A Man's Worth
Chapter 8
A/N: Part Eight of the series. Another apology for the delay in updates.
WARNING: This is not a happy fic. For those of you expecting something joyous, stay away from this story. You've been warned.
DISCLAIMER: You all know this belongs to Joss Whedon and the parties involved in airing this show.
FEEDBACK: As you wish ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------
Good News
"He said what?!" Buffy did not answer her sister. She just kept packing a few things, ready to go to Los Angeles. "You heard what I said." "Uhm, yeah, but I don't hear every day that Angel is going to get his soul permanently." "That, and he said that Spike was there." "Yeah, well, that's where he said he'd go." Buffy slowly turned around and stared at Dawn's eyes. "You knew where he was all this time? Weren't you asking me about his whereabouts a few days ago?" Dawn fidgeted. "Uhm, yeah, because I hadn't heard from him, but I did tell you where he went in the first place, remember?" "I don't seem to remember you telling me that." Dawn shook her head. "I did tell you. And even if I didn't, you wouldn't have done a thing about it." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Please. Everybody knows Spike loves you and you treat him like dirt." "Dawnie, Spike can't love, he doesn't have any soul." Dawn sighed and stepped closer to her sister. "You may be older. You may have more experience than I do. You might know so much more things that I do. But there is one thing I don't have to know, because I can feel it. He loves you. Wether you want it or not." The former key walked out of her sister's bedroom, leaving a very confused slayer behind to think. ------------------------------------
"Is this the adress? Is this even handwritin'?" "Of course it is, just because you can't read it doesn't mean I have bad handwriting!" Spike chuckled and placed away the piece of paper. "You're bein' awfully supportive of this." He said. "I still don't believe you're doing this out of the pureness of your heart, but I don't want anything to happen to Angel." Spike sighed and turned his back on Cordelia. "You don't trust me." "How could I? My memories of you consist of you terrorizing us and being evil. Besides, up there, I saw everything that you did. You are a monster." Spike chuckled. "Amusin'. But if you saw what I did, surely you must 'ave seen what ol' Angelus did." Cordelia fell silent at the words. A soft sob escaped her lips. "Yes. I saw. But most importantly, I felt. I felt what he felt all those years." Spike frowned. "What was that?" Cordelia sniffed and hugged herself. "Joy. He liked doing what he did." "And I? What did I feel?" Cordelia then stared into Spike's eyes. "Nothing." -------------------------------------
"How are you feeling, man?" Angel paced around, with a grin in his face. "I can't explain it. It's something I've been waiting for a hundred years." Gunn smiled and patted the vampire's back. "It's great. I can't say I get it, but I'm glad." Both remained silent for a while, until the souled vampire spoke at last. "What is it?" "Nothing. I'm cool." "I know you. What?" Gunn cleared his throat and grabbed his head. "Look, man, I respect you. Totally. But, there are some loose ends in here." Angel stopped pacing and stared at his friend. "Loose ends?" "Y'know." "Buffy." "Aaaand...?" "Spike." "Cordelia. And what is it with Billy Idol there?" "Don't know. What about Buffy and Cordelia?" Gunn chuckled. "You're over two hundred and you don't get what I'm telling you? Man, you're lost." Angel ran his hands through his hair and chuckled. "I can't think straight. The news Cordy gave me were such good news. It's been a while since I've been this..." "Happy?" A wicked smile crossed Angel's features. "You could say that." --------------------------------------------
You can't feel a thing.
Words that wouldn't mean so much to anyone who really didn't feel a thing.
Spike was not one of those. He ran the thought through his mind. A higher being had witnessed his whole existence and had said that he didn't feel anything. Angelus had felt joy. A basic emotion. Something that explained what he was and what he did. The bastard enjoyed causing pain. The vampire had been great.
And Spike?
What did that make him? He remembered being happy about being a vampire, but he also remembered enjoying feeding and murdering.
On a second thought, he preferred a good brawl instead of just feeding, and he always thought that came from being a vampire.
Perhaps that came from his repressed persona of William. Maybe the joy he felt was a specified response to his actions as a brutal murderer. Maybe what he felt was only a delussion.
Did that mean that what he felt for Buffy was an obsession? That he didn't love her at all? That she was right?
That he was nothing and he couldn't feel a thing?
He had killed. He had destroyed. He had reveled in power and he had felt independence. He had been a respected and feared vampire.
He'd been complete.
Now he just felt empty.
Spike changed into game face and bit his forearm as hard as he could.
