I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who wrote me a review. Thank you for your very kind words , I will try to get the chapters out as fast as possible. I do hope you continue to read and hopefully enjoy the rest.

Thanks Again, retirwmotnahp.

Diary of Draco Malfoy

Have I become so like my father that none can see past my name and face to know who I truly am? Even my own friends in my house are only my friends because they fear me or are in awe of my families wealth. Can't they see that I would give it all up just to be a normal , happy student with no history of evil or darkness in my blood.

Perhaps I should run away, heh, even the idea makes me laugh, I know father would find me and kill me for my betrayal. No, I remain here in my personal hell, spying on an enemy that is not my own.

I write to father once a week telling what Potter is up to and who he talks to, or I should say who he doesn't talk to. For the past three weeks all I have written is "No change" after my first three letters all detailed the same activity. He barley eats, no one talks to him, and Weasle and the mud-blood are no longer friends with him.

I gather that this was the Dark Lords intention by having me rape the young Gryffindor girl , so that she would hate him and thus destroy Potters self esteem. It seems to have worked , he seems to be slowly fading away.

I still can't see why the other Slytherins joke about him and make rude comments behind his back, yes I do it as well but not near as heart felt as in my younger years. I use to hate him because he was perfect, everyone's little pet who could do anything. But there was another reason too, I wanted to be his friend, I wanted to get to know him for who he really was, but he turned me away and chose Weasley and Granger over me, sometimes that still stings my ego.

But now, I see him everyday, slowly withering away. I sit beside him in Potions now and I can sense something so very pathetically depressed within is green eyes that I feel sorry for him, and a new emotion that disturbs and frightens me a bit. I feel like I want to help him, or perhaps I just want him to help me.

I know that if I ever decided to risk leaving father and the death eaters that Harry would be the only one who could help me, and keep me safe. How I know this I don't know, but the hate between us would never allow him to help someone like me.

(later)

What to do now? I know father has gotten a copy of the Prophet today, Merlin this means that Harry really is our only hope! (For some reason I have caught myself calling him Harry instead of Potter, I do not know why.) The Dark Lord must be thrilled beyond belief that the Prophet was thick enough to reveal something this important.

I wonder how long Harry has known, since he was a kid? Since he came to Hogwarts? What must it be like for him to know that he is the destined one to kill the Dark Lord, to know that that destiny killed your parents? And now his friends hate him because of what I have done, it's like he is all alone...like me.

For the past few weeks I have watched him grow thin, he always looks exhausted with dark circles under his eyes and at the few meals he does attend I never see him eat anything. I almost never see him inbetween classes or even in any of my other classes, besides potions. Where he goes or what he does I don't know, though Father has written and told me that he wants me keeping a better eye on him and I am not quite sure how.

At breakfast this morning as I watched Snape pull Harry from his seat I felt my face pale and stomach tighten with an emotion that I can only name pity, because I don't know what else it could be. I felt for him, I didn't want anything else to have happened to mess his life up any more than it already is. It was at that moment that Pansy decided to call my attention.

"What are you always staring at Potter for, Draco?" she asked in a false chipper voice that meants shecared but did't want me to know that she did.

"I told you..I have to watch him." I said betweeen clinched teethturning my attention back to my porrige, though I was no longer hungry.

"Yeah, but you watch him like you can't take your eyes off of him.It's almost like you want him-"

At her words I stood quickly from the table and glared at her, "Don't let that big mouth of yours run away with you just because you are jealous of anything else I am involved in beside you; you don't want to get your self in trouble." I said in my darkest cruelest tone, I could see the shocked expression written over her features and the embarrisment in her eyes. I felt the hall then, but my thoughts were troubling.

I think it was then that I realized that I may have several complicated feelings when it comes to Harry. Do I think I want him, like pansy suggested? No, but there is something ...different inside me when I look, or even think about him. These feelings and ideas frighten and for some strange reason excite me! Am I infactuated with him ?

I will just have to worry about it later, though I really wish I had someone I could talk to about it. I have to go and send my report to father, I will write more later.