Diary of Harry Potter (written on a separate sheet of parchment)

Darkness. Darkness is all I have left. Everything that once shown light into the dark pit of my existance is gone, or in fact never was. All of it was a lie, everything that i have ever been told since I was a child was a lie! Am I so blind and nieve to think that there would actually be people out there to genuinely care about me, and love me for who I am, I guess so. How could they do this? I know the answer, but I don't want to admit it to myself...it's because I am a weapon. Something to be used and toyed with when the time arises, but I am not given the luxury of freedom, the luxury to have my own life. Dumbledore has puppeted my entire life from the moment I was born. Mother, Father...was your demise part of his plan? I do not know...I am not sure of anything anymore.
After leaving the Great Hall this morning I don't really remember much..I could feel everything around me spinning and my head felt as though my face were caving in upon it'self. My thoughts were shadowed by the repeating words of the letters clutched in my hand. Everything was ablur but I kept running...running with no where to go. When I finally collapsed outside inthe snow I scrambled to the only building that was near...and found that I had obviously gone to my dorm and gathered the few things that still mattered to me; my fathers invisibility cloak,my Gringotts key, the mauruders map, and the knife and mirror that Sirius had given me,for those few gifts are the only things true in my life. I left everything else behind, whatwould I need with magical things when I had no intention o f remaining in the wizarding world.
There are questions, so many questions thatI shall never have answers for..because I am never going back. They can't make me go back...they can't make me fight. I wonder now that I have cooled down from reading the annomyus letter at breakfast; All this time were Ron and Hermione just following orders? Everything that we did together, everything they did for me, was it all just because they were told to do it? Every year I have been at Hogwarts some strange event takes place where I am eventually forced to play the hero, was all of that, The Sorcers Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, even the Tri-Wizard was it all planned?I don't think it all was...but over the years I have come to the realization that there is little that goes on at Hogwarts that Dumbledore does not know...but there must be parts of those situations that he knew about and either controlled or let things happen so that I would ..gain experience...I guess.
One thought troubles me the most. That day on the train, the first day of school if Ron and Hermione wouldn't have sat with me and become my friends, who wouldI be friends with? I remember the day in Diagon Alley before that, I was getting fitted for my school robes and I met him there. Silver piercing eyes met mine and I was lost for a moment. Perhaps I just wanted so desparatly to make friends but...I liked him...more than that...I wanted to Be him. I wanted to look perfect, to know everything about the wizarding world, to be rich, to be loved.
But he and I were not to be friends, he was rude to Ron and Hermione on the first day of school and when the sorting hat was on my head I begged it not to put me in slytherin. But it was right...I should have been in slytherin...and does..does that mean that I would be his friend and if so...would I be training to be a death eater right now? Would I be on the wrong side of the specrtum? No...no it can't be...I...I'm still myself...aren't I? I would never work for Voldemort, would I?No..the prophecy says thatI am going to fight him...thatI am destined to fight him...unless that too is just something else that Dumbledore made up to further manipulate me.. which to me at the moment seems very possible.
I sit here alone in my shack, not caring much about my surroundings or how long I will stay here. I don't even really know where I am going, I have no plans...and darkthoughts control me as I watch the snow fall outside the broken panes of glass...they remind me of the pain in my heart...the way it felt when i read those last few words of Dumbledores letter. "I know this may not be a pleasent experience but I assure you that to comply would be in your best intrest." Damn you Dumbledore...who the hell gave you the right to play god!

Diary of Draco Malfoy.

Oh ,Salazar what a night! I am more exhaused and sore than I ever remember being in my enitre life!After nearly 6 hours I finally found the boy wonder!I had actually given up hope and had started back to the castle when I thought to check in one last place, the shriecking shack. I guess it would have been obvious to anyone else but honestly who would run away to that dump? I mean I searched all of the grounds, the castle, the quidditch pitch, and then at night I was able to leave the grounds undetected and walked around Hogsmead in search of the boy wonder but I found no sign of him and no one had seen him. (I, of course, wondered around with a heavy black hoodedcloak and a disillusionment charm so as not to be recognized) But as I started down the long trail to Hogsmead I saw the shack in the distance and out of the corner of my eye I saw something..and flicker of light...like the brife waver of a candle. It was so short that for a while I stood there thinking I had imagioned it, but after a long internal battle of weather or not to investigate I ventured forth and found myselfstanding on what use to be the front steps of the house.