Maybe physical pain could distract him. --------------------------------------------------
Buffy stepped out of the bus and inhaled the air of a typical L.A. night. It wasn't as clean as it was in Sunnydale, but it brought memories to her. After all, she had grown up in there and she always felt at home when she returned.
However, her mind soon brought her back to the task at hand. Angel was about to have his soul anchored and Spike was with him.
Those two together were always trouble.
And why was Spike in L.A.? Didn't he know that the moment Angel saw him he'd be dust? Tha last time the two vampires were together in the same room, Spike had an iron bar inside Angel's body. Not a good scenario at the time.
Besides, Angel had been getting moodier in the past months. Should a fight ensue, Spike's chances of survival would decrease dramatically.
On second thought, Spike had been playing with Angel last time. Maybe if they fought with all they got they'd kill each other.
Not good. Not good at all.
She didn't want Angel to die. --------------------------------------------------
Cordelia came down the stairs from Spike's room. She wasn't feeling all that well and she liked to think that it was because she still wasn't used to this plane of existance.
After a few months of being, basically, an angel, she wasn't used to being human again. But there was something else bothering her on a fundamental level.
Spike's eyes.
She had seen the way he had lowered his head when she had said that he felt nothing, implying it was because he was a vampire. She felt even worse when his eyes met hers and she saw something similar to sadness there. He had muttered something and she felt the need to leave the room.
Cordelia shook her head and dismissed shuch thoughts. She was sure of what she had felt. What if she had been so immersed in Angelus' life that she barely paid attention to Spike?
She smiled when she saw Angel standing in the lobby. -----------------------------------------------
Angel returned the smile he saw in Cordelia's face. He was trying to get back the feeling that had been bursting through his chest when he had tried to reach Cordelia on the beach all those months ago.
When he saw her, he couldn't deny the strong attraction that was between the two of them. She was beautiful in every sense. She had grown, she had matured, and she was certainly a champion herself. She was a higher being.
He walked to her, approaching her and smiling even wider when he heard her heartbeat flutter and increase its pace, just because he was near her.
Cordelia, for her part, knew of her body's reaction to Angel's nearness. She was bothered by it but the thought of it was fastly fading, instead focusing on how to talk and not appear as a nervous cheerleader.
"Angel..." She almost croaked. Angel smiled at her and placed one hand on her cheek.
"How are you?" He asked. She smiled some more and shrugged. "Fine, but I think it's getting better." "I know. Can you believe it?" "No. Not yet. This is what I've always wanted." "Is it?" Cordelia asked, trying to see what was between them. "Most of it. I can't have a semblance of a normal life like this." Cordelia smiled. "Yeah, it was about time." "Yes. The powers have been slow, but they finally remembered me." Cordelia flinched and Angel noticed it. "Something wrong?" He asked. Cordelia looked around and grasped her hands together. "Look, Angel. There might be some things that are not clear about this... prophecy." "What do you mean?" Angel said, narrowing his eyes and taking one step back. "There are some factors that might affect the outcome of this development." "What factors?" Cordelia's mind went spinning. She had to tell him about Spike's plans. She was still not fully convinced that the soulless vampire's idea was honest at all.
But the look on Angel's eyes.
It seemed that vampire's eyes were affecting her more these days.
"The thing is this..."
She couldn't finish because the front door of the Hyperion was suddenly opened, revealing a girl standing there.
Both Angel and Cordelia turned around and saw who it was. They said the name at the same time.
"Buffy." ------------------------------------------------------
Spike felt the exact moment she arrived.
He frowned and it took him a few seconds to realize that as soon as Angel had received news of his soul he'd call Buffy immediately.
What Spike didn't expect was her coming so fast. -----------------------------------------------------
Angel smile grew even more when he saw Buffy. He forgot what he had thought about Cordelia and remembered that the small blond in front of him was the love of his life.
He turned his back on Cordelia and began walking towards Buffy. Their eyes met and identical smiles appeared on their faces.
"Is it true?" Buffy asked. Angel nodded. "How?" "The Powers That Be are rewarding me. The prophecy is becoming true." Angel stopped until he was mere inches away from Buffy and placed his hand on her face, an exact replica of the movement he had shared with Cordelia moments ago.
"Do you know what this means?" He asked. Buffy only nodded.
Their lips met and neither heard Cordelia's sharp intake of breath and the estranged sob that erupted from her mouth.
And neither saw the lonely vampire standing outside in the cold night, watching his hopes and dreams die.
