NOT Sailor Moon! 3 – By DS Wynne

Disclaimer: "Sailor Moon", "Aqua-Teen Hunger Force", and other genres belong to their respective owners.

Note: This is a semi-fusion story.

Okayama, Japan: The lair of Washu, the scientific genius of the universe.

"Gentlemen! Behold, I have genetically spliced a pork-chop with my old college room-mate, Dr. Clay!"

"Woah!" Tenchi Masaki replied.

"Heck yes, 'woah'! Come here, Dr. Clay-"

Washu picks up the half-porkchop/half-humanoid.

"-And pay off, your half of the utilities! HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Tenchi shakes his head.

(Enter: "Sailor Moon" intro, mixed with a hip-hop theme.)

"Mina!" Reye Hino said, as she brought in a large box marked "From: NERV,Tokyo-3". On the other side of the box was marked "LILITH sample". "I got your bunny rabbit!"

"Oh, boy!" Mina Aino said, as she went to greet Reye. "My bunny rabbit's here!"

"Hey!" said Artemis the White Moon-cat.

"Don't worry, Artemis! You'll just have more company!"

Mina turns back to Reye.

"Come on, open it!"

Reye just drops the package.

"No. You're being rude to me."

"Aw, Reye! I'm sorry!"

"Well, you better be! So, here."

"I'm going to name her 'Usagi', in honor of Serena…'cuz I miss her."

"Yeah, whatever,' Reye says, as she opens the box. Something gelatinous comes rolling out.

"Hey! This ain't no dang rabbit!"

"It's the hairless kind. And look, what I got to take care of it."

Reye hands Mina a box of hair, bendable wires covered in cloth…and a stapler.

"You can use this stapler to put ears and fur on your pet."

"I don't know. But it's worth a shot."

As soon as Mina starts stapling, the glob attacks her.

"Ow! Owie!"

"Don't worry about it!" Reye says with a laugh. "It's just showing you its love."

"Well, it's it love if you start feeling funny, as you slowly get absorbed?"

"Well, I'm sure that will pass."

As Mina runs into her room, Amy Anderson steps into the house.

"So, did Mina's pet come in?"

"What pet? OH! Yeah, it did."

Amy picks up the box, and frowns upon reading the surface.

"And it came in THIS?"

"I don't…YOU'RE the one with the computer."

Then a glow emitted from Mina's room.

"Mina!" Amy said, as she runs into Mina's room.

"Aw, there she is!" Reye says with a chortle.

In the center of Mina's room a vaguely shaped "Mina" stands still. It was white, and gelatinous.

"Mina, are you okay?" Amy asked.

"I…I think so," said a muffled Mina. "It's…kind dark in here."

"I say we should seal this room up, and wait until Mina has been fully absorbed."

"…"

"What? That way, we can get a more powerful 'Sailor Venus'!"

"Any, way, stand back," Amy said, as she transformed into "Sailor Mercury". "I'll freeze it off!"

"Just a second," Reye said, as she gets her camcorder. "Now, you can do it."

"Get ready Mina-"

"Oh, no you don't!" Mina said.

"But, Mina-!"

"If you hurt 'Usagi', I'll never forgive you!"

"Darn! The process is already starting to take hold! I can't do it!"

"Well, may be I can!" Reye said, as she transforms into 'Sailor Mars'.

"You're going to help for a change?"

"Yeah, if, nothing else, I can avoid getting a lecture from YOU."

"Bet you going to get a lecture anyway, 'cuz it's your fault!" Mina said.

"What? You have something to say in my face?" Mars said, as she began malleting 'Usagi'.

"Ha! That didn't hurt!"

"Well, then, here's another! And another! And another-!"

Then, 'Usagi' turns its head in Mars direction.

"What? Do YOU have something to say?"

A moment later…

"Aw, man!" said Mars, from the inside of 'Usagi'. "It's smells awful in here!"

"You should close your mouth, then!" Mina retorted.

