A Man's Worth

Chapter 10

A/N: I'm trying to update as fast as I can. Thanks to those who are still reading this.

WARNING: This is not a happy fic. For those of you expecting something joyous, stay away from this story. You've been warned.

DISCLAIMER: You all know this belongs to Joss Whedon and the parties involved in airing this show.

FEEDBACK: As you wish

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Tenderness

"What?"

"Runnin' back to him as soon as 'e calls, ey? God, what a whore."

Buffy stuttered and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry, but did you just call me a whore?"

"Well, yeah." Spike said, lighting up a cigarette. "The poof goes an' gets 'is soul for ever an' you're on 'im like white on rice. I'd say that qualifies as a ho."

"Take that back. You know it's not like that."

Spike chuckled.

"Oh, an' when he told you, didn't you jump his bones an' kiss 'im?"

Spike tried to hide his hurt as much as he could. It was, after all, the main goal of his plan.

"You saw that?" Buffy asked. Spike stared hard into her eyes.

"Of course. I was there."

"Listen, Spike, it was nothing like it, and even if it were, you don't have anything to say on my personal life."

"Certainly not, slayer. I jus' call 'em as I see 'em."

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I want to believe you. I really do. Please God, forgive me. I don't want to hurt you anymore.

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Buffy flushed even more with anger.

"You can't tell me anything. Why are you being like this?"

Spike shook his head, trying to remain in character.

"I should 'ave known that the moment the poof got his rocks back you'd run back like a bitch in heat. Never pegged you for a begger, luv."

"I'm sorry, what?!"

Buffy uncrossed her arms and walked until she was a mere foot away from Spike.

"Care to repeat that?"

"With pleasure. You ran back to him like a bitch in heat. Guess all it takes for you to split your knees is Angel callin', right?"

Buffy punched Spike in the nose. Hard.

"Shut up."

Spike staggered back, but he did not stop. He laughed, trying to understand why she didn't hit him as hard as she could.

"What's the matter, slayer, losin' strength in your old age? Or has ol' Angelus tired you already?"

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Come on, sweetheart. Lay it on me. I know you are better than this. You are the strongest woman I've ever met.  Don't disappoint me. Please, fight me.

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Buffy swung her feet and kicked him in the jaw. The impact made him flip in the air and crash into a wall.

"That strong enough for you?"

Blood oozed both from the wall and from Spike's eyebrow.

"Enough games, Spike, what is it?" Buffy asked, clenching her hands.

Spike let out a humorless chuckle and smirked at her.

"I don' 'ave to tell anythin' to a whore like you." Spike said as he spat blood in her direction.

"Don't try to provoke me, Spike, I know you too well to know that's what you're doing."

"Oh, you think you know me?" Spike said, as he stumbled back to lean against the wall. He had to think fast, and he knew just what to do. He sought in his pockets and took out the address the cheerleader had given him.

"Take a look at this." Spike said, and threw the paper at her feet.

"What is this?"

"Oi, you are indeed a natural blonde, aren't you?"

Buffy fumed, but picked the paper up. She unwrapped it and stared at it.

"It's an address."

"An' the winner of the stupidest blonde of the year, the slayer!"

Buffy ran and punched Spike in the nose. Spike reeled back and slammed once again into the wall.

"What is it?" Buffy almost screamed.

Spike threw his head back and took a deep breath. This was not going on like he expected.

"Answer me, damn it!"

"It's a fuckin' address, slayer."

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It's just the thing I need for you to be happy. You hold your happiness in your hands. Get on with it, Slayer!

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Buffy slammed her fist again into Spike's stomach. He nearly spat a mouthfull of blood on her face but decided otherwise.

"Tell me."

"Since you're askin' so politely," Spike said, "there's where someone will take the chip out. Bitch."

Buffy's eyes grew wide open, and Spike felt the twinge of sadness when he saw the emotions that ran through her face.

"You're lying." She said, with teary eyes.

"'m fraid not." Spike was trying really hard to not let her see how much her tears were affecting him, but he had a plan, and he had to go all the way with it. He drew his head back and slammed his forehead into Buffy's face.

She stumbled back a bit from the impact, dropping the piece of paper as she tried to regain her balance. Spike leapt forward and picked up the address.

"So, now you know it, sod off."

She gathered herself up and stared hard at him, her nose dripping blood.

"What in the hell are you thinking!?" She asked. Spike stared at her nose and silently prayed for forgiveness.

"I'd say, what are you bloody thinkin'. Leave me alone."

"Oh, sure, while you run and get that thing of your head!"

"What do you care. Run to your master, bitch."

Buffy closed her mouth, and a tear ran from her eye.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked, in a small voice. Spike had to swallow.

