Hey peoples! This is a story I started once again in Business Education. It just started as a piece by piece, until I decided to put it up in I admit I'm not the best writer, but hey—I can still try!
Disclaimer: I don't OWN any of the Turks, they belong to Squaresoft and Tetsuya Nomura or any other Final Fantasy® Characters, but I tied Reno up and threw him in my closet. :P
"Hey, watch where you're going you idiot!" An angry employee hollered as he stumbled onto a desk, folders scattering everywhere. It followed by more angry scolding.
"On time as usual." Tseng said sarcastically under his breath, glancing over to Rude. Rude flipped the pages of the newspaper, placing his held coffee jug onto the desk and remained speechless. Just after another employee hollered at him, Reno finally stumbled in through the door and collided onto the floor. His migraine headache became even worse and he gritted his teeth.
"D-damn it... I wished I stayed home..." Reno muttered bitterly under his breath, forcing himself up and leaned against the wall, flicking his flame red hair from his eyes and wearily looked at Tseng. Tseng eyed him.
"Your attendance is precise as usual. An hour late a day, falling through my door." Tseng smiled.
Reno sneered. "Morning to you too, chief."
Reno's face was pale. His aquamarine eyes weren't energetic and lively as it usually was, and more so were dimmed to a point where it brought out the concern in Tseng. His untidiness of his uniform was normal, but something seemed amiss. Tseng already figured out why he was in such state.
"Well, I have a job for you Reno." He said, still eyeing Reno but decided to go on without questioning him. "This is going to be a very important assignment sent from Rufus himself. You are ordered to go to—"He suddenly heard a body collapsing. Tseng jerked his head, finding Reno on the floor.
Rude glared at Reno through his black shades, placing the newspaper down and stood up. Tseng gestured him reassuringly, telling him it doesn't look serious, and then bent down beside the Turk. Reno cursed in pain under his breath as Tseng placed his hand on his forehead. Reno had a disturbingly hot fever.
"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" Tseng decided to ask, helping Reno to sit and lean against the desk.
Reno smirked innocently. "Just a little."
A little my ass. Tseng thought with an obvious, wordless expression and faced the window, sighing in frustration from telling Reno again and again about drinking way too much.
He cleared his throat, preparing for another 'boring lecture' once again, hoping for once it would go through his goggle head.
"Reno how many times to I have to tell you this? You should really stop this before you seriously injure yourself." He said seriously. "Neither Rude nor I, will be able to do anything about this. It is you that makes the decisions, you that choose what path of your life you take. If you chose to make it difficult for yourself, I am not stopping you, but I—"
Rude tapped on Tseng's shoulder, and he turned around.
"Zoom!!! POW!!!! CHOOOOO! Ka-Boom! Oh no! Save me!!! AHHHH!!!"
"...He didn't hear a word I said did he?" Tseng muttered. Rude scratched behind his head as a response, sweat dropping—
Reno cackled devilishly, pretending that the stapler was some kind of war airship and paper clips falling onto the ground, assumingly being his imaginative victims.
"Oh no! It's the evil... coffee cup! Run for your goddamn lives! Eeeih!! OH NO! AHHHH! THE WORLD IS DOOMED BY THE EVIL CUP!!!" Reno then rammed Rude's coffee jug and the stapler together, more paper clips toppling onto the carpet along with his terrible sound effects.
Rude recoiled. That's my favorite cup...!!!
"SIR! I'm coming, sir! Hold on! I'll save you!" Elena clobbered through the door, resembling an angry ogre with a club readily jerking her head back and forth, then paused seeing the blank expressions of Tseng and Rude.
Tseng and Rude glared at the fallen door, blinking.
"...Think he's still alive?"
"Ten gil he still has the stapler."
"You're on."
"What...?" Elena blinked. "What's going on...?"
Tseng grinned. "You don't mind getting off Reno, do you?" Elena then looked down at her feet, seeing a line of red hair and moaning.
