A/N Welcome! I am rejoicing because it is a three-day weekend- I am mourning because I have to study for finals over the weekend. But, it is six thirty in the morning- I finally have time to write!

Don't ask why I get up so early. I suppose I'm more of a morning person that night. Or would it be dawn than dusk. Or-

(Giant sledgehammer walks in and thumps Shadowsong on the head) If you woke up so early then write, you kitten!

Yessir! (writes, then looks up) Hey! Kitten is MY word!

(Gets whapped again)

Disclaimer: I am still pondering on whether or not I am a dusk or dawn person. And I REALLY doubt that the managers of SSB:M ponder weird stuff like that.

Sledgehammer: I bet they're all morning people.

(Begin chapter eight)

Zelda, sprawled out in the sand, attempted sleep, but none came. The gentle beating of the drums from the Toyota-Ford people and the scuttle of Claws kept awake, and Samus rolled over and bashed her head against the sand.

Claws. Zelda picked up a wad of sand and threw it at the crab, but instead of completely being blown away, it was just gently sprinkled.

Zelda remembered the whole incident completely… slowly she began a flashback…

After grabbing Peach and Nana, the two other girls had sprinted for the shelter of their pile of blankets and pillows, but then Nana turned around and saw a tiny figure scrabbling about in the sand helplessly.

Wriggling out of Zelda/Shiek's grasp (for she had changed earlier) she jumped out and ran after the crab…

And straight into a mob of Ford debaters.

Young Link, a Ford person, bumped into her and yelled, "Hey, can't you see that we're chasing you?"

Nana scooped up her crab, whacked Young Link on the head with her mallet, and ran as quickly as her frame could manage.

Unfortunately, between being chased by angry Ford and Toyota fans, holding a struggling crab, and not being in her natural climate, she didn't quite have the perfect sense of direction.

For she heading right into the Toyota debating tent, where sat a muttering Bowser and DK, who were playing five-card draw poker.

Time seemed to hang in the air when Nana stopped and stared at the large ape demanding three cards in exchange for his useless ones, and Bowser grumbling about having to try and pick up the stupid cards with his talons. When they both slowly turned their heads, she screamed and fled.

Unfortunately, with her hands going numb and the shock of it all, she dropped her pet crab, which scuttled about franticly attempting to find shelter and possibly a bite to eat.

DK dropped all of his cards and stared at the crab, a growing sense of fear on his face. Bowser, who hadn't really noticed the wailing Eskimo, did notice the odd silence which happened after she had left. About to complain to DK about the lack of playing and noise, he jerked his head up-

And spotted Claws and DK having a staring match.

A little background about Bowser- he has always hated crabs, and forever will. Taking a phonebook that had been left on the beach and was used as a gesturing prop for the more passionate debates, and hurled it at the small, innocent crab.

When Bowser is angry, his aim is not at it's perfection rate. The phonebook tore through the air, missed DK by inches and Claws by three feet. It spun out the tent door-

Where Mario, brandishing his staff which had once been Ganondorf's, was running in-

And got a sturdy whack on the head with the spinning phonebook. The noise it made, a slightly hollow combined with a surprised grunt from Mario, along with the terrified squeals of Nana who was captured once again by Mewtwo (who had really grabbed her on accident, thinking it was Pikachu and asking the poor female Eskimo to get him a hot dog because he was too busy with the debates to get one) and the outraged roars from Bowser, made Zelda, Samus, and Peach turn around.

"Ack!" shrieked Zelda/Sheik. "I dropped Nana!"

"I think Nana escaped, and it's not really your fault," observed Samus wisely.

"I'm going to give you some advice, Zelda- never become a prison guard," said Peach. "We'd better go get her before she does something weird…"

Zelda/Shiek gave a humorless laugh and said, "Well, how much trouble can she get in? The males will just ignore her-"

"I GOT THE ESKIMO!"

