Disclaimer: …Still don't own FFCC… Yet. –winku-

Yes.. I'll admit. Maybe I do have a bit of a 'sick and twisted' mind, but that just makes it all more fun, riiiight? D

Anyways. On with it!

Warnings: Shonen-ai.

Thankyou's:

AnimeFan-Artemis- -dances with you- xD

Iron Reaver- Good to hear you like it!

The Full Metal Alchemist- Yeah.. Sorry about that.. ;

Anyways. I'm running out of ideas… Help me! --

Chapter 3: Abilene

I think my worrying for Shu actually caused me to get better quicker, despite all the others protests. I just hated it. I didn't want to be stuck in a bed while she was out fending for her life. That just wasn't right. Each day I tried to get myself to sleep, and each day I failed. So I decided to scheme against myself:

I just so happen to leave my weapon in the caravan when I went to fetch some herbs. And I just so happen to forget I had, so there was no way I'd be able to help her if I did run away. And I'd have nothing to do but sleep because I didn't have a way of helping her.

But that just made me worry even more.

Now I was completely defenseless, with no weapon. All alone, for short periods of time. Just a lump on the bed with wide eyes. Now I really couldn't sleep. Not only could I not help Shu, or even the rest of the group, but I couldn't even help myself. What if someone just decided to pick-pocket me today, or some monster escapes to the town? What then? So, in a way, I double-double crossed myself. Brilliant.

But, eventually I did get better. Sort of. I wasn't ready to leave the town, but I could walk pretty well on my own two feet. Before I had to take small steps, and I collapsed a lot, causing wounds to split on my knees. I was clumsy before, quite actually, but not this much. It made me tired, and my legs constantly ached anyways.

But now I was better. Of course, I usually leaned on someone or a wall, but I could walk. It felt weird; Like, I was just being born. Renewed. Learning everything from step one, but with so much more experience. I noticed many things, too. I was alone a lot, so I passed the time drawing and painting with nothing more than cheap paint, which I had to mix myself, and charcoal. The canvas was thick, and remnants of the hood of our wagon, but I wasn't complaining. I found myself drawing birds and flowers, mostly.

I was, in fact, somewhat ashamed of them. They were hideous from my standards, but I did enjoy it. I loved the way, when drawing, I could just feel the lead glide along the paper to form objects. Delicate, like a mother to it's child, I'd stroke it along the bird's frame. The many curves and designed, harshness and softness. Crawling up the pinky side of my hand was a trail of the metallic lead which brushed off from the paper. It would somehow end up dappling my face, but I'm not sure how that happened.

One day, while I was driving my pencil into the paper to create a shadow over the bird's torso, I felt eyes on my back. So I visibly shivered, and turned around. I was standing at the window sill, my hooded eyes grazing over the bird's features. But not any longer. My wide eyes fell on Satoshi, a question on my lips. The bird cocked its head at my actions. He gave me an apologizing look, noting the way my brows were brought together in confusion.

"Satoshi-san?" I asked quietly, sure not to scare the bird. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and dug his free hand into his pocket.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to throw you off like that," A chuckle, "I was---"

But I wasn't really paying attention anymore. My hands had already reached for the lead, and my eyes crept back to the bird. Then I was lost in my own little world again, brushing the pencil against the paper, roughly sweeping over and over, some straying to form shaggy lines. I didn't know at the time, but the light was spilling along my frame, giving my silhouette a glow. My eyes fell hooded as they traced along the paper, my fingers, my art.

I heard Satoshi mutter beautiful, but that was it. So I lifted my head, eyes widened and dropped my pencil.

"S-Sorry… What was that?" I stammered.

He looked as if he was torn from a trance, "Err! Your…Your picture! It's beautiful."

I could feel the warmth awaken in my cheeks, tingeing them pink to an embarrassed pose. I giggled. I have to say… Satoshi always did have a way of making me feel special. Without even trying, too. And his words… They always did seem to lifted my spirits, taking away some of the weight from my shoulders. It made… me smile. But Satoshi usually had the affect on everyone.

"Hey… Uh… I noticed. You like to draw flowers a lot… don't you?" And as he asked, I lifted my head, eyes just noting the many sheets of canvas. Some pinned to the wall, others just finding themselves scattered along the floor. He was right… There were more flowers than birds. Some were sprouting, with their long, silky petals kissing out. Some were level, the coiling ivy stems drawn in thick lines.

And then I just got bored, and smoothed the fluffy heads of dandy lions or baby's breath dappled around the roses… Most beautiful flower. But the hardest to draw, I'll add with displeasure. The petals all suppressed together, hugging close around the center. The many layers…

I gave him a sheepish look. "…Yeah…I have a strange obsession with them…"

Satoshi blinked, and sat himself at the edge of the bed. "Is that so? What's you're favourite?"