'Usagi' was bigger, and looked more like a typical Sailor Scout.

"It's now or never!" Mercury says. "Mercury Ice Bubble FREEZE!"

FWOOSH!

Then, Mercury took a mallet, and struck it, hoping to shatter the gel off her friends.

CRISH!

Unfortunately, everything, including Mina and Reye was shattered.

"Oh, no!" Mercury cried. "Nooooooo!"

A day later…

"Thanks for coming out here, Melvin," Amy said, as she sits a flower of the graves of Mina Aino and Reye Hino.

"It's no problem babe," Melvin replies, as he hugs Amy…longer than necessary. "I'm here to console you."

"That's enough, Melvin," Amy replies, as she breaks the hug. "I should have paid more attention. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!"

"Well, it kinda is. But screw it! You're alive, and they are NOT."

"I guess so."

And with that, Amy leaves the site. And then, it dawns on Melvin, as he looks around.

"This is a construction site, isn't?"

Later that night…

"Yeah, I'm finally glad to get rid of the bookworm look, along with the rest of the losers," Amy said over the phone, who was now dressed as a typical gothic/punk chick (i.e. heavy eye-liner, black lipstick, etc.). "Now bring over your bad self…or I'll sell those pictures of you over the Internet! Hohohoho-!"

(Scene: a montage of debauchery, where Amy is partying like it's no tomorrow.)

The next day…

"What?" Amy said, who was suffering from a hangover, as she opened front door dressed in a halter-top and a mini-skirt.

"While I like the 'new YOU', your racket last night kept me up all night," Melvin said. "So, if you don't mind me asking, what the heck was going on?"

"Melvin, Melvin, Melvin. You know, I've been wantin' to do this for a LONG time."

"And, what's that, babe?"

"Oh, to cut ya!"

Amy forms a blade made from ice, and jams it into Melvin.

"This is what you get for starting those rumors back when we were at Crossroads Middle School! Hohohohohohoho-!"

Amy then cuts up the body and tosses it in the dumpster.

"Heeheeheeheehee! There goes the neighborhood!"

Later that night…

"This place has been dragging me DOWN!" Amy said, as she pours gasoline all over the living room. "I'm tired of being responsible! I'm going to get Greg to be my future baby's 'daddy', and get him to take care of me-"

"AMY…"

Amy turned around, to see the zombie versions of Mina, Reye and Melvin. She had dropped her lighter, just as she lit it. Fire begins to consume the room.

"What!"

"You killed us…"

"It was an accident!"

"Well, MY death wasn't an accident…"

"You, Melvin, were a jerk!"

"Then…it was an accident?"

"Yes, for you two, no for him!"

"Doesn't matter," said Mina. "You killed us!"

"It was an accident!"

"No it wan't!"

"Yes it was!"

"No it wasn't!"

"Yes it was! Yes it was-"

"Gah!" Amy woke up. "What happened?"

"You caught a cold," Serena Tsukino said, as she eased her friend back into her bed. "I was stopping by to make sure that things were okay."

"Oh, thanks. For a minute there, I thought my life had turned upside down."

"Well, you get some rest."

As soon as Serena closes the door, she turns into a white, gelatinous-like humanoid.

It was 'Usagi'.

"When are you going to let us out?" said Mina.

"Yeah, I got a date, you know!" said Reye.

Both Reye and Mina had been absorbed by the fragment from the angel "Lilith", who was being secured at NERV, a facility at Tokyo-3. The fragment had used the collective memories of Reye and Mina to take a facsimile of their friend Serena.

"You two don't get it. When Amy is well, she will join you. And then I will go after the other members of the Sailor Scouts. And when that is done, I will be strong enough to free myself from the humans who have imprisoned me. HOHOHOHO-!"

Fin.

Author's note: This is the last part of the Sailor Moon/ATHF fusion trilogy. Dark ending for a dark show. I've mined this avenue as much as I would like, so I'm done. Later!