri looked as though he was about to blush, and he gently tossed his head to the side, looking down at the roof, averting his eyes almost shyly. He seemed to only then realize that he sat intimately upon his friend's lap. An embarrassed blush spread over his cheeks, but he just chose to not call attention to the situation, choosing instead to go on recounting his past. That was more important anyway.
"I had shielded away so many of my emotions, I thought I could never feel some of them again. But youyou brought them all out of me without me even realizing it." He brought his eyes back to Kyle's face and looked upon him intensely. "You showed me how to feel again. You showed me how to care for another person again, even though I never wanted to. You wormed your way into my heart, you bastard, and I still haven't forgiven you for it!"
Kyle swallowed nervously and slid his arms around the ghost's back, making sure that if he tried to jump up, it wouldn't be without a fight.
He never knew he meant so much to Endri.
"Forfor a time, II hated you for it," the ghost continued, baring his teeth in a snarl. "I was so angry because you made me feel when I swore to myself I never would again. Feeling causes only pain! Caring for another causes only suffering! I didn't want it again! But then you'd look at meand smileand point out something on your computer or put your arm around me and say, 'Hey, 'Driwhy don't we go out and treat ourselves to a nice dinner. We've been working hard lately, and you look like you could use a break.' And I would smile—smile!" His voice was airy and disbelieving even of his own previous actions. "Then I would nod and follow you to whatever restaurant you wanted. Only you could get me to smile like that. Only you could get me to submit to your every whim. Damn you, Kyle! You" His entire body trembled violently, and Kyle tightened his grip.
Reaching up, Endri touched madly shaking fingers to the human's cheek, tilting his head a fraction to the side in that way of his, almost curiously. Kyle held still, afraid to move away and afraid to speak. Even if he did try to say something, he had no idea what it would be.
"And you're still the only one who can make me smile like that," Endri whispered. "You're still the only one to get me to submit to your every whim. And I still hate you for it!" he shouted, voice reaching another high peak and cracking, releasing the tears to spill down and trace the dried paths of the previous ones. "But II don't blame you. You didn't know you were doing ityou were innocent. It's my fault. You were just yourselfit was I who endeared you to me. You di–didn't know. Shhhit's all right."
Shaking fingers caressed Kyle's cheek as Endri tried to calm him when the human needed no calming at all. It was the ghost who needed calmingand needed it desperately. Whatever was wrong with him, it was messing with his emotions and actions, making him do and say things he never would have considered before. He was almost behaving like a madman—ranting and raving one second, and soft and demure the next.
"Tell me something, Kyle," he went on, his speech trembling from his lips. "H–Have I shown you the kind of person I really am? Have I shown you that I'm more gentle than harshmore kind than hatefuleven a little caring? H–Have I shown you that I'm more than what I appear to be?"
Kyle stared for a moment, forcing himself to calm his disbelief and be the sturdy rope that Endri needed to hold onto. But what the ghost had saidit shocked him. To think that he had such a strong pull over Endriit wasastonishing! But that whole time, the ghost only wanted to have just one close friend out of all the hundreds of years where he could find none at all—just one person that was different from the rest. And that person Endri chose to be close to, to share everything with, to offer all he had, was Kyle.
Wow, what a good feeling it was to know that! To know that out of millions of Humans the ghost had met over the centuries, he was the only one that meant a hill of beans felt so damn good!
The whole time, the ghost's shaking hand never left Kyle's cheek, and it felt oddly nice to have it there, like it was some bit of reassurance, though for what, the human didn't know.
"Yes, 'Driyou have," Kyle almost whispered, making sure his voice was steady and strong.
Endri exhaled gratefully and lowered his head with relief, letting his hand fall to his friend's arm again. His body shifted slightly, but not much. It was barely noticeable. The ghost looked back up, the tears still on his cheeks.
"And so here we are. Now you know more about me, Kyle. I've opened up for you. I've let you into a place no one has ever come close to. You know some of my secrets. You know what hell my afterlife has been, but even from what you've seen, from what I've revealed to you tonight, that isn't even scratching the surface," he grumbled, obvious distaste for himself in every word he spat.
"One thing after another denied to me. Happiness dangled before my grasp then tugged away before my hands could take hold. And I have done so much for everyone else after I changed for the better. I've bent over backwards to make sure others wouldn't feel awkward in my presence. I've sacrificed so much of myself for everyone else that I have nothing left for me anymore. I'm spread too thin. I have nothing left. So it's time I stop. Stop this pointless façade. I'm tired of pretending I'm happy. I'm tired of stowing my feelings from the light of day. I'm tired of existing!"
Endri ripped himself away from Kyle, standing shakily and backpedaling a few steps, almost bumping back into the BJ's sign. The human jumped up right after him, ignoring all the pricking tingles in his sleeping legs and grabbing the ghost's shirt tightly.
"Don't you dare! You just sat here and practically told me you love me, and now your gonna pop off and ace yourself?!" he shouted, pulling everything into one sentence and throwing it at his friend.
"No! No, I don't dare think it could be that! Everyone I've ever loved has destroyed me!" Endri shrieked, cracking his voice harshly. Any more abuse, and his speech might never be the same. "I can't love you too! You're too important to me! If I let myself love you, you'll destroy me too! Then there would be absolutely nothing of me left! I can't love you! I can't love anyone!" He drifted off for a long moment, breathing heavily, staring into Kyle's immovable blue eyes.
"Maybe at one point, I would have admitted itI would have gone through some kind of pact with you to make you mymy blood brother."
Kyle's mouth hung open in surprise.
