Oh gosh… I had so much fun with Tseng, Rufus and Reno in this chapter. You'll find out why… hahaha…(evil smile) My goodness, I've just noticed how much you guys really wanna see Rufus Tee hee! I guess I'll out him up more often, then, just for you!

"Attention, all of Shinra." The announcement went off early that morning. "Please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots. I repeat, please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots. Thank you."

"Damn it!" Reno hissed down the hallway walking alongside with Reeve. "Why do we have to have those damn shots!"

"It's just a few times a year, Reno." Reeve countered, cocking an eyebrow. "One shot won't kill you. Also Rufus is sick, and they don't know what's the matter with him… I guess this is an opportunity to see that no one else is sick…"

Reno didn't answer, but just grunted. They reached Reeve's office.

"So, you ready?" Reeve asked, searching into his drawers. Reno was leaning against the door ledge, arms crossed.

"Ready? For… oh. That. Yeah, I guess." Reno sighed tediously.

Reeve looked at the Turk. "What's the matter? You don't sound to optimistic about it."

"Pfft. It's an easy task. I'm surprised I'm even going to bother going." Reno yawned.

"Besides, who'd want to be stuck with that talkative little blond brat?"

"Who? Elena?" Reeve grinned, closing his suitcase full of folders he had placed into.

"That's too bad. I think you two make a cute couple."

"Yeah, well…?" Reno glared at Reeve with horror. "What the hell did you just say!"

"I'm just joking. Calm down."

"Attention, all of Shinra." The announcement went off once again, "Please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots. I repeat, please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots. Thank you."

"Yeah, I heard you twice already you piece of crap." Reno spoke crossly to the speaker atop the door.

Reeve looked up at it. "They must have accidentally repeated it in the machine. It's not supposed to go off more than twice."

"Yeah, well those cheap-asses made a mistake, then." Reno grumbled.

Elena then suddenly came in, sighing in relief when she saw Reno. Reeve was amused by Reno's pained, comical expression.

"I've been looking all over for you!" She said angrily.

"I feel loved." Reno replied imprudently with a grin.

Elena disregarded his tone. "Anyway, do you have everything you need?"

"Attention, all of Shinra…"

"Yeah, I should."

"The pink present and everything?" She asked again.

"Please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots…"

"YES, the PINK present and everything!" Reno rolled his eyes. "What's with you guys, bugging me about it?"

"Well SORRY." Elena replied feverishly. "I just wanted to know."

"I repeat…"

"Okay, my turn." Reno grinned maliciously. "Got all your womanly needs?"

"…Womanly needs?" Elena repeated suspiciously.

"Please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots, thank you…"

"Come on, you know what I mean. Your one month curse thing…"

"Oh shut it. You know what? You are such an ass!" Elena retorted intensely. "Can't you at least be reasonable and act like a Turk, and stop asking me these stupid questions?"

"Attention, all of Shinra…"

"She's pissed." Reno inwardly whispered towards Reeve deliberately, who couldn't help but chuckle lightly. "That explains the bloody red spot on her crotch…"

Elena glared at him, refusing herself to look but she did anyway in the corner of her eye.

Reno just snickered. "Made you look."

"Please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots…"

"Oh, you're terrible!"

"I know. Wanna kiss?" Reno said randomly and puckered his lips, just to make her more mad. He succeeded.

"That's it!" Elena stormed, gripping the doorknob tightly. "I've had enough of you, Reno! I'll report you!"

"I repeat…"

"Cry baby. Go ahead. I couldn't care less. Geez you are snappy." He mocked.

"Am not!"

"Are too. And you know it."

"Please report to the front of Hojo's lab for your shots, thank you…"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"AM NOT!"

"Attention, all of Shinra…"

"ARE TOO"

"AM NOT!"

"Please report – "

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Reno hollered, snatching the stapler and hurling it into the speaker. The speaker coughed out sparks, instantly dying. Reeve jumped.

"Hey – who's going to pay for that!" He snapped towards Reno. Reno flicked his wrist.

"Whatever." Reno griped. "I hate the damn needles. They piss me off. The announcing doesn't make it any better…"

About time someone shut that thing off… Elena thought inwardly.

