What Was There All Along

Disclaimer: I own nothing except any OCs.

Let the cliché fest begin…

Max was shell shocked, one minute she was talking to Alec, the next minute he was storming out of her apartment with a hurt expression on his face, just what the fuck had happened here? Why did Alec suddenly care what she thought? She'd said worse to him before and he hadn't cared, granted that was before things between the two of them got even more confused but why was he so upset, and most importantly, why did she care that he was upset?

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When OC arrived home at two a.m. it was to find Max curled up on the sofa around a cushion looking more lost and confused than she had ever seen her look before, she couldn't understand what had happened to make her friend look so small and frail.

"What happened boo?" asked OC quietly, the excitement of Crash forgotten as she caught a glimpse of the ravaged look on her friend's face, she had clearly had some kind of shock tonight. Had something bad happened on her 'Eyes Only' mission with Alec?

"Nothing…" she began, before catching sight of the incredulous look OC was directing her way, no way was OC buying that crap tonight. "Alright, alright," Max sighed, putting her hands in the air in surrender, "I had a fight with Alec."

"Now this is interesting," OC thought, "not her boy my ass, like she'd be this strung out if she didn't care, damn is this situation a mess! Poor boo!"

"So why so gloomy, I mean it ain't like you and he don't fight all the time." she stated rationally, hoping Max would give more detail on exactly what had happened.

"Not like this OC, he was really hurt," confessed Max, gnawing at her lip in obvious concern, "he thinks that I think he's a screw up."

"Well don't you?" OC prompted.

"After tonight I don't know what to think, but screw up is definitely not one of the things I would call him," stated Max grimly.

"There's a story there," realised OC, wanting her friend to tell her exactly what had happened tonight. "Well why don't ya tell Original Cindy what happened and she'll see if she can't help you figure it out." she calmly pleaded with her friend to tell her what had happened.

Sighing Max complied, "It was supposed to be an easy mission, little breaking and entering, grabbing some plans from a vault, ya know the usual, but it all went sideways…" Max broke off, clearly still shaken as she went back to hugging the pillow, clutching it like a lifeline.

"White?" questioned OC, figuring that he could easily be what was freaking out her boo.

"No, nothing like that." denied Max vehemently, confusing OC even more, if not White then what?

"We tripped some kind of silent alarm, and before we knew it there were guards everywhere…" Max explained, her panic seeming to increase exponentially as she neared whatever it was that was scaring her so badly.

"But you and Alec handled it, right boo?" questioned OC, wondering how this had managed to scare her normally unflappable roommate.

At this Max bit her lip, burying her head into the pillow, her shoulders shaking with suppressed tears, this was not good, since when did Max ever cry?

"We were fighting them off and…" Max gulped, steadying her nerves before continuing, "I never even saw him coming…" she stuttered, trying to keep her voice steady, and keep back the sob fighting its way out of her throat.

At these words OC's heart sank, just what had gone down tonight? "What happened?" she asked, her voice deadly serious.

"He was gonna kick me, his foot was like an inch from my stomach…" Max explained, a tear sliding town her cheek, as she dropped one hand protectively to her abdomen and her unborn child.

"So that's what this is about," realised OC, "she nearly lost her baby and she's in shock about it, huh, I guess she really does want it…"

"But ya alright, right boo?" clarified OC, needing to hear from Max that she really was alright, "I mean you got the bastard that tried to kick you, right?"

"No, I didn't," sobbed Max, "I was too slow, I wouldn't have been able to…Oh God OC! I came that close to…" she cried, loosing control and dropping her head onto the pillow.

OC knew what was going on now, and she was worried, but she knew that Max just had to get this out of her system, the baby was alright, her friend was just still in shock about what could have happened, she'd be alright eventually, OC just had to wait for her to calm down a bit.

Once Max's sobs had quieted, and it seemed that her friend had regained some semblance of control, OC got back to asking her what had happened, "So what then, if you didn't stop him…"

"Alec." Max interrupted.

"Alec what?" OC asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Alec saved us." stated Max simply, as she drew her knees up to her chest protectively.

"And now we get to the crux of the matter." thought OC, realising where Max was going with this, Alec had saved her, damn, she was gonna have to buy that boy a drink at Crash!

"I've never seen him like that before OC," Max continued, unaware of Cindy's thoughts on the matter, "he was…like a different person. He didn't let any of the guards get anywhere near me after that, he was on fire, I've never seen him fight that well before OC, and his eyes…" at this Max shivered, the very memory of the experience seeming to frighten her.

Snapping out of the memory Max seemingly then went off at a tangent, stunning Cindy with the abrupt subject change, "Did you know he was a CO back at Manticore?"

"No can't say that I did boo." answered OC, trying to see where Max was going with this.

"Neither did I, he said I never asked, and he's right OC I didn't," Max bit her lip, sucking on it as she thought, before continuing, "I never gave him a chance, I just assumed that he wasn't worth anything cos he made a few mistakes, but its not like I'm so perfect is it," she continued to OC's shock, "you have no idea the stupid things I did when I first got out, but I wasn't willing to give Alec the same chance that people gave me, I guess he was right, I did think he was a screw up, but I had no right to. Truth is, I really don't know him at all, this whole Rachel disaster should have told me that, I have no idea what they did to him in there OC, I can't even imagine what he went through. I don't know if I could have survived it," she shook her head, in seeming exasperation with herself, "He deserves my respect, not my pity." Max admitted, pinning OC with a fierce gaze, filled with self loathing and pain, "But he'll probably never talk to me again so…" she ducked her head, sighing in frustration.