I stared at him, somewhat baffled. No one… No one had really cared about my interests. Not even did one of their little misfits from their caravan ask. So, hearing those words spread a smile along my lips. And I walked over to the bed, sitting down upon it, the mattress cradling my weight.

"Um… I don't really have a favourite.." I chewed on my bottom lip. "But… If I had to choose just one… I'd say the—"

Just perfect timing, for a gale to gush threw the window. It spun the many pages on the floor, sending them across the room, wavering about. They flew, more or less, about. And I clamped my eyes shut to the strong wind, and gritted my teeth. Waiting as the seconds, which seemed like hours, to pass. It was so ironic, the way it just decided to stampede in. But, I suppose that was just my luck. Someone actually cared… And something bad happens. Things have to even out.

After the wind passed over, I heard Satoshi mumble, "I'm guessing there's going to be a storm soon…"

I winced. I always hated thunderstorms--- They personally scared me half to death. I could easily battle monsters, but face those harsh weather conditions? Not likely. But it wasn't the serene padding of rain on the window sill as they streamed down my face, leaving a trail of diamonds. Nor was it the crack of thunder growling in the dark skies, hurdling to my ears.

It was the lightening. The webs of sparks cascading in the sheet of clouds extending from horizon to horizon. It always scared me to see them. The snake-tongue frame as it clashed into the earth. I always got chills. Ever since I was a small child, it was my greatest nightmare. And even in those nightmares, even if they were revolved around another subject, it would still somehow link to a thunderstorm. That's how scared I was.

Satoshi's dark eyes glanced towards mine.

"What were you saying…?" He asked me, smiling somewhat sheepishly.

I stared at him for a moment, then sighed, offering my own weak smile (fake), then shook my head.

"I-It's…It's nothing.." I muttered.

"You sure?"

I nodded, "Mhmm."

I don't know why I didn't repeat. I guess… I really didn't see the point. I mean, it wasn't really all that important. Not like somehow it could make a difference. Yes, I understand that it seemed somewhat melodramatic of me, but that's just how I was. Neurotic to the bone. So my self esteem wasn't up to par, who cares? No one needs to tell me how to run my life.

Just then, Tomonori walked in, boots clicking on the wooden floor.

"We have a problem."

Satoshi blinked, giving the man a confused/angered look by drawing his brows together, a pout on his lips.

"Oh yeah? And what's that s'pposed to mean?"

Tomonori held out a hand, gesturing us both to follow, and left just as slyly as he came. I could tell, by Satoshi's actions, that he had forgotten about me. That he forgot I couldn't walk. He had stood, and tried to hide the way he took a step obliviously towards the door. But I saw it. And, I wish I hadn't. I tried to believe I hadn't. Because, frankly, it was somewhat depressing.

He held out his hand, getting me out of the bed. And when my feet brushed against the floor, I could feel the muscles tense in his arm as I gripped it. But, I that sort of melancholy was gone, and I was quite content with myself. I really didn't need Satoshi's arm, I could walk on my own!

Sure. I may have been in a hospital gown (Although technically it was more of a silky night gown, slits on the side edges, and the sleeves hung down to my elbows. The collar slung out a bit, almost to the shoulders.), and half of my body was wrapped in bandages. No, they weren't from the illness. It was really from me.

Me trying to get out and walk on my own. Sleek bandages laying around my ankles and feet, only the toes, a few flesh from the toes, and the heels were visible. Once I had tried, in the dark (Yet again proving my genius), and the table, the edges so sharp…Well… As I slid past it slit a huge gash along my lithe tummy. So, as you could imagine, bandages spun around there, too. As well as my forehead, the blonde locks cascading over it.

And that… Was when I just hit a lamp. (xD) My head did, really. I had tripped over something, and I felt this sharp pain on the right side of my forehead. The next thing I knew, vermillion blinded my vision, and I was screaming so loud… I really thought I was dying. I was so afraid. Afraid of my death. This… hurt. Really, really bad. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was… Satoshi. It's amazing, really. How much he's really been there. I mean, he always was. But this… This was different.

And I began to think about all the times he really had been there. He was more than just someone in the caravan that cared for me. He was… My brother. My therapist. My friend… No. My best friend. Well, my only friend. So I guess you could label him my best friend. I wonder, Satoshi, what would you think of that? If I called you my best friend? If I told everyone you were… Would you care? And I guess because I'm too shy… That's all I can do: Wonder.

I smiled up to him, a tinge of pink on my cheeks.

"I-I'm good… I… I think I can walk… n-now…."

He stared for a moment, then smiled his own reassuring smile. "Oh yeah? Well, I'll be here… If you fall."

