Disclaimer: FFCC is not mine. If it was, it wouldn't be this popular. And I'd be the only one writing. --;

Warnings: S-ai, which stands for Shounen-ai, which is just a fancy-pants word for gay love. Don't like it? Well, go find some sappy romance about normal human affections. Bah! I banish thee! You and your… Normal human-nature.

Chapter four: Spring Beauty.

I've been disturbed.

So much, in fact, that each time the word 'maid' just makes my stomache coil at the thought.

And no matter how many times I stare at my reflection, I just can't adjust. The thick black dress. And my smooth legs, buried in stockings. Not to mention those black bands high on my thighs. The frilled edged apron hugged tightly to my figure, just layering the black dress, tied in a thick bow at my backside.

My hands, consumed in those silk white gloves, as well as my feet forced into tiny, glossy black shoes. And I do think that the black band clung to my neck and the frilly headdress in my hair was a bit much, and not quite needed. But I wasn't going to argue.

The clothes, they were tight. I could feel them adhere to my figure. And the tall stockings? Boy, were those uncomfortable. For obvious reasons. The sleeves were puffy about my shoulders, and about the edges of the apron was a table-cloth pattern. The black dress, I hated the way it brought out the shade around my eyes.

Which made my neon eyes stands out a bit.

I sighed, slipping my shoes on finally and buckling them. Funny, they looked like tap-dance shoes…

But that didn't remain in my thoughts for long, as when I stepped out into the corridor of the hallway, I earned gasps from both Satoshi and Tomonori. Rosebushes bloomed on my cheeks, and I averted my hooded eyes elsewhere.

"Jin Lee.." I heard Satoshi gape.

"Don't you dare say a word."

But Satoshi pouted, hanging his hands on his hips. "What if it was a compliment, eh, love?"

I looked back at him, ocean eyes wide in disbelief. "You're kidding! I look like a girl!"

His cocky grin returned, "Exactly. And you make a pretty cute girl. Not that you weren't cute as a boy… Cross-dressing is really your thing, isn't it?"

Satoshi earned a quick slap over the back of the head from Tominori, who sighed, and shrugged his shoulders. And I tried desperately to hide my blush.

"For the last time, are you quite certain you can do this?"

I bit my lip, neon eyes gazing up at him. Then I nodded, "Yes. I need to help out somehow…" But as I took a step forward, I felt a sudden tinge of pain in my left leg, and collapsed lightly…

…Had Satoshi not grabbed my arm tightly. I panted somewhat hard, and when I spoke, I was out of breath. I realized that convincing them again that I was fine probably wasn't going to work, but I tried anyways, the words falling softly from my lips. Tominori sighed and muttered something about me being 'naïve' and Satoshi just shook his head.

"You're going to kill yourself if you're not careful. Thanks to you, I'm going to be paranoid thinking about you. Wondering if you're okay…"

A smile tugged on the corner of my lips as Satoshi's words lofted into my ears, staining my mind. I couldn't help but think about my thoughts for the other boy more centered now. Did I really just want him as a friend..? Of course, it wasn't a matter of my choosing. Beggars can't be choosers. But, I would like it if we were more than that.

Along the floor my broom swept, a light dust tossed from side to side. I've never really been a big fan of cleaning—the was I saw it, why clean something that will eventually get dirty again? Which was quite logical, if I do say so myself. However, I eventually learned that it wasn't just about getting the room clean, but more about appearance. I suppose most people would like to be referred to as neat and tidy than a slob. But that thought, about appearance, doesn't really fit with neat-freaks. Because they're normally clean…

Gah! My head screamed, and I shook my head of those thoughts. I'm just confusing myself!

As I leaned back against the wall, my head tilted back and my eyes caste over the ceiling. Quite lovely, with the rustling flames hidden behind a cup-shaped plate of foggy glass, a' hugging the upper limit , shedding luminous waves. It must have been at least a few hours. So far I had done the corridor, lobby, kitchen, and dining area spotless. Which leaves…

…Over half of the inn left.

I sighed in despair—perhaps a bit over exaggerated. I don't think I could take this day after day. And after this, no doubt I'll be emotionally scarred from cleaning supplies. I brushed a few blonde locks from my eyes.

"Please, Shu.." I whispered softly under my breath. "Hurry back."

"Dude looks like a lady!"

I visibly twitched, clutching onto the firm broom handle with a tight grip, bleaching my knuckles. My teeth gnashed, and my eyes clamped closed with anger. I felt a rough pat on my back, slightly pushing me off balance. I glared at his cocky grin.

"Satoshi.." I drawled, fairly annoyed and dropping my scorn.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry. It's just so… tempting."

"Is it really? Because I wouldn't have noticed by the last threepeople who yelled that out." I said, resting the broom along the wall and folding my arms across my chest. Maybe it was a bit childish, but oh well.

