A/N Welcome, humans. Welcome back to Gulls, Sand, and Hot Dogs Oh My! In this week, Nana and Peach were Eski-cess-napped by-
:gets whapped by massive sledgehammer: Ah hush and get on with the story!
Me: Pushy child, aren't you?
Sledgehammer: I could be pushier.
Me: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Oh, about the tide thing- just pretend that it doesn't happen here. It's a magical beach.
Sledgehammer: Magical beach? Have I beaten you lately?
Me: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Disclaimer: I don't think owners of SSB:M get threatened get talking sledgehammers often. If they do, please tell me so- I need reassurance.
(Begin Chapter Seven)
Zelda slipped down into the sandy beach, panting. Samus was already out next to her, fast asleep. Zelda glared at the small crab, Nana's pet she had named Claws earlier, who was lying in the sand poking at a shell with a red claw, and nearly spat at it, for no reason.
Zelda and Samus, in a rescue attempt of Nana and Peach, had slipped quietly up to the Ford-vs.-Toyota speeches and debates, and planned to grab the cooler and food cart when they heard a strange, deafening roar-
"BRING OUT THE TEST DUMMIES!"
Peach and Nana, squirming around in a Toyota and Ford stolen from the parking lot, were wide-eyed and scared.
Well, Peach was. Nana was busy trying to rub the smell of banana off of her by scooting against the vinyl seats, each desperate attempt punctuated by Eskimo curses and triumphant squeaks. She could really care less if she was the victim of a Toyota-Ford war.
Peach, however, was confused, scared, and plain ticked off. Attempting to bite away the gag (a rope with the Toyota symbol drawn onto it by a purple Sharpie that Fox had brought) and scream at the same time, it was obvious she was not succeeding.
"Lemmehoewmeeshies!" she yelled through the gag, and spluttering on the taste. "Ifeygetshoo…"
The sentence roughly translated into "You're toast if you don't let me go!"
However, the princess hardly looked threatening, being covered in mustard stains and strapped into a red Toyota. She threw a frantic look at Nana, who was in the Ford, and had almost succeeded in getting all of the banana smell off of her and was eager to reach her goal, and didn't seem to notice a panicked squeak for help from Peach.
A steady drumming came from the Ford side, and out came Captain Falcon and Gannondorf, clad in sea rags and looking, rather than menacing, somewhat silly. They were both holding two staves with the words "Toyota" and "Ford" carved onto them (by Young Link, who had stolen Roy's sword to do so."
"Where is the food?" boomed Captain Falcon, and then coughed, muttering, "I need to work on my evil bellow…"
"It's like this," explained Gannondorf, and swelled out his chest and bellowed in evil-villain fashion, "WHERE IS THE FOOD!"
Captain Falcon nodded. "Can you show me how to do that later."
Gannondorf shrugged. "Sure. You see, it's all-"
A wad of wet sand smacked Ganondorf in the nose, and a (rather young) voice called out, "We only have a week here, could you get a move on? We need to finish the bumper debate!"
Captain Falcon threw a nasty glare at the side of the fort where the speaker had shouted from. "We're busy, moron!"
The voice replied mockingly, "We're busy, moooooron! Birdbrain!"
"Birdbrain?" asked Ganondorf, looking thoughtful. "Hm. I've heard worse, but-"
This time, a seashell, thrown with much more force, hit Captain Falcon solidly in the hip. "LET'S GET A MOVE ON PLEASE!"
Ganondorf stuck his nose up in the air and huffed. "You know, we could just leave and form our own group!"
"But what would it be called?" Captain Falcon mused.
"Fuel Fanatics?" suggested Ganondorf.
Captain Falcon grinned. "Brilliant!"
They both dropped the staves and walked off, saying over their shoulders, "You guys can take care of Nana and Peach, we're going to make the Fuel Fanatics!"
The two males high-fived each other and began talking about their new group. The rest of the males, Toyota and Ford alike, stared at each other.