And I felt my heart flutter. Satoshi… You have no idea what meaning you gave me with those words. And I'll tell you, it wasn't what you originally thought it to be.

If you fall.

X X

I was breathing pretty harshly when I finally got down the corridor. Enough, you see, to latch back onto Satoshi. Both to his relief… And mine. I found Tominori with his arms folded neatly across his chest, leaning just slightly against the wall.

"Tomonori-san…" I said, rather huskily and out of breath.

"What did you want? It better be good for dragging us both down here." Satoshi remarked. I had loosened my grip at his arm, and so he dug both of his hands deep into his pockets. Now that we were staying here for a while, we dressed rather casualty. And I mean… The Selkie's clothes were fairly plain: A thin white cotton shirt, with the sleeves, which were a cobalt blue, just to his wrists. And light khaki pants hugging his legs slightly. He let his platinum bangs fall tapered around his face.

I have to say, I loved his hair. 'Twas almost too perfect. And he had it yanked back into a loose tail, falling just to his back. And it looked so downy, almost like I wanted to run my fingers through it. But I couldn't. If I did, I'd end up embarrassing myself. What would I say? "You're hair looks so pretty… Too hard to resist!" No. That wouldn't work. I'd be… Ill at ease.

And Tomonori… He wasn't different. A collared shirt, striped red and white, and a pair of loose fitting slacks. But he didn't rid that mask… Almost as if it didn't just hide his face, but his whole presence. I probably should have gotten one. That way, no one could tell if I'm sad, and I could be sad all the time. See, I don't like crying in front of people. I don't want them to feel sorry for me. Pity is my most hated emotion.

I could be sad…All the time…

But again, I was already labeled a "traitor" and a "fake." There would be no way I'd get handed one. I had gotten used to it by now; That these dreams would just stay dreams. Mere remnants in my thoughts, forgotten and never brought to words. It was just how my life went.

"It has to do with money."

I cocked my head to the side. "But I thought… That the inn keeper said I could stay until I was well again."

"Not money for here… But for regular supplies. I thought Shuu would be back by now, considering she took most of our gill."

Satoshi sighed. "Go figure."

"Does that mean we need to get jobs here?" I asked, staring at him hard.

"Until she returns… Yes."

"And us. Not you." He patted my head, and smiled. But that wasn't good enough.

"No!" I tore away. "I'm tired of being useless. I'm going to get a job! I'm going to help! And you… You can't stop me!" I leaned against the wall, staring at them with hard eyes. Like an animal caught in a trap, ready to run at any given notice.

Tomonori shrugged. "Guess we can't then."

Satoshi growled lightly, and a few inaudible protests fell from his lips. But I ignored them, and, apparently, so did Tomonori. But he always ignored Satoshi anyway.

He, Tomonori, seemed stuck on something in his mind.

"There was a job the inn keeper had managed to offer…"

"What is it?" Both Satoshi and I spoke at the same time.

"…I highly doubt you're up for the challenge." Tomonori defended.

"Oh, come off it, man. Give it a shot." Satoshi said, grinning.

"C'mon!" I pleaded.

He sighed. "Fine fine. It's an… Inn Maid."

Both Satoshi and I gaped.

"Inn... Maid!"

"But we're guys! Don't Inn Maids have to wear… Y'know… Those frilly aprons and what-not?" Satoshi asked, completely baffled. And what… What was that? A blush!

He nodded, "I told you guys that you wouldn't be up for it. But it's really… Not for you Satoshi. It's for… Jin Lee."

I blinked, pointing myself in the chest. "M-Me?"

Satoshi sent Tomonori a glare, "You jest."

The Yuke shook his head solemnly. "I wish. But it's the only non-labor job around the town at the time. You said you wanted to help. But… I'm afraid this is the only way how."

I stared at him for a moment. I did want to help… But am I willing to risk this? I may have a feminine frame, but that's just too bizarre! I thought for a moment, averting deeply into Tomonori's and Satoshi's waiting eyes. I couldn't decide… Do I not dress up and save the scrap of pride I had left? (Minus the "lamp" incident.)

Or do I suck it up and earn the group money? Certainly Tomonori and Satoshi could mange the money all on their own. But one of the main reasons we were still here was because of my stubbornness. I didn't want to feel… Like everything was still my fault. The whole reason I joined the caravan was so that I wasn't so useless. No matter how much "Mother" begged, I would go.

Oh Shuu… What would you do at a time like this?

"Well, Jin-chan? What's your choice?" Satoshi finally spoke up.

I sighed… And nodded. "Yeah. I'll do it."

Tomonori gave me a concerned look, "Are you sure? You know you don't have to."

"Yes."

And, too top of my embarrassment, Satoshi grinned wider, pinching my cheeks.

"Better get you all dolled up!"

And that's it! Please reply!