"Oh—OH! Oh dear—"She jumped off and Reno pushed the door off, rubbing his head.
Stupid! Knock the door, THEN come in for the rescue! Elena scolded herself hotly in her mind, not really concerned from the fact she flattened Reno.
"Damn, stupid blonde! Watch where you are going!" Reno snapped.
"Stupid blonde? How dare you! I have a name, you know!"
"Yeah, delirious old hag!"
"Why you—!!" Elena swung the baseball bat centimeters from Reno's nose without even thinking twice who her target was or who was presently in the office. Reno yelped, dodging backwards and slamming his back against the wall.
"I have a stapler—and I'm not afraid to use it!" Reno wildly eyed Elena, and then suddenly was fascinated that the staple could open and close.
"You owe me ten gil."
"So I do."
"What... what's this about?!"
Tseng and Rude drew their glances at Elena.
"I should ask you what this is about." Tseng eyes her cautiously, even more so shocked that Elena was strong enough to clobber the door flat under her feet.
Elena blushed rosily. "I was on my way to give you a report, then I heard these really weird sounds! I thought you were being killed or slaughtered by a mad cow or something... no, not a cow! Not that you could go down so easily, sir! It's just that, well—"
"Man, you talk to much, blondie!" Reno retorted feverishly. Elena eyed him deathly.
Tseng just couldn't hold himself back. "Elena," he said, baffled, "is that a baseball bat?" Elena grinned, laughing fretfully while fidgeting with her fingers.
"Uhaha... um... well, you see..." She gave up. "...Yeah... it is, sir..."
"...I didn't know we had baseball bats in ShinRa..." Rude finally spoke, sweat dropping.
Tseng slapped his forehead, muttering out a small laugh. This just kept getting better and better. What a morning! Reno then finally lost interest in the coffee jug and stapler, stumbling up to Elena.
"Hehehe..." He grinned wickedly.
"...You wanna know what this baseball bat looks like—MNPH!"
"I think you've said enough, Reno!" Tseng smiled through his gritted teeth, cupping Reno's mouth and dragged him backwards. "Sorry. You might hurt yourself again." He pressed hard behind Reno's neck, making him collapse and lay him onto the carpet, out cold.
"...He drank again, didn't he?" She figured out as Tseng stood up.
"Yes. Just a little bit too much last night..."
"How bad it is this time...?" Elena wanted to say something that didn't involve baseball bats for once.
"It's just a little more serious then the previous times. He seems to be running a high fever, and he can't stand up for a long period of time. I'm pretty surprised he managed to come here in one piece." Tseng then crossed his arms.
There was a silence.
"So uh, you want me to get the tranquilizer or something? I have one stored just down the hall for such an occasion." There was a tone of evil in Elena's voice. Tseng shook his head.
"No, I don't think that will be necessary, well this time anyway..." Tseng then had a sudden idea, and turned to Elena with a hopeful smile.
"Elena, Reno is not very capable for the mission I was going to order him to do today, so we will delay it for a bit until he gets better. At the meantime... would you mind escorting him home and keeping him company? Of course, I understand if you do not want to—"
"YES!!!! I mean, of course s-sir!!! Anything for you, sir! I will have Reno back onto his feet in a jiffy!" She exploded excitedly abruptly.
Tseng blinked, stunned. "Oh... well..." He accidentally stammered. "Excellent, then! I will come by tomorrow morning to check up on you two. Rude, would you help her carry Reno to the car?" Rude nodded helpfully, lifting Reno effortlessly. Tseng then looked over at Elena, a more serious look on his face.
"Be careful, Elena. I know Reno may be harmless, but at his state he could be a little dangerous. Not that I don't trust him, but just keep your guard up." Elena then gestured a victory pose.
"Hey, sir! You can count on me! I'll have Reno good as new tomorrow!" She then skipped out the door.
That was... easy. Now to put up this door...
Tseng thought to himself silently, realizing that several dozen people were staring at him from the other room...
