Disclaimer: Characters and situations (especially the one memory) belong to JKRowling. I claim no ownership of them.

Author's Notes: I live. I die. I live again.

"My demon, Sirius…" Regulus glanced down at me, offering a hand up. "My demon…I'm so sorry, Sirius. I really am…I don't…" Regulus broke off, still and silent. A forlorn look fell across his face, the eyes clouding over with a broken look.

James watched Regulus a moment, before reaching a hand between them to squeeze the other man's shoulder. Regulus didn't respond…he just faded.

Mouth gaping in wonder, I was caught by surprise with James finally talked aloud. "He feels guilty whenever his 'demon' finds one of us. He can't help it, but he blames himself for it."

"He disappeared…"

"Only a little longer," which seemed directed only towards himself. "Sirius, I know you better than this. Stop being an idiot and REALISE!"

"You know the term idiot has very little affect on me anymore, Prongs…" I mumble. It wasn't the fact he'd referred to me as an idiot that made me feel guilty; guilty that I should know what was going on and all other such nonsense.

"James…" a familiar feminine voice whispered down the corridor. The even more familiar figure of Lily Evans stepped into view. Her hair was, as always, as bright as flames and eyes as crystalline as emeralds. "Sirius!" she exclaimed softly as she saw me. And to James, "Already?"

James nodded, looking a bit defeated.

"But Harry!" Lily whimpered softly.

"Harry…" I found myself mouthing the name while a soft conversation started between Lily and James.

"What- live with you?" Harry said. "Leave the Dursleys?"

"Of course, I thought you wouldn't want to," Sirius said quickly. "I understand, I just thought I'd-"

"Are you insane?" Harry asked, his voice cracking. Sirius felt a smile creep up on his lips, one he hadn't beheld in twelve years. Harry was talking too quickly for Sirius to keep up, but he got the general idea and went with it.

"I know who Harry is!" I announced hoarsely. "I know him. My godson…Godric…Godric. I left him. I left him alone!" I don't know why this moves me to tears. I don't know why I abandoned him. I just know I did. I don't think it was intentional though.

Lily is weeping, she never could cry. Her graceful fingers wipe away gently flowing tears, as she turns to embrace me. Holding me tightly, she whispers, "Oh Sirius. Come back to us, completely. My baby boy needs all of us to survive."

I want to hate her. I always have, but have never been able to. She stole my best friend. And she became the knot that tied our raggle-taggle family together. "Lily, oh, Lily…Tell me. Please tell me…" I cry into her shoulder, and she just holds me and hums.

"I can't tell you anything, Sirius, I'm sorry."

"A-and…they just don't care! They only see themselves. Blessed Rowena, Remus, can't they see they have fucking friends they're ignoring."

"I didn't know fucking was involved, Sirius," Remus quips back at me.

I pretend not to hear. "All they do all day is flounce around and giggle and act like a couple of love-sick puppies. It's positively disturbing!"

"Not that they could be in love or anything," Remus interrupts, sarcasm heavy in his words.

"I mean what about us…?" I sighed miserably, flopping beside Remus.

"Yes," Remus said quietly, golden eyes peering at me while he slid his hand into mine. "What about us?"

The blurred form of Remus is standing beside me when I return to myself. Lily and James are conversing as James had been with Regulus. "Remus…" I whisper.

Blurred Remus smiles, but is silent.

"I miss you."

Blurred Remus dissipates.

"Prongs, you ass. You couldn't just tell me, could you?" I grumble, good-naturedly, as I turn to face the couple. "All I want is a bit of bloody information about what in the name of all things magic is going on, and you lead me on a mental scavenger hunt."

James stares a moment, confused.

"I wish…" I say quietly, as I lean against the sill of a window. "I wish you'd just told me I was dead."

Author's Notes: DunDunDun! Haha. Um. There will be more. Then I'll finish Blue's Moony. Then I've got a Regulus Story coming up. Whee-hoo:love to all still loyal: