Disclaimer: Same, nothing's changed, no matter how I wish.
On with the story…
Laney walked out of her room and headed to the tavern where she knew everyone would be. She had decided that she didn't want to eat anything so had stayed in her room trying to figure out exactly what had happened that day. She wished for a journal so she could write down everything. She knew that some memories diminish with time and she wanted to remember everything that happened, good or bad. So lost in her thoughts, she didn't see Galahad until she was almost upon him. When he spoke, she jumped and as he was laughing at her, she gave him a frown. "No, you didn't scare me, Galahad. I just was thinking and wasn't watching where I was going." She saw the smile fade as he looked at her with intensity.
"What were you thinking so hard about? Your home? Did you remember something?" She was about to make a scathing remark about curiosity killing the cat when she looked into his face. He was genuinely concerned, she could see it in his eyes. Letting her annoyance dissipate, she attempted to allay his concern. "No, nothing as grand as that. I just wished I had some paper and a pen… writing instrument so I could write down all I see and learn while I'm here." When he didn't seem to catch her almost mistake, she relaxed a little. She would have to be careful about talking of things that would be way over their heads. She didn't remember if she had ever read what they called what she had almost called a 'pencil'. Wrinkling her eyebrows in thought, she didn't see the suspicious look he was giving her.
"You know how to write your letters? I've only met a few people who could do that and they were all religious clerics. How do you know how?" The question caught her by surprise. She hadn't realized that reading and writing were so rare now. It had been so long since she had met anyone over the age of five that hadn't learned at least that much, that she forgot how uneducated the people of the Dark Ages really were. "I don't remember how I know, it just seemed that I should be writing things down. For all I know, I can't really write down things at all." She knew her lie feeble, but she couldn't think of anything else. Trying to take his attention away from her inept attempt at normal conversation, she asked, "are you heading to the tavern?"
He took a moment to answer and she was beginning to wonder if she would have to find Arthur to rescue her from her own tongue. "Yeah, at first I didn't think I had recovered from earlier enough to start again, but after I ate I felt much better." She saw the gleam in his eye and realized he was trying to be funny. "You must have stopped drinking shortly after I left to be sober this early." She teased. He looked at her and smiled. "I couldn't let you go there tonight and give somebody else a chance to win your heart, now could I?" he teased back.
She playfully slapped him on the arm, "you know, if I didn't see with my own eyes, I'd think you guys hadn't seen a woman before. Every time I round a corner one of you is trying to get me in a dark corner." She had meant it in jest, but the look he was giving her let her know he had taken her at her word. "If someone gets out of hand with their advances you must come tell me. I won't allow someone to mistreat a woman in such a manner." Pausing to make sure she was looking at him, he finished, "especially one as nice as you are." Again he flashed his toothy grin at her and she understood how easy these men had it when it came to women. The 'players' back home would be put to shame to keep up with this lot.
She put on her most serious face, "I assure you, if someone does something I don't want done, I will yell loud and long enough that you will know." Her answer seemed to satisfy him and again they were walking in silence. The silence was a little uncomfortable for Laney, she couldn't think of anything to say since small talk was difficult when the other person might not understand what the hell you were talking about. His silence made her wonder if he was trying to decide if she were being honest with him or if he was just comfortable with her presence. Before she had decided which was the case, they were rounding a corner and going into the crowded tavern.
Immediately she spotted the table where the knights were gathered. She glanced around and realized that Tristan wasn't there or anywhere else in the area. She didn't know if she felt disappointment or if she were glad not to have to undergo any more of his suspicious looks. Besides, she couldn't relax and have a good time if she was trying not to do anything to further label her a whore. 'Damn him,' she thought. 'Why can't he just mind his own business and stop trying to analyze every move I make?'
When Lancelot spotted Laney walk into the room with Galahad he stood up and headed her way. "What had brought such a glow to your face?" he queried. Laney brought her hand up to her cheeks and realized she was blushing at the thought of what Tristan had done earlier that day. "I walked around in the sun and wind a lot today, I must be sunburned." He looked at her and seeming to accept her answer, he reached out to take her by the hand.
"Come, join us for a drink. Just don't step between Gawain and that wooden plank. He's been throwing his knife at it for about an hour now." She looked over to see Gawain pulling his knife out of the wood and saw the troubled expression on his face. "What is he so sad about?" she asked.
"I don't know, he's been like that since he came back from your walk a couple of hours ago. I hoped he had tried to woo you and been terribly rejected." She knew he was only half-kidding and decide to try to beat him at his own game. "No, that can't be it, we had a wonderful time together after we had finished the tour." She pretended to be pondering on what else it could be and expected Lancelot to make a snide remark. Instead she was surprised to hear a whisper in the ear facing away from Lancelot. "I'll wager you did." She quickly turned toward the voice and found Tristan walking beside her.
His remark made her so angry that the only way she could handle it was to confront him and get it over with. She was about fed up with his comments and innuendos. She stopped walking and turned to face him. "Only someone so sneaky as to follow his 'friends' around would be capable of judging something he should have no knowledge of. If you want to know anything about what I do, all you have to do is ask. Save yourself some time and energy next time." She didn't realize her tone had risen along with her voice. By the time she finished everyone in the place was looking at the two of them standing in the middle of a crowded bar.
She quickly tried to cover up the fact that they were disagreeing about something by lowering her voice and pretending to have a normal conversation. "I have not lied to you yet and I don't see any reason to start now. What you thought you saw may not be the entire story of what happened. Ask and I'll fill in the blanks." Having said that, she gave him a smile she hoped would cover up her anger and turned to go toward the table. Only then did she realize that Lancelot was still standing there with his mouth hanging open at her outburst. She smiled, turned around, went back to where he was standing, and put her arm through his. "Now, about that drink…" She let her words trail off as they went over to the others.