"You're afraid of needles?" A sudden derisive smile was set on Reeve's face.

Reno hesitated. "Wh-what? No, it's not that! It's just – "

"Wittle Weno is scared of needles… awwww…." Reeve puckered his lips. "Does wittle Weno want to hold Weeve's hand…?" He laughed afterwards, and Elena couldn't help but giggle. Finally, someone was on her side.

Reno felt like smacking him, but instead he smiled sweetly, pointing above Reeve's head.

"Hey Reeve! Look! Flying pigs with bazookas and free mako goodie bags!"

Reeve turned around. "What? WHERE!"

BZZZZZZZZT!

Rufus leaned back, glaring at the ceiling, his world spinning before him. The past two weeks have been sheer living hell. He had a splitting headache; nauseous to the point of vomiting, cramps, chest pain… you name it. And being the head president did not make things any easier.

He couldn't afford to show any weaknesses. Not now. Not ever. What drove his curiosity and slight concern was that he didn't know what he had – not even Hojo knew. He just stayed with the flu, but in the back of his mind he knew it was something… else.

"Sir?" Scarlet suddenly spoke from behind.

"What." Rufus said dully, not looking at her as he spoke.

"The Turks have left for their missions, as you ordered."

"…Good." Rufus replied, placing his hand onto his forehead and swept threw his blond hair. "You can go now."

Scarlet stood there in slight disappointment. "Are you not going to question my report?"

"…Go ahead." Rufus said anyway, though clearly uninterested at the moment.

"Well, Heideggar and I…"

Rufus closed his eyes, heaving a large sigh. All the words that came from Scarlets mouth was 'blah blah blah blah blah…' for a good twenty minutes. During that time, he thought of nothing. He confused himself when he suddenly had the desire for a cupcake.

"…And so…" She continued. Dear god… she's still talking. Rufus realized.

"As I said, Mr. President, Heideggar and I wish for permission to search in the slums for Legulia material. We suspect that they might be there…"

"Lagulia material…? Why in the slums?" Rufus asked bored. What is Legulia anyway…? Sounds like a type of pizza…

Scarlet grew pink, suppressing herself not to scream. "Sir… I was just explaining what it was. Do you wish that I repeat – "

"NO. No that is fine." Rufus jerked up, now looking at Scarlet for the first time. "Go right ahead. Permission granted." I don't really know what you are doing, but okay…

"R-really…?" Scarlet asked, slightly surprised.

Rufus glared at her coldly. "Do you have any objections?"

"N-no! Of course not!" Scarlet giggled fretfully. Rufus rubbed his head, his headache starting to get worse.

Heigeddar unfortunately came in a rush, panting. Rufus looked at him, somehow not surprised. "And where have you been?"

"Ordering the officers around, sir! Haha!" Heideggar saluted with a loud cackle, making Rufus cringe. He spotted traces of donut crumbs on the fat mans beard.

"…I see." …Idiot. Rufus said, ultimately unaffected. He felt no need to yell at him, actually, he felt just like dropping dead and sleep.

"So…?"

"He has granted us permission, Heideggar." Scarlet told him. Heideggar beamed.

"Well, then!" He chuckled loudly. "Then that's that! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Rufus grasped his head, leaning foreword in pain from the encounter with the fat mans hollering excuse of a laugh. He glared dangerously at the two. "How many times have I told you… to stop laughing like that?" He shot at them.

"Ah… sorry, sir." Heideggar sighed.

"Nevermind." Rufus said, frustrated. "Just get out."

"But sir –"

"I-SAID-GET-OUT. NOW." His cold blue eyes shot towards them critically. Scarlet and Heideggar knew that look too well, bowed and immediately left.

Rufus leaned back, heaving in a deep sigh to calm himself. He closed his eyes.

Elena sat near the docks, keenly looking for any signs of the red headed Turk.

Damn it… Reno! The ship is going to leave in a few minutes…! She sighed impatiently; hating that at this moment that she wished Reno was here for once.

Elena suddenly jumped when she felt a cold metal touch the side of her neck.

"Aieyy!"

"Where were you? I was waiting for you." Reno barked densely with a hint of sarcasm.