"Look, I said I was sorry!" He grinned again, bringing his hand up to my forehead to check my temperature, and I looked back at him with wide eyes. "So how're you holdin' up?" He asked, his hand slowly making it's way down my face and cupping my cheek, I shivered, but tried to hide it.

"Are you feeling okay? Feel faint or anything lately?"

I tried to keep my sanity. "No, I feel much better."

But my mind had finally fallen numb. Only Satoshi's soft fingers along my check I could process. Quite frankly, I had never felt this way with anyone before. Butterflies rolled in my stomach as his fingers trailed down my jaw line, pinning my lightly against the wall. My eyes fluttered closed, succumbed to the desire dawning on my mind and completely taking over. My mind was spinning when he tilted my head up. Amazing, how ust his touch crippled me so—bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

And judging by Satoshi's movements, I wasn't the only one.

I could feel the other boy's hot, moist breath spread along my orifice (1). The warmth of his body reached along me. That is, until his lips dipped into mind, sending shockwaves down my spine. This… This was remarkable beyond words. The sensation as he gently crushed his lips to mine was just… the most unbelievable feeling. A true spark of passion just igniting deep within my heart… I never wanted it to end. He didn't push me too much into it, and I soon latched off his crimson lips, cheeks flushed and breathing somewhat harshly, caught up in the moment.

As he peeked his emerald eyes open, I noticed they were coated in lust—lust for me. Then a thought was brought to mind; Satoshi… Satoshi was… My first. My first kiss. I brought my fingers to my lips, completely baffled by what had happened. God, I was glad it was with him. It was almost incredible, how I was craving something that I didn't know I really wanted until now.

"Jin..?" Satoshi called softly, and my eyes locked with his. "I've been… meaning to tell you for a while. But I guess I just didn't have the courage. I'm so glad… you didn't reject me."

I smiled faintly. "..Me too."

Satoshi seemed relieved as he leaned over, his arms snaking around my waist and bringing me to a warm embrace. My eyes fell hooded. And al was silent. Lost in the quiet waves of reborn hearts, relief… The silence thickly threaded beneath us, not a need for words. I snuggled deeply into him, not able to help the blissful smile. I don't ever remember being this happy before. Not ever. I don't even remember smiling like this before. Nothing was ever this important--- I was never this important.

"How did I know you two would hook up? I always knew you had a crush on him, Sato-chan."

My eyes widened.

"That voice… it's…"

"Shu-chan!" Satoshi finished. The woman grinned. "The one and only."

I was even happier now. There she was, barley standing there a few feet away. I was a bit flustered, a light tinge of pink dappling my cheeks by the position I was in. (That's what I get for having a make-out session in the middle of a hallway.) But my joy over came that. I wriggled free of Satoshi's grasp, and stumbled briskly to her, smiling widely. I embraced her, taking in her warmth, breathing in her scent, and fingering the delicate fabric of her armor.

She seemed to have put a fight, the dirt smudged along her features. A few scratched were crusted with dried blood, and soon I heard Satoshi step near with delight in his eyes as he dug his hands deeply into his pockets.

"H…How long have you been standing there?" He asked. Shu's grin widened.

"Long enough to know I'll be seeing you two together for a while."

Satoshi tried to hide the blush on his cheeks.

The Lility pushed my back lightly, eyes trailing down. Then I averted my eyes else where, just realizing why she made such a face by staring at me.

"Just what are you wearing, dear?"

"You didn't know?" Satoshi piped in, "Jin's a crossdresser."

I rolled my eyes as she laughed, "It's the only job I can do in my state. You took all out money!"

"State you're in.." She quirked a brow, then it dawned on her. "Oh, that's right! You fainted! How are you fairing?"

I smiled lightly. "I'm alright, really. But now I feel even better because you're home! That means I don't have to work in this anymore!"

Shu giggled. "I think Satoshi wants to change that. Unless he wants you to get so excited that you undress right in front of him…"

"Shu!" Both Satoshi and I barked, faces flushed.

"W…Why don't you go say 'Hi' to Tomonori-san? I am sure he misses you very much." I said, pushing her lightly out the door, and then closing it. But I didn't have a moment of peace, because I soon felt Satoshi behind me, arms hung around my waist. But to be honest, it was peace in my mind.

I sighed, resting the neatly folded outfit on the counter-top.

"Thank you." I whispered softly, turning away. My mind cheered. Finally, I didn't have to wear that. And with our chalice full, we could go home. But, I wonder.. would things be different? No doubt Satoshi and I would be… more friendly. But it was nice, knowing I would have someone there when the Yukes came to chase me down, or the Clavets threw rocks at me. Ever since I had been living on my own, things have become quite lonely.

I could cry for hours now. But maybe Satoshi could visit? I would diffidently like that. Maybe things could change for me. Maybe… maybe I could finally be happy forever, For once… in my life, at least.