"I hate to disappoint you, but that's as far as my love went for you," the ghost went on, shaking his head. "And that time has passed anyway. Now it's impossible. You have too much else in your life to include me in the mix."
"Don't be ridiculous! I've always had a place for you in my life!" Kyle hissed, giving his friend a firm shake.
"Maybe so, but things can't be stopped now. It's too latetoo late for everything!"
Endri tried to take a step back and pull away, but the human only gripped his shirt tighter. "Don't you dare try to fuckin' leave! I won't let you do this, Endri! This isn't you! You would never take your own life!"
The ghost laughed bitterly, giving his friend an empty smirk. "Too latesomeone has already taken it away from me. Stolen from me twice now."
Kyle winced. "Youyou know what I mean. Please, 'Dri, don't leave. Promise me. You said I can get you to do anything, well I want you to stay right here and work this out with me."
Endri only shook his head sadly, dropping his eyes. "I'm sorry, Kyle. Not this time. It won't work anymore. I've already thought about this for a long time. Ever since I saw my mother vanish into oblivion, I've been wishing I could join herjoin her in that nothingnessthat bliss of not being." He trailed off, staring blindly, but snapped back a second later. "Now, I'm finally ready. Get out of my way." He pushed Kyle back as gently as possible, but firmly as well.
The human tried desperately to cling to the ghost's shirt, but Endri snapped it out of his grasp and lifted into the air before Kyle could reach back and grab him.
"No! Endri, please, no! You can't do this!"
Looking down on his friend's panicked expression from above, the ghost sadly shook his head again. "I'm sorry, Kyle. I wishI wish things could have been differentI really do. But it's impossible now. Things are already set in their paths. We can't go back and change them." He paused, watching Kyle pant desperately, staring up at him. A pang of emotional pain zipped through his heart, and Endri grimaced against it, feeling the tears sting his eyes again.
"Take care of yourselfPartner." He turned and sent his body through the atmosphere, sailing away toward the dark horizon.
"No, dammit! No!" Kyle shrieked, running forward. He slipped on the corrugated roofing and slid down over the side, a startled shout erupting from his throat.
When he thought he'd be in for a broken leg for sure, Endri was there, catching him up in his arms and floating gently down to the ground. They stood there, in front of the Roadhouse, for a moment, arms locked around each other's shoulders, Kyle still feeling that rush of panic.
"Are you all right?" Endri whispered.
The human chuckled shakily, keeping his hands fisted into the ghost's shirt in the back. "See? I–I can't take care of myself, 'Dri. I need you here to watch out for my clumsy ass."
Endri smiled and pulled away enough to see into Kyle's blue eyes. "Kyle" he whispered, "II'll never—" his voice caught in his throat, and the tears just poured out. He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to Kyle's forehead. "G–Goodbye, Kyle. Think of me." he whispered. Without another word or warning, Endri twisted away and blasted off the ground before Kyle could even blink, his trail of blue energy disappearing into the distance behind him.
"No" the human breathed. "No! Endri!" He ran forward as far as he could before having to stop at the very edge of the pillar of rock supporting the Roadhouse. "Endri, you bastard, come back here! How dare you do this to me?! You son of a bitch, come back! Come back!!"
The maroon door to the Roadhouse creaked open and Beetlejuice stepped out, quickly finding Kyle at the ledge with his eyes. "What the hell is all the yelling out here?!"
The human whirled around, wasting absolutely no time. "Beetle! You have to stop Endri!"
"What the hell's that boy up to now?" the ghoul asked, crossing his arms over his striped chest, much like his son.
"He's gonna commit suicide!" Kyle shrieked, running over.
Beetlejuice froze for a moment, worry leaping up to let butterflies loose in his stomach. No, that couldn't possibly be right. Endri? His son? Committing suicide? That just wasn't possible.
"What? He's already dead, how can he—"
"He's gonna drain all his energy until he doesn't exist anymore! Stop him!"
At that point, others had joined the ghoul and human outside. Lydia stood at Beetlejuice's one side, and Jacques and Ginger occupied his other. The Monster Across the Street meandered over the rickety bridge with his dog, Poopsie, in tow, brought over by the shouting.
As soon as Lydia heard Endri was trying to erase himself from existence, she gasped and tugged on her lover's arm. "Stop him, BJ!"
Beetlejuice just couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. Not his son! His son would never be reduced to such an act! "But, why would he want to—"
"That isn't important now!" Kyle shouted. "You have to find him and get him to listen to reason!"
This had to be some joke. That's right, some joke that Kyle and Endri were playing on him. Wellhe could play along for now. "Okay, okay, where did he head off to?"
The human immediately pointed off to the north.
Beetlejuice closed his eyes, reaching out with his otherworldly senses to feel for his son's energy. The boy's power spiked strangely, catching the ghoul's attention and giving away his position. Beetlejuice smirked, but couldn't keep his worry far at bay.
"Everybody, stand around me. He might need a little encouragement, and if he sees all you guys, he might realize he's being stupid."
All the friends stood close together, and with a snap of the ghoul's fingers, they all vanished in a mist of yellow.
I know it was pretty long, but everything that was in there, needed to be in there and wasn't easily separated into parts. I was really waiting for my one friend to edit this for me before I posted it, but, I'm impatient, and after literally months of being unable to get her to do it as she has no time to spare (which is okay ^_^), I decided to go ahead and post it sans editing by someone not me. :P I went through with a fine toothed comb looking for errors and wording problems and anything else, but I'm not perfect, so there's probably gonna be mistakes here and there. Just try to look over it.
Thanks for reading this far, and please spare a moment to review. I hope to see some of my old reviewers again! *hugs you guys if you came back* Until next chapter! *waves*