"Why? Oh, now that's rich, coming from you." He growled and began walking in circles around her. "Let's see. I tried to be good for you an' all you could do was shag me an' then beat me. I tried to be friends wit' all of you, and, guess what? You beat me again. I tried to prevent you from doin' mistakes an' you almost killed me. So don't pretend you care or that you give a damn."

"I..."

"No." Spike interrupted, "I'm done wit' you an' all your scoobies. Actually, 's a good thing that the poof is gettin' you back. You'll need all the help you can get."

"What?" Buffy asked, her voice barely containing her emotions.

"Oh yes, baby. As soon as this chip is over, slayer number three is goin' down."

A moment of silence fell between them and she sniffed.

"You wouldn't."

Spike cursed under his breath. What would it take for this chit to hate him?

"I think I would." Spike said, "But I won't kill all of you. I have more interesting plans."

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I would never hurt you, my love. But, for God's sake, leave. Get out of here. Let me do what I have to do. What does it take for you to leave? For you to hate me?

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Buffy took a step back and tried to control her emotions and thoughts.

"What plans?" She asked,

"The usual, y'know. The whelp? He'll die. Painfully. But not fast. Mebbe a few weeks. 'ave I ever told you the way Dru could keep a man alive for weeks while feedin' ? Those were the good days."

"Stay away from Xander. He wouldn't be able to fight back."

"Tha's the fun part, pet. He should 'ave known that this day could come. Maybe he'd kept 'is mouth shut."

Buffy shook her head. There was a bit of truth in Spike's words.

"Then comes Willow. Ah, sweet Willow. I wonder 'f she's a real redhead."

Buffy's eyes grew even wider and her breath came out in ragged puffs.

"Don't you dare to come near her, or I'll..."

"You'll what? Ask Angelus if you can step out of 'is bed?" He growled. Buffy growled back.

" I don't need to ask anyone for anything!"

"Oh, I can see it. You'll be about to stop me from turnin' Willow when the poof suddenly calls you to let you know he got a new haircut. You'll be outta the picture in three seconds flat."

"Don't..."

"Shut up! I'm talkin' here."

Inwardly, Spike was cursing Buffy's inability to fight. He was thinking over and over what things would hurt her enough to finally let go of him. He had already attacked her, Angel and her closest friends.

He knew who was next, and how it would really affect Buffy.

"Actually, there's someone who won't be harmed. "

Buffy snapped back to attention and stared at him.

"What?"

"You know. The nibblet."

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I didn't want it to go this far. Please, Buffy, get the picture and walk out of here. Don't make me say it. Don't make me do this.

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"You stay away from my sister or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?!" Spike shouted, "Stay our of Angelus' bed long enough for you to stop me? I don't think so."

Tears flowed freely from her face when she slammed her fist into Spike's face. He fell down this time, feeling dizzy and knowing he had finally pushed too far.

"You wouldn't even take a step in her direction. You'd be dust before." She spat at him.

Spike cradled his face and tried to stand up. Buffy did not let him go far before kicking him in the stomach.

"You wanted to make me angry? Congratulations, you did it."

Spike chuckled and slowly crawled back to his feet.

"I wouldn't need to walk, bitch. Your sister would come to me an' you know it."

Buffy kicked him once again in the head, making him almost lose consciousness. He flipped in the air before landing awkwardly on his left arm.

The shoulder dislocated and he had to bite his cheek to avoid screaming.

Buffy walked slowly towards him, cleaning the tears from her eyes.

"I don't know why you did this. I don't care anymore. You tried to bait me and I fell for it. I can't believe I ever thought you were any different."

She chuckled and her eyes watered again.

"Everyone kept warning me. That I shouldn't let you close. God, they were so right. You are nothing but an animal."

Spike cringed and cursed himself.

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Fuck you, Spike. Fuck you. You did it. Congratulations. Way to go, mate. You wanted her to hate you and you did it.

 

Yippie-ke-yay Motherfucker.

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"I should kill you right now. Dust you. But I won't. Do it, Spike. Get the damn chip out of your thick skull. I've beaten you before and I will do it again."

She knelt next to where he laid and she grabbed him by the lapels of his duster.

"If you want a fight, come to me. Like you said, I'll have Angel by my side. My friends. My family. And what will you have, Spike?"

He tried to look into her eyes, hoping that false bravado would help him.

"You'll have nothing." Buffy said. "You'll only have hurtful words and nothing more. So, thank you, Spike, because you made me realize what a pathetic loser you are."

She slammed him once again into the ground, not bothering to look him once again. She turned around and walked away.

Spike lifted his face to see her walk away, her head high and her steps secure.

He had done it. He had killed any emotion she could have felt towards him.

Pain laced through his body and he buried his face into the ground.

He cried because he had lost her.

He cried because he knew he could not lose something he never had.

He cried because of the pain he'd inflicted on her.

He cried because he'd never fell her love, her tenderness, her trust.

He cried because he felt as if he was already dust.

End of Chapter.