All three of the Smasher girls (Jigglypuff was sleeping through all the noise) froze. "NANA!" they screamed.

Samus started running, then turned around when the two other girls didn't follow. "Come on, Nana's probably going to be used as a hostage!"

Zelda, coming out of her shock, started running too, but Peach stayed. They both turned around, confused. "Peach? Don't you want to rescue Nana?"

Peach appeared thoughtful for a minute, then shook her head. "Come on guys- think about it for a second. She can defend herself, and she call just scream for Popo when she lands herself in a masculine mess."

Zelda threw out her hands, nearly yelling, "But she's your friend! Geez! Nayru save me, you people-"

A rough squeak came from where the males had captured Nana, and the thwack of a mallet made all the girls (except Jigglypuff and Nana) freeze again.

Another mallet thump sounded, and a "YOW!" was yelped out. Zelda, clearly not caring now if Peach was coming or not, ran towards Bowser's tent, yelling, "Get your slimy claws off of Nana!"

Outraged roars came from where the turtle was, and Bowser came out, defending his innocence, using poor Pichu as a gesturing prop.

Nana, on the other hand, had bitten Mewtwo in effort to get away from him and scattered, scooping up Claws on the way out, and jumped into Zelda/Sheik's arms, saying, "Let's get out of here!"

Zelda did a 360 and ran back, scolding Nana. "Let's! You… you little ice cube! Couldn't you of left the crab? It won't survive in your room, let alone on Ice Mountain!"

Nana stroked the red shell, murmuring, "She doesn't know what she's saying, Claws. She's probably got sand in her-"

"ZELDA!" screamed Samus, half-hysterical. "BEHIND YOU!"

Zelda did yet another 360 and was slightly surprised by the sight she saw.

Expecting a mad, roaring mob of male Smashers waving Toyota and Ford flags and wielding staffs labeled with purple Sharpie, it's not what she got.

A huge, swooping mob of seagulls were hurtling after Nana and Zelda, squawking and shrieking, all wanting a taste of seafood. Or, more specifically, Claws.

Nana, shielding Claws with her small body, yelled, "Get your own pet crabs!"

Samus quickly took up a large piece of driftwood and aimed at the lead gull, leaning back, closing one eye, and hurled it, saying, "Nana, I hate to tell you, but seagulls don't keep pet crabs."

Peach, who was whisking the air with her parasol, getting ready to whack some seagulls, commented, "Yeah, they like to eat them in a special way- legs first, then they-"

Samus whipped around and brained a particularly bold gull on the head, and ducking another clever one. "Stop it Peach! You're going to give Nana nightmares, and I'll have to listen to it because my room is next to hers!"

"Next to hers?" demanded Peach, prodding gull feathers drifting down, oblivious to the battle in the skies and ground between Zelda and the gulls. "Mine's on the other side of the hall! She's going to open the door and run across and break mine down like last time!"

"What happened last time?" asked Samus curiously, also becoming less and less interested in the battle of birds and princess.

Peach explained, thumping a bird behind her out of reflex. "She had dreams that her favorite flavor of ice cream went out of stock at the local supermarket and it was replaced with low-fat yogurt. That time wasn't as bad as the time that she dreamed the Cookie Monster was eating her sheets-"

"CAN YOU TWO PLEASE HELP ME BECAUSE THIS ISN'T GETTING ANY EASIER!" screamed Zelda, beating off the offending birds.

"Well, I had this dream once that I was in a house completely made of purple marshmallows and the doors were covered in Cool Whip and I was watching Jerry Springer-" started Peach.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

(End chapter eight)

A/N Hehe. Cliffhanger. Well, not really. You all know what's going to happen. In a way.

Sledgehammer: Speak in longer sentences, will you? Ten or more syllables.

Me: Bite me.

(Sledgehammer slams head)

Me: Owww… reviews would help heal the wound! Pleeeasee…

Oh, another note… School's out::dances: WHEEEEE!

Review please!