Gawain looked over to her as he released his knife. "Hey, I thought you weren't coming out again. I'd hoped I didn't wear you out too much this afternoon." She took him to mean that he hoped she hadn't walked too much but from the snicker she heard coming from Bors, she realized it could be taken a different way. She was so damned tired of this whole affair, 'no pun intended', she thought. "Damn, can't you men ever think of anything else." Then she turned to Lancelot, "I think I'll pass on that drink. If you'll excuse me, I think I'd rather just go to sleep." She turned to go toward the sleeping quarters. When she got almost away from the crowd she felt someone grab her arm.
Stopping to glare at whoever had decided to interrupt her exit, she found Lancelot giving her a look of concern. "Laney, no one meant anything by what just happened. I think you misunderstand us." He was trying to smooth things over, but she just didn't want to hear any of it. She jerked her arm away from him and started walking away. He was coming up behind her again when they got out of earshot of everyone. She stopped to see if she couldn't just make him leave her alone and when he didn't say anything she let out a long, slow sigh. "Lancelot, please, I just want to retire to my room and get some sleep. Maybe I'm more tired than I thought." He was looking at her face as she spoke and thought she did sound tired. But there was something more and he had promised Arthur to keep an eye on her.
"Laney, the men really didn't mean to offend you. They wouldn't be talking the way they do if they didn't feel comfortable in your presence." He let that sink in before asking, "Has something happened that you aren't telling?" When she didn't answer immediately, he finished. "You are acting a little strange tonight. I can't help but think something is wrong and you won't tell me."
Suddenly Laney felt weak and so tired she just wanted to put her head down and close her eyes. She turned toward him and tried to tell him why she was being so bitchy but she didn't want to do so in a place that they could be interrupted at any moment. "Let's go somewhere and sit for awhile. I would like for you to understand why I'm being the way I am, but it may take longer than just a short talk standing in the middle of the road." He nodded and took her hand leading her toward somewhere he thought would be suitable.
When they stopped walking she realized they were standing almost on top of the wall. She could look out over the countryside and felt like she could reach out and touch the moon. She looked up and saw the moon in its full glory. Until that moment she had not realized it was a full moon. She placed her arms on the top of the wall and rested her chin so she could gaze out across the land to the trees that surrounded this side of the wall. "Lancelot, have you ever felt that everyone was sizing you up only to find you wanting in some way?" Her voice came out in a whisper. At first she thought that maybe he hadn't heard her question but then she felt him put his arm across her shoulders.
"Is that what you truly think? That we are somehow judging you before getting to know who you really are?" His voice was just as quiet as hers when he spoke. She raised her head and turned to look at him. "Aren't you? Ever since you found me, all I've done is answer questions, or try to. Most of the time I don't even know myself what the answers are." She had looked away from him and felt him place his hand under her chin and turning her back to look at him. "Sweet Laney, I'm sorry if we've taxed you with our many queries regarding your past or your home. It's just," he paused then finding the words he continued. "you are so beautiful and it is so odd to find such a beautiful woman alone in a time when it is dangerous for anyone to be alone out here." She looked into his deep brown eyes and saw the moon's reflection.
For some reason she began to cry softly. She leaned into him and placed her head on his chest. He put both arms around her and held her until she could stop. She had cringed when the tears started to come, thinking she would be embarrassed for him to see such an emotional outburst. Instead he began shushing her as if she were a small child. "I'm sorry," she stammered. "I didn't mean to lose control like that."
When she had finished apologizing, she looked up at him again. He took his fingers and wiped the tears from her face. She smiled and suddenly wanted to kiss him. He must have seen the desire to do so in her eyes for he lowered his head until their lips were almost touching. The look in his eyes asked a thousand questions and in answer to them all, she slowly closed her eyes. She felt Lancelot brush his lips across hers once before he planted them gently against hers. She opened her lips partly and felt his kiss deepen. As he kissed her with more passion she raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck. She felt his tongue lightly lick at her lip and opened hers in response. She felt the flicker in her stomach as her desire was taken to a higher level.
His hands began to roam across her back starting at the waist. When they got to her shoulders he moved one back down to the small of her back and with the other he held her head as you would a baby to support its neck. She moved one of her hands to play in his dark curls. She heard him moan when she gently raked across his ear and she gave an answering moan. When he heard her moan he picked her up and held her in his arms, never breaking the kiss they were so engrossed in. She didn't know what broke the kiss finally. It could have been the number of steps leading down from the wall or the fact that Tristan had just walked up. All she knew was that until the moment he interrupted them she had been willing to give herself to the man standing there holding her in his arms.
Tristan looked from Laney to Lancelot and back. She saw him turn around and walk away without so much as 'excuse me' and the thought made her sad. She didn't know why, but his opinion of her meant something and so far all he had seen was her making out with more than one of his friends. This was so unlike who she had been before that she was more than a little disgusted with herself. Why was she acting the whore when she knew that she had only come close once, well twice counting this time. All she had done was share a couple of kisses. No one had touched her anywhere inappropriately, then remembering Lancelot's kiss, she had to amend her thoughts to include, 'not that she would have stopped him if he'd tried.' Lancelot was watching her when she looked back at him. After a moment of looking at her, he gently let her down to stand on her own.
"I think we should go to bed now. It has been a long day and I don't want to keep you up." He then leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Come, I'll lead you back to your room and then I'm going to retire as well." They began walking quietly side by side down the steps from the wall. About half way down, she felt him put his arm around her shoulder and pull her a little closer. For some reason it made her feel better to know that the interruption hadn't caused a riff between them. She snuggled into his side and walked silently back through the fort.