"Hold up there girl, I'm glad ya giving Alec a chance and all, but there is no way that ya boy is gonna stay away for long, truth is he cares about ya too much ta do that, he'll forgive ya boo," OC continued squeezing her friend's hand in support, "he'll forgive you," she repeated looking directly into her friend's tear filled eyes for emphasis, "just give him some time to cool off."

"I hope so OC." admitted Max, letting her breath out in a whoosh as she raked a hand through her hair, "I need to talk to him, I can't leave things like this." she stated, seeming to realise how important it was to sort things out now, before they had a chance to fester.

"Hold up." calmed OC, "Now boo? No offence, suga but you look dead on your feet right now, you should sleep, talk to ya boy tomorrow after you've rested and calmed down some." she pleaded, hoping to appeal to Max's common sense, and failing miserably.

"I can't sleep with this weighing on my mind OC." confessed Max, before pulling a startled OC into a hug, muttering thanks, and grabbing a jacket clearly heading off to Alec's apartment to talk to him, leaving a stunned OC in her wake.

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Alec was upset, it seemed that no matter what he did Max would still think of him as a screw up, and sure he might have deserved it, but what exactly did he have to do to get her to trust him? What right did she have to judge him anyway? Just because he hadn't been lucky like her in getting out of Manticore, it didn't mean that he was worthless, she had no idea what his life had been. She was judging him by all these 'normal' standards, but 'news flash' he wasn't 'normal', would never be 'normal' he had seen things that most people could never imagine, but she expected him to just fit in like he'd always been there, of course he was gonna have problems! That didn't mean he wasn't trying! And that she didn't see it, and seemed determined to believe that he had never done anything important with his life hurt.

Why shouldn't he have been a good soldier at Manticore, a CO, did she really believe that they gave out assassinations to any idiot? He had been chosen for those missions because he was the best, Manticore's finest, and hey, maybe that was nothing to be proud of, but it was the only life he'd known for 20 years, what right did she have to think herself so much better than him? She didn't know what it had been like. She could never understand, they had ways of making you forget, and 'when you couldn't forget they had ways of making you not care', she had no right to judge, she got out, she wasn't there when things got really bad, when she survived re-indoctrination maybe then they could talk but until then she really had no clue where he was coming from.

Feeling generally pissed off, miserable, and still shocked at how close they had come to loosing the baby, Alec had spent the past few hours simply wandering around Seattle, trying to loose himself, escape the fucked up mess he called life, but it didn't do him any good, her face still haunted his thoughts. It wasn't fair, he couldn't even escape her in his mind!

By 6 in the morning Alec admitted defeat, and found himself wandering home to get some much needed sleep. Between Max worries and 'Eyes Only' missions he hadn't been getting enough lately, even by X5 standards. But opening his apartment door he wanted to groan in frustration, it just figured didn't it, his life was never just simple, no it had to be complicated, or if he were feeling really pissed off he could say 'completely fucked up', that would also be fairly accurate.

MAX. She had clearly broken into his apartment to talk to him, hell maybe even to apologise, God knew stranger things had happened! But had clearly been too tired by the mission to stay awake to wait for his return, so there she was, curled up on his couch, fast asleep, head buried in one of his ratty pillows.

"On the upside," Alec thought, "at least she's not awake so I don't have to talk to her now." But what was he supposed to do, just leave her there? He couldn't really stand the thought of waking her up but surely she'd kill him for letting her sleep. Figuring it was probably worth the risk of letting her sleep if she was that tired she needed to, and that he could probably do with the sleep as well, he decided to just leave her. But before he did, he went to his bedroom to get her a blanket, pleased to find that she didn't wake when he wrapped her up in it, apparently her instincts still recognised him as her mate even if she herself didn't, it was kind of nice to know, he realised, brushing some ebony hair away from her face, before retreating to his room to get some much needed sleep.

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Max had come over to Alec's with the intention of apologising to him, she'd knocked on his door, but when he had hadn't answered, she figured that he was either out, or ignoring her, either way she decided that the best course of action would be to pick the lock and let herself in. If Alec was home he wouldn't be able to avoid her, and if he wasn't, well then she would just have to wait for him, because she absolutely refused to leave without talking to him.

Walking into his apartment, Max figured that if she was gonna wait for him, she might as well be comfortable while doing it, so she sat down on his couch, trying desperately not to fall asleep.

However she underestimated how tired she was, and here in Alec's apartment, with the scent of him all around her she felt safe and content, and so tired, so without meaning to, she curled up on the couch, and fell asleep, her head buried in a pillow that smelt like him, a smell her mind connected with safety…

Thanks for all the reviews!

In answer to X5 411 about the whole Alec being a CO thing, I know it's a cliché (hell this story is a walking talking one!) but I couldn't resist. As for him being the brother of an 09er well the way I see it, he was like Zack, CO before the 09 escape, afterwards the position was probably removed for a while, but if he got the Berrisford mission I figure he must have proved his loyalty eventually, so was probably reinstated. As for him telling Max, your right that what made him save her was the instinct to protect her, but he's not sure what to say about that, so being Alec he takes the easy way out and avoids talking to Max about it, throwing her off track by talking about the past. He doesn't think she'd understand why he really reacted the way he did, or at least that was the vibe I was going for. Also we've seen that Alec wasn't much like Ben, despite the whole twin thing, they were shaped by different life experiences, and grew into very different people so it is conceivable for Alec to be a CO but Ben not to be, if you were wondering about that( Besides, Max and Sam aren't exactly the same, hint, hint). People may not agree with me, but as you'll see with time, I've really twisted the history for this story (I'm getting to that bit,) all will become clear eventually!

Cheers for all the support, please continue to review and tell me what you think, I really appreciate it when people give me their honest opinion of my work, its really helpful!

Now review! Please?

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