Elena narrowed her eyes. "Me? I was... What on earth are you wearing?" Elena eyed sharply at Reno's multi-colored Hawaiian shirt.

Reno gave her a wide grin. "What? Just because you don't have a life doesn't mean that I can't have one."

"But…" Elena stammered, glaring at him from top to bottom. "…Reno, we are Turks! We are supposed to be professionals! We are supposed to wear our uniforms! They are our trademarks…!"

"There you go again, being Tseng's little girl." Reno mused, giving her a typical bored look.

"Can't you just break the damn rules for once? Besides, do you think everyone will place the welcome mat? I mean, come on. Everyone is piss-ass afraid of the Turks' reputation. Might as well not raise any concern – ever see a red-head in a black suit with a pink present and yellow bow?" He grinned as he said that.

Elena was caught off guard, helplessly blinking blankly. She never thought that of all people, Reno would be right.

"…I guess, I guess so." Elena finally muttered in defeat. She had a sweet smile on her face. "The shirt really matches your pink present, as well as your hair..."

"Why, thank…? Wait, what do you mean by that?" Reno suddenly snapped, but before he could grip on his nightstick the captain finally spoke from behind–

"ALRIGHT, KIDDIES!" The great man bellowed loudly, making Reno leap in shock and fall over the balcony; the captain didn't seem to see Reno. "YOU READY TO GO OR WHAT! ALRIGHT, LADS! LET'S GET GOING!"

"You alright?" Elena asked, bending over to her fallen comrade with a playful smile.

"…Your lips are flapping, but I can't hear you." Reno muttered mordantly.

Tseng leaned back on his seat, watching the grey clouds pass by as the rain tampered against the window. The weather was rather bleak, and this didn't do him any favor.

Tseng sighed. "Dull day." He said after awhile, breaking the silence. Rude just nodded in response. Tseng drew monotonous, knowing that Rude was not the type to have a conversation. Only with Reno, Tseng observed, would Rude truly talk in a conversation. Tseng started drumming his fingers on the wheel, trying to rid his boredom.

"I thought he would be here by now." Rude finally said, looking out the window to the wondrous lights of the Gold Saucer.

"I know. Just wait." Tseng replied. "Rufus told us to wait for him – he works here. If he does not cooperate, we have Rufus' permission to take him in – by force if we have to."

Rude looked at him. "This guy dangerous?"

Tseng shrugged. "Don't know. Rufus sent only the two of us, so I guess he's not all that bad… god that stuffed thing is annoying." Tseng suddenly changed the subject, seeing the bouncing, dancing man in a suit of a large white cat, greeting in visitors, even in the rain. Tseng always wondered how someone dressed in a suit like that could keep a constant smile, until it suddenly occurred to him that they probably injected the stuff that made you always smile.

It caught his eye when he saw a man with a white tuxedo and top hat suddenly came out, with two very youthful girls beside him with tight outfits. He wrapped his arms around their waists, pulling them closely so they could squeeze under his umbrella.

"That's him?" Rude regarded Tseng's expression.

Tseng nodded. "Yes, that is him."

"My goodness." The man said, nipping one of the girls neck. "…I can just eat you up, you sexy little bitch."

"Oh please, stop it…" She giggled, clearly flattered. She giggled even more when the man pressed his finger teasingly near her breast.

"Hey, I want some attention, too!" The other whined jealously, kissing him on the cheek and nipped his ear. The man laughed.

"Oh, don't worry… I'll have fun with the both of you tonight."

He ceased, blinking blankly as Tseng and Rude walked towards him.

"Jeffrey Collin?" Tseng questioned.

"Yes?"

Tseng crossed his arms. "We would like to talk to you."

"Oh?" Jeffrey said, then after a few seconds of silence he grinned. "Oh, you must be that man calling me about wanting a job!"

"…Pardon?" Tseng blinked; the question he was going to ask suddenly just flew out of his mind.

"Come on, girls. Go on – your pimp daddy will be waitin' for you." He released his grip around them, slapping their bottoms as they walked away, giggling once again. Rude's gaze followed the girls, then back at his boss and… the pimp. It suddenly occurred to him why would Rufus want to ask about a pimp in the first place.