End of Chapter.
A/N: Part Eight of the series. Another apology for the delay in updates.
WARNING: This is not a happy fic. For those of you expecting something joyous, stay away from this story. You've been warned.
DISCLAIMER: You all know this belongs to Joss Whedon and the parties involved in airing this show.
FEEDBACK: As you wish ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------
Good News
"He said what?!" Buffy did not answer her sister. She just kept packing a few things, ready to go to Los Angeles. "You heard what I said." "Uhm, yeah, but I don't hear every day that Angel is going to get his soul permanently." "That, and he said that Spike was there." "Yeah, well, that's where he said he'd go." Buffy slowly turned around and stared at Dawn's eyes. "You knew where he was all this time? Weren't you asking me about his whereabouts a few days ago?" Dawn fidgeted. "Uhm, yeah, because I hadn't heard from him, but I did tell you where he went in the first place, remember?" "I don't seem to remember you telling me that." Dawn shook her head. "I did tell you. And even if I didn't, you wouldn't have done a thing about it." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Please. Everybody knows Spike loves you and you treat him like dirt." "Dawnie, Spike can't love, he doesn't have any soul." Dawn sighed and stepped closer to her sister. "You may be older. You may have more experience than I do. You might know so much more things that I do. But there is one thing I don't have to know, because I can feel it. He loves you. Wether you want it or not." The former key walked out of her sister's bedroom, leaving a very confused slayer behind to think. ------------------------------------
"Is this the adress? Is this even handwritin'?" "Of course it is, just because you can't read it doesn't mean I have bad handwriting!" Spike chuckled and placed away the piece of paper. "You're bein' awfully supportive of this." He said. "I still don't believe you're doing this out of the pureness of your heart, but I don't want anything to happen to Angel." Spike sighed and turned his back on Cordelia. "You don't trust me." "How could I? My memories of you consist of you terrorizing us and being evil. Besides, up there, I saw everything that you did. You are a monster." Spike chuckled. "Amusin'. But if you saw what I did, surely you must 'ave seen what ol' Angelus did." Cordelia fell silent at the words. A soft sob escaped her lips. "Yes. I saw. But most importantly, I felt. I felt what he felt all those years." Spike frowned. "What was that?" Cordelia sniffed and hugged herself. "Joy. He liked doing what he did." "And I? What did I feel?" Cordelia then stared into Spike's eyes. "Nothing." -------------------------------------
"How are you feeling, man?" Angel paced around, with a grin in his face. "I can't explain it. It's something I've been waiting for a hundred years." Gunn smiled and patted the vampire's back. "It's great. I can't say I get it, but I'm glad." Both remained silent for a while, until the souled vampire spoke at last. "What is it?" "Nothing. I'm cool." "I know you. What?" Gunn cleared his throat and grabbed his head. "Look, man, I respect you. Totally. But, there are some loose ends in here." Angel stopped pacing and stared at his friend. "Loose ends?" "Y'know." "Buffy." "Aaaand...?" "Spike." "Cordelia. And what is it with Billy Idol there?" "Don't know. What about Buffy and Cordelia?" Gunn chuckled. "You're over two hundred and you don't get what I'm telling you? Man, you're lost." Angel ran his hands through his hair and chuckled. "I can't think straight. The news Cordy gave me were such good news. It's been a while since I've been this..." "Happy?" A wicked smile crossed Angel's features. "You could say that." --------------------------------------------
You can't feel a thing.
Words that wouldn't mean so much to anyone who really didn't feel a thing.
Spike was not one of those. He ran the thought through his mind. A higher being had witnessed his whole existence and had said that he didn't feel anything. Angelus had felt joy. A basic emotion. Something that explained what he was and what he did. The bastard enjoyed causing pain. The vampire had been great.
And Spike?
What did that make him? He remembered being happy about being a vampire, but he also remembered enjoying feeding and murdering.
On a second thought, he preferred a good brawl instead of just feeding, and he always thought that came from being a vampire.
Perhaps that came from his repressed persona of William. Maybe the joy he felt was a specified response to his actions as a brutal murderer. Maybe what he felt was only a delussion.
Did that mean that what he felt for Buffy was an obsession? That he didn't love her at all? That she was right?
That he was nothing and he couldn't feel a thing?
He had killed. He had destroyed. He had reveled in power and he had felt independence. He had been a respected and feared vampire.
He'd been complete.
Now he just felt empty.
Spike changed into game face and bit his forearm as hard as he could.