Elena beamed. This is great—the greatest opportunity a girl could ever ask for! Tseng knows that Reno is such a handful and nearly impossible to control—when he finds out that I am extremely successful, he will realize that I am stronger than I look and thus he may put me in promotion or even better—ASK ME OUT FOR DINNER!! WOOHOO!!!!!
"...Elena... are you drooling?" Rude stated suddenly as he carried the unconscious Reno limply over his shoulders.
"No! Just... happy! Let's get Reno back onto his feet, eh?" Elena giggled optimistically, elbowing Rude on the side jovially prancing down the stairs. Rude blinked. Am I missing something here...?
A small groan the uttered out of Reno. "Uhn... hey Rude... the walls are moving... that's pretty cool, huh..."
"Don't worry, Reno. Elena's gonna take care of you for now—" Rude paused, then was interrupted by Reno's wild snoring.
Elena daydreamed as she opened a door on her car, little hearts fluttering around her eyes. Oh... this was the opportunity she had been waiting for... the lights... the candles... the romance... of course, all this won't happen until she finished with Reno of course—but she could handle that, how hard could that be?
She would soon regret those words.
"Umm Elena...?" Rude said silently. Elena then snapped from her gaze, dreamily looking at Rude.
"Hmm...? Oh! Oh right, Reno... just put him in here. I think he'll fit."
"The trunk...?" Bewildered, Rude cocked an eyebrow.
"I don't see why not." Rude remained silent. Elena then sighed, shutting the door. "Fine. He can sleep in the backseat, then..." Rude then flipped Reno onto his stomach, gently placing him stretched across the back seat.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Elena cooed. Rude nodded, and just as Elena started the engine—
"Elena."
"Mm?"
"You're the bravest woman I have ever met."
Reno moaned tiredly. "Oh man... what's happening... now the sky is moving..."
"You're in my car and I'm taking you home now. Relax." Elena finally noticed Reno's pained tone of voice. Reno moaned.
"What the hell... I thought I was gonna do some important mission..."
I wonder what your mission is, and why would Tseng put someone like you for such an important mission...? Elena thought to herself. "Well, apparently you aren't well enough. That's why I'm taking you home." Reno was strangely silent. Normally, he would throw a dumb-ass comment about her babysitting him as he did previously and tease her to death. This time, he just lay limply on his side, eyes shut tightly.
She stopped at a red light and couldn't help but be slightly concerned. "Reno... you okay...?" She asked her fellow Turk. Reno didn't reply. She pitied him, well almost. Elena glanced over at the traffic, deciding that she had enough time to reach over and feel Reno's forehead. And so she did.
"You're boiling..." She said more seriously, finding that Tseng was right. "Are you sure that your drinking was the cause...?"
"I dunno. Don't remember a thing, actually..." Reno replied wearily, almost sounding serious. It was surprising this was the same Reno from ten minutes ago. Elena suddenly leaped from a sudden honking, banging her head from the trucks behind her.
"Hey, you asshole! It's a green light!" The driver bellowed impatiently, followed by more honking and cursing.
"S-sorry! Just a second—" Elena grinned, turning at the highway. Sheesh. Someone woke up in the wrong side of the bed. She thought to herself. A few quiet minutes then passed by.
Reno hesitated. "...Um... Elena..."
"Yeah?"
"You know in airplanes, they have those plastic bag thingys attached to the seat if they had a weak stomach, right?"
"....Yeah. What about it?"
Reno's stomach groaned loudly.
"...You don't happen to have any right now, do you?"
"HELL NO." Elena boomed wide-eyed. "Oh no... No, no, no, no, no! Not in this car! I'm renting it! Meaning I have to pay more if something happens-!?" Elena shrieked urgently, jerking her head backwards forgetting that she was driving. The car swirled, turning against the traffic.
"Oh no—YAHHH!" She screamed, dodging upcoming trucks and cars. She turned sharply at a curve, trying to get back into the right lane, instead, heading down a park.