"Well… who's going up now?" questioned Mewtwo, head bowed in thought. The Ford cape draped upon his shoulders made him look like majestic, but it sort of made him look like a purple Batman. Minus the mask/helmet and sidekick.
"Well, if you really think about it, it should be Link and Young Link… they started throwing stuff at Captain Falcon and Ganondorf," said Kirby, translated by Popo.
"I agree…ah," said Luigi, sure to add the Italian accent in there somewhere. His cape, he thought to himself, though dashing, was a wee bit short and made him look like a kindergartener going out in the streets for Halloween. However dashing, he was, it was hard to shake that image of him going up to some old lady's house and getting beaten on for saying "Trick-or-Tweat" in a kiddish voice.
But nonetheless, the cape was dashing. Luigi admired it, with the Toyota symbol and all.
Mario, on the other hand, looked like Robin from the Batman series, and was spinning around swirling and twirling out his cape for fun.
However, all the spinning went to his head and he was seen wandering around giggling and speaking in some dialect native to Italy. Often wandering off to the enemy side for him (Ford) they often gently pushed him back and let him wander, giggling insanely, back to his side, and the process repeated over and over again.
"Well, maybe we should just get back to the debates," murmured Falco, displeased with the current situation.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Pikachu, with translation from Ness. "I need to finish my debate with Pichu on the motor power and length of the wire cables."
"I think I won that one," mused Pichu, with translation from Mewtwo.
Dr. Mario, who was cleaning under his fingernails, said, "The hygiene in Toyota discussion was not nearly long enough!"
Fox rolled his eyes at the small, squat doctor. "You whiner, we spent fifteen minutes on that debate!"
Dr. Mario cast an angry look at the fox. "We spent an hour on the horsepower debate!"
"Don't diss horses," said Link, thinking about Epona.
"Horses look scary," commented Yoshi, translated by a (tired by now) Ness. "I mean, those hooves could crush a little dinosaur like me."
"Horses are cool!" said Young Link, thinking about his horse at the camping trip they took not too long ago (A/N It's in Camping Trip of Doom- worth the read!).
Kirby said, "Well, I think horses are just huge animals who don't look where they step and could easily crush little balloons like me."
Almost a millisecond (or maybe it was three, no one was timing it) after saying this, Young Link and Link leapt onto the pink-tinted marshmallow and started whacking it with boomerangs and bows.
In the midst of all the chaos, talking, and beatings, no one had noticed that Peach and Nana were being untied by Zelda and Samus.
Well, they wouldn't of noticed- if Peach hadn't screamed when Samus ungagged her "WHY DIDN'T YOU COME SOONER YOU LOSERS!"
All the male Smashers (not including Captain Falcon and Ganondorf, who were far away and discussing their new "Fuel Fanatics" club, and DK and Bowser, who were sulking (as usual) around somewhere or smashing cars to vent their anger) turned around, and Fox yelled, "Hey! They're taking our prisoners!"
Samus cast a worried glance at the enraged male Smashes running towards the four girls. "Fat's in the fire, run!"
Nana thoughtfully chewed threw her gag as Zelda, who swiftly transformed into Shiek to run faster, carried her to their safety. "I've always wondered what that meant. I just never thought I'd learn it in this… situation."
"Isn't it 'From the frying pan into the fire?' asked Zelda/Shiek curiously. Well, as curiously as she could ask running from a mob of Toyota and Ford obsessed Smashers.
"WHO CARES!" yelled Samus. "We'll be both when they catch up with us!"
So, thinking back at these thoughts when, sprawled out in the sand, glaring at a crab, Zelda sighed. If only this vacation could end.
(End chapter seven)
A/N Many things to say!
I am VERY sorry about the update thing! I am begging forgiveness! So much homework and problems… meep!
The crab/Claws thing will be explained, like how she got there in all. Just saying.
Two more chapters until end! I know, sad but true.
So remember- review and please Shadowsong, for she loves reviews and feedback! Remember! (Why am I speaking in third person…)