Maybe physical pain could distract him. --------------------------------------------------
Buffy stepped out of the bus and inhaled the air of a typical L.A. night. It wasn't as clean as it was in Sunnydale, but it brought memories to her. After all, she had grown up in there and she always felt at home when she returned.
However, her mind soon brought her back to the task at hand. Angel was about to have his soul anchored and Spike was with him.
Those two together were always trouble.
And why was Spike in L.A.? Didn't he know that the moment Angel saw him he'd be dust? Tha last time the two vampires were together in the same room, Spike had an iron bar inside Angel's body. Not a good scenario at the time.
Besides, Angel had been getting moodier in the past months. Should a fight ensue, Spike's chances of survival would decrease dramatically.
On second thought, Spike had been playing with Angel last time. Maybe if they fought with all they got they'd kill each other.
Not good. Not good at all.
She didn't want Angel to die. --------------------------------------------------
Cordelia came down the stairs from Spike's room. She wasn't feeling all that well and she liked to think that it was because she still wasn't used to this plane of existance.
After a few months of being, basically, an angel, she wasn't used to being human again. But there was something else bothering her on a fundamental level.
Spike's eyes.
She had seen the way he had lowered his head when she had said that he felt nothing, implying it was because he was a vampire. She felt even worse when his eyes met hers and she saw something similar to sadness there. He had muttered something and she felt the need to leave the room.
Cordelia shook her head and dismissed shuch thoughts. She was sure of what she had felt. What if she had been so immersed in Angelus' life that she barely paid attention to Spike?
She smiled when she saw Angel standing in the lobby. -----------------------------------------------
Angel returned the smile he saw in Cordelia's face. He was trying to get back the feeling that had been bursting through his chest when he had tried to reach Cordelia on the beach all those months ago.
When he saw her, he couldn't deny the strong attraction that was between the two of them. She was beautiful in every sense. She had grown, she had matured, and she was certainly a champion herself. She was a higher being.
He walked to her, approaching her and smiling even wider when he heard her heartbeat flutter and increase its pace, just because he was near her.
Cordelia, for her part, knew of her body's reaction to Angel's nearness. She was bothered by it but the thought of it was fastly fading, instead focusing on how to talk and not appear as a nervous cheerleader.
"Angel..." She almost croaked. Angel smiled at her and placed one hand on her cheek.
"How are you?" He asked. She smiled some more and shrugged. "Fine, but I think it's getting better." "I know. Can you believe it?" "No. Not yet. This is what I've always wanted." "Is it?" Cordelia asked, trying to see what was between them. "Most of it. I can't have a semblance of a normal life like this." Cordelia smiled. "Yeah, it was about time." "Yes. The powers have been slow, but they finally remembered me." Cordelia flinched and Angel noticed it. "Something wrong?" He asked. Cordelia looked around and grasped her hands together. "Look, Angel. There might be some things that are not clear about this... prophecy." "What do you mean?" Angel said, narrowing his eyes and taking one step back. "There are some factors that might affect the outcome of this development." "What factors?" Cordelia's mind went spinning. She had to tell him about Spike's plans. She was still not fully convinced that the soulless vampire's idea was honest at all.
But the look on Angel's eyes.
It seemed that vampire's eyes were affecting her more these days.
"The thing is this..."
She couldn't finish because the front door of the Hyperion was suddenly opened, revealing a girl standing there.
Both Angel and Cordelia turned around and saw who it was. They said the name at the same time.
"Buffy." ------------------------------------------------------
Spike felt the exact moment she arrived.
He frowned and it took him a few seconds to realize that as soon as Angel had received news of his soul he'd call Buffy immediately.
What Spike didn't expect was her coming so fast. -----------------------------------------------------
Angel smile grew even more when he saw Buffy. He forgot what he had thought about Cordelia and remembered that the small blond in front of him was the love of his life.
He turned his back on Cordelia and began walking towards Buffy. Their eyes met and identical smiles appeared on their faces.
"Is it true?" Buffy asked. Angel nodded. "How?" "The Powers That Be are rewarding me. The prophecy is becoming true." Angel stopped until he was mere inches away from Buffy and placed his hand on her face, an exact replica of the movement he had shared with Cordelia moments ago.
"Do you know what this means?" He asked. Buffy only nodded.
Their lips met and neither heard Cordelia's sharp intake of breath and the estranged sob that erupted from her mouth.
And neither saw the lonely vampire standing outside in the cold night, watching his hopes and dreams die.
End of Chapter.