I slowly made my way inside, after my own personal experiences I knew for a fact that the place was haunted by some evil spirts and ghosts that even the Hogwarts ghosts didn't speak of. Stopping in the door way, which was no warmer than the icy chill outside.Lowering my hood and pulling my wand from the side pocket of my cloak I slowly walked down the hall.
"Potter?" I whispered into the dark, I stopped just outside of an ajar door where a soft golden glow was comming from the door. Taking a deep breath I slowly opened it and much to my annoyance it made a very loud creaking sound and would have announced my arrival but I knew he already knew I was there. I could feel him, I don't know how but I know he could feel me too...and there was something in the back of my head like a white cloud reading me and I threw what form of shields I have learned to control over my thoughts.
As I walked into the room I froze at the sight of him standing there a foot from the shattered window staring out into the night, his livid green eyes glassy and unmoving. He was wearing a black turtle neck sweater that seamed to cling to his muscular torso and accent the fine lines of his form and a pair of dark blue jeans. His black Hogwarts cloak lay on a dusty chair forgotten and it amazed me that he was not freezing. The soft moon light that was comming in from the window cast blue highlights in his jet black hair and made his tan skin appear to softly glow. I blinked a few times...realizing with a flush that I was staring at him. But he hadn't turn to me, he hadn't said anything, he hadn't even moved, like he was a statue.
"P-potter?" I whispered taking a single step closer to him.
"What are you doing here? " he asked with out turning to me, his voice was icy, and I felt a chill run down my spine. "I expected Voldemort to send someone,...but I honestly hadn't expected it to be you, but then agin...nothing ever works out quite the way I think it will.." he said in the same cold voice, his eyes unmoving still.
When he didn't continue speaking I replied, "No one sent me...but someone will come...I am not the only one" with that he was on me, he had moved so fast, like the day he had tried to kill me, only this time his hands were not around my throat. Knocking me back to the door my wand fell from my hand. He held me pinned against the wall, and I gasped as my eyes met his. Never had I ever seen such a strange intense color, it was bright like a forest green that glowed but the depths of them were piked with a dark shade that betrayed his inner grief.
"WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME? WHAT MORE CAN YOU TAKE AWAY FROM ME, HUH? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST KILL ME A LONG TIME AGO? WHY THIS? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!" he screamed at me his face scant centimeters from my own. I could feel his powers pulsing around us, his anger surging with uncontrolled force but it didn't stop, it rose to a point where I could feel my mind drifiting away with it, and our eyes remained locked as his green orbs seemed to grow brighter his brows coming together in obvious pain and I felt the full impact of it and cried out sharply. Everything around us was shaking, or spinning he was losing hold of everything, either from extreme grief or rage or both but I knew that if he didn't stop he would end up killing us both.
"Harry...please..." I cired out weakly , I felt as though I was being drained and my vision was full of small white stars and harry's face and I blacked out. When I woke Harry was sitting on the floor beside me, his head in his hands and his knees pulled to his chest and shaking violently. I was slumped against the wall my self, having remained where I had fallen. I took a few deep breaths before looking around at him.
"A..are you alright..." I asked in a very soft whisper, fearing that I would cause another outburst, but on the contrary I recieved a small nod. After watching him and laying back against the wall and closing my eyes he finally spoke.
"W..what are you doing here..." he asked, his voice was slow and calm.
"I...I came to bring you back..."
"Why..?"
"I...I don't know...because you're not safe with out your wand.." I said lamely and was startled as a low bitter laugh emited from him and I looked up at him in surprise, he had his head tossed back against the wall and his eyes were closed, just as I had been a moment before.
"You have no idea..." he started
"I'm serious...I'm not the only Slytherin with a Death Eater for a father you know...they would have all written to their parents at first chance I'm actually shocked no one is here to kill you now!" I said with a small scowl, not really sure why I was giving away so much information.