"Now, to business. Guess you couldn't wait, but oh well." He clapped his hands, his jewelry jingling. He examined Tseng tip to toe, scratching his chin and humming 'Ah-hah' every time he looked in certain… places. Tseng and Rude were utterly disturbed.

"Yes, yes you will do." He reached into his pocket. "You look like a player."

"…I beg your pardon?" Tseng asked, wide-eyed.

"You're the gay man, right? You keep calling me about your problems – you know your attraction to other men? Well, good news – I have an opening just south of here, a few of my girls got no boss to tell them where to swing their little asses, you dig?" He cackled, elbowing Tseng's side with a wide smirk.

"Lots of sexy hot chicks there, you should be converted into a normal man anytime! Of course, if you become bisexual, at least we accomplished something… whoa whoa, what's with da look?" Jeffrey quivered slightly from Tseng's deathly gaze.

There was a long silence.

"…You're not my man?" Jeffrey said, shocked, figuring it out. "I've seen dis in movies… ah, sorry. Just with your long hair and girly posture and tight black tux, I thought you were my man."

"…How the hell does that pronounce me to be gay!" Tseng snapped, clutching his fist trying his best not to swing.

"Well, duh." Jeffrey rolled his eyes. "Who has long hair? Honestly! Only guys like Sephiroth look good with long hair, but personally, I think the guy would look great with short hair. See these guys swabbing the place? They have short hair – almost all of them do. You my friend, walking around like that with long hair… it's like an open invitation for gay men all around… and…" Jeffrey stopped, seeing Tseng's twitching eye.

"Err… Tseng?" Rude cocked an eyebrow, looking curiously at his friend. Tseng was silent, and then suddenly he started laughing. The two men watching Tseng were baffled.

"…You okay?" Rude asked, concerned if Tseng finally lost it.

"Fine, just fine." Tseng laughed, pulling out his gun and aimed at the pimp right… there.

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't blow your balls off right now." Tseng said dangerously, but strangely almost sweetly. Rude stood by, watching helplessly, unsure if he should stop Tseng, or watch.

"Hey, hey hey hey!" Jeffrey cried. "C'mon, man! I was teasing! Come on, I've been celibate for the past 24 hours, and it's been a living hell… two girls waiting for me, and they are expecting me to be in one piece, you dig? You can break an arm, but not my little man…" He hinted.

Tseng remained silent then tucked his gun away in which the pimp heaved a large sigh, turning around and gestured Rude to take over with a frustrated sigh.

"Gee… thanks man." Jeffrey then smiled, and just when he was pushing it –

"I'll sign you up for the gay community – I'm sure they give free haircuts."

Rude watched in absolute terror when he saw Tseng's most diabolic look he had ever had as he slowly turned around.

"…Tseng? …You okay?" Rude asked uneasily.

"Wonderful." Tseng said as he pulled up his sleeves, cracking his fists.

Hmmm… I'm going to have a hard time trying to figure out a chapter name for this! Any other idea's for this chapters title, highly appreciated! It kinda is Reno, Rufus and Tseng in one chap… hehehe… I'm stooped what to say! Not to mention I rushed in certain arts - could of improves Reno and Elena's departure with more details. Oh by the way just to let you know I didn't check this over after I wrote it so be warned, okay? I'm in a hurry! My time is limited on the comp! I'm using simple words… need to improve adjectives… (cry)

Poor Tseng… imagine being called gay by a pimp. That evil speaker that just keeps repeating… grrr… then Reno's Hawaiian shirt! Yay:3 Sorry, I've always imagined what Reno would look like in colorful clothes… maybe I'll put up a pic in eh? Hee hee! And thank you for the reviews! I'm so happy! (Tears of joy)

Err… yes… about the first two chapters… you have no idea how aghast I was when someone told me that there was another fanfic with similar events… this just makes me look bad and evil… My friend who originally gave me the idea might have read the other story, then told it to me without mentioning it already existed… sheesh I shoulda asked! I feel so terrible!

Well, if it gets really, really bad and out-of-hand I'll just take out the first couple chaps and replace it with a new chaps, just for the respect of the first author. :)