"Oh, Jin." I heard Shu call as I began climbing up the stairs. "I met someone while I was out. He said he knew you."

My brows raised, than furrowed. Know me? Anyone who would have known me wouldn't want to see me. I wasn't exactly the type of person someone wanted to see. But I nodded, nonetheless, and quickly glided up the steps. I had returned to my original clothing—the hospital gown. And when I turned the corner, I was faced with a fellow Clavet.

I was lightly embarrassed knowing he was probably disgusted with me already, even if he didn't know me. I always had that sort of way of thinking. One of those idiosyncrasies. He looked other than me, a few years maybe. Blonde locks cascaded down, framing his face and narrow emerald eyes. His frame was somewhat muscular, maybe just as much as Satoshi. A sword at his hip, a shield swung over his shoulder.

I looked away, disgraced with myself. I didn't even have a sword. I didn't deserve his company.

"Hello… sir." I said, a brisk bow falling.

"Mourir."

I blinked, "I'm sorry… What was tha—"

"Mourir. That's my name. Drop the stir, it's annoying."

I nodded. "Ah.. Yes.. Sorry.. Um.. Mourir. I'm Jin Lee."

"I know."

Again, confusing. "W-What?"

He seemed flustered, and waved his hand. "I…I-I uh.. I knew your.. your parents!"

"You mean the Yukish family?" I said, head cocked to the side.

"Yuke? Boy, you're not a Yuke! You're a clavet." I visibly winced, "So you're Clavet family, duh!"

My eyes lid up, and I stood on my toes, staring him in shock.

"You knew my parents?"

He hung a hand on his hip, "Yeah, don't you?" That hit me hard, burning my heart into flickering ashes, and causing breath to dwell in my throat. I shook my head slowly…

"…So she did do it. I always knew she…" His voice trailed off. But I wanted to know. This was my family, right? I should know!

"She? Who? My Mother? Sister..?" And I guess my voice reminded him that I was standing there, because his head snapped towards me.

"Please," I begged. "Tell me about my family."

He smiled lightly, patting my shoulder.

"Sorry, love. It wouldn't be my place."

And he slowly walked away, disappearing down the hall, hands dug into his pockets. And I was speechless. Not his place? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Only when he was completely gone did I realize… that my last chance, my last hope of knowing who I could have been just slipped away. I sighed. A feeling of great depression and loss engulfed my body. Things never turned out right for me. I heard my name being called, but I didn't have the energy to face anyone.

Tears were awakening in my eyes, and I ran away from the voice. I sped down the all, trying to loose the footsteps I heard so close behind. Just as quickly as I opened the door, I slammed it shut. I slid down the wood, shoulders trembling, sobbing. Why was I even crying at all? This was so stupid! I buried my eyes in my hands, hiding them from the world.

"Jin? Jin Lee, are you okay? Please don't cry Jin…" It was Satoshi. O could tell even through the hurt in his voice. But I didn't want to-- I couldn't face him now.

"…G-Go A...Away..." it wasn't demanding or anything. Heck, it was worse than a whimper. But I needed to be alone. That was best for me now.

I had sat there for hours, not moving and I wasn't hungry—just extremely tired. Memories began rushing back--- the pain as a child… Wandering around in the caravan only suppressed them, bottling them away. My fingers clutched deeply into my black locks, as my eyes clamped closed, my legs brought up close. I could still feel the hard rocks tare into my supple flesh, and the cold, glaring eyes on my back as I walked through towns. My chest was aching, the depression pouring out.

"You little tramp! Go away!" Slap.

My eyes were burning with tears.

"Why don't you just leave? Nobody likes you!" Glare.

I bit my lip, chocking on the sadness rushing through.

"Leave me alone! I don't want to play freak with you!" Shove.

I couldn't take it anymore—it was just too much to handle. Trying to stand on my numb legs, the locked knees wobbly ever so slightly. I gently fingers the door handle, trying to brush the evidence of tears from my eyes. As I slowly turned the knob letting the crack of light seep to the hallway, I saw Satoshi's peaceful, sleeping figure. I opened the door further, his body which was sprawled out along the floor becoming engulfed in the light.

I smiled lightly through the tears, a warmth growing in my heart. He waited for me…

I got to my knees and crawled lazily along the floor, nearer to Satoshi. It was then… I needed that warmth. I thrived off it. I could no longer support myself emotionally—Even if they began with an optimistic view, it was all end in failure. This… This is what was keeping my alive. Depression had long since seduced me, and this was the barrier from me and suicide. My life support, hidden thickly with a web of dark past.

I snuggled deeply into his arms, back pressing against his chest as I tried to synch our breaths—The heartbeat of but one. And I fell into a darkness, a sleep of which I would slowly emerge.

.

Fun, ain't it? You know you want to reply.