He didn't say anything for a long time but then moved his head from the wall and looked at me, and not just a glance but a long contemplative look that nearly caused me to blush but I am a masterof my physcial appearance when I want to be and mantained composure.
"You really didn't tell your father...did you...why not?" he tilted his head to one side as though seeing me for the first time, and that very idea sent a chill down my spine.
"I...I don't know...I just...wanted to find you"he cut me off there and looked away from me, staring out the window a good thirty feet away.
"You know, I never believed in destiny or fate...I never wanted to think that it was all already planned out for me and that i really had no choice in the matter...but then I found out about the prophecy and I realized that everything that happens has a reason..everything that we do or say has a reason behind it, like it was meant to happen...and what we have to figure out is what that reason is and why..." he returned his sad jade eyes to me, "Like right now...you being here...there is a reason for that to...you were meant to come and look for me...but why.." he stood, slowly as though every movement pained him, and when he finaly got to his feet he was panting a bit and leaning against the wall. I stood also and realized why he had acted so pained.
Severus had once told me that with powerful wandless, physic, or metaphysical magic the user and reciever would have what was known as "backlash" which was basically a complete drainage of magical power and physical strength. Slowly I stood with him and winced all the way eventually leaning against the wall not noticing that he had moved to stand a few feet in front of me and was watching me until I caught my breath and reopened my eyes.
He was giving me a strange expression as though waiting for me to speak.
"Why are you here, Malfoy." he asked when I didn't say anything for a few minutes and nothing but silence remained between us. "The real reason...not why you think you came here...but why ...what is the reason for you being here...right now...with me...?"
His eyes were penetrating, intense and I had to look away from them and to the floor. I searched my mind for all the things I thought of while searching for him, why had I come here? It was like some strange force pulling me to look for him.
"Because...I am the only on who ...who can make you go back." I said with out thinking, and looking up at him. He tilited his head to one side again looking at me strangely and for once I wished I could read him as he could read me.
"Why do you think you can bring me back there...as far as I am concerned I am never going back."
"Because despite your anger and hurt you are still the same caring, unselfish person you always were." my voice had such conviction but I had no clue where the words were comming from, it was like someone else was saying them with my mouth, and i took a step closer to him, "You are still Harry Potter...they didn't make you who you are...you have a good caring heart and you're a natual hero. You and I both know that you wont let the Dark Lord win, at least not with out a fight. "
He turned away from me and moved to the window, seeming angered by my words but he was listening and he apparently wasn't going to lose control again.
"This isn't my war anymore...they were just using me...like a puppet.."
"No...This is your war..you have more reasons to fight it than anyone else!" I exclaimed taking a step to him, "He killed your parents...he tried to kill you...and if it werent for him Dumbledore wouldn't have had to use you like a weapon!"
Silence hung then, thick...but I could tell that he was thinking about what I had said. Slowly he turned to me.
"You want me to fight him? You want me to kill him? Why...you're..you're a slytherin. You've hated me my entire life. Why are you here trying to get me to go back and fight him when you're suppose to be working for him, when your father is a death eater? I don't get it...or ...or are you playing some sort of game...?"
He was watching me again with that penetraitng stare but he wasn't trying to use occulmancy to read my thoughts or intentions. It was my turn to turn away from him.
"There are many things that you do not know about, but many of those I cannot tell you without sacraficing my own safety..." I muttered under my breath. The air in the room suddenly felt too thick to breath and I closed my eyes against the pressure in my chest. "You have to come back...you...are our only hope..." I whispered. He didn't respond for a long time and I feared he wouldn't respond.
"I'll think about it..." he whispered and I only nodded, I knew that was a que to leave and I took it. I left out the door but stopped half way to turn back and look at him one last time, just in case it was the last time I would ever see him.
I returned to the castle, it's late but I knew I had to write this down, I don't know if I will be able to sleep tonight, he has shown me so many different sidesof him tonight. His eyes are truly windows to his soul. In my past years never would I have thought he was capable of such depth, but with in his eyes I can see how intensely he entraps himself in everything he does. No wonder a broken heart would nearly kill him.