"Get outta the way!" She honked in panic as people dodged for their lives from the female Turk. She ran over several flowerbeds, screaming as she knocked over a few fountains and almost hit a tree. She then saw a chance to turn, unfortunately ramming over someone's picnic.
"Sorry!" Elena called out apologetically.
Seeing the traffic, Elena turned again sharply at an alley, blindly seeing an old lady meters away.
"WAHAHAH!! BACK OFF GRANDMA!! MOVE!!" She hollered, just managing to miss the elder, the right side of the small care screeching as it collided with a brick wall. The women remained in her same position, holding up her walking cane and glared at the uncontrolled blue car, and yelled through her gapped teeth:
"Stupid blonde!!"
Finally, she managed to rejoin the main highway. She sighed, her heart pounding.
"Oh... my car..." Elena whimpered, seeing sandwich bits spluttered against her windows and the car looking like it just went through a giant can-opener."...At least we are alive..." She then remembered Reno, who was now gulping and swallowing. The last thing she needed was Reno's last-night dinner on the seats.
"O-open the window!"
Elena paused, his choking and gulping suddenly changing to roaring laughter. She slowly turned her head around beady eyes widened glaring at Reno with a deathly look. He just couldn't stop laughing, pounding his fist on the seats and his eyes became watery.
"You are so gullible!" Reno choked for air. "I can't believe you fell for that!"
"ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?! AND WHAT ABOUT MY CAR?! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THERE?!?!" Elena shouted angrily. Reno continued laughing, not taking this seriously.
She turned around, teary eyes glaring out the window. She couldn't believe Reno thought this was funny. "Reno... you son of a bi..." Elena muttered under her breath, reassuring herself that this was for Tseng, not Reno.
"Come on. Get out. This is your apartment, right?" Elena opened Reno's door. Reno lied there inertly, exhausted from laughing so hard nonstop.
"Come on, I can't wait here all day!"
"Yeah you could." Reno snorted in response obstinately. Elena gnashed her teeth, losing her patience with him.
"If you don't come out right now, I'll pull you out by your hair and we'll see who will be laughing now!"
Reno groaned, forcing himself to sit up. "Man, you're one tough cookie..." He said ornery. Elena then wrapped her arm around his waist, supporting his free arm over her shoulder and dragged him alongside into the building.
"Hehehe, I could get used to this..."
"Shut up."
"What floor?" She asked miserably.
"You don't even know your own number...?! What's the matter with you?"
"I wrote it on a piece of paper... but I think I made a paper airplane outta it in the subway cause I got bored..." Elena growled in frustration. Not even half an hour and Reno was starting to drive her crazy and almost get her killed. She had a feeling Reno wasn't even trying to be annoying.
"Oh wait, I think it's on the 7th floor..."
"Thank god." She said in relief. "Anything else I should know?"
"Hm...Can't think of anything at the moment." His tone was foul. Elena knew that tone by heart it meant nothing good.
As the elevator doors propped open, Elena heaved Reno. He was surprisingly heavy, despite his scrawny posture. Man, this elevator is so slow... She thought to herself, still supporting Reno. Reno though yawned wanting so desperately to just fall down and sleep. He leaned his head against Elena's shoulder placing his full weight on her figuring she'd make a nice fluffy pillow—the bad part was, he fluffed her where his hand could reach—
The elevator doors opened at the 7th floor Reno was on the surface with a giant red mark slapped across his face, and an absolutely mortified Elena backed against the wall.
"YOU PERVERT!"
"I swear... I was delusional! I only cupped your a—"
"I swear if there was a chainsaw in my hands right now, I'd use it!" Elena scolded feverishly, her face still bright red and wondered where she put that baseball bat. "Just don't talk Reno; do the world a favor. Just lye there in your pathetic life and SHUT UP." She spat coldly at the Turk. Reno sweat dropped.
