Diary of Harry Potter

The train is moving, and here I sit alone. Perhaps it is better this way, this way no one else will get hurt. Perhaps I am meant to be alone , not just when I am to full fill my destiny but for my entire life. Already so many people have been killed because of me, who would blame them for not wanting to be around me?

As I arrived at Kings Cross, with half of the Order as my body guards, and I made my way to Platform 9 3/4 I imeditally began my search for Ron or Hermione, ignoring the indignant cries of Hedwig as I moved quickly through the crowds. It wasn't until the train was about to leave that i spotted a flash of red hair boarding the last car of the train.

"Ron" I called, running to them, dodging rows of waving parents"Ron" Then I saw the black cloaked figure beside him and froze as Hermione turned her bruised pale face with sad brown eyes to look back at me. Then the anger in her features as she spotted me drove into my heart like a bullet causing me to gasp slightly.. She turned back to Ron, who with a similar glare in my direction, helped her onto the train.

Dropping all of my things I ran, fast as I could to them. "Ron! Wait" I yelled , the trains whistle screamed as he turned and pushed me away from himself and Hermione, who stood behind him. "Back off , Potter." he said in a hate filled tone, pulling out his wand and pointing it directly at my chest. Too stunned to move i just staid there, staring at them both as they disappeared onto the train and into a compartment.

Perhaps I am a fool to not have considered the fact that they might be angry with me, or even blame me for what happened to Hermione. Of course they did, because it is my fault. If they hadn't been friends of mind none of this would have happened to them. Destiny, heh, seems funny now that the boy-who-lived in turn lost anyone that was ever close to him because of his destiny.

I sit alone on the train, apparently word has gotten out that I am not someone to be friends with or risk a 'fate worse than death', writing this. The words of the prophecy repeating over and over in my mind as a horrific reminder of what I have to look forward to.

I bet Draco Malfoy is having the best day of his life if the gossip has gotten out that the "Golden Trio" has broken up and that I am totally alone.

(Later)

As the train arrived at Hogsmead station I was the last to exit, I didn't want to see Ron or Hermione again, and I am pretty sure they didn't want to see me either. I sat alone in a carriage as well and when I arrived at the castle was totally avoided or ignored by everyone there, it was like I didn't even exist. Before I followed the chattering group of students into the Great Hall , a solem looking Professor Mogonogal pulled me aside, telling me that Dumbledore would like a word with me.

Silently I nodded and followed her, not caring that everyone still in the entrance hall was watching as I left. I felt dazed, confused, as though it were all just a dream. We reached the stone gargoyle that guarded the headmasters office , Mcgonogal spoke the password that I didn't catch then stood back to let me up the stairs. I knocked the entered at the call of the old wizards voice. He stood there behind his desk, a calm fawlks sitting on his perch beside him. "Ah, welcome , Harry, welcome" He called in a soft but slightly happy tone, in my mind I wondered what he was so happy about until he walked around and stood before me.

I remember when I had to look up at him as a younger student but now our eyes were on the same level and I stared into his mysterious blues with a questioning expression. "Ron and Hermione" I started but he held up his hand. "Yes, yes Harry I know. They are quite upset over what happened to Hermione over the summer. But I think given some time" It was my turn to cut him off"Time? You think time will ever replace what they have taken from her? Will time fix the fact that I couldn't protect or save her? Let alone visit her in the hospital!

I was so angry with him for letting her get hurt, for letting my parents and Sirius die, for letting this Prophecy detail my life. I could feel my temper rising with my frustrated anger, my fists balling up at my side. "Harry...please..."my mentor said, looking very sad and tired suddenly. At that I turned and stormed out of his office, knowing that at another minute I would have openly attacked the old man. I did not return to the Great Hall but to my Dorm where I found that all of my things had been placed by my bed, but that Ron's things were not at the bed beside mine. I guess he requested to be moved away from me. I changed and then lay in bed, the others are comming in now, but no one seems to even care if I am here or not. I feel as tough I am losing my mind and have no one to help me find it.

Diary of Harry Potter

I am living in my own personal hell with no means of escape.When I woke this morning I found all of my room mates already getting ready for the school day. Dazed for a moment I wondered why no one was looking at me but it all came crashing back as they all dressed as quickly as possible. I collected my things for a quick shower but jumped in surprise as someone said, "Hey, Harry." It was Neville who stood a safe two feet away and would not meet my gaze.

"Hey ." I said in return and he stood there for a long time not saying anything. "Ron...told us that Hermione got kidnapped over the summer because of you. " he said boldly, looking up into myface, "Is it true?" he asked with such disbelief that I felt heartened but I cringed at the knowledge that Ron had told eveyone it was my fault.

My mind reeled, no one has any clue about the prophecy but some how Ron or Hermione figured out that it all has something to do with me. I realized right then how right they were to stay away from me, and how selfish it would be of me to keep anyone else by my side to suffer the same fate as my parents.

"Yes...it was because of me." I admitted in a soft voice. He stood there too stunned to speak, finally I moved around him to the shower. Having no appetite I showered through breakfast, praying that I would not see Ron or Hermione while in class.

I was not so lucky though as I saw them in myvery first lesson, to make matters worse it was potions. Snape must have been in the worst mood I have ever seen him in for his told us of our new partners for the year between clinched teeth. Unfortunatly when he called that Ron and I would be partnered together Ron stood quickly from his desk.

"I refuse to be partenered with him." He said loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the class, Slytherins included, but I lowered my head in shame not meeting anyones questioning stares.

"Sit down, Mr. Weasley! Ten points from Gryffindor.!" Snape yelled at him, I could feel heat rushing to my face as more stared at me.

"You can give me detention for the rest of the school year if you want, but I would rather be expelled than have to be partenered with Potter."

Snaped looked from Ron to me, I didn't see him but I could feel his eyes on me.

"Fine, Mr. Weasley you pair up with Mr. Goyle. Mr.Malfoy you'reto be with Mr. Potter." I winced, knowing that Ron would be quite put out over having been paired with one of the thickest people at Hogwarts and that Malfoy would see to it that my potions class was a living hell for the entire year. But neither boy said a word against it and Snape went on reading the pairings as Goyle moved to sit by his new partner. I had taken a seat in the back away from everyone but now moved to sit beside Malfoy who didn't even look at me but appeared whiter than usual. Perhaps our encounter on the train had him slightly aprehensive of me.

The remander of the class went by without a single negative comment, or comment at all, out of Malfoy. I watched him for a bit noticing that he had gotten taller, just as I had, thathis hair was longer and his body a bit more muscular. For a moment I could see why he was one of the school girls biggest heart throbs.

He caught me watching him then, and his startling silver eyes met mine and for a fraction of a second I thought I could see some sort of sympathyor understanding behind them, but with a blink it was gone as was the contact as he looked away.

Thankfully I did not have another class with my two ex-best friends for the rest of the day, yet having not eaten for the better part of two days I forced myself to attend dinner tonight. I sat alone at the end of the table, everyone in Gryffindor, even the first years avoiding me like the plague. From the table on the far side of the hall I heard the snickering and whispers of Drac Malfoyand his friends, but I didn't care. If I would have reacted to it they would have old been more amused, so I ate in silence.