"But—"
"I'm not listening." Elena retorted stubbornly. Reno rolled his eyes.
"Fine. Not my fault we're on the wrong floor..."
"What did you say...?! But you said—"
"I remember now. It's on the 77th floor. Smart, aren't I? And to add on, ahh..." A grin stretched across his face. "The elevators busted from the fortieth floor up..." Elena's jaws dropped, standing there like a statue.
"You just know what to say to get a girl thrilled, don't you?" Elena growled viciously, dragging Reno back into the elevator.
This was a pretty huge apartment, bigger than she expected from the outside. But the shocking part was for such a huge building, the qualities were very poor like a cheap motel. She couldn't imagine anyone living in a dump like this.
Reno sat on the corner of the elevator, Elena refusing to support him and had her back against the ledge knowing that he wouldn't be able to grab her, eyeing him. Reno eyed her back. They continued this for a long period of time, both not blinking.
"Reno, what are you looking at?" Elena finally focused her eyes very carefully with Reno's, noticing that he wasn't looking into her eyes.
Reno blinked innocently. "Well, isn't it obvious? I'm examining the twins."
The elevator doors opened and Reno, once again, lied on the surface with yet another slapped red mark but on both of his cheeks, and Elena with that same mortified look in her face, bracing her chest and back against the wall.
"You are such pervert, peeping tom!!"
"Feh, don't get your hopes up. I've seen bigger and better."
"Get up. NOW." Elena stomped out of the elevator hotly. "There's now way in hell I'm going to carry you 37 floors!"
"Oh well... you've got me there." Reno said wearily, coughing slightly when he smirked.
"Tseng would be very disappointed, though..."
"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" Reno cooed. Elena leaned her head against the walls, wheezing and puffing, restraining herself not to kill Reno.
"I... hate... you... so... much!!"
Reno grinned. "...I know. Everyone does." There was a strange tone of deject in his voice when he said that. Elena then realized she didn't have the keys, then groaned, looking at Reno. Having no choice, she had to search all of his pockets. It was unfortunately located in the back pockets of his pants.
"Feh..."
"Shut up, Reno—"She opened the doors.
It was no shock seeing Reno's apartment. It was a total disaster that looked like it held World War III. Fast-food garbage and wrappers scattered all over the floor along with food god-knows-how-long it had been lying there with a strong foul scent that flooded to whole apartment. The dishes staked like towers that were never washed, pizza boxes, beer cans, and anything else that would make you sick. Geez Reno... I knew you were sloppy, but I didn't know it was this bad...
"It's a mystery why you don't have a girlfriend." Elena said under her breath, hauling Reno into his room, which was just as bad as the overall apartment.
She placed Reno down onto the bed, sighing in relief that she had just done the seemingly impossible. Reno lied there, taking hold of his blankets and throwing it over his head, tangling himself in an instant. Elena then left his room, sitting on a couch and prayed the squishy thing she sat on wasn't food.
Tseng would definitely be proud. But what next? He told her to take care of Reno, meaning treating him for the night. Elena sighed again, looking at the disgusting environment. It's no wonder Reno is sick. He's just like a three-year old stuck in a twenty-four year old body.
She took out her journal, scribbling in what happened today and did not hesitate to describe in clear words every detail that happened. She looked again at Reno's apartment.
Maybe, I should clean. Just a little bit, or else I'm gonna get sick.
She told herself, finding the nearest broom.
To be continued...
I hate this chapter's name! Arg! I couldn't think of anything cool. If you think you've got a better chapter name for this chappy, feel free to comment and I will credit you if I do use it.
Hee hee, kind of a cheesy start but that's okay! XD Reno is just so kawaii when he is a trouble-maker! Don't you agree?! But I think I overdid it, but oh well! The better! I know it seems stupid, but things will get more interesting later in the next few chapters...
Just click on that sexy blue link on the bottom left-hand corner. Yeah, you know what I mean. PLEASE! Then I